Yiqiniso, okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, uthando lento yonke kufanele luqale ngokuzithanda. Uma sizidela ngokwethu, khona-ke ekuphileni kwethu noma emisebenzini yethu, akukho okuhle okuzovela kuwo. Noma kunjalo, i-narcissism kanye nokuzithanda kukhona izinto ezimbili ezihlukene.
I-Narcissism ihlukaniswe yaba izinhlobo eziningana
Ngokuqinisekile, ngamunye wethu emgwaqweni uhlangana nabantu abathandayo, futhi ukubona, awudingi ukuba namakhono akhethekile noma ukuba uchwepheshe - abonakala kude. Bahamba ngokuzethemba, baphakamisa amakhanda abo phezulu futhi amahlombe abo aqondiswe. Ngokuvamile, abantu abanjalo banakekele ngokucophelela ukuncelisa futhi bahlale bezisebenzela ngokwabo - kuthuthukiswa. Baqiniseka ukuthi kumele babe ngabokuqala futhi abokuqala kukho konke futhi njalo, ngakho-ke bahlala bengavamile.
Abantu abanjalo banobungane nomuntu wonke, abangenabugovu, zama ukusiza omunye umuntu uma bewudinga (emva kwakho konke, bazokwazi ukuthola ama-pluses amaningi!), Kodwa kuphela uma usizo lungaphikisani nezinqumo zabo nezimiso zabo. Bahle kakhulu ekuzigxeni, ngakho-ke bangakwazi ukuthuthukisa isimo sabo kuphela.
Abantu abanjalo bahlala bethakazelisa kakhulu ekukhulumisaneni, ngezinye izikhathi baze bafune ukufana nabo futhi bawasekele, naye ngifuna ukukhuluma naye ukuwalandela.
Izinga lesibili labantu abathandana nabo banikezwa abantu abazinakekelayo, bahlale bezethemba ngokwabo, yikuphi isimo okungeke kwenzeke, futhi bangabonwa kude, kodwa uma kuqhathaniswa nohlobo lokuqala lwabantu abaphila ngokulandelana, ke kula maholidi yingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yokuphila. Ngezinye izikhathi babonisa ubuvila. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangubani, akukho mkhawulo wokulandelana, bakholelwa ukuthi akekho ongcono kunabo emhlabeni. Ngokuvamile, bodwa.
Abantu abanjalo abanobungane ikakhulukazi futhi abakhulumi nabantu, banombuthano wabo wokuxhumana ohlangabezana nezimiso zabo. Abathandi ukugxeka! Bangakwazi yini ukusiza okulandelayo? Konke kuxhomeke ukuthi yiziphi izinyawo ezavuka - isimo sengqondo.
Kanye neqembu lokuqala lokuqala labantu abathandana nabo, lokhu, njengomthetho, baphumelele uma kwenzeka bengenabuvi ngokuphelele, okwenzeka ngokungajwayelekile, kodwa kwenzeka!
Uhlobo lwesithathu lwabantu ngabantu abathanda kakhulu kangangokuthi ngezinye izikhathi abakwazi ukuzibiza ngokuthi intengo! Yebo, phakathi kwabantu abanjalo kukhona ochwepheshe abahle kakhulu futhi ochwepheshe abayinto enhle kakhulu, kodwa bonke bazizwa bebachwepheshe!
Abantu abanjalo banzima kakhulu, bahlale befaka umbono wabo, njalo abathandi konke, abakwazi ukulalela umbono womunye umuntu. Bakholelwa ukuthi wonke umuntu obazungezile ngabantu abangakufanelekeli izinga labo, kodwa yikuphi ukukhathazeka okusebenzayo nokuphila komuntu siqu - akukho muntu olinganayo futhi ongashintshayo lapha!
Ngabantu abanjalo cishe akunakwenzeka ukuxhumana-kunzima kakhulu, ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuthola ulimi oluvamile! Phela, ukuziphatha kwalaba bantu kuyamangalisa ngempela. Usizo banganikeza, kuphela uma kuzobazuzisa kubo! Kubantu abanjalo ukuthi leli gama lithi "Kulula futhi abantu bazokufinyelela kuwe!" Uyavela.
Umuntu ngamunye uqobo lwakhe unquma ukuthi kungakanani okubonisa imizwa yakhe, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala ngakwesokunene kakhulu futhi umqondo awunikeli kahle.
Zithande wena - isiphambano esinzima
Izakhamuzi eziningi zengqondo zithi uthando kufanele lube khona njengesimo esibalulekile sokuphatha kahle umhlaba wokupheka. Kodwa abantu abaningi abaphambene ngokuphelele banquma uthando lwabo ngokwabo, ngenkathi belidideka nge-narcissism.
Ngezinye izikhathi leli phutha liyabulala abantu abaningi, amadoda nabesifazane abaningi, abafana namantombazane abangeke bakwazi ukuthola ulimi oluvamile ngabanye abantu, kepha futhi kaningi abakwazi ukuzithola empilweni. Abantu abathandayo abaqondi ukuthi benzani okungalungile futhi kungani abantu bephenduka kubo.
Kodwa sesivele sicabange ukuthi lokho kungukuthi uthando, kodwa luyini uthando ngokwakho?
Okokuqala, njengokuthanda komunye umuntu, lesi sifiso nokukwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obuvumelanako nawe ngenkathi uthola kulolu injabulo. Futhi sesivele sithola inhlonipho, ikhono lokuphila ngokuvumelana nokuqonda. Kunzima kakhulu ukukwenza ngokwakho - emva kwakho konke, ukwakha ubuhlobo nomunye umuntu kulula kakhulu. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi uthando olwanele wena ngokwakho.
Abantu abakuzungezile, bahlale befinyelela kumuntu onjalo bese beyikhetha, ngoba ukuvumelana ngokwayo kuyathandekayo futhi kuyathandeka. Kodwa i-narcissism ingafaniswa nesiphambano esinzima, esithwala abantu bonke impilo yabo futhi angacabangi ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuyiqeda.