Mhlawumbe, wonke umuntu uyazi kakade ukuthi zonke izinkinga zethu zivela ebuntwaneni. Kodwa abambalwa bayazi ukuthi kungani ukuthi lezi zinkimbinkimbi zihlehliswa kanjani emqondweni wengane nokuthi ngumuphi umzuzu oqondile. Okwamanje, kubaluleke kakhulu ukubhekana nalolu daba ukuze ungenzi izinkinga esikhathini esizayo ngomntanakho.
Futhi empeleni, ezimweni ezingamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye ngaphandle kwekhulu, konke lokhu kwenziwa ngaphandle kwezisusa ezinhle, ngaphandle kwesifiso sokwenza konke okudingekile nokufundisa umuntu "olungile". Enye yezindlela zokuxazulula eziningi zezimo eziyinkimbinkimbi yengqondo yengane ukusebenzisa umuzwa wecala.
Ukusikisela okungaqondakali
Ngokungaqondakali ingane yakhe ngomuzwa wecala, abazali basebenzisa izinkulumo ezinjalo ekuphileni kwansuku zonke: "Angiyidingi umfana omncane (" intombazane ")", "Ngiyakwenzela konke, futhi wena ...", "Amehlo ami awazange akubheke", " ngoba wena wedwa izinkinga "," Uyangishaya kanjani "nokunye okunjalo.
Kucatshangwa ukuthi ingane, lapho izwa lezi zihlamba, izomuzwa unecala ngokungahambisani nokulindela kwabazali noma ukwenza into engalungile futhi iyoba nesifiso sokuthuthukisa, ibe "umfana omuhle" noma intombazane. Kubonakala sengathi yini engalungile ngalokho? Into embi ukuthi ngale ndlela indlela yokuziphatha "eqondile" eqondile isetshenziswa.
Ingane iqala ukuzibona njengesithintelo empilweni yabazali bayo, njengesikweletu sabo saphakade, ngoba bamnika impilo, banakekela futhi banakekela. Futhi njengoba ebolekisa uphoqeleka ukuba "akhokhe izikweletu", abe yilokho abazali bakhe abafuna ukuba abe khona. Akudingeki ukuthi, izikweletu ezifana 'nesipho sokuphila' azikwazi ukukhokhwa, futhi ukudlala kulokhu okungenakulinganiswa ukuze isimo somntwana singapheli.
Inkohliso "encane"
Ngaphambi kokusebenzisa le nqubo, cabanga:
lokhu uhlobo lokukhohlisa kwengqondo. Ngakho-ke, ususa umthwalo wemfanelo ezinkingeni zakho kumahlombe wezingane. Wena njengokungathi uthi kuye: "bheka uzalwa, futhi ngokushesha nganginenkinga eminingi kangaka." Futhi kusuka lapha "Ngikhathele ngawe, angikudingi, ngikhathele ngawe, bengingazi ukuthi ubi kakhulu, njll".
Kodwa ngemuva kokuba wonke umntwana esesinqumweni sombuzo ngokuzalwa akuzange amukele noma yikuphi ukubamba iqhaza. Ukuthola i-posterity - kwakuyinto oyikhethayo ngokuphelele futhi umthwalo walesi sinyathelo ulala nawe ngokuphelele.
Ngakho-ke ungalindeli ukubonga ngomthwalo wakho owakhokhisiwe futhi ubonge ngekusasa lomntwana onakho, hhayi ngenxa yesithombe esicabangayo esicabanga ngendlela yakho engqondweni.
Enye ingozi yalesi simo sengqondo ukuthi ingane, ngenxa yokungazi lutho, ingafinyelela esiphethweni sokuthi kungaba ngcono uma kungenjalo.
Khona-ke umama wayezoba nesikhathi sokubuka i-TV, funda incwadi, uphumule kahle. Isixazululo kuphela kulezi zibulala, kodwa akunakwenzeka ingane.
Ngakho-ke, uqala ukusebenzisa uhlelo lokuzibhubhisa ngezifo ezivamile, izifo, futhi emva kokukhula - izindlela ezinjalo zokuzibhubhisa njengezidakamizwa noma udoti. Ngemuva kwalokho, ingane ibona ukubaluleka kokuphila kwakhe kuze kube yilapho ingumthombo wenjabulo nenjabulo kwabanye.
futhi, ekugcineni, ukufaka okunjalo kungavala indoda encane zonke izindlela zokuziqhenya. Uzama ukubuyisela abazali bakhe "isikweletu" kuzo zonke izifiso ezifisweni nasezimfunweni zabo. Kodwa imibono yabazali ngamakhono namathuba wezingane angase ahambisani ngokuphelele namaqiniso wangempela.
UCarl Gustov Jung wabhala: "Izingane zihlose ukufezekisa lokho abazali babo abazange bakwenze, baphoqeleka yizimfuno abazali abangazange bazibone. Izindlela ezinjalo zidala izilo zokufundisa. "
Futhi ingane, ethatha ukukhetha kwabazali, isuke isesimweni esibi. Ukuphila kwami konke kubukeka emuva kumama nobaba, akakutholanga lutho empilweni futhi, ngemva kwakho konke, kubazali bakhe uthola isihlamba ngenxa yokuhluleka ukuxazulula izinkinga zakhe futhi abe nesibopho sokuphila kwakhe kanye nokuphila kwabathandekayo bakhe.
Ukuphambanisa konke
Imvelaphi yezakhiwo. Ngokuvamile, izingane ezizizwa zizizwa zecala ngokuqondene nokuba khona kwazo kubazali, zigijimela inkululeko, ziba ngokweqile. Ngokusho kokubheka kwengqondo kwengqondo yabantwana, intsha engama-90% eyinselele ingabantwana abangashadile abanomqondo ongathí sina wecala kubazali babo.
Futhi ezimweni ezimbalwa kuphela kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulume ngesifo sokubeletha esibhedlela se-psyche. Ukubonisa abanye ukuziphatha okuvusa amadlingozi, baqonda ngokungaqondi ukuthi bangene "ekujezisweni".
Kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuthi isijeziso sinciphisa umuzwa wecala futhi izingane ezinjalo zizama ukususa ukungezwani okungaphakathi okungazi lutho, ngokungazikhetheli ukukhetha izikhathi lapho umuntu enomuzwa wokuthi unecala lokuthile okukhonkolo, okuqondakalayo nokucacile.
Vula ifasitela - unecala - usolwa, ujeziswa. Konke kucacile. Wena wazalelwa - abazali bakhathele (batshale amandla amaningi, imali, njll) - kufanele ubekwe icala. Lokhu kusetshenziselwa imithi akusiyo njalo ehlombe kanye nabantu abadala, psyche yengane nalokhu futhi akunakwenzeka ngokuphelele ukuyiqonda.
Imiphumela ebuhlungu
Isibonelo esicacile seyinkimbinkimbi yecala elibhubhisa impilo yindaba ye-Hollywood umlingisi uJennifer Aniston. Ukungaphumeleli okuqhubekayo empilweni yakhe yangomuntu kwamsusa kusuka "odume" kuya "odume kakhulu." Ngokuqondile ngoba engathandi ukukhuluma ngobuntwana bakhe, ungabheka ubuhlobo bakhe nonina.
Abazali bakhe bahlukanisile ngesikhathi eneminyaka engu-9 ubudala - ubaba washada nomunye wesifazane, unina wasala yedwa. Ngaphandle kokuthola impumelelo emkhakheni wezobuchwepheshe noma "phambili", lo wesifazane akazange avumele indodakazi yakhe ukuba ibukele i-TV ngenxa yokuthi ... "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi lokhu kuzwakale kabi ngoba ubaba wadlala ngaleso sikhathi ochungechungeni" Izinsuku Zokuphila Kwethu ". - U-Aniston wayetshela. "Ngeke ukholwe, angivunyelwe ukuya kumabhayisikobho ngize ngineminyaka eyishumi nambili."
Cishe, emehlweni omama, le ntombazane yimbangela yezikhazamiso kanye nesikhumbuzo esicasulayo somyeni wakhe wangaphambili: umama wayebheka intombazane enhle kabi futhi ehleka njalo ngezwi layo.
Ngisho nokuphumelela kokuzithulu kukaJennifer ochungechungeni lwe-TV ethi "Abangane", okwamenza waba isithombe samantombazane amaningi, akubanga ukuzethemba. "Nginobuhlobo obungavamile, ngisho nangesibuko sasekhaya - ngothando-enenzondo. Ezinsukwini ezithile ngizithanda mina ngaphezu kwabanye. "
Iminyaka engu-12 umdlali wesifazane engazange akhulume futhi akazange akhulume ngisho nocingo nomama wakhe-ngokusobala ngale ndlela wazama ukukhohlwa konke okuphefumulelwe kuye ebuntwaneni.
Isiqondiso "esingaphila" engqondweni sigcwaliseka ngezindlela ezimbili. Ngesinye isikhathi, ingane ithola ukufakwa "ungahlali impilo yakho, kodwa uphile impilo yami". Ngakolunye uhlangothi, "impilo yakho isendleleni yami." Ngokwehlukile kokuqala, ekubeni umuntu omdala, umuntu uqala ukuzibheka engenanzuzo, engenakuthola lutho. Kumele ahlale efakazela ukuthi ufanele okuthile, okusho ukuthi ufanelwe uthando nenhlonipho.
Njengoba engakutholanga "ubufakazi" obanele bokubaluleka kwawo ngaphandle kokwamukela uthando nokuqashelwa, uya ekucindezelekeni okujulile, ufuna ukududuzwa kotshwala, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukuxazulula inkinga yokuzibulala. Isimo esifanayo sihambisana nezingane ezithemba ukuthi ziye zaphazamisa abazali bazo zonke izimpilo zabo, zibenza bazikhathalele futhi babe nezinkinga.
Ngakho qaphela ngamazwi, abazali abathandekayo. Futhi khumbula, ububi obukhulu kwengane kungukuntuleka kokufudumala nokuthandwa kwangempela. Masifunde ukuthanda izingane zethu ngoba nje zingabantwana bethu!
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