Izwe lomuntu ngamunye lihlanganisa nabantu abathintana naye futhi obathonya impilo yakhe ebuntwaneni, ekukhuleni, ekuvuthweni. Ukukhula, umuntu uyazikhetha ngokuzungezile nezindlela zakhe zokuxhumana nabantu abahlukene. Kodwa-ke, wonke umuntu uhlanganiswa empilweni yabo bonke abantu, abambona nsuku zonke, abatshela nabo nsuku zonke, kodwa angacabangi ukuthi ukukhulumisana nabo kuthinta impilo yakhe. Kungomakhelwane.
Ngokuvamile, ukukhumbula abajwayelene nabo, bakhumbula omakhelwane endaweni yokugcina, kodwa laba ngabantu abahlala nathi ngokwezwiqobo "odongeni" futhi ngubani, noma ngabe siyayithanda noma cha, kuthinta impilo yethu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyayithanda noma cha. Ake sithole ukuthi ngubani "umakhelwane" futhi unqume ukuthi ungahlala kanjani naye.
"Umakhelwane" osemzini
Uke waphawula ukuthi ngokuvamile lapho ukhuluma ngomakhelwane, abantu abaningi bakhumbula kahle labo bantu abaletha izinkinga - benza umsindo, ukuhlambalaza, ukuhleka, ukukhuluma, njll? Yebo. kanye nomqondo wokuthi "umakhelwane" empilweni yansuku zonke kuyingozi kakhulu, ilayishwa ngamalebula alula okugcina ekugcineni abe isici esinqinile somuntu. Ungumuntu "omubi", "hhayi" wakhe, "omunye umuntu". Empeleni, lokhu akulona ngengozi.
Ososayensi abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa komuntu kumakhelwane uhlala ezindaweni ezijulile ze-Underconscious futhi kuvela ku-Stone Age, lapho umzabalazo wokuphila nokulondolozwa komndeni wafundisa abantu ukuba bahlukanise konke okuzungezile kube "kwabo" kanye "nomunye umuntu". Lokhu kwenzeka lapho kukhona izimpi zokuthola izinsiza, izindawo, inzalo; lapho ukuvela ensimini yomphakathi, okungalinganiselwa ezinkulungwaneni zamakhilomitha-skwele, waba yisihambi. Futhi ngokuqondile ngoba izazi zezenhlalo, zithi, kumuntu wanamuhla, ngenxa yokuntuleka kwezimpi, kuyadingeka ukuba kuqaliswe lokhu kuhlaselwa ngaphandle ngendlela yokwakha isithombe sesitha. "Siphumula ekhaya" "bahlala", "sigubha usuku lokuzalwa -" "bahamba kusukela ebusuku kuze kube sekuseni," senza ukulungiswa uma kuneminithi yamahhala - "bamba" imini nobusuku, "" njalo uphendule icala - "bona" banamathela ekhaleni labo.
Kungokwemvelo ukuthi uma ungena endaweni entsha, ngisho nesikhashana, umuntu uqale ukuhlola izinga leengozi yemvelo nabantu abazohlala nabo. Ngokungazi kahle, sinamathela ngokuqondile emfanekisweni ocacile kakhulu futhi, njengokungathi, senza isinqumo esithi "uyosivimbela ukuba singaphila."
Nala elinye icala elivamile, abaningi abazozibona besesimweni, okungamangalisi. Okungcono kakhulu - kuzoba lula kuwe ukuqonda umqondo esizama ukuwadlulisela kubo bonke abafundi. Ngakho-ke, ukubuyela ekhaya emva komsebenzi, ukhathele, ukuphupha ukuphumula, ukuphonsa yonke imicabango ekhanda elixakile, sivumela ukucabanga kwethu okunengqondo ukuze sinikeze izindlela zethu zokuqala, ngakho-ke kuvamile ukuthi ngomsindo omncane i-wrestler nomvikeli bavuka kithi. Indlu yami iyinqaba yami. Indlu yindawo lapho siphumula khona. Kuphela ngokungafani nomphakathi oyimfihlo ezweni lanamuhla, kanye nomakhelwane bethu, asihlukanisi imingcele yendawo esemthethweni, kodwa emphakathini-engokwengqondo - "ukuphila kwethu" / "ukuphila kwabo".
"Umakhelwane wami"
Ngaphandle kwezinqubo zokuzivikela ezithuthukile, sizizwa sisengozini kuzo zonke izinhlobo zamathonya futhi ngaphakathi kwethu, njengokungathi, siyaqaphela, siyavuma ukuthi kukhona "ongasivimbela ekuphumuleni", "angasivimbela ukuba siphile," siyazivumela ukuba sibe okuthile okucindezelweyo. Futhi uma "sivikela," silwa, "bazama", "ungacabangi" mayelana "nathi".
Yebo, "angakuvumeli empilweni yabo, ngakho kungani uvumela" bona "emicabangweni yakho, empilweni yakho, ekuvumela ukubhubhisa ukuthula kwakho? Khumbula amahostele omfundi, athule ngo-3-4 ngehora ekuseni. Amaqembu eDisco, izingane zakamakhelwane, abangane kanye nezintombi zomakhelwane, izingane ezisanda kuzalwa, ukufuna izinkulumo ezingapheli nokubonisana, ukukhuluma "ngokungenzi lutho" futhi naphezu kwezimo ezinjalo, abaningi balele, bafundela ngokugcwele, futhi baxoxwa ngokukhululekile nabanye abantu. Futhi izingane ezikhulile ehostele ezingakwazi ukulala ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo zokukhanya nomsindo? Benza kanjani lokhu? Iqiniso liwukuthi, lapho uhlala endaweni ehostele, umuntu uyazi ukuthi yini elindeleyo futhi uyakwamukela lokhu okuyiqiniso, uyakwamukela abantu abahlala khona, ngendlela abahlala kuyo. Ekugcineni, ngemuva kwakho konke, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi yikuphi uhlobo lokuxhumana olukhethayo nabantu.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kukhona into efana phakathi kwakho, yini ehlanganisa wena, futhi kukhona imithetho, amakholomu kanye nemfihlo, mayelana nokukhona okungenani wonke umuntu owaziyo. Dlulisa lokhu empilweni yakho. Yini ofana nayo nomakhelwane bakho? Indawo evamile, ukungena okuvamile, indlu evamile, igceke elivamile. Yilokho okwenza omakhelwane "bethu" maqondana nabantu abavela kwamanye amasayithi, izindlu, ukungena. Futhi wonke umuntu ohlala eduze nawe une-biography ehambisana nalendlu, indlu, emgwaqweni. Indlu nomgwaqo lapho uhlala khona. Yebo. futhi wena "bi" yabo siqu. Akekho ozophuma endaweni ehlala kuyo futhi agijimise, ashintshe izimpilo zawo empandeni, ngoba nje "kukhona okusivimbelayo"? Futhi ukugijima kuphi? Kuye "okunye", "abantu abangajwayelekile"? Ngakho-ke, ukuqala, ukwenza ukuphila kube lula, udinga nje ukwamukela ukuthi wena nomakhelwane wakho munye umphakathi. Naphezu kwemibono yabososayensi abaningi mayelana nobudlova obunjalo, umlando ubonisa ukuthi ayikho imidwebo yamadwala ebonisa noma yini eyobonisa izingxabano ezedlule phakathi kwabantu. Ngalezo zikhathi kwakukhona imibono yomphakathi womhlaba nayo yonke imithombo yemvelo. Njengoba usamukele umphakathi wakho, usuvele uwenzile ingxenye yengxabano. Manje, kakade ngaphakathi kwalesi sikhala esivamile, ungabeka imithetho.
Imithetho yokuphila okusemthethweni
Ukuhlala ngokuthula nomakhelwane
Imithetho yangaphakathi, okuyinto abantu ngokwabo abasekela ekukhulumisaneni kwansuku zonke komunye nomunye - i-label. Le yimithetho abaningi abazi futhi bayigcine - hhayi ukudala imisindo eqinile hhayi nje emva kuka-23.00 kuphela, kodwa nasemini, baxwayise omakhelwane uma ukulungiswa kuhlelwe noma izivakashi eziningi zifika ekugubheni usuku nokuthi lokhu sekuzophela nini. Futhi, ungakhathazeki nomakhelwane ngezicelo ezivamile zokusebenzisa ifoni, ukuboleka usawoti, ungabonisi isithakazelo ngokweqile empilweni yangasese, futhi uma kufanele uphathe isicelo, khona-ke ungangena endlini futhi ungayitholi kalula uma inqatshelwe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuhlanza izitebhisi bese ushintsha ama-bulb ashisa.
Ukubaluleka okukhulu ekuhlaleni kanye nomakhelwane kudlalwa ngokuqwashisa kwakho ngendlela yokuphila, umndeni wabo. Kubalulekile ukwazi lokhu njengenhlonipho empilweni yomunye umuntu futhi njengenhlangano yokuxazulula izinkinga ezihlangene. Kusukela ezinkingeni zokuthuthukisa ikhaya lakho kanye negceke kanye namacala lapho wena noma omakhelwane bakho ngelinye ilanga kufanele baphendane omunye nomunye usizo lomuntu siqu. Phela, kunezimo lapho omunye wezihlobo ewela, futhi emnyango lapho uhlala nodokotela ongasiza emaminithini okuqala. Noma ungadinga usizo oluphuthumayo uma, isibonelo, ipayipi iphuka. Kulula futhi kunokwethenjelwa ukufaka isicelo kubantu abajwayele ukudlula abantu abangabazi.
Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu uma uhlangana ukuze ubheke ukuhlakanipha nokuhlonipha. Uma unquma ukujwayelana kuqala, njengendlela yokukhetha, ungamema umakhelwane wakho (omakhelwane) ukuba akuvakashele itiye ngomnandi. Ungakwazi ngokuphambene ukuza nomakhelwane, uyithumele, kodwa ungangeni endlini, uma ungamenyiwe. Ungabuzi abantu mayelana nokuphila kwabo, mayelana nokukhuliswa kwezingane kanye nezinye izihlobo ezingekho. Unganiki iseluleko. Futhi ungenzi abangane. Khumbula ukuthi lokhu kungukuvakashelwa kokuhlonipha nokuzijwayeza. Khombisa ukuthi ungubani futhi utshele ukuthi yiziphi izimo ongazincika uma kunesidingo sosizo.
Amacala ajwayelekile lapho abantu bejwayele, uma benesithakazelo esifanayo, bavame ukuhamba. Isibonelo, omama abakhelene nabo abahamba nabantwana kwelinye i-sandbox noma abayeni babo yizimoto. Kulokhu, ukujwayela kwenzeka, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokushesha, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi kunzima kakhulu. Ngoba ngenxa yomphakathi wezithakazelo khona kungaba khona ukukhohliswa kokuhlukaniswa okuphelele kwezithakazelo kanye nakho konke ukuphila, kungase kuvele inkolelo yokuthi umakhelwane wakho usevele engumngani wakho. Ngakho-ke ukuziphatha okungalungile, ukujwayela okungavumelekile, inzalo engavinjelwe ukufunda okwengeziwe ngempilo yomuntu womunye umuntu, isifiso sokululeka okuthile, ukutshela imininingwane yakho, njll. Ungamangali futhi ukhubeke, uma kulokhu uzobhekana nokumelana nezinhloso zakho ezinhle. Isimo sakho ngumakhelwane, hhayi umngane, hhayi isihlobo. Futhi umsebenzi wakho endimeni yomakhelwane ukukwenza ukuze wena kanye nawe ukhululeke ukuhlala nabo. Kwenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwane bomakhelwane buba nobuhlobo obuhle, kepha lokhu kwenzeka kaningi futhi kudinga ukuhlakanipha.
Indlela yokuxazulula ukungqubuzana nomakhelwane
Imithetho yangaphandle ilawulwa ngumthetho, kodwa, ngeshwa, ivame ukuphulwa. Futhi uma uthola kunzima ukungabonakali umculo ozwakalayo ngaphandle kwezindonga, ukunyathelisa nokukhala, uma kulesi simo ungakuthola kunzima ukugxila empilweni yakho, bese uzama ukwenza ngendlela yokulwa, ngokusebenzisa imvume yakhe. Kulesi simo kunezindlela ezimbili: zomthetho nomndeni. Okokuqala, sinquma ukuthi yiyiphi kubo okufanele ayisebenzise. Ukuze wenze lokhu, thola ukuthi ubani ongaphambi kwakho, ukuthi ucabangani, yiliphi iphuzu lakhe lobuhlakani, obani abangabangani bakhe, obani igunya lakhe, okubalulekile kuye, njalonjalo. Uma ungasazi lutho olunjengalokhu futhi ungafuni ngisho nokwazi, ke-ke sincoma ukuthi okungenani singabandakanyi esigabeni sokuqala sokuxoxisana noma yiziphi izidingo futhi sikhulume kuphela ngokuzithoba nangenhlonipho. Futhi-ke, ungasongeli, ungacabangi ngisho, ukuze ungabangeli ukuhlukunyezwa okwengeziwe. Mhlawumbe omakhelwane bakho bavame ukukhula nengane, futhi abazali bahlala isikhathi eside. Kulesi simo, kungcono ukukhuluma nabazali, njengoba uxwayisile ngalokhu kwentsha. Futhi ulinde. Njengomthetho, lokhu kugcina kudlula, izingane zikhula. Futhi omakhelwane bahlala.
Kukhona okukhethwa kukho lapho kuqashwa indawo yokuhlala futhi akekho obhekene nalokho okwenzeka lapho, akuthwali. Iqiniso liwukuthi umnikazi wendawo yokuhlala, ngemuva kokusayina inkontileka, ayinayo le ndlu kuze kube yilapho inkontileka iphela. Abaqashi kanye naye bangase bangakhulumi uma engabathandi. Kanye nomphakathi wabanikazi bendlu abanakho umsebenzi ngalesi simo. Kuhluka okufanayo komakhelwane abanzima kunokwenzeka ukwengeza abantu abanomdakwa ophuza utshwala abangaqondi ngisho nalokho okucelayo, futhi ngisho nangokwengeziwe - abakhumbuli ukuthi ufikile kubo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kunamacala lapho ikholi elilodwa emaphoyiseni lisiza ngombiko mayelana "nabantu abasolisayo" abangena kuleyo ndlu noma abantu ababonakala befuna amaphoyisa. Awazi ukuthi ngubani ohlala khona nokuthi kwenzekani!
Uma omakhelwane benza umsindo bangaziwa noma izingxoxo zokuthula azisebenzi, ungasebenzisa inqubo yezomthetho - ukubiza amaphoyisa. Kodwa kufanele silungele iqiniso lokuthi kuthatha umzamo omkhulu, izinzwa nemiphumela kulindeleke isikhathi eside kakhulu. Ukushaywa ucingo kungcono 02. Ikholi yakho izocatshangelwa kwiphephandaba futhi isicelo sakho sizohanjiswa esiteshini samaphoyisa sendawo, emva kwalokho ukulawulwa kuzokwenziwa - okwenziwe kule sikhalazo. Ungasebenzisa futhi emaphoyiseni ngokubhala, kungcono ukuqoqa (ngemuva kwakho konke lokhu ukuziphatha komakhelwane akuvimbeli kuphela). Isicelo ehhovisi kufanele sibhaliswe nawe noma sithunyelwe ngeposi ebhalisiwe, njengoba sixwayise ngakho. Impendulo kufanele inikezwe kungakapheli inyanga ngemuva kokubhaliswa kwesicelo sakho. Futhi uma unqume ukuhamba ngale ndlela, kufanele uqedele lo mkhiqizo kuze kube yilapho umsindo uvimba nhlobo, ngoba uma uvula, esikhathini esizayo izenzo zakho ngeke zithathwe ngokungathí sina omakhelwane bomsindo noma amaphoyisa aphuma ukuvakashelwa okusemthethweni.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi uhlala nobani nanoma yiluphi ubudlelwane owakhayo, khumbula ukuthi emva kwesikhathi konke lokhu kuzoba yingxenye yomlando, biography yakho yomphakathi. Futhi uma izimo zokuphila zihlukanisa wena, njengokwenziwa komkhuba, kungomakhelwane ukuthi uzohlale ukhumbuza nge-nostalgia efudumele.
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