Umshado kanye nobuhlobo bomdala phakathi kwabashade

Indoda eneminyaka emaphakathi enomphakathi onesimo esiphakeme sezenhlalakahle, futhi eduze nentombazane encane enekhanda ekhanda lakhe ... Noma isithombe esihlukile. Ungumfazi ovuthiwe ovuthiwe oye wavuka emkhakheni wezemisebenzi, futhi useyinsizwa esanda kuphumelela esikhungweni. Ingabe umehluko weminyaka uthinta injabulo yomndeni? Indlela yokulondoloza ubuhlobo, uma omunye walaba ababili ebelethwe kancane kancane? Umshado kanye nomehluko phakathi nesikhathi sabashadile - okuyiqiniso esikhathini sethu.

Umshini wesikhathi awubuyeli emuva

Yiqiniso, injabulo yesilinganiso samanani ayikwazi ukudonsa. Yebo, ukungezwani kuyenzeka phakathi kwabashadile, uma imibono yabo empilweni ayihambisani. Kodwa, ngokusho kwezingqondo zengqondo, imibhangqwana enemifikiswano eneminyaka engu-7 noma ngaphezulu ivame ukuhlukaniswa kunabantu abaphakathi kwegebe elidala elingabalulekile kakhulu.

Yini eyingozi lokhu kusikhombisa? Igebe lesizukulwane lithinta. Umyeni nomfazi bafunde amanani ahlukene amasiko, futhi bangase bangaqondi ulimi lomunye nomunye. Isibonelo, indoda - isizwe samaperestroika yama-80, lapho umoya wezinguquko wanikeza inkululeko inkululeko ngemuva kokucindezela kanzima kusuka embusweni. Ukwethembeka kwakhe kwakhula ngesikhathi se-capitalistic zasendle zasemazweni angu-90 - inkathi yezinye izinto eziza kuqala: ukusinda nokuthola imali. Ukuphazamiseka ebuhlotsheni, umshado kanye nokwahlukana phakathi kweminyaka yobudala bomshado kuzokujula nokuhlukana kwemigomo yokuphila. Ngineminyaka engamashumi amabili ngifuna ukufunda, ukufunda izinto ezintsha. Ziyakwazi ukuguquguquka, zivumelane kalula nezimo ezingezona ezijwayelekile futhi ziningi kakhulu. Abaneminyaka engamashumi amane bazama ukuzinza. Bahlakaniphile futhi bavilapha. Ingabe kulula ukuqhubeka nokukhula kwentsha? Kunalokho, hhayi ngempela. Umkhawulo uba ukulahlwa kwabathandekayo imishado enjalo ayivumi ukuvunywa. I-Skew imibukiso yabantu abadlulayo-ukuhleka kwezihlobo kungenakwenzeka ukuba kubangele isimo sezulu esivunguvungu endlini, kodwa ukunganaki kwabazali (wakhe) kungabhubhisa i-idyll yomndeni. Enye ukuxhumeka ukungahambisani ngokomzimba. Umlingani omncane noma ovuthiwe angaphoyisa komunye, uzizwe ukukhangwa ngokocansi kuze kube yiminyaka efanayo.


Kodwa-ke , ngokusho kochwepheshe, kukhona abantu abangahlali ngokwengqondo ngesikhathi sabo. Ngeminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu, bahlala phansi, banengqondo, bathanda amasiko endulo. Kubo, Yebo, oshade naye noma oshade naye 40+ uvumelana ngokuphelele. Futhi, ngokuphambene nalokho, kukhona abantu abancane kakhulu emphefumulweni kunabo ontanga. Bakhululekile kakhulu ukuxhuma isiphetho nomuntu omncane. Ngendlela, futhi umehluko eminyakeni yobudala ubonakala indoda kanye nowesifazane ngokuhlukile. Indoda ingaba neminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ubudala kunomkakhe, futhi yena nezihlobo zakhe bayosabela ngokuthula kulo mshado. Kukholelwa ukuthi ladies abalahlekelwe ukuheha ngaphambi kwamadoda - futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi igebe eminyakeni kuyobe smoothed. Ekusebenzeni kwezazi ze-psychologist eKieya kwakukhona icala lapho owesifazane osekhulile kunomuntu iminyaka embalwa nje kuphela, izihlobo zakhe azange zamukele. Yebo, futhi lo mfana wayenamahloni okuncane ukuthi intandokazi yakhe ngumuntu omdala, nakuba kusukela ekuboneni kwezazi zengqondo, bangontanga. Ngisho noma oshade naye esekhulile kunomkakhe iminyaka engu-10 (kodwa akukho!), Igebe lesikhathi phakathi kwabo angeke lizwe. Kodwa uma umyeni "ephuma" umyeni wakhe iminyaka engu-6-7 - lokhu kuyinto ephawulekayo kakhulu.


Yini eyakulethela nami ndawonye

Kungani abantu abanjalo beguqula? Kukholelwa kakhulu ukuthi umlingani ovuthiwe uphethwe amandla amaningi "okuluhlaza", enenhliziyo encane, ehlala emshadweni futhi umahluko phakathi kweminyaka nomlingani. Intsha - izuzwa isipiliyoni sempilo, ithola ukwesekwa. Bobabili bakhonyana ngokomqondo. Akukhipha eceleni: babehlanganiswe umuzwa ojulile. Kodwa ngokuvamile imishado engalingani yamukelwa yilabo abasebuntwaneni abazange basinde noma bengadluli inqubo yokuhlukanisa (abazali). Isibonelo, ubaba washiya indodakazi yami - washiya umama wangomunye owesifazane. Noma umzali wayeqinile kakhulu, nendodakazi elawulwa kakhulu. Uma ekhula, uzocabangela ngokucophelela umlingani omdala kakhulu kunabo - isabelo sengqondo sikayise. Kungaba lula ngaye ukuba akhulume namadoda amasha kakhulu kakhulu - akayena ngokomzwelo kodwa avuthiwe. Ingabe lo mfana naye wabhujiswa nguMama? Noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, akahlali nendoda eyayithandekayo kuye?
Uzokwakha ubuhlobo "nomama ongokwengqondo" - owesifazane ovuthiwe kakhulu kunalokho. Ekuhlanganyeleni abalingani abasha abaqhubezelayo futhi abanganelisekile ngosayizi wesibalo noma wesifazane. Ngokwesibonelo, indoda ihlukanisile nomkakhe, ayiboni ukuthi ibona indodakazi yakhe, futhi ithola "cishe indodakazi," insizwa encane. Njalo le nkosikazi. Uma indodana yakhe endala ikwakha impilo yokuzimela (futhi isengumama!), Owesifazane angase afune "indodana" yengqondo, umyeni osemusha.


Izinyunyana ezinjalo , ngokwezazi ze-psychologists, zihlala isikhathi esifushane. Owesifazane angaba nesithukuthezi ngendima yendodakazi noma umama, nomuntu - ubaba noma indodana encane. Futhi uma kungenasithakazelo esivamile kanye nemizwa ejulile, umshado uzokwehlukana. Umndeni oqine kakhulu, lapho ubudlelwane bakhelwa khona ngohlobo lwe "uthisha-umfundi". Le mishado ivame ukuphetha phakathi kwabantu abahlakaniphile: isivele izuze udumo, futhi iqala nje uhambo lwayo. Intombazane iba yindoda kanye nomuzi, kanye nobhala. Futhi ugqugquzela ukwakha imisebenzi emisha, futhi iqoqa ukudala kwe-genius kwikhompyutha. Indoda izoxhunywa kumsizi onjalo. Ikakhulukazi uma eseshadile okwesibili, futhi oshade naye wokuqala abe ngumphikisana nomqondo omuhle noma nje ozimele futhi ozimele, akazange asekele imisebenzi yakhe.

Abantu abavuthiwe ekudoneni okuncane kanye nezinkumbulo zothando zobusha. Intombazane ingakhumbuza umnumzane ohloniphekile othandweni lwakhe lokuqala, futhi umfana uzothuthukisa emphefumulweni wenkosikazi kaBalza ekukhunjweni kwakhe. Ubuhlobo obunjalo buyakhelwe ekucaleni. Ngokushesha, abathandi bayazi ukuthi: isikhathi asikwazi ukubuyiselwa emuva, iphutha lingaphambi kwabo, empeleni abakhethiweyo babo bangabanye. Futhi lezi zibini ngokuvamile ziyahlukahluka. Isibonelo somndeni sibuye sibe ngxabano enzima ngokuqondene nemishado ehlukene no-N. Ubaba usekhulile kunomama cishe iminyaka eyishumi nambili, baphila umphefumulo nomphefumulo. Indodana yabo, cishe, ifuna "ingxenye" ​​yayo ibe yincane kakhulu, futhi indodakazi yakhe izophupha ngomfazi ovuthiwe. Mhlawumbe umshado wabo uzophinde uphumelele uma ukuhlangana komzwelo nomlingani kwenzeka.


Kungakhathaliseki ubaba noma umyeni

Amatshe angaphansi kwamanzi ayingane enjalo ukungabi nokuxhumana. Ngokuvamile indoda iqukethe insizwa encane, ikhokhela izifundo zayo nezokuzilibazisa. Ngokuvamile, ngokuvamile ababonwa. Uyanyamalala emsebenzini, u-unikeza isikhathi esengeziwe kubangani bakhe. Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana kungagwenywa uma intombazane ifunda ukuhlala izithakazelo zomyeni wayo.

Kodwa kuyinto efiselekayo kumuntu ukuba angabambezeli, ukuzama ukubheka umhlaba ngamehlo wabantu abasha. Ukuze wenze lokhu, hamba, akulula: indoda emva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu nantathu ngokuvamile ayifuni ukushintsha imikhuba yakhe. Nokho, uma lokhu kwenzeka, khona-ke umvuzo uzoba ukuqonda okufanayo emndenini. Ukwesaba okuyimfihlo komlingani ovuthiwe kungaba ukulahlekelwa kwamandla wesilisa. Ngokuvamile kubonakala kuye: akagculisi izifiso zobulili zomfazi osemusha, uzoyishintshanisa ngomthandi omncane. Kukhona umhawu, ukusola. Owesifazane kufanele aqonde imizwa yekhethiweyo wakhe, zama ukumbonisa okuhlukile. Uma kunesidingo, lo mbhangqwana ungafaka isicelo kwisazi sengqondo


Nsizwa, mema ukuba udansa!

Inkosikazi enkulu kakhulu kunaye ethembekile iyoba amathuba okuvakashela i-beauty salon, ubukele isisindo. Lokhu kuhlanganisa. Kodwa iyokwamukelwa

ubale izikhathi ezingaki azinakekela ngayo i-odnodokam yakhe. Lokhu kuziphatha kuvame ukucasula. Futhi noma ngabe indoda iyinhloko phezu kwezithende ngothando nomfazi wayo ovuthiwe wenhliziyo, angampholisa futhi ahambe. Ochwepheshe bacebisa ukuba bangahlali ezindabeni zabo, kodwa ukugcizelela izinhlangothi ezinhle zezinyunyana. Ngempela, kukhona okuheha umuntu ngaphakathi kuwe? Ngokuvamile owesifazane oneminyaka engu-35 no-40 + "ohlengikazi" abakhethiweyo abasha, uba kuye "umama" wengqondo. Isikhathi esithile, umuntu uyayithanda (ikakhulukazi uma engenalo i-caresses yomama). Kodwa-ke uzokhathala ngalesi simo sengqondo, yena ngokwakhe ufuna ukukhathalela omunye umuntu. Futhi uthole enye. Into esemqoka kwabesifazane abavuthiwe akufanele abe umama kumyeni wabo, kodwa ukuzama ukuxhumana naye ngokulingana okulinganayo.


Lapho iminyaka inikeza

Igebe phakathi kwezizukulwane lizuzisa lo mbhangqwana - uma bobabili bezama ukushintshanisa isipiliyoni futhi bazwe. Ukungalingani kwezebudala kuhle kakhulu kubantu abadala. Osemncane ngeke avumele umdala akhule, uvule ama-horizons amasha. Indoda evuthiwe izosiza le nsizwa emsebenzini wayo. Ikhefu lesikhashana lizosiza ekukhuleni okungokomoya kwabashadile. Kodwa izakhamizi, kusukela emisebenzini yokudala yasemuva, umehluko omkhulu akukubi. Ukhethiwe? Noma mncane kakhulu? Futhi kuzo zombili izimo owesifazane unezibhonasi zakhe. Umyeni ovuthiwe unikeza umuzwa wokuzinza - wezezimali kanye nomzwelo. Umlingani omncane usiza ukuba angalahlekelwa ithoni (lona wesifazane uhlolisisa ngokwakhe). Futhi, ekugcineni, ukushada kumane kulungile ndawonye! Futhi yimuphi umahluko phakathi kweminyaka engakanani phakathi kwabo?