Imithetho yabazali ekukhuliseni izingane


Izingane zibonakaliswa ngabazali nobuntu, obumba umlingiswa ngezenzo zabo, impumelelo nokuhlukunyezwa. Ngabe sikulungele kangakanani ukusekela ngesikhathi? Cabangela amathiphu amakhulu nemithetho yokukhulisa izingane kubazali.

Ukuvikela izithakazelo zengane yakho futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo kumthonya ngezemfundo, isibonelo esifanele nesilungile ngumsebenzi obalulekile ekukhuliseni izingane. Kodwa akulula ukwenza. Okungenani ngoba ngezikhathi ezithile, umphumela wokubukela emuva nokulalela umbono womphakathi ubangelwa. Njengoba, njengobulungiswa obuphakeme, kudinga isinqumo esingenasimo nesingenasinqumo. Kodwa izingane, izinyathelo zabo, ukoma, amaqhinga akuzona ubugebengu, ngokuzithandela nangokukhethekile. Futhi elinye lamathuluzi amaningi ukwazi leli zwe futhi uthole indawo yakho empilweni, emphakathini, isimo. Lokhu kuhamba phambili kunokwenzeka kakhulu futhi kungenxa yokuzimisela kwangaphakathi abazali abafaka kulo mntwana. Waba nesibindi njengoba ayeqiniseka futhi engaqiniseki ezisekelweni zakhe eziyinhloko, izintambo zezwe lakhe-abazali bakhe. Kungabantu abadala emehlweni abantwana abenza njengemigomo eyisisekelo lapho umhlaba wonke wakhiwe khona futhi isipiliyoni sempilo siqoqa. Futhi manje ake ucabange ukuthi ngosuku olulodwa, umzuzwana, ngesikhathi noma ngemuva kwalesi sigameko, lezi zisekelo ziwa. Kanjani:

• Noma yisiphi isigameko engxenyeni yengane sinomthelela kuye njengezinqumo zokuhlaselwa, okuholela enqenqeni yokuvinjelwa nokulawulwa okuqinile.

• Ukulinda ilebula lomgqugquzeli kanye nomphathi oyinhloko kulokho akwenzile, kusikisela ukuthi ingane ingaba necala ngalokuphelele. Njengoba ukhula, le nkolelo izokhushulwa kangangokuthi umuntu omdala uyoyesaba izenzo, ngisho nokuqala kakhulu noma okuhloniphekile. Kusobala ukuthi ulahlekile.

• Ukuphindaphindiwe nokuhlukumezeka okungenakubekezeleka, lapho umthamo womntwana elamukelwa ohlangothini lwakhe, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba avele kumuntu wesithathu, ongaphandle, njengoba ukuziphatha kuqala nge-caveat: "Futhi abantu bayothini?", "Uma ungajezisi manje, bayongibheka ngenxa yomzali ongakhathaleli, uzolahlwa. "

• Ukuhlukunyezwa, ukungalawulwa, okwenza ukuziphatha ekukhuleni njengendlela yokuphikisana nokungafuni ukubekezelela isitayela esinjalo sokwakhiwa. Yilokho okwenzeka lapho kubonakala ukuthi izingane ezilalelayo nazo, zikhululekile kunoma yimuphi umuntu omdala onokukhanya kwabazali, ngamaphesenti angu-99% anenkinga yokushintsha kwesikhathi. Maye, bayothinta kakhulu kakade impilo yokuzimela yabantu abadala.

Lezi zimo ziyisiqephu se-iceberg, esingawela ezinqabeni ezinkulu zeqhwa futhi sichitha impilo engaphezu kweyodwa. Emva kwakho konke, uma ukwethemba nokholo ekusekeleni izihlobo eziningi zilahlekile, konke okunye akubalulekile, hhayi okwethusa, okungabalulekile. Ayikho leyo mfanelo futhi ethande ukuthi yiziphi izingane ezivivinya ezomdabu, ezivikela ukuphumula kwazo, impilo, isimo sengqondo.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi abazali abakwazi ukuhlola ngokwanele izenzo zezingane zabo: bayabathanda ngokungenasisekelo futhi bahlale bengaboni kahle. Kodwa akusikho ukwahlulela, kodwa mayelana nothando nokwamukelwa kwengane yakho. Ukulungele ukuphila impilo yakho eduze kwayo, futhi ungahlali impilo ejwayelekile yabantu abadala. Sinjengezingelosi zokulondoloza ezingakwazi ukuhambisa, ukusindisa, ukusekela ngesikhathi sokuthola usizo. Kulungile, uma isebenza, khona-ke kukhona ukuxhumana okunjalo okunengqondo nobuhlobo obunjalo. Eqinisweni, yini izingane ezilindele kithi uma zikhubeka? Izinkinga, izici ezimbi, ukuhlazeka komphakathi - akunjalo. Sebevele besaba, bedikibala futhi, ngandlela-thile, badidekile. Izingane azikwazi ukubala imiphumela kanye nezindlela zokuvimbela izimo ezimbi. Benza imizamo emikhulu yokusebenzisa lolu hlelo, futhi bekhula kuphela, bafunde ukubona izenzo zabo ekuboniseni ithonya kwabanye abantu kanye nedumela labo, imibono nokuhlolwa kwabanye. Konke lokhu kuzoba khona. Okwamanje, udinga ukubekezela nesineke. Zama ukulandela imithetho yokukhulisa izingane:

• Uma usubonile ubufakazi bokuthi ingane isithinte izithakazelo zomunye umuntu, ungasheshi ukuthola ubuhlobo ngokushesha. Isisulu, abafakazi bokuzibonela - lokhu akuzona izilaleli zeshashalazi, ezongena ekusebenzeni. Isikhundla sabo akufanele sithinte izithakazelo zomntanakho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi awunandaba, kodwa ingane yakho ivunyelwe konke. Mane nje emizimbeni futhi ngeso lengqondo ukubamba isikhathi esifanele semfundo impikiswano ngeke isombululwe.

• Yamukela isimo futhi ungenzi sengathi akukho lutho olwenzekile. Ingane kufanele iqonde ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kubangele ukungahambi kahle komunye umuntu, kodwa futhi ngokungaqondile - esiseduze. Kusukela manje, uzofunda ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe kungaboniswa kanjani ngezindlela ezahlukene.

• Ungakhulumi no-prankster emathonjeni aphezulu futhi usebenzisa amandla, noma ungavumeli abanye bakwenze. Kubonakala ukuthi ngesikhathi sokujabula nokuqwashisa kokungalungi kwabo, izingane zingase zishaqeleke. Ukuzwakala komsindo, ukudonsa phansi, izikhalazo ngeke zizwakale. Kwanele intetho yakho eguquliwe, ukuze umntwana aqaphele ukungathí sina kwesimo.

• Ukubuka okuvela kwangaphandle kumntanakho kuyasiza kakhulu. Kodwa akudingeki amukele iqiniso elimsulwa kuze kube yilapho usenza ngokwakho. Lesi isignali esidinga ukuthi wabelane ngokuhlanganyela kwengane.

• Inqubo eningi kangakanani futhi engathintekiyo, engabuhlungu yayikuthola izizathu zesenzo, umsebenzi wakho kanye nomsebenzi wokungavumeli ingane ukuthi iwukuphela kwayo, ayiqondakali futhi ilahlwe. Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwengane kungenakugwemeka, kwenzeke kuwo wonke umuntu futhi kudlule. Kodwa ukuzethemba okulahlekile kubazali angeke kubuyiselwe.

Ungesabi ukuqondisa ingane, ukuze inqume futhi ibhekene nezenzo zabo. Abazali bavame ukubona izingane zabo zincane kakhulu kunabo. Eqinisweni, izingane zikhula futhi zikhule ngokushesha kunemibono yethu ngabo. Yingakho kubalulekile ukunikeza isikhathi sokuxazulula izinkinga zabo. Ukubamba iqhaza kwakho kulokhu ngeke kunciphise, kodwa ukuzethemba komntwana okhulayo kuyanda kanjani. Uzoqiniseka ukuthi uzokwazi ukuxhumana nawe njalo ukuze uthole usizo. Futhi ngeke uthole ukuqonda kuphela, ukuzimisela ukuzwelana, kodwa futhi nombono ovelele ovela ngaphandle. Phela, bazali, njengoba akekho owazi kahle ingane yabo, futhi ngokuziphatha kwabo kubeka umbono wakhe oqondile wezwe.

Isinyathelo ngesinyathelo

Ingabe ukuqhathaniswa okufanelekile kwezenzakalo ezincane kanye nanoma yikuphi ukungaziphathi kahle kwezingane zethu kubangelwa izici zokuvikelwa? Phela, leli gama lisho ukulawulwa nokulindela izimo ezibucayi ngokuphathelene nezingane: ukuphepha emakhaya, ezokuthutha, ezomuntu siqu kanye nocansi. Kodwa thina a priori ngokushesha bafuna ukuvikela, kungakhathaliseki yobudala kanye nendawo. Lezi "zivikelo" zizoqala nini:

Kusukela ekuzalweni . Ungamangali, ngokoqobo kusukela emaminithini okuqala okuphila komntanakho, omama abaningi baphikisana nombono womphakathi ngokunqatshwa kwemigomo, ama-nuances okuzalwa ekhaya, ukungathandi ngaphandle kwemfuno, kodwa ngokusemthethweni ngesikhathi sokuvakashela i-polyclinic, ukunikeza ingane uhlobo oluthile lwemidlalo (isibonelo, intombazane enesibindi esindayo i-athletics).

Ngokuqala kokuqala kwe-sandbox nokuqoqwa kokuhlangenwe nakho kokuxhumana. Ngisho noma ukufafaza ngengozi yesikhala noma isfosholo kushaywe umqhele ongeyiphi ingxabano ebhakedeni kungangena ekudingeni ukuthi "umake kangcono ingane", "ngokushesha unikele ushintsho" noma "thola enye indawo yemidlalo".

Ngokuqala komkhankaso nokuzivumelanisa nezikhungo esikhungweni sokunakekelwa kwengane , lapho ukuhlolwa kanye nezici zengane yakho kuzothululwa kusuka e-cornucopia hhayi kuphela kubafundisi, nannies, nabanye abazali. Kodwa mhlawumbe, abantu obaziyo ozwa ngokuziphatha kwengane yakho kumsakazo wezwi "lomlomo".

Ngolunye ucingo olulinde isikhathi eside noluthinta esikoleni, lapho ukuncintisana okulinganiselwa nokunqotshwa kwegunya lomuntu kuqala kuqala.

Futhi njalonjalo, kuyo yonke impilo kusukela ebusheni kuya eminyakeni eyizinwele ezimhlophe. Ungesabi ngalokhu noma ungene nentshiseko zonke izenzo. Uthando, ukuqonda kanye nesikhathi kuzokubeka konke ngokuhlelekile.

I-Francoise Dolto (i-psychoanalyst, udokotela wezingane ovule umhlaba ngengqondo yengqondo yengane futhi oqala ukuxhuma ukugula kwengane ne-psychosomatics) encwadini yakhe ethi "Ezingxenyaneni Zengane" ngokuningiliziwe futhi ngezibonelo ezisuka kumkhuba utshela ukuthi ungabheka kanjani "ngaphandle kwezingilazi ezinemibala" ebantwaneni bakhe futhi bakwazi ukukhuluma. Kukhuluma, ukuhlaziywa nokuxoxisana okungenangqondo ngesimo esiyinkimbinkimbi esenza kube sobala, hhayi esicacile:

• Kudingekile ukuxoxa ngalokho okukwenzekayo, esikhundleni sokucebisa ukuthi "Vikela!" Indlela yokuzivikela ngokumelene nalowo ohlaselayo, uze ufunde lokhu, ungakhulumi nabo, ungabheke abanye?

• Indima yomuntu omdala ukufundisa ingane ukuthi ingene emphakathini ngenkathi ehlala emndenini. Kubalulekile ukumsiza kulokhu, ukumenza, abe isibonelo esihle. Ukusekela ukuthuthukiswa kwengane, udinga ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani kuso.

• Umdlalo wukuthi kusukela ngesikhathi lapho imbongi encane, ingane ephupha, ehlala ezweni lakhe, iphela ukumbona, amaphethini amiselwe kuye aqala ukuhamba.

• Isitatimende esithi "Usuvele umdala" - udinga ukusebenzisa ngokuhlakanipha. Uma umntwana osemusha esezoba ngumuntu omdala ngempela, khona-ke umuntu omdala ongakabi khona: usadingeka afike nalokhu omdala, amthole ngokwakhe.

• Kunqatshelwe okuningi, futhi ingane izwa njengomuntu ongaziwayo ngenxa yalokhu. Ngeke akhale uma ephiwa indawo empilweni uma evunyelwe kulo.

Uma ulandela okungenani isigamu semithetho yokukhulisa izingane kubazali, ingane yakho izokhula kakhulu evikelwe futhi emele. Uzoqeda iningi lezinkimbinkimbi ezitholakala ezintwaneni eziningi ezinokuphepha.