Kodwa ukhumbuza kanjani ukuthi kwenziwa umzamo omkhulu ukufeza umhlangano oyifunayo, noma inombolo yocingo. Futhi noma ngabe kusebenza, khona-ke kwakukhona ukulindela okulindelekile nokujabula okukhulu.
Kodwa okuhlangenwe nakho kokuqala akupheli ngaso sonke isikhathi, okuyinto evame ukubabangela ukuthi intsha ikwazi ukuzikhiya. I-psychology yanamuhla isenze isinyathelo esikhulu ekutadisheni ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane, kuhlanganise nokuqala. Kunezinkambiso eziningi, amasu kanye nezimfihlo ukuthi intsha kufanele ibe lula ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala, ukuheha abantu, kanye nokuqala ukuxhumana nobulili obuhlukile.
Ngokujwayelekile izimo ezicindezelayo zitholwa yizingane, ngoba, njengokujwayelekile, kufanele zifune ukunakekelwa kwenkosikazi yenhliziyo yakhe, hhayi inzuzo. Kodwa lokhu kungenziwa kanjani? Indlela yokubonisa intombazane ukuthi ufuna ukuba isoka lakhe, kodwa nokho ungenzi iphutha?
Kunamanye amathiphu we-donjuan oqala, ake sibheke.
Inombolo yoMkhandlu 1.
Ukuze ubonise intombazane ukuthi ufuna ukuba naye, kufanele uqale ukuzitholela wena. Ngokuvamile abesilisa bacabanga ukuthi ukuze ujabulele kubalulekile ukuba ube mnandi, ngothando futhi ngezinye izikhathi futhi ujabule. Kodwa ngesizathu esithile, wonke umuntu uyakhohlwa ngothando lwabesifazane "lwababi". Bavumele futhi bangabi yintombazane yenhliziyo yokuphila, kodwa okuhlangenwe nakho kokuxhumana nomuntu onjalo emphefumulweni ufuna ukuthola wonke umuntu. Ngokujwayelekile amadoda alolu hlobo athatha ukuziphatha kwawo okungenakuvinjelwa, uhlobo oluthile lokuthuka, ukungahloniphi, ukuveza ngokuqondile izifiso. Khumbula ukuthi owesifazane kunoma yimuphi umdala ngumzingeli wemvelo, futhi akadingi isisulu, esizikhukhumeza futhi silungele ukusetshenziswa. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuyoba nokuhlaziywa kokulinganiselwa kokuphila, kodwa okokuqala owesifazane, kanye nendoda, kumele anqotshwe. Yebo, futhi uzojabula ukuzibona njengomnqobi, ngoba ukulimaza abaningi abalandeli, uyayikhetha.
Ngakho-ke, uma ukukhulisa nokusebenza kwamakhono kuvunyelwe ukuphindukuzalwa okunjalo - isenzo. Maduzane uzobona intshisekelo yokuzingela emehlweni okhethiweyo wakho.
Inombolo yoMkhandlu 2.
Khumbula ukuthi ubuntu bentombazane abuqondile, futhi impendulo "yebo, cha, mhlawumbe" - kunalokho umthetho kunokuhlukile. Ngakho funda ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa nokwenza. Ngokujwayelekile ebuhlotsheni obunjalo ukuziphatha lo wesifazane uzama ukugcina ingxenye yokuzibamba futhi ngaleyo ndlela anikeze lo muntu ilungelo lokukhetha nokukhululeka kwesenzo. Qhubeka, kodwa ungakhathazeki, amantombazane abathanda uma ebuzwa. Uma usathola amandla okusondela kuye bese ummema ngosuku, khona-ke hamba ngale ndlela kuze kube sekupheleni, ngaphandle kokumisa ngemuva "okubi, cishe ngeke ngikwazi." Kule nkulumo, ukugcizelelwa kuningi "mhlawumbe" kunokuthi "cha." Unganqikazi ukuthola isizathu, futhi unikeze izingxabano eziningana ukuze uhambe nawe. Izizathu zingaba yi-banal kakhulu: uyazi iphuzu nge-ayisikhilimu esiphundu kunazo zonke noma i-sushi, ukukhululwa kwefilimu entsha, isifiso sokukhuluma ngento ebalulekile, noma ukuthi inkampani iphakathi kwamabili, futhi ungathanda ukuthi kulobu busuku nawe. Ungacelwa usizo ngaphandle kokuzisola, ukulalela, isibonelo, ukunambitheka kwakhe okuhle ekugqokeni, kumculo, kumafilimu, kumnandi lapho ukhetha izipho, ubonise intombazane lokho okudingayo kuye. Abesifazane bathanda kakhulu ukusiza abantu. Futhi akukho okukuvimbela wena, emva kokuthenga okuphumelelayo, "ugeze" into entsha ekomishi yetiyi ku-cafe oyikhonzile.
Inombolo kaMkhandlu 3.
Ngezinye izikhathi awukwazi ukuthola intombazane ngokushesha. Ngokuvamile, ngaphambi kokuya esikhwameni esilinde isikhathi eside, futhi wena nenkosikazi yenhliziyo sishintsha abalingani abaningana, futhi ngisho nemishado. Kodwa ngalesi sikhathi, ngenkathi intombazane ngesizathu esithile ingatholakali, zama ukuzakhela indima, lapho ubuhlobo bufana nomncintiswano wezemidlalo. Futhi inani lamantombazane ngaphansi kwe "tick", lidlula noma yiluphi umbono wendabuko. Amadoda anjalo avame ukukhathazeka futhi adonse abesifazane. Kuyaphazamisa, iqiniso lokuthi, ukuya emhlanganweni, intombazane iyaqonda ngokucacile ukuthi ingagcina kanjani, nokuthi kusasa akekho ozoyibiza. Kodwa konke okufanayo kuya, futhi ulungiselela ngokucophelela. Futhi ludonsela ithuba elinjalo lokungenani uzame njengoba kunjalo, ake uqhubeke kusasa futhi kuthukuthele. Futhi, amadoda anjalo awaphefumuli ukuzethemba, futhi izifiso zakho zomzimba ngeke zinciphise zibe nezinhloso ezimbi, kodwa nje njengendlela yokuwina.
Ithiphu # 4.
Uma kunzima kakhulu ngemuva, akusho ukuthi udinga ukuphumula. Usuvele unomhlangano ongaphezu kweyodwa, kodwa awupheli njengoba ungathanda. Ngokuvamile emibhangqwana embalwa iqala ukuhlangana emva kokunikezwa okusemthethweni, wonke amagama esikhundleni sokubamba kuqala. Ngakho-ke, indlela engcono kakhulu yokubonisa intombazane ukuthi ufuna ukuba isoka lakhe yileli gama elimnandi. Ngokuvamile kunelungelo lokulinda umzuzwana othile, lapho uzohlala unesibindi. Isibonakaliso esiyinhloko ukuthi intombazane ayikhumbuli ukuziphatha kwayo. Ngokuvamile ezimweni ezinjalo abagijimeli ukugijima emnyango, baqala ukubonga ebusuku, ngenkathi bebukeka bethanda amehlo abo, baqala ukuthungatha into ethi "Yebo, ngaya .." noma "Ngilindele umama," " uzobiza kanjalo nokunye. Uma uqaphela lokhu - isenzo. Umzuzwana onjalo awukwazi ukuchithwa, bese konke kuzonqunywa ngokwayo, ngaphandle kwamazwi angenasisekelo.
Ithiphu # 5.
Ngemuva kokuba konke kunqunywe kakade, futhi ungazibiza ngokuziqhenya umbhangqwana, ungashintshi inkambo yakho, ungasuki emthwalweni wobuhlobo, noma ngabe konke akufani nalokho owacabanga ngakho. Ungayeki ukuzama ukuthola intombazane. Umbono ophutha kakhulu wabantu wukuthi uma bevuma ubuhlobo, ngeke kube khona noma kuphi. Ukuguqula ukuguqula ukuziphatha, kungabangela umuzwa wokunganakwa, nokungaqondi kahle. Futhi ngokufanele, ukuqhubeka kobudlelwano nokukhuluma akunakwenzeka. Ngakho-ke, uma intombazane isithandwa ngempela kuwe, qaphela izikhathi lapho uhlala ndawonye, unakekele imizwa, futhi uthole injabulo kuphela ebuhlotsheni.