Ezingqondweni zethu, iningi lombono elibekiwe, ngokusho ukuthi yilowo nalowo wesifazane oye waba ngumuntu omdala amaphupho okuba owesifazane oshadile, kodwa amadoda, ngokuphambene nalokho, azama ukugwema ubudlelwane bomshado nawo wonke amandla abo. Eqinisweni, isimo asiyona into encane kakhulu futhi njengokwenziwa komkhuba, kunamanani amaningi amantombazane ahlala kahle emishadweni yomphakathi noma engekho ngaphandle komyeni. Kuloluhlu lwezehlakalo ezifunwayo, abesifazane abanjalo abanalo umshado onengubo emhlophe, i-limousine emnyama, ihhovisi lokubhalisa kanye nendandatho emunwe ongashiwo ngamagama. Yebo, yebo, ngisho nethuba lokufisa kangaka isitembu eziningi epasipoti akuzijabulisi.
Yisiphi isizathu sokuthi amantombazane athuthukise umbono ofanayo ngomshado emndenini nakho konke okulandela lokhu? Ake sizame ukuqonda ukuthi kungani amanye amantombazane engafuni ukushada.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani amantombazane "enesizungu" enjabulo
Kuvela ukuthi izizathu zokuthi kungani amanye amantombazane engasheshi ukuzibopha ngomshado akuzona ezimbalwa.
1. Ukushiya emaceleni
Kuvela ukuthi abanye besifazane abaphuthumayo ukushada ngoba abafuni ukubona othandekayo eduze kwabo - abavumelani ukuzama yonke inhlobo yezinkohlakalo ezihlobene nomshado wendabuko. Kungenxa yokugqoka okumhlophe, izivakashi eziningi, ihholo lokugubha kanye nokugcina amasiko amadala , njengokuthi, ukugeza imilenze yomkhwekazi, noma ukubopha umcengezi ekhanda lomlobokazi, manje oseba ngumfazi.
Abaphikisi bomshado onjalo bayakujabulela ukusho ukuthi "yebo" wabo esimweni sothando, futhi abakhathaleli ukuthi bafika kubhalisi nge-jeans, noma bazohlela umcimbi womshado ongaphandle kwedolobha ogwini lwabo. Into esemqoka yukuthi ukugubha kwakungabantu abasondelene kakhulu, okungukuthi, ngencazelo, akunakwenzeka kakhulu.
2. Ukungaqiniseki ngokufaneleka kwesinqumo sabo
Kukhona namantombazane angaqiniseki ngokuphelele ngabalingani bawo. Bangakwazi ukuhlangana nabo iminyaka eminingana, bahlala emshadweni womphakathi, kodwa ukuhlelwa ngokusemthethweni kobudlelwane akukaxazululwa.
Uma kwenzeka ikakhulukazi abangane abanentshisekelo, abajwayelene nabo nezihlobo bebahlupha ngemibuzo, abesifazane abazithola besesimweni esinjalo bavame ukuhleka lokho abakushoyo akubi kakhulu nokuthi kungani kufanele bachithe ipasipoti ehlanzekile enesiqiniseko esithile.
Njengomkhuba wokubonisa, lezi zibhangqa emva kwesikhathi esithile zisahlukana. Futhi asinakusho ukuthi kwakukhona uthando phakathi kozakwethu: imizwa ikhona, kepha owesifazane anganquma ukuzethemba yena kanye nezingane zakhe zesikhathi esizayo kule ndoda ethile, yebo, uthando olulodwa alwanele.
3. Okuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile komzali
Abazali bahlukanisile lapho indodakazi yabo ineminyaka emibili ubudala, ubaba akahlotshaniswa nengane esevele esekhulile. Ubaba uhlukumeza utshwala, futhi ngezikhathi ezithile uphakamisa isandla sakhe kunina. Ngenxa yalokho, owesifazane osukela esemncane ufundisa ingane yakhe indlela yokuzibonakalisa lapho wonke ama-muzhiks eqhathaniswa nabakwa-marmariants, noma kwenziwa izitatimende ezimbi nakakhulu. Ngokwemvelo, ithonya lomndeni emntwaneni likhulu, futhi uma engaboni isibonelo esihle sokuxhumana phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, umqondo wokuthi umshado awuyona into nje yokubambisana kwabantu ababili abahlukunyezwayo futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo izingane zihlezi phansi.
Enye indlela engakwazi ukuyibeka emthonjeni wentombazane engalungile mayelana nomshado ngumndeni womzali, lapho wonke umuntu ehlala khona, unina nobaba abahlaziyi, kodwa namanje abakhulumisana, bangena ezindabeni zesigamu sabo sesibili. Futhi ngenxa yalokho: ingane ayiqondi ukuthi kukhona uthando, noma ngisho uthando phakathi kwabazali.
Ngokwemvelo, intombazane, ebona phambi kobuhlobo obunjalo, isaba ukuphinda ibuyele ekufeni komama wayo futhi ingasheshi ukushada.
4. Futhi ngaphandle komyeni kuhle
Kukhona umxhumanisi wezocansi ezihlelekile, eqiniseka ukuthi umsebenzi womuntu kuphela ukuqhubeka komndeni, futhi lona wesifazane akayena umshini wokufakelwa ongakwazi ukuthatha indlalifa.
Laba besifazane bavame ukuzimela ngokuzimela, zama ukwakha umsebenzi wabo, bahlakulele kuzo zonke izici, bathole okungenani amadoda. Ngaphezu kwalokho, bakusho ngokucacile ukuthi kuyabiza kakhulu ukuvumelana nomshado nomuntu ongekho omuhle wezocansi eziqinile, balungele ukubeletha nokukhulisa ingane ngokwabo, ngaphandle kokuthembela kunoma ubani.
5. Iphutha egazini
Mhlawumbe, zonke izintombi ezingashadile ngaphambi kweminyaka engama-20 kuya ku-22 zihlaselwe ngezikhathi ngezihlobo nezihlobo zakhe zakudala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuvama kwanda ngekhulu labesifazane abangashadile. Okuyinhloko yokuhlaselwa kanje: Wonke umuntu ufuna ukwazi ukuthi uzokwenzelwa nini emshadweni, abazali bathokoza ngokubamba abazukulu babo, futhi osebenza nabo bomama basebenze nazo zonke izindlela zabo bazama ukuzenza zingabantwana babo.
Abesifazane basabela ekuhlaselweni okunjalo ngezindlela ezihlukene: othile uhleka, abanye bawela e-stupor, abanye baphendula ngokuqondile ukuthi bazoshada kuphela ngentando futhi lapho kufika isikhathi. Abamele abahlukene bezocansi abalungile bavele bekulungele ukuqhuma ngokulala, bezwa imibuzo enjalo ekhelini labo. Ukukhishwa kwesimo esibucayi, sebekulungele ukuthi okungenani bahlukumeze "abahlakaniphile kahle," kepha njengokwesikhulu, badidanise nabo, "endlebeni yakho" bavuma ukuma kwabo okungahambi kahle.
6. Umndeni uyisimiso futhi akukho okuthakazelisayo
Abesifazane ngabanye abangasheshe bashade banesiqiniseko sokuthi impilo yabo eshadile iyobaphendulela emadodenikazi amahle anesikhathi esiningi sokwenza ibhizinisi labo, abanikazi bezindlu abahlale bekhathele, izwe elizungezile livale izitsha zasekhishini, imishini yokuwasha kanye nezinye "izintelezi" ukuphila.
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi imilenze yalesi sikhangiso ikhula kangakanani, ungayi kude: buka amama wakho nogogo, abavame ukungakhohlwa ngokuheha kwabo besifazane, beba "umgcini wezindlu", abathintekayo izindlu kanye nemindeni babenakekelwa ngokuphelele. Ukuphendukela kwabesifazane abanjengokweqile, amantombazane amancane ayaqonda ukuthi ngeke afune ukuba nezicathulo zabo, futhi wonke amandla azama ukuphikisana nomzuzu womshado.
7. Ngeke ngizinikele nganoma yini.
Lesi sizathu sokungafuni ukuya kubhalisi sikhulunywa ngabesifazane abazama ukufinyelela kwezinye izindawo eziphakeme. Bakholelwa ukuthi umnakekeli nomndeni bayinto engavumelani, ngakho-ke kuyodingeka ukuthike okuthile.
Mhlawumbe eminye imindeni yilokho okwenzekayo, kodwa ngokukhulu kunabo bonke abaqeqeshiwe kumele bahlale bekulungele ukucela amalungelo abo.
8. Ubuhlobo obungaphumelelanga ngemuva kwakho
Ngokuvamile, ngisho nokuqasha komshado kuyesaba amantombazane asebevele ebudlelwaneni obusemthethweni, okwakubangele ubuhlungu nobuhlungu kuphela. Yebo, abesifazane abanjalo, behlulekile, bahlangana namadoda futhi bavumelana nomshado womphakathi, kodwa isitembu epasipoti yabo siyesabisa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngisho nengxoxo mayelana nomshado ingabangela ukuphendula okungalungile kakhulu.
Kusobala ukuthi lokhu kwenzekani: amantombazane akafuni ukungena emfuleni ofanayo kabili, ekholelwa ukuthi umuntu omusha angeke abe ngcono kunomyeni wokuqala.
Uma ungasheshi ukushada, zama ukuzihlolisisa, futhi, mhlawumbe, amanye amaphuzu amaningana ayokwenezelwa kulokhu kulesi sihloko.