Isikhathi esisha, imilolo emisha
Izindinganiso zomndeni - yilokho okubalulekile, okubalulekile (i-tautology, kodwa ngaphandle kwalokho ayikho indlela!), Ihlonishwa yiwo wonke amalungu omndeni, insimu jikelele yezintshisekelo zabo. Ngokuyinhloko, izindinganiso zomndeni zifana nalokho: uthando, ubuzali, ukwethembeka, ukwethenjwa, uxhumano nobaba, indlu ... Ngamafuphi, konke ngaphandle komndeni nomndeni kunzima ukukubiza. Ngaphezu kwalokho - umndeni uqobo, njengento ehlangene yalezi zici, nakho kuyigugu! Kodwa izikhathi ezikhulunywe ngazo azizona zonke izinto, ngoba umphakathi ukhula, isigaba ngasinye sinomhlobo wayo wobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abaseduze nokuthi yini ebaluleke kulezi zinsuku. Isibonelo: lapho umsebenzi wezandla wawukhona ngaphambili kwekhulu lama-20, imindeni emikhulu yayibalulekile, noma - ukuhlala kwemindeni eminingana ehlangene ndawonye - othile kwakufanele ahlakulele umhlaba, enze ukulima ngokuhlanganyela. Ngokufika kwekhulu leminyaka lama-20, konke kwashintsha: kusukela enani lamalungu omndeni, ukuchuma kwawo akuxhomekile, ngaphambili - "ikhwalithi" yabo: imfundo, isimo sezenhlalakahle. Ukushintsha kwezinto eziza kuqala emndenini kuyabonakala: izingane eziningi nezizukulwane eziningana noma amahlumela ezindawo eziqhele ngamamitha ayizigaba eziqhelekile seziphelile, indawo yazo ithathwe ngabasha: ingane eyodwa noma ezimbili emndenini kanye nesidingo sokuba nembungu isidleke semindeni yabo. Ezinye zalezi zinguquko zingcono, ezinye azikho. Izinguquko nazo zenzeka kulezi zinsuku. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunikezwa isigqi samanje sokuphila - ngisho nangokwengeziwe. Yiziphi izindinganiso ezithatha indawo yabantu abadala kanye nendlela yokulondoloza okungcono kakhulu kwazo?
Inkululeko yokuzikhethela
Liye laba yigugu elidingekile, ilungu ngalinye lomkhaya linikeza ithuba lokuziveza, ukuqonda ukuthi ubuntu bakhe abuphuli. Okokuqala kuqondene nabafazi nezingane. Isizathu sithi namuhla abesifazane - ngokuvamile bazuza okuningi, uma kungenjalo, amadoda, abanika lona inkululeko ethile (ubufazi babenegalelo kulo). Ngokuphathelene nezingane, bacabanga, badala futhi babone izinto ngendlela ehluke kakhulu kunabantwana babo, kaningi-ngokucophelela okuningi. Ebona ukuthi izingane zikhula eminyakeni engaphezu kweminyaka, abadala banciphisa izintambo zabo zethonya. Inani elisha, yebo, lihle, kodwa umuntu kumele aqonde ukuthi inkululeko kufanele ifakwe emithwalweni - ngenxa yezenzo zomuntu. Futhi ubaba kufanele akwenze kusukela eneminyaka eyisithupha - kokubili amantombazane nabafana. Ngalesi sikhathi ingane iya esikoleni futhi ishiya indawo yethonya elingenamkhawulo lomama, kodwa kungani ubaba ngempela? Abesifazane basheshe, bazizwa bezwela kakhulu izingane zabo, ngakho-ke baxolela okuningi. Ubaba uyazi intengo yegama elinikeziwe, uyithatha umthwalo walo, futhi angayibonisa ingane, okungukuthi, ukuyifundisa ngesibonelo somuntu siqu. Ubaba uzothola impendulo kumbuzo othi "Kungani wenze lokhu?", Futhi umama uzozisola. Uma uzwa, okungenani enye incazelo evela kwengane eneminyaka engu-6, uzozwa ngo-16.
Indawo Yomuntu
Lesi yisidingo selungu ngalinye lomndeni esesikhathini esiseduze sokuziphilisa. Esikhathini sethu sezinkinga kanye nokukhathala okungapheli, abantu baqala ukuzama ukulondeka nokuthula. Imindeni emisha - ikakhulukazi, kepha ngokuvamile iphoqeleka ukuba ihlale nabazali bayo. Ukwehluleka kwamalungu omndeni omusha ukuhlala nabo, ngokusho kweqiniso, kulungile. Kodwa leli xabiso labhubhisa ubuhlobo bomndeni obuqinile. Ukugubha imikhosi ejwayelekile etafuleni elifanayo nezihlobo zonyaka wonke ezivela kuzo zonke izifunda ziyi-rarity, ezonakalisa izimpande zomndeni ezinamandla. Ngokuvamile izingane azi amagama omama wabo oshonile, abafowabo bangamakhulukazi. Indlela kuphela yokuphuma ukutadisha nokudweba umuthi wakho womndeni. Yazi okhokho bakho kuyinto evamile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyasiza kakhulu ekuthandeni kwe-psychotherapy, ngoba lapho ufunda "izimpande" ngokushesha wabona izimiso zezizukulwane eziningana: indlela abenza ngayo ezimweni ezahlukene zogogo nomkhulu, bangaki abantwana ababenakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukukhohliswa emndenini. Into esemqoka akukaze ihlulele: uma bekungenjalo, besingeke sibe khona. Kodwa mayelana neqiniso lokuthi ukuthembela ekukhulisweni kwezingane kubagogo, - imibono yabanokholo kwengqondo ihlukanisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuyisiqiniseko esithile sokuthi ingane izokwazi ukuthi inhlobo yakhe ingcono kangako, qaphela ukushintshaniswa kwezizukulwane, uzohlonipha amasiko omndeni. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ugogokazi - imiqondo encane engaphelelwe sikhathi nesizukulwane esincane abadingi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amandla asebekhulile anomthelela omubi egazini elincane - amaSlav ayeqiniseka ngalokho. Ngakho-ke, amaholide nezinsuku ziphuma ku-ugogo - ukukhanya okuluhlaza, ukuthola imfundo engunaphakade - obomvu.
Iqembu lomndeni
Leli fomu lwakamuva nje lobudlelwane emndenini (ikakhulukazi ukungabikho kwezingane), lapho uthando olukhulu, luthando olungavamile aludlali i-violin yokuqala: kwanele kuphela induduzo, imvume, inhlonipho. Lesi setha yisisekelo. Lezi zibini ziningi kakhulu: abambisene nabo bahamba kahle, bekanye ndawonye futhi ngenkathi kungekho lutho oluyophazamisa ukuvumelana kwabo, inyunyana izoba khona. Izimfanelo zomuntu siqu naye, ukukwazi ukubhekana nezimo ezingavumi ngaso sonke isikhathi ohlelweni lwezinzwa, zibaluleke kakhulu lapha. Indlela elinganiselayo kunoma yikuphi isimo nokungabi khona kwamahlazo aphezulu kanye nabahlaziyi bezimpawu zomndeni onjalo. Ukwahlukanisa negama lesifazane kulokhu akulona ukwehluleka noma ukwehluleka, kepha nje ukukhansela uhlobo lwenkontileka. Ngenkathi kungekho bantwana, akukho lutho olungalungile emisha, ngoba wonke umuntu uthola lokho abakufunayo. Kodwa ingane ingaphula i-idyll enesibindi (ukuqinisekisa ukuthi manje othile ulungile omunye umuntu), bese umndeni owodwa ongaphelele uzoba ngaphezulu. Indlela yokuphuma ingemva kokuzalwa kwendlalifa futhi ingaphinde iphula imigomo "yesivumelwano". Ngendlela, imizwa iyancipha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ukuhlala njalo kwenhlonipho nokuqonda, ngisho nangaphandle kokuthandana, kuyigumbi lesisekelo esisekelweni semindeni.