Indlela yokuxhumana nalokhu? Phonsa futhi ngokushesha ubaleke? Amaforamu amaningi azinikele kulokhu, ngoba konke kulula kakhulu uma siwahlulela ngaphandle, kodwa uma sithola lesi simo, siqala ukungabaza, sizibuze imibuzo ... Lokhu kwenzeka kanjani kimi? Wayengakwenza kanjani lokhu, futhi kufanele ngisabele kanjani, kufanele asho ukuthini? Ingabe ngempela yindlela kuphela yokuphuma - ukuphula ubuhlobo obakhelwe isikhathi eside? Umbono we-psychologist kulezo zimo, uma umfana ephakamisa isandla sakhe ngentombazane, ingahlukahluka kuye ngezici ezahlukene. Sizozama ukuwacabangela futhi siwaqonde lesi simo. Phela, kwi-psychology ebuhlotsheni, uma indoda ishaya owesifazane - icala alithandabuli ngokwanele, le nkinga ikhathaza amantombazane amaningi, abesilisa babo abavame ukuziphatha kabi.
Abesifazane abaningi bangaphula impilo yabo ngokukhetha okungalungile, bezikhohlisa. Sizozama ukucubungula izimo ezahlukene kanye nendlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kuzo, ukuze sisize abesifazane ukuthola lesi sinqumo esinzima.
Uma umuntu ephakamisa isandla sakhe kumfazi wakhe, imibono yezengqondo zengqondo ivame ukuguqula eyodwa: okokuqala udinga ukuqonda okukhethekile kweso simo, ekuziphatheni komyeni wakho, nakwezakho. I-Psychological of Relationship Relationships ibeka umthetho ongapheliyo: ungagijimeli echibini, kodwa uhlaziye izenzo zayo, wenze umbono, yikuphi ingozi ukuthi lokhu kuzoqhubeka?
Uma umuntu ehlaba ngokuphindaphindiwe, owesifazane wakhe, okubonakala sengathi uyamthanda, futhi ephakamisa isandla sakhe kuwe, uyakucabangela ukuthi udinga yini impilo enjalo, ubuhlobo obunjalo? Ingabe ufuna ukubekezelela njalo ukuziphatha okunjalo kuwe? Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu - cela ukuthi uzihloniphe yini, ngoba ngalesosikhathi, ukuthi ngaleyo ndlela awuhlonishwa ngumyeni wakho - ngokuqinisekile, ngoba kule nkinga, uhlonipha yena kuphela! Cabanga ukuthi ungahlala yini nesadistri, uphile, wazi ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha kuzokwenzeka futhi? Emva kwakho konke, impilo yakho ingaba yindlala, akukho ngisho nombuzo wothando, isisa, ukusondelana okungokomoya ...
Ngokuvamile abesifazane kuleli cala bahlushwa imibuzo: ingabe lokhu kuyindlela efanele yokuphuma, ingabe yedwa kuphela? Ingabe kufanele ngishiye umyeni wami, kufanele ngimphathe kanjani, mhlawumbe ngisakwazi ukulungisa? Cabanga futhi kuze kube yilapho abanye besifazane bevuma icala lokuziphatha komyeni wakhe, baqale ukufuna, bemba ebuhlotsheni babo, babheke amaphutha abo futhi baphuthele, baphetha ngokuthi yilokho abacasula umyeni wakhe. Futhi yonke into yokuthi ingqondo yabo ayikwazi ukwamukela umcabango wokuthi indoda abathandekayo, labo ababecabanga ngekusasa kwakuyikhono, elihle futhi elihle-lemvelo, ngokuzumayo libonisa isimo sengqondo esinjalo kubo ... Konke lokhu, kuyiqiniso, kuyadabukisa kakhulu kodwa ukubekezelela ama-antics anjalo kamuva kuzodabukisa nakakhulu. Awudingi umshicileli. Uma ngokuphindaphindiwe evumela ukuthi aphakamise isandla sakhe kuwe, lokhu kubonisa ukuthi kukhona indlela eyodwa yokuphuma - ukuze uzisindise. Ngoba uma ezama ukuphakamisa isandla sakhe kuwe, ngeke akwazi ukushaya ingane yakho yesikhathi esizayo noma ukuguqula impilo yomndeni wakho esihogweni.
Cabanga ngokucophelela, uhlole isimo. Ufuna lokhu? Ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukubuyela ekuphileni okusha, ngoba isimangaliso kuphela singamqondisa umuntu onjalo. Ukungaziphenduleli kwakhe nokungahloniphi kuyothinta kakhulu ingqondo, eyakho kanye nengane yakho.
Kulokhu, umbuzo uvela: yini okufanele uyenze uma icala lwenzeka kanye kuphela? Uma umuntu "engahleki" ehleka usulu okhethiweyo wakhe, ushaya owesifazane, kodwa nje uhlobo lwawo lwahlukana nochungechunge, nakuba ngaphambili lokhu kungagcinwa. Indlela yokusabela ngayo lokhu? Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Kungani le ndoda yenza lokhu?
I-Psychology - isayensi eyenzelwe ukuchaza, ikakhulukazi, ubudlelwane bomuntu siqu, ukuze uthole imbangela yezenzo ezithile. Esimweni lapho umfana eshaya intombazane engahleleki, kodwa njengokungathi evulekile, kungekho okudingekayo ngaphambili, izazi ze-psychologist zivame ukuchaza lokhu kuqubuka kokuhlukunyezwa okunje. Imizwelo enembile inezinto ezizothola umuntu. Ngakho-ke, uma ziqoqwa ngokweqile, umthamo onjalo wamandla aphansi kufanele uphonswe ngaphandle, ngendlela efanayo, ngokuphazamiseka. Ukushaya izitsha, usike iphepha ... Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi "ukuqhuma" kwemizwelo kungenzeka ngokuzenzakalelayo, njengoba kwenzeka lapho indoda iphakamisa isandla sayo kumfazi wayo, imshaya. Ngale ndlela uyadlulisa ukucindezeleka nokuhlangenwe nakho okubi kuye into eyabathukuthelisa, ngokushoyo, ukuphululela intukuthelo kumkayo, owamenza, asuse isikhalazo sakhe ngesibhamu sakhe. Kodwa wonke umehluko nomdlalo wukuthi akuwona wonke umuntu ongakwenza lokhu. Ekufezeni izenzo ezithile, asiqondiswa izifiso zethu kuphela, kodwa futhi nesimo esifanele, futhi ukuziphatha kwethu kulawulwa yizimiso zokuziphatha komphakathi, kanye nemithetho esiyidale yona, izinto eziza kuqala kanye nokholo, izimiso nokuziphatha okuthonya nezenzo. Kulandela ukuthi umuntu oyedwa, nakuba ezwela, angeke amshaye umkakhe ngoba ingqondo yakhe ayihlinzekeli izenzo ezinjalo, ngoba yena uphansi kakhulu, futhi imithetho ye-consciousness yakhe ngeke imvumele ukuba enze lokhu. Enye, ebeka owesifazane ulingana naye, noma ngisho ephansi, iqondiswa ukukhuliselwa okunye, omunye umbono weqiniso, isimo sengqondo kokubili owesifazane nezinto, esimweni esibucayi angakwenza.
Ukuhlaziywa kokuziphatha kowesifazane kuleso simo kuncike esimweni sakhe sengqondo kulokhu, ukuthi usekulungele kanjani ukwamukela ukuziphatha komyeni wakhe, ukuthi uzokwazi yini ukumthethelela. Isici esibaluleke nakakhulu, okufanele siqondiswe ekuhlaziyweni kwesimo, ukuziphatha komuntu ngokushesha ngemuva kwezenzo. Uma ebona ukugxeka kwesimo, wavuma ngesenzo sakhe njengokuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo, ecela ukuthethelelwa, uyazi ukuthi akakwazi nokuthembisa ukuthi ngeke akwenze esikhathini esizayo, ungamthethelela, kudingeke kwenziwe, kodwa hhayi ngokushesha. Indoda akufanele izwe ukuvunyelwa futhi konke-ukuthethelelwa, makaqaphele ukuthi wenze kabi.
Umbono wesazi sezengqondo esimweni esinzima, lapho umuntu eshaya owesifazane wakhe, yilokho okufanele enze ngokuvumelana nesimo, akekho oqondile ozofinyelela kuso. Kodwa ikhono lokuhlola ngokulinganayo lesi simo kuwumsebenzi onzima kakhulu, onzima, ngoba ubudlelwane abuyena nje uzwela no-kisses, futhi kukhona ukuhlambalaza okungenakugwemeka nokuxabana. Udinga ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwephutha kanye nephutha elithethelelwe, kusukela ekuphatheni okuqhubekayo kokuziphatha okungonakalisa impilo yakho. Cabanga kahle ngemiphumela, uhlaziye isimo bese wenza njengoba ubona kufanelekile. Uma ungabaza ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenze kahle, ngabe isimo sakho siyini, noma ngabe uyazikhohlisa, ungahlala uye kumcwaningi wezengqondo noma ochwepheshe be-psychotherapist oyokusiza ukuba uqonde isimo futhi uzokuholela esinqumweni esiqondile kakhulu .