Indlela yokwenza ukuze ingane ethandekayo neyifunayo ibe nomndeni ojabule ngokugcwele kanye nabazali bobabili? Ngakho akazange afunde ukuthi "isahlukaniso" sini?
Umsebenzi ukhululekile, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuzama ukuqondana, sebenzisa imigqa yokuziphatha ezimweni ezingavamile nezimo zokuphila, funda ukuveza izitatimende nezitatimende zabo ngendlela efanele, ehloniphekile neqondakalayo. Ukunqoba izinkinga ezingokwengqondo zomndeni osemusha kuzohambisana nokuthola nokuthuthukiswa kwamakhono kanye nesipiliyoni ekunakekeleni ingane. Ezingxenyeni ezinjalo zokuzilolonga, akekho ozowunikeza, indima yabazali kanye nempumelelo ebuhlotsheni bomndeni kufanele ibe ngokushesha futhi ngokuphelele.
Eqinisweni, kunzima kumama omncane nabomama ukuzivuselela ngokwengqondo: uma umntwana ezalwa enempilo, ke ukumnakekela akuyona inkimbinkimbi. Amaviki okuqala ahamba ngezinyawo ngokuhambisana nokuphazamiseka nokudideka, futhi kuphela lapho konke kwenzeka lapho umama osemncane efuna futhi enza imizamo bese ejwayela kalula indlela entsha yokuphila elawulwa ngumlawuli - umlingani omncanyana womndeni.
Ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha kusemuva, kodwa kubi ukuthi umama omncane ukhokha kancane kancane umlingani wakhe womphefumulo. Isizathu asigcini nje ngocansi, ukunganaki, oshade naye unomqondo omkhulu kakhulu kulabo abashadile, lapho umama nomntwana kuphela. Kukholelwa ukuthi indoda inomhawu ngomkakhe omusha. Kodwa lokhu akukona umhawu, kodwa ukuphazamiseka. Akaqondi kahle ukuthi kungani bejabule kakhulu lapho behla noma i-croak, ngoba zonke izingane zenza kanjalo, kodwa nazo zilele futhi zidle. Futhi lokhu kuvamile ngokuphelele. Kuyadingeka ukwazi ukuthi umbono kanye nesimo sengqondo sopapa kumntanakho akufani nakancane nomama. Futhi lokhu akusona isizathu sokufutheka.
Kulesi simo, kungcono ukujabulisa izinwele zakho ezigcwele nogogo, uzoqonda futhi aziqonde lokhu. Engxoxweni nomyeni wakhe, kungcono ukuqala ukubuza ngomsebenzi wakhe kanye nezindaba bese uqala ingxoxo ngomntwana wakhe kanye nempumelelo yakhe ngosuku. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma udinga usizo nopapa, ungambuza ngakho, kodwa isicelo kufanele senziwe ngokucacile. Ubaba omncane kufanele avame ukuphatha nokuqonda ukuziphatha komkakho, ukulalela njalo, ukujabula, injabulo. Abesifazane bane-biology enjalo. Uma isimo sengqondo esibhekene nosana singasabeki futhi singanaki, lo wesifazane ubona lokhu njengokuntuleka kothando ngaye, uzizwa enganandaba futhi ehlukumeza.
Eqinisweni, ubaba osemncane akafuni ukukhathalela, ngemuva kokuzalwa kwengane, ubhekana nezinkinga ezifanayo zengqondo njengomama wakhe. Inzima yukuthi lo muntu ufikela konke, uqobo luye lwamncisha ukuhlakanipha, ngokushintshanisa ubuchopho kuphela. Bonke abantu abakuzungezile bathi njalo umama omncane udinga ukuqonda nokusekelwa, kodwa ungakhohlwa ngoPapa, udinga ukwesekwa okufanayo okuvame ukukhohlwa. Ngemuva kwalokho, naye uhamba nesikhathi sokuguquka, eshintsha impilo yakhe yansuku zonke emkhakheni omusha wemfanelo yomndeni wonke, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu kuye kunomfazi.
Umama osemusha kufanele ngokuqinisekile athole isikhathi sokuphumula kwakhe, ahlehlise zonke izinto eziphuthumayo, futhi kukhona izinto ezinjalo, kufanele ubheke ngokucophelela, futhi umhlangano womyeni ovela emsebenzini uzogcwala injabulo. Inketho ekahle kuyoba uma ibhizinisi elihlehlisiwe lihanjiswa kuze kusihlwa, kanti ngenkathi umama ematasa nopapa uzothola isikhathi sokuxoxa nengane.
Emva kokubeletha kwengane, ukuxazulula izinkinga zocansi kunendawo ebalulekile emndenini. Yiqiniso, phakathi nosuku umfati osemusha ephelile futhi kusihlwa usuke ekhona kakade i-lemon esaphila, kodwa akukho lutho olumvimbela ukuba atshele umyeni wakhe ukuthi nguye kuphela, oyifunayo futhi othandekayo, ukumbumbana nokumanga, esikhundleni sokucasuka. Umyeni kufanele akhulume ngothando lwakhe ngaye njalo ngangokunokwenzeka, ukuthi uyambonga ngomntwana onesipho. Izimo ezivamile lapho umlingani ehlisa khona ukukhashelwa komyeni wakhe, uzizwa, ngoba uzinikeza umntwana, futhi "umthwalo wokuzihlanganisa" awunaso isikhathi nesifiso. Kodwa ukuthengiswa ngokushesha noma kamuva kuzosaphazamisa umshado. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lo mama osemusha uzobuyela ekuphileni okukhuthele emphakathini, bese umbuzo uwukuthi, ingabe uzofuna "ukuziphindiselela"?
Esikhathini esidlule, indima yabashadile yayingashintshi iminyaka eminingi, isizukulwane esidala sithatha iqhaza empilweni yabantu abasha, sigcwalisa izimpilo zabo ngezeluleko ezingapheli nokusizwa mahhala. Azikho izinkolelo ezedlule, manje kungaba khona ubaba ngesikhathi sokubeletha, angenza umsebenzi wakhe wendlu. Futhi lokhu ngeke kusimangaze noma ubani.