Ukukhulumisana okungalinganisani kuqinisile ngamazwi, ikakhulukazi yindlela yokuziphatha eyenza ukungaqiniseki kwethu kwangaphakathi. Phela, amagama angadukiswa, ngoba ukusakaza kusemandleni ethu. Kodwa ulimi lomzimba luchaza izinhlelo zokusayina. Abazivumeli ukulawula okugcwele kokwazi futhi ngaleyo ndlela baveze i-interlocutor yethu imizwa yethu kanye nezinhloso zethu. Yingakho akufanele uqaphele ukubaluleka kokuxhumana okungakhulumi.
Ukuze sifunde izinto eziyisisekelo zolimi lomzimba, kudingeka sibheke ngokusondelene kokubili ukuthinta kwethu kanye nezenzo zabanye, futhi sifunde ukulawula nokuwachaza. Ukwaziswa okuyisisekelo kolwazi oluyimfihlakalo olungelona amazwi, oluvame ukuboniswa imizwa, luzosisiza kulokhu.
Ukuvuleka . Ukubonakaliswa kwalo kuboniswa yizibonakaliso zokuvuleka njengokuthi, izandla, izintendeni phezulu, eziqondiswa ku-interlocutor, ihlale ihlotshaniswa neqiniso, ngobuqotho nokucaca kwezinhloso; ukuhlukumeza amahlombe; noma uthathe ijaji lakho phakathi nengxoxo. Buka izingane, zikhombisa izandla zabo ngokukhululekile uma ziziqhenya ngempumelelo yabo, futhi zifihle izandla zabo ngemuva kwemigqa noma emaphaketheni abo lapho benecala.
Ukuhlola. Ungazibonakalisa emisebenzini ye-polar: kusukela ohlelweni nokuphupha (uma umuntu efaka ikhanda ngesandla sakhe) ethembeni lokuzitholela (ukuxubha okukhulu kwezintende zezandla). Lokhu futhi kuyisenzo sokuhlola okucophelela - inhlayiya ihlala entendeni yesandla, futhi umunwe wenkomba usulele esihlathini, okusho ukuthi: "Ake sibone ukuthi uyakwazi yini." Inhloko ekhothamele ichaza ukunakwa kwesihloko sengxoxo kanye ne-interlocutor ngokukhethekile. Isikhathi sokwenza isinqumo sokugcina ngendondo ethize sibheka isikhunta futhi sisebenzise izibuko (gubha, ujikeleze, uqoqe isibambo shlaka).
Ukudideka - okuvezwe ukuphefumula okufushane okuzenzekelayo, ukuzwakalisa kuye. Ukuwela esifubeni, izandla eziqinile zibonisa umzamo wokuzivikela. Bakha uhlobo lwesithintelo okufanele luvikele umuntu emngciphekweni ongase abe khona noma oyingozi - lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi umuntu uzizwa engaphephile. Umzamo wangempela wokuvikelwa ushaya entanyeni ngesandla noma ulungisa i-hairstyle (kwabesifazane).
Ukuzithiba kubonakala ekuziphatheni okuphambene nomzimba omkhulu, oveza isifiso sokuqonda imizwa engaphezu kwemizwa kanye nemizwelo engalawuleki. Ibonakala emaphoyiseni asele ngemuva, i-convulsive shrug ngesandla esisodwa sebhasi noma engaphambili kwesinye, ukucindezelwa kwezingalo zokuzivikela noma emaphethelweni etafuleni. Lokhu kuyinto efana nezwe ngokulindela imiphumela yokuhlolwa okubalulekile noma ukulinda emnyango wodokotela wamazinyo.
Ukwesaba kuyisici sokuziphatha komuntu ongafihla ukucasuka kwakhe ngesihloko sengxoxo, ukuthunyelwa kwakhe, noma umxhumanisi wakhe. Kusukela kumuntu onjalo ungase uzwe ukukhwehlela, njengokuhlanza umphimbo wakho, futhi uphinde uzame ukuzama ukuphazamisa ingxoxo, ebonakala emdlalweni nge-lobe endlebeni yakho (ukukhala, ukupheqa) - uhlobo lomzamo wokuvimba ngokungazi lutho ukufaka ulwazi olungadingekile endlebeni yakho. Futhi, ukungezwani kwangaphakathi kwemizwa (ukungaqiniseki, ukwesaba) kungabonakaliswa ukunyakaza kwangaphandle kweminwe: ingane ithola umunwe, intsha iyabamba ngezipikili, umuntu omdala udlala ngepeni noma ipensela.
Ukubuyisa kuboniswa lapho umuntu eqala ukugaya, futhi efaka ikhanda ngezandla zakhe, ngokushaya ngonyawo noma ipeni, ukudweba ngokucophelela ephepheni, ngombono ongenalutho ongenalutho.
Ukuphakama (inzuzo ngaphezu kwe-interlocutor) kungase kuvezwe kakade ngombingelelo wokubambisana - indoda eqinisekisayo ishaya isandla sakho ngokuqinile, kuyilapho uyijika ngendlela yokuthi isandla sakhe siphakeme. Futhi, ukuphakama kubonakala esihlalweni esizimele "isikhala", izandla ephaketheni lapho ukhuluma, kubangela ukubukeka. Kodwa umuntu obuthakathaka unikeza isandla ukubingelela nge-palm up, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ukukhokhela umqondo wobuthakathaka, umuntu onjalo angathatha isichazamazwi "izandla ezinhlangothini", okuzomenza abe nokuphikiswa. Noma ukuthembela kokubili izandla etafuleni.
Uma isimo somuntu singokomzwelo singabuye sitshele ukuhlala kwakhe ngenkathi ehlezi, kanye nokuhlehlisa isikhathi ngenkathi ehamba. Ukuwela imilenze, ukufihla ngaphansi kwesihlalo sobukhosi kuyisibonakaliso sokungavikeleki, njengoba uhlezi emaphethelweni esihlalo, ubambe isikhwama emthonjeni wakho (uhlobo lwesithiyo phakathi kwakho nomunye umuntu.) Ukwesaba nokuhlukunyezwa kwangaphakathi kubonisa ukucindezeleka ngokweqile ngezikhali zesitulo sezingubo noma isikhwama sokugqoka. Inkulumo ebusweni engaphazamiseki isho ukuzithiba ngokweqile. Esikhundleni sokuhlezi "ukukhwabanisa" esihlalweni, ukuhlukaniswa noma ukubeka emilenzeni yomunye nomunye kubonisa ukungabi nhlonipho ku-interlocutor noma ukukhuliswa kabi.
I-Optimum iyindawo ekhululekile uma uhlezi: uthatha isisindo esihle, uncike emahlombe akho ngemuva, imilenze igxilise kancane eceleni noma ubambe ndawonye, faka izandla zakho ezihlalweni zesitulo noma emadolweni akho, ungaxhuma ama-lobes eminwe yakho.
Ngokuhamba, ungabona umuntu othembekile (umzimba oqondisiwe, ikhanda eliphakanyisiwe, isikhukhula esincane); ukuhamba okukhulu (ukushaya izithende zakhe) kuveza umuntu ongabaleki nabanye; ukujula nokunyathelisa izinyathelo ukuveza ukunganakwa kanye nokuzethemba. Ukuma okuhlosiwe, ikhanda elifihliwe emahlombe, ukuqhuma kwezinyawo, ngokuphambene nalokho, kudlulisa isithukuthezi nokucindezelwa komuntu.
Umuntu unemizuzwana embalwa nje ukukhiqiza umbono wokuqala, okuvame ukubaluleka ngokuqakathekile ngokudala imibono mayelana ne-interlocutor engajwayelekile.
Imithetho "eyinhloko yegolide" yengxoxo enhle:
- Gqoka ngokuhambisana nendawo lapho umhlangano uzobanjelwa khona: indawo yokudlala ayigqoke ama jeans, kodwa emihlanganweni yebhizinisi igqoka ngokuvuleka.
- Hlanganisa i-interlocutor ngenjabulo enhle nokumamatheka okumnandi.
- Ukubambisana kwebhizinisi - ungacindezeli isandla se-interlocutor ngesifo, futhi ungasigxili. Ukucindezela kufanele kuqiniseke futhi kulungiswe ngokulinganisela.
- Yamukela ukuvota okuvulekile: ungaweli izingalo noma imilenze, ungafihli ubuso bakho.
- Gcina ukuxhumana kwamehlo nomlingani wakho, kodwa ungayidluli. Ngesikhathi sokuxoxisana kwebhizinisi, abantu babheka ama-interlocutors abo 30-60% wengxoxo yonke. Ukuxhumana okubukwa isikhathi eside kunganikeza umbono wokuthi awunasithakazelo esihlokweni senkulumo, kodwa ku-interlocutor uqobo.
"Ungaphakamiseli izwi lakho, noma ngabe usabeka." Futhi ungazitholi ngokwakho ngaphansi kwekhala lakho. Khuluma kancane, ukubiza ngokucacile amagama.
- Bamba izenzo, ukugaya kakhulu ngokweqile kufakazela ukwesaba.
- Unganikezi imisindo engafanikiyo - ungalulazi impumulo yakho, ungakhukhumezi, ungaqhubeki ngokuhleka.
- Gcina izimiso zendawo zokusondelana. Wonke umuntu unomngcele wakhe wangaphakathi wokusondelana. Ngakho-ke, uma ungazazi kahle i-interlocutor, ungamthathi ngemuva, ungabamba izandla zakho futhi ungahlali eduze naye.
Indlela yokukhuluma ibalulekile futhi:
- Uma ubona umuntu okokuqala - uzethule. Khuluma ngokuzwakalayo, ukuze i-interlocutor ikhumbule.
- Ngokusho kwesimo, khetha futhi indlela yokukhuluma (isibalo sezwi, ivolumu, intonation), ngisho nesilulumagama - emva kokusebenzisa konke okushiwo ekhaya noma ngesikhathi sokuxoxisana kwebhizinisi.
- Gwema amagama angenakuguqulwa, amagama aphikisayo namazwibela okuthi "eee," "kahle," nabanye.
- Ungagxila kuwe kuphela, uma ufuna ukuhlonishwa - funda ukulalela umxhumanisi.
- Xoxa nabantu abangajwayelekile ngezihloko ezingathathi hlangothi (ukuzilibazisa, izilwane ezifuywayo, isimo sezulu), ukuze ungacindezeli ukuthula okucindezelayo. Akudingekile ukuba umuntu omaziyo kuqala aphendule ngokomzwelo mayelana nomphathi wakhe, osebenza naye emsebenzini, umngane noma izihlobo.
Uma unengxoxo ebalulekile lapho ikusasa lithembele khona, zama ukukhumbula isayensi elula yolwimi lomzimba futhi uthinte umxhumanisi hhayi kuphela ngamaqiniso aqinisekisayo nobufakazi, kodwa futhi usebenzise izindlela ezingekho emthethweni. Ukuthinta, ukubonakala kwesobuso, ukuma - lesi yisikhali sakho esingabonakali sokufeza umphumela oyifunayo.