Indoda ebuhlotsheni ihola phambili. Owesifazane ngokuvamile uyaziwa. Uthembela kukho konke kumuntu wakhe, amethemba, amvumela ukuba enze izinqumo ezibalulekile futhi athinte impilo yakhe. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lolu themba lukhula lukhuni, luvuselele ubudlelwane nothando nokuhlakanipha, noma lube ngukuthembela okuphelele kumlindi wesilisa oyisebenzisayo ukuzithimba, ubudlova obungokwengqondo nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Futhi akunjalo ngempela umuntu ohluphekile emphakathini - udoti, umlutha wezidakamizwa, umdlwenguli. Ukuziphatha, ukubhubhisa nokubhubhisa kungaba kahle, kunokwethenjelwa nokwanele ngohlobo lomlingani. Yiziphi izibonakaliso ekuziphatheni komuntu okubonisa ukulimaza kwakhe owesifazane?
- Ukuqhathanisa. Ukuqhathanisa, ngisho nokungahlambuluki kunazo zonke futhi okumboziwe ngamahlaya, kusho ukuthobeka nokuhlukunyezwa. Indoda ingakuqhathanisa nonina (umama wakhe uyathokozisa kangako, unina unomnotho okwedlulele, umama wakhe uhlala ephansi kunapapa), nabesifazane bekade (omunye wayeyinkosikazi ehlakaniphile, omunye uhlale evumela abangane) noma nabanye besifazane (umkakho wompheki uneminyaka yakho, futhi umakhelwane unobunzima). Uzohlala ethola futhi abeke njengesibonelo ukuthi owesifazane oziphatha ngayo, umlingiswa noma ubuhle, ubonisa ngokucacile ukungapheleli kwakho. Kuzodingeka ufunde kuphela phakathi kwemigqa: "Angikuthandi! Awubonisi lutho kuwe, futhi kufanele uhlale uzizwa futhi wazi indawo yakho, engaphansi kwebhodibhodi! "
- Ukuvimbela ukuxhumana nabangani. Lokhu akulona lutho kodwa udlame nokuvinjelwa kwamalungelo enkululeko yokuzikhethela. Indoda ingabe iyayibiza ngokuthi uthando, lapho kukhona khona indawo yamabili, noma ikuqaphele ezintombi ezincane eziseduze ("Bonke bayiziphukuphuku futhi bazokufundisa kabi!") Futhi nabangane besilisa abathintekayo ("Badinga into eyodwa kuphela kuwe! "). Kodwa lapha kufanelekile ukuzindla. Ukungafuni ukuhlukanisa owesifazane wakhe nabanye abantu (futhi ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa kubangane, izihlobo noma osebenza nabo) kuveza kumuntu womnikazi owanike ilungelo lokulahla impilo yomunye umuntu. Abahambisani nothando, kodwa ngesifiso sokulawula, ukulawula nokuphatha ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa kwabantu abaseduze abangakwazi ukukhanyisa owesifazane mayelana nobugqila bakhe ngokuzithandela.
- Ukunciphisa. Le ndoda ikhula nge-zero yonke impumelelo yakho kanye nemfanelo. Umsebenzi wakho ubonakala kuye ukuzijabulisa kwabasenkulisa, futhi ukukhushulwa okusheshayo kwenzeke kuphela ngenxa yokuthi izinga lakho lomsebenzi laliyi-escalator yevila. Uyanciphisa amakhono akho ezomnotho, ubhebhethekisa okungekho okuncane futhi uphawula ukuvuthwa: "Yini enye ongayilindela kumfazi onesifo somswakama omile!" Futhi ukuzilibazisa kwakho kubonakala sengathi uchitha isikhathi, imali nesistimu yakhe yezinzwa. Ngeke avume ukuthi nguwe ohamba phambili ebhizinisini lakho, ngoba ngalesosikhathi kuzodingeka akuvumele ukuba ube umuntu oyedwa noma uqaphele ukungabi nalutho kwakho ngemuva kwakho. Umuntu owazi ukulingana kwakhe kunzima kakhulu ukuphatha.
- Ubukhwele obukhulu. I-stereotype eyayibekwe ngumphakathi "indoda inomona, ngakho-ke, ukuthandwa noma ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa" kuyinto ihlaya elibi. Noma ubani obhekene nokwesaba owesilisa onomhawu ngeke abeke uthando nomhawu ngokuhambisana naye. Umuntu akahawukeli lapho ethanda, kodwa lapho esaba ukuthi ngeke athandwe. Futhi lokhu kungaqiniseki akumniki yena noma ukuthula kwakho. Ngakho-ke, uma ukubambezeleka okuncane emsebenzini wakho kufana nokuhlukunyezwa, futhi umhlangano ongajwayelekile nomngane emgwaqweni - isizathu sokuba umyeni akuthumele kumtshina wamanga, uyazi, lokhu akusilo uthando. Kuyinto enzondayo. Umyeni uyakuzondayo ngokungabaza ngokwakho, ngokuba wesaba ukuncintisana nokuthi yini ongayifunda ngokukhona kwamadoda athande ngempela.
- Ukufaka umqondo wecala. Umqondo wecala yiyona into ebhubhisa kakhulu kunazo zonke emhlabeni. Ukuze ube njalo unecala, ngakho-ke, ukuhlale usatshiswa, ungaqiniseki futhi unesibopho. Yiqiniso, kuyinto elula kakhulu ukuba umphathi-muntu alawulwe "isisulu esiphelele" futhi abe nomuzwa wokuthi kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kubalulekile. Iwayini elibekiwe liphuza intando futhi liphendulela owesifazane abe yiwundlu, elizohlala lifuna isijeziso esivela ezandleni zomalusi walo, ngoba yilokho indlela yethu ye-psyche ehlelwe ngayo - noma yimuphi umlandu kufanele kube khona ukukhokha. Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unecala noma cha, ujwayele ukwenza izizathu zezinyathelo ozithathayo, ucele imvume futhi ubuke emehlweni enkosi yakho, ukufuna ukwamukelwa kwezenzo eziphelele ngisho nemicabango. Uma ungayeki ukwenza izizathu futhi ungathathi ilungelo lokuthi ulungile, isayensi yezobugqila nokulalela okungekho emthethweni kuyoba inkatho yakho.
- Uhlala eqinisile. Umuntu onjalo unemibono emibili kuphela: yena kanye nokungahambi kahle. Ngakho-ke, inkhulumomphendvulwano eyakhayo (futhi ngisho nokuphikisana okungcono ngenxa yeqiniso) ngeke isebenze naye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, kuphela ukuthi ulungile. Ngisho noma amaphutha akhe ecacile, ukuqaphela ukuthi kungaphansi kwesithunzi sakhe. Kodwa ingabe uyindoda ehlazisa ababuthaka futhi iyisebenzise ukuze ibonakale inamandla, inenjongo, ingcono? Umuntu onjalo kunzima ukujabulisa. Konke akwenzayo kuzomenza ahlasele ngonya, futhi uyomphoqa ukuba avuselele: izinwele zokulungiswa, iphepha lokunamathisela ukuze unamathisele, ingane ukuba ifundise kabusha, njll. Ukugxeka ngeke kubekezelelwe yilokho muntu. Iphelele, okusho ukuthi kuzodingeka uguquke njalo, uvuselele, uvuselele, uvuselele ukuwufanisa.