Ukuze usindise othandekayo enkingeni yakhe, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yimpande yawo. Ungakwazi ukukhipha isakhiwo esiyinkimbinkimbi kuphela uma wazi ukuthi yini eyabangela imbangela yayo yokuqala. Eqinisweni, kungenzeka ukukhulula kalula othandekayo ngokungaqiniseki kwakhe kuye, kudingeka nje ukuthola indlela futhi ungabi nakakhulu isimo.
Ngakho-ke, ungabhubhisa kanjani othandekayo kusuka ezinkingeni eziphansi? Ake sizame ukuqonda lesi simo futhi siqonde ukuthi yini eyabangela ukuyinkimbinkimbi? Ngokuvamile, izinkinga zomuntu ngamunye zivela ebuntwaneni bakhe. Ukuze usindise umfana kusuka ezinkingeni, kubalulekile ukwazi kahle ukuthi wakhula kanjani nokuthi ubuhlobo bakhe bunjani emndenini nakontanga yakhe. Umthandi wakho angase angabeki ukuthukuthela nokufutheka kubazali bakhe. Yilokhu okuyingxenye yamacala abangela ukuzwa okuphansi. Lesi simo senziwa lapho ingane ikhulela emndenini ongaphelele noma ikhula nogogo nomkhulu. Sonke siyaqonda ukuthi umphakathi wezingane ungase unesihluku nakakhulu kunomphakathi wabantu abadala. Izingane azicabangi ngaso sonke isikhathi ngamazwi abo. Uma, isibonelo, umfana engenabo ubaba noma engakhulelwanga ngumama, izinkinga zingabangelwa imibuzo ebuzwa ezinye izingane: uphi uyihlo? Futhi uphi umama wakho? Futhi kungani umama wakho engakuthandi?
Yiqiniso, izizathu zalokhu kuziphatha kubazali bomuntu osemusha zingaba zihluke kakhulu, njengoba zilungile, futhi cha. Kodwa ngokuvamile ingane izwa ingaphelele, idabukiswa abazali futhi ingacabangi, bese iyaqaphela, iqala ukukholelwa ukuthi akekho ongamthanda. Lokhu kuboniswa ekuziphatheni okucasula kubantu abaningi, kanye nesifiso esihlala njalo sokubonisa ukuthi akafanelanga wena futhi awukwazi ukumthanda. Ngokuvamile, ukufakazela lokhu, umfana akacasuli abanye, kodwa umane uziphatha ngokungathandeki kakhulu. Lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi kunzima kakhulu ukubhubhisa. Iqiniso liwukuthi umqondo othi "Angithandi osondelene kakhulu" udliwa ngokujulile hhayi kuphela ekuqapheliseni, kodwa futhi nakancane. Futhi umsebenzi wakho oyinhloko ukukhombisa insizwa: unokuthile okumele uyithande. Kodwa kuleso simo, into esemqoka akukona ukugoba induku. Uma uqaphele kakhulu umfana, ekugcineni uzoqala ukukusebenzisa, futhi lokhu akuvumelekile kunoma yikuphi. Ngakho zama nje ukumbonisa ukuthi akakukhathaleli, futhi usulungele ukumsiza kunoma yisiphi isimo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngeke uxazulule zonke izinkinga zakhe. Laba bafana abanalo uthando olwanele lomama. Ngokuvamile kusuka othandekayo bafuna ububele nokuvikelwa. Zama ukugcwalisa legebe emphefumulweni wakhe, kodwa ungaphenduki ube yizinkukhu, ezithinta udoti. Khumbula ukuthi uyindoda ekhulile futhi kumele axazulule izinkinga zakhe. Kodwa angakwazi ukuza kuwe njalo ukusekela futhi uqiniseke ukuthi ngeke umshiye, usize ngeseluleko nangezenzo, ukusekela nokuqonda kunoma yisiphi isimo. Abantu abanjalo kudingeka baqiniseke ukuthi izihlobo zizohlala zikhulula, ngeke zishiye eyodwa ngezinkinga zayo. Ngendlela, lesi simo sengqondo akufanele sibe kuphela kuwe, kodwa nabangani bakhe abaseduze. Emphakathini wesilisa akuyona into engokwemvelo yokunakekelana, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu kubantu abanjalo. Ngakho-ke, uma ukhuluma kahle nabangani bakhe, ungaboni kahle futhi uxoxe ngokucophelela ngalesi simo bese ubacela ukuba basisekele umngane wabo ngaphezulu futhi bangashayi izindawo ezigulayo, ngisho nokuhleka. Uma ebona ukuthi uyakwazisa kakhulu futhi uyahlonishwa, inkinga izoqhubeka kancane kancane.
Futhi, ukuhlukumeza okuphansi kungabangelwa ukungaqondi nokuhlukunyezwa kontanga ebuntwaneni nasebusheni. Ngokuvame lokhu lokhu kwenzeka ezimweni lapho ingane ihlakaniphile kunalabo abakhula nabo, ayikho imikhuba emibi, ihlanganyela emibuthanweni futhi ilalele ngempela. Lezi zinkimbinkimbi akulula ukuzicabangela ekukhuleni, kodwa-ke, uma ubona umuntu engcono, azibonakalisa ngokugcwele. Ngokuvamile intsha enjalo izama ukujabulisa abanye ngesikhathi esifanayo futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo zama ukukhombisa ukuthi iyona engcono kakhulu. Lokhu kungabonakaliswa ngezindlela ezehlukene: ulwazi olubanzi ezindaweni eziningi, ezemidlalo, umuzwa wokuhlekisa nokunye okuningi. Ekuzijwayeleni kokuqala kunzima ukubona ubunzima ekuziphatheni komfana onjalo, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uqala ukuqonda ukuthi uqobo uyakhuphuka esikhumbeni ukufakazela ukuthi akabi nakakhulu kunabanye. Ebuhlobo obuseduze kakhulu ngezikhathi ezithile, laba bantu abasha bathi abakakholelwa kubo futhi ngeke baphumelele.
Ukuze usize umfana onjalo, kudingeka uhlale umgqugquzela ukuba afinyelele imigomo angazibeka yona, kodwa wesaba ukuya kubo. Akudingekile ukusho ukuthi nguye ongcono futhi onengqondo. Kodwa ungamtshela ukuthi unamandla okwanele okufezekisa okuthile futhi angayisebenzisa uma engesabi futhi ekholelwa kuye, kanye namakhono akhe namakhono akhe. Futhi, kufanelekile ukumkhumbuza ngokucophelela ukuthi akufanele ubonakale kangcono kunalokho. Enye insizwa kunezimfanelo ezinhle, kudingekile ukuba zihlakulele futhi zifakaze ukuthi aziveli yini ngokuziphatha okungavamile, kodwa ngezenzo. Futhi, yiqiniso, lo mfana kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi abone ukwesekwa kuwe. Uma umuntu eyazi ukuthi umuntu uyamthanda ngobuqotho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzokwazi ukuzithanda yena futhi amukele ukuthi ungubani, kunalokho angathanda ukuba khona.