Uma indoda ishintshile, indlela yokuziphatha ngayo

Kwabesifazane abaningi, ukuzonda umyeni othandekayo, kubangelwa inhlekelele nokuwa kwemibono eminingi nethemba endleleni yabo yokuphila yansuku zonke. Kwabesifazane, ukuhlubuka kubhekwa njengokungathembeki nokukhohlisa. Kodwa ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthi abesifazane bavame ukuthethelela ukukhaphela kubayeni babo futhi baqhubeke nokuhlala nabo phambili. Ngenxa yokubekezela okunjalo kwabesifazane, imishado eminingi ayiqedi isehlukaniso.

Futhi udinga ukuthethelela ukukhashelwa komyeni wakhe nokuthi yini okufanele ukwenze uma umyeni eshintshile, indlela yokuziphatha? Ukuphinga kungase kube okuhlukile. Kukhona nje ukuthandana phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane ohamba ngaphezu kwalokho okuvunyelwe, lokhu kwenzeka kaningi ezindaweni zokubhuka noma ekuhambeni kwebhizinisi. Futhi kwenzeka ukuthi inoveli ikhula ibe imizwa eqinile futhi owesifazane uba i-breaker. Noma kunjalo, udinga ukukala konke futhi uxoxe ngale nkinga nomyeni wakho bese uthola ubuhlobo.

Uma uthola ukuthi umyeni wakho ushintshile wena, kufanele uqiniseke ngakho. Ungesabi, kufanele uzigcinele esandleni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani. Futhi kunoma yikuphi, ungenzi amahlazo, ngoba ukuziphatha okunjalo ngeke kuholele lutho olungcono, kodwa kuzokwenza kube nzima kakhulu isimo.

Uma ufunde ukuthi umyeni wakho uthanda omunye wesifazane futhi ufuna ukuhlala naye, khona-ke akukho izingxoxo naye ngeke zikusize. Ungaqala ukuphindiselela kumyeni wakho, ngoba ngokuvamile ukuphindisela akuholeli kunoma yini enhle futhi uzobuya kuwe njenge-boomerang.

Kodwa uma uthola ukuthi umyeni wakho ushintshile wena, kodwa akafuni ukulahlekelwa nguwe futhi abhubhise umndeni wakho, kufanele ucabange ukuthi wamcindezela ukuba akunikele. Ingabe kufanele uhlale phansi ucabange ngezizathu? Mhlawumbe, awunaki umyeni wakho kancane, umlalele ucansi. Noma wamqapha ngokuqinile futhi akazange amvumele ukuba azinyathele ngokwakhe! Kunamaphutha amaningi esikwenzayo, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Futhi la maphutha kufanele uwaqonde futhi aqonde.

Kuthiwani uma owesifazane ekhohliswa ngumyeni wakhe? Yiqiniso, ungamane uthathe futhi ushiye umyeni wakho noma ufunde ukuhlala nokuphinga kwakhe futhi ulungise ukuhluleka ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kodwa okokuqala, zibuze umbuzo, kodwa udinga ubuhlobo obunjalo futhi kufanele uhlupheke zonke lezi zinkinga? Abesifazane abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ukukhaphela kumyeni wakhe kungathethelelwa, ngoba uyindoda futhi ngaphandle komuntu bayokuthola kunzima ukuhlala. Futhi abanye besifazane bathethelela ukungathembeki futhi basindise umndeni kuphela ngenxa yabantwana, ukuze izingane zinganqatshwa ukufudumala kukababa.

Kukhona abesifazane abahlala bekhononda ngokungathembeki komyeni wakhe kanye nokungaphumeleli kwakhe. Kulesi simo, umfazi nomyeni bahlala ekugcineni. Abafuni ukuthuthukisa ubuhlobo futhi bahlala besesimweni esicindezelekile.

Kungcono uma ugxila empilweni yakho siqu futhi ungenza impilo yakho ibe yinkimbinkimbi futhi ithakazelise. Kumele ufunde ukujabulela impilo bese uzama ukusindisa ubuhlobo bakho nakho konke okukuxhumanisa nomyeni wakho.

Kodwa uma ubona ukuthi umyeni wakho usemisiwe, ukushiya omunye wesifazane, kungcono ukumvumele ahambe nomoya ozolile. Ungamceli ukuba ahlale futhi amsongele, ngoba uzokushiya futhi ashintshe umbono wakhe ngawe noma kunjalo. Kodwa uma ubona ukuthi umyeni wakho uyabanqikaza futhi engazi ukuthi yini efuna, khona-ke udinga ukuziphatha ngokucophelela futhi ungenzi izenzo ezingenangqondo ezingenangqondo.

Ngokuvamile lapho uhlukanisana nomyeni wakho ngemva kokungathengi, ungaba nemiphumela emihle ebuhlotsheni bakho. Uma uhlukanisa, indoda iyaqala ukuqonda ukuthi ayikwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle komndeni futhi ngaphandle kwakho. Futhi angabuyela kuwe futhi akucele ukuthi umthethelele. Futhi lapha konke ubuhlobo bakho buzoxhomeka kuwe kuphela, futhi mhlawumbe, uma umthethelela ngokungathengi, ubuhlobo bakho buyoba ngcono nakakhulu kunangaphambili.

Nguwe kuphela onganquma uma udinga ubudlelwane obengeziwe. Manje uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma umyeni wakho eshintshile, nokuthi kufanele uziphatha kanjani.