Ukushada noma ukushada nendoda encane kakhulu, ngokuvamile ukubhekana (noma ukufihla) emiphumeleni yenkinga ye "midlife". Ungathola ukuthi imiphi imishado engalingani. Umngcele weminyaka engamashumi amane uphoqa lowo muntu, hhayi njalo ngokucophelela, ukuhlanganisa yonke imiphumela ephakathi kokuphila kwakhe. Lapho imiphumela iyaduduza, khona-ke ayikho inkinga enjalo, umuntu uhamba ngokushelela ekuvuthweni. Kodwa uma "impilo ihlulekile", umndeni awuyithandi (nomlingani ebuhlotsheni obungenalutho noma inqwaba yokuhlambalazana), khona-ke ukwesaba okukhulu "kuvulwa": okungazange kwenzeke, akuphilanga impilo yakhe, kodwa intsha, impilo nobuhle akusasekho buyela. Ukwesaba kushukumisela umuntu ukuba asebenze izinto.
Ukuvuselela umuthi
Esikhathini sethu, inkolo yobusha iyakhula, futhi abaningi bethu kuze kube namuhla abakwazi imishado engalingani. Ukubukeka okungenakwenzeka kanye nomzimba ovumelanayo yizinkomba zempumelelo. Indoda endala ezweni lethu ibonakala sengathi ayijabuli: "Ukuguga akuyona injabulo." Ngakho-ke, abantu bazama ukugcina ubusha babo ngamandla abo bonke. Futhi lo mshade naye ungomunye "wehange" wakhe. Ngenxa yalokho, umdala osemusha, uqala ukuhlala njengomyeni osemusha, nangokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, nangokwengqondo. Uma umfana osemusha ebheka umyeni wakhe njengenduna, noma umlingani omncane kumfazi, njengendlovukazi engatholakali, khona-ke kuyoba umshado ojabulisayo. Kodwa kuphela ngaphansi kwesimo: "omncinyane" kunoma yikuphi okwenzekayo akakwazi ukukhula, cishe alingana. Emva kwakho konke, khona-ke uhlelo luyabhujiswa, ngenxa yalokho umshado onjalo, eqinisweni, wadalwa.
Izimo zokuphumelela
Noma iyiphi inhlangano enjalo ingaphumelela kakhulu. Emishadweni enjalo, "okungaphezu kokusebenzayo" futhi "okungafaneleki" kuhlangene kahle. Kungaba nokukhathazeka ngemali, iminyaka, isimo senhlalo. "Nedofunktsional" sonke isikhathi esama ukuthola okuthile kumngane womshado, futhi "okubaluleke kakhulu" kuzama ukwabelana nje. Ngokwesibonelo, insizwa ingathola okuningi kumfazi ovuthiwe. Kubalulekile ukuthi ibhalansi yamandla igcinwe.
Inzalo ye-Mercantile
Ngokuvamile ubudlelwane obunjalo bubonakala njengomshado olula. Ukuthembeka kwemizwa akulona iqiniso. Ngomfazi osemncane babona u-Alfonso. Futhi lokhu akuwona nje umbono wabanye. Owesifazane ophumelelayo ohlakaniphile futhi uyazibona ukuthi kulesi simo "ungumthengi": "Ngininika imali yami, kodwa unginika ukuzethemba, ubusha, ubuhle." Uma ushada noma ushada nendoda ecebile, imali ibonakala njengento ehlukanisiwe. Futhi kulokhu, akanamalungelo okulahlekelwa le mali. Ngakho-ke, ngingathanda ukusho ukuthi imishado engalingani esikhathini sethu ayisimangazi muntu, ngakho-ke, ngisho neningi lezinkanyezi ze-pop zakhiwe emishadweni engalingani. Uma ungeyena osemncane, uneminyaka yakho ineminyaka engama-25 ubudala, futhi ufuna ukugcina ubuhle bakho nokukhangisa kubantu abakuzungezile, ukushada ngesibindi - umshado ongalingani uyokwenza amaphupho agcwaliseke. Ukuze uthole injabulo nokumamatheka, intsha engunaphakade ingaba lula, futhi umshado ongalingani uyindlela yokuphumelela iningi labantu abavuthiwe.