Ubudlelwane obubizwa ngokuthi "Imfihlakalo" buvela phakathi kwabantu ngenxa yezimo ezihlukahlukene, imbangela yayo engekho ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuhlubuka. Ubuhlobo bomfihlo abuveleli nje kuphela ngesimo semikhaya yomndeni, kodwa futhi lapho inkaba engakwazi ukuqondwa ngumphakathi, iyoba nomona, ukuhleka usulu noma ukuvinjelwa. Yiqiniso, uthando oluyimfihlo ludala ubunzima obuthile, kodwa alukho lutho oluqhathaniswa ne-adrenaline, elijabulisa i-blood futhi lwenza ngokuphindaphindiwe ukufuna umthamo omusha wenjabulo "eyimfihlo". Kungani uthando amadoda nabesifazane baphoqeleka ukuba bafihle, bekhangayo, futhi amanoveli eyimfihlo ahlanganisa ubuhlobo obunamandla ngaphezu kwesitembu epasipoti?
Umusa wokufihla
Ubuhlobo bomshoshaphansi okungenani kanye nolwazi lwabantu bonke ekuphileni kwabo. Umuntu othile wayenekhanda lomsebenzi nomphathi, othile wayenebudlelwane obuseduze nomakhelwane oshadile, othile wayefihla uthando olungavunyelwe kubazali, futhi othile - evela kumyeni. Ukuxhumana okuyimfihlakalo bekulokhu kube yikhasi elihamba phambili emlandweni wezwe futhi, ngaphandle kwalokho, ngaphandle kwabo bekuyoba nokuphila okusha kwanamuhla. Yingakho abantu bekulungele ukuthatha izingozi, ukubhala izinsuku, ukufihla amaphasiwedi nokufinyelela oxhumana nabo siqu futhi bavelele imizwa yabo ngasese ukuze, uNkulunkulu angavumeli, imfihlo ayizange ibonakale. Kodwa uthando luthinta kuphela ukubaluleka kwalokho okuye kwazuzwa ngomzamo, ingozi, ubuqili kanye ne-savvy. Uthando lwangasese lufana ne-adventurous adventure, lapho abathandi abaningi bekhumbula ngentshiseko futhi bazama isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze bathuthukise ubuhle bokuhlangana kwemfihlo, ukuvakashelwa "okubiwe" nobuhlobo obunqatshelwe.
Izimbangela ezintathu zesifiso semfihlo
UProfesa wesayensi yezenhlalakahle, u-American Madeleine Fuger, obhala incwadi ethi "Social Psychology of Attractiveness and Relationstic Relationships," wathatha uthando oluyimfihlo waba yizicucu futhi waletha izizathu ezintathu eziyinhloko ezenza kube lula kakhulu kubantu abaningi.
Isizathu 1. Ukugembula
Isifiso sezimfihlakalo nemigqabhezana senziwa ngokoqobo kusukela ebuntwaneni. Amageyimu kuma-scouts nezinhloli, ama-adventures angaqondakali amaqhawe e-movie kanye nophenyo oluphenywayo ezincwadini zamanoveli yilokho okungazange kukhule khona isizukulwane. Kodwa-ke, ubuntwana buphelile, futhi nginobuciko obujabulisayo bokudlala imidlalo. Ukuze ngandlela-thile inxephezele ukuntuleka kwabo, abantu bavame ukugcwalisa izimpilo zabo ngokuthanda ngasese ngokusebenzisa uthando olungavunyelwe. Amaphuzu angalungile, ukukhanya kwe-languid, imiyalezo efihliwe kanye nezinhloso zokuvulela ukuguqula ubuhlobo zibe umdlalo wokufuna lapho, lapho kudideka nokufihla khona, kuyathandeka ngokwengeziwe. Ngakho-ke abathandi bezithando zokuhlola ngokocansi benengozi yokuchayeka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, imfihlo eyodwa yezinkampani ezimbili iqoqa ndawonye, yenza izinhlanganiso futhi iqinisa ubuhlobo "nezigebengu".
Isizathu 2. Ukwazisa nokuvuselela ubudlelwano
Uthando "olutshontshiwe" luyandisa ukunxusa. Ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, abantu abakwazi ukuphuza uthando kuze kube phansi. Abazizwa begcwele ukugcotshwa komunye nomunye, ngoba ngezimo zabo konke kunqunyelwe - isikhathi, nothando, kanye nobulili. Ucwaningo lwesayensi lubonisa ukuthi ukwaneliseka ngokocansi kufinyelele ekutheni ukwaneliseka ngokocansi kufinyelele ekuphakameni kwawo okungakapheli ngonyaka wokuqala, khona-ke kunciphisa, kudlulele othandweni olungenalutho, ubungane, ukubambisana, noma ngokujwayelekile izinga eliphansi lokufutheka liba yisizathu sokuqedela inkaba noma umshado. Ngesikhathi izibopho eziyimfihlo zingenakubalwa isikhathi eside zingagcini ukukhathazeka esiqongweni, okuletha ukungalindeleki kanye nobuhle ebuhlotsheni.
Isizathu 3. Ukukholelwa kwenkululeko
Abathandi, abanobudlelwane babo abangekho ngaphansi kokusakazwa noma abangagxiliwe epasipoti, ngokuqaphela noma ngokungazi ukuthi bakhululekile. Bathandana, kodwa bayakwazi ukucula okungaphezu kombhangqwana osemthethweni, abaxhomeke ekulahlweni nasekugxekeni kwalabo abakuzungezile. Kwabanye abantu, umuzwa wenkululeko uvuselela futhi ushiye ilungelo lokuzikhethela, okungekho emkhayeni womndeni. Yiqiniso, uma umuntu ethandana, lokhu akumvimbeli ukuba abe yiqiniso nokuphupha ngesimo esisemthethweni. Ikakhulukazi, ngokusho kwezibalo, kusuka emfihlo ukuthanda imishado inamandla futhi ihlala njalo. Kodwa-ke, kwenzeka futhi ukuthi ubudlelwane obuhlukanisiwe buba yisisekelo esivumelana nabantu abanothando, noma kulabo abanamahloni okubambisana noma abangenalo izinhloso ezijulile.