Indlela yokufunda ukuba umngane omuhle?

Ukuxhumana kungenye yezimiso ezisemqoka ezifaka incazelo "yomuntu". Kungenxa yokuxhumana ukuthi sihluke kakhulu nezilwane eziseduze nathi. Ngenxa yokwazi ukukhuluma nokwakha iziphakamiso ezinde futhi ezigxile, singabonisa isimo sethu sengqondo kwabanye abantu, sicele usizo, futhi sisize. Ekugcineni, ngaphandle kokuxhumana, asikwazanga ngisho nokuvuma uthando lwethu kumuntu othandekayo.

Kodwa-ke, naphezu kokuthi abantu abaningi bayakwazi ukukhuluma, ngeshwa, akusiwo wonke umuntu okwazi ukuxhumana nabantu abathandayo abasebenzisa isikhathi esithile sokukhululeka, ukuze bazwe inkulumo elandelayo emlonyeni wethu. Ngakho-ke singaba kanjani ababukeli abakhulu abangakwazi ukuphatha, ukwenza ukuhleka nokuthanda nje izilaleli ngamazwi ambalwa nje alungile?

Okumangalisa ukuthi, kulula kakhulu ukuba ngumculi ohlakaniphile, naphezu kokuthi kuzothatha okungaphezu konyaka ukuphumelela kulo msebenzi. Enhliziyweni yalokho okuthakazelisayo kubantu abakuzungezile, ngaphezu kwakho konke, ingumqondo wokuthi "ukumangala". Yebo, kungenxa yokukwazi ukumangaza abalaleli ngomusho ngamunye olandelayo futhi siyaba mnandi futhi, ngomqondo othile, izikhulumi ezikhangayo. Isibonelo, kungaba mnandi ukubuka amaqhinga uma wazi kahle ukuthi ucezu ngalunye lweqhinga lwenziwa kanjani nokuthi yini ongayilindela ekugcineni kwesenzo somlingo esilandelayo? Akunjalo! Okufanayo nangokwazi ukukhuluma - ungazicabangela njengomuntu ojabule kakhulu, kodwa uma utshela amahlaya afanayo nsuku zonke ofunda encwadini ethi "101 ihlaya elihle kakhulu", akekho ozomomotheka, kodwa hamba ulalele inkulumo , isibonelo, phezu kwengxenyana yokuziphendulela noma i-quantum physics empilweni yomuntu ovamile.

Isifundo sesibili esibaluleke kakhulu okumele sifunde ngaphambi kokuqala ukuphupha lokuba yinto enhle ukuthi akufanele uzame ukukhuluma ngezinto ongazi. Kungenzeka ukuthi awunawo ulwazi olujulile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini, ngaphandle kweyodwa. Ngakho-ke zama ukumangaza abantu ngalokho okwazi kulokhu, futhi ungabheke ukuqashelwa kwendawo yonke, ukusekela ukukhulumisana ngezihloko owake wazizwa empilweni yakho okokuqala. Abantu abaningi bacela ukuthi benze kanjani ngesikhathi lapho isihloko, esithile nokuqondakala kuwe, singakwazi ukuguqulwa, njengoba nje ungakwazi ukuthula. Impendulo, njengoba njalo, ilula - ukuzigxeka kuyokusiza. Mane nje, uma ubhekene nesimo lapho uphoqeleka ukusekela ingxoxo ngezinto ongazi, zama ukusebenzisa ukungabi nolwazi lwakho futhi esikhundleni sokubuza abanye imibuzo mayelana nesihloko, ungase uzame ukusebenzisa ubuqili bakho bese ucela abaxhumana nabo okuthile, khona-ke lokhu kulesi sihloko, ukuthi kuzodingeka bacabange futhi bahlale bezama ukuthola impendulo, kunokuba ungakwazi ukunikeza ubuncanyana obuncane, kodwa futhi nokuthakazelisa ekukhulumisaneni kwakho. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukwenza lokhu, ungamane uhumushe umbuzo owenziwe kuwe, ngendlela yamahlaya kunoma yimuphi omunye umuntu eqenjini lakho.

Futhi, ekugcineni, ikhono lesithathu elibaluleke kunayo yonke isikhulumi esithandwayo noma esingaphansi emphakathini esinesibindi nokungabikho kokuthobeka ngokweqile. Khumbula njalo ukuthi uma usho okuthile, usho amazwi, imisho kanye nemisho yonke kubantu abafana nawe, ngubani ongasukuma futhi aqale ukukhuluma ukuze abakhohlwe ngokushesha futhi uzophoqeleka ukuba uhlale eceleni bese uphuza itiye ngokuthula, kanti abanye uVasya Petrov bevela esitshalweni bayothokoza futhi bajabule ezungezile, futhi bayamangaza ngamaqiniso ngomshini othile. Ngakho-ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhumbula ukuthi ngokushesha nje lapho uvula umlomo wakho bese ubiza umsindo wokuqala - kusukela manje usuke waba yinkosi yokunqoba futhi kufike kuwe ukuthi kuzothatha isikhathi esingakanani ngaphambi kokuba ususwe. Futhi inkosi kufanele ibuse kanjani? Kulungile - ngokuzwakalayo, ngokucacile, ehlukahlukene, ehlakaniphile, futhi ebaluleke kakhulu - ngokufanele. Ukuqhubekela phambili kulokhu, sakha ifomula ye-rhetoric ekahle: inkulumo enhle = inkulumo ecacile necacile + iziphakamiso zamasiko, ezingalindelekile nezithakazelisayo kwabanye.

Ekugcineni ngingathanda ukuphawula ukuthi into esemqoka ayesabi ukukhuluma nokuveza umbono wakho siqu, ngoba abantu abakwazi ukuvumelana nabanye abakaze bathande, futhi ngeke bathande. Ngisho noma umbono wakho uphambene ngokuphelele nemicabango yabanye - veza konke njengoba ucabanga, bese-ke uzobe uhlonishwa ngenxa yesibindi sakho sokulwa nabanye, futhi uma "ubonisa" umbono wakho ophikisanayo ngosizo lwenkulumo ekhulunywe ngokuphawulekayo, khona-ke abakwa-interlocutors ngeke basho lutho olubi nakancane, kodwa ngiyabonga ngezikhathi ezimangalisayo lapho belalela khona inkulumo enhle kakhulu, ehlakaniphile.