Uma owesifazane nomdlwenguli bejwayele ukujwayele, leli qiniso alikwazi ukulawula ukuphoqeleka. Kodwa-ke, lesi simo sihlolwe ngezindlela ezahlukene, isibonelo, sichazwa ukuthi uma owesifazane ekhuluma nomuntu isikhathi eside, khona-ke angangena ekukhulumeni okujulile naye. Amadoda amaningi akholelwa ukuthi uma bememeza owesifazane endaweni yokudlela futhi akhokhele ukwelapha, wabe esavumelana ukusondelana.
Izisulu zokudlwengula noma ezinye izihlukumezi, njengomthetho, zithola ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo eside. Ukwethusa okuvame ukuqala ubudlova, ngokwakho, kubangela ukucindezeleka okukhulu. Uma owesifazane enganqatshelwa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuphindisela, umthelela omubi empilweni yakhe wanda.
I-DIAGNOSIS: UKUYISWA KWEZIMVUMBA
Odokotela-izifo zengqondo bayazi izibonakaliso eziningi zesimo esibucayi esibhekene nabasolwa nodlame. Banoba nesifiso esibi kakhulu futhi iphupho, ezinye iziphambeko zokuziphatha ziphawulwe, ukukhohlwa okwesikhashana kungenzeka, kunzima ukuba bagxile. Cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi owesifazane ufuna ukusekelwa kwabanye. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, uvame ukuqala ukuzitshela ukuthi akazange amelane nokuphikisana nomdlwenguli ... Vala abantu akufanele bamsekele kulo mbono, ngoba esimweni esibucayi akunakwenzeka ukucabanga yonke imiphumela, kodwa onamandla kakhulu futhi onamandla kakhulu owesifazane usabuthakathaka kunomuntu.
Kodwa-ke, ngokuvamile sithola iqiniso lokuthi konke okuphambene nalokho. Ngezinye izikhathi baze bahlabelele ngesisulu sodlame, bathi, kwakudingeka "baphumule futhi bajabule." Uma owesifazane omdala ongashadile ehlukumezwa, abaningi babuza ukuziphatha kwakhe futhi basolwa ngokuqondile ngalokho okwenzekile. Uma lo wesifazane oshadile, umamazala nomyeni wakhe bavame ukungabi "abameli" abangabazi "ummeli". Ekuqaleni, kubonakala sengathi ubonisa isihawu kulowo ohlukumezekile, abese eqala ukufuna izizathu zokumsola futhi aqinisekise umdlwenguli.
UBANI OYAFUNEKA?
Izibalo zithi cishe ingxenye yesithathu yalabo abadlwenguli baneminyaka engaphansi kwengu-16. Ezinganeni nasebancane, ukusabela okuyinhloko kubudlova kufana nabantu abadala, kodwa futhi kubonakala izimpawu ezengeziwe - ukuphazamiseka ebusuku, ukungahambisani nomzimba, njll. Intsha eningi inamahloni kakhulu; bakhathazekile ngesimo sengqondo sontanga kubo, abanye bahlakulela ukusabela okwesaba lapho ebona umdlwenguli noma indawo yokudlwengula.
Emindenini lapho izisulu zihlala khona (kokubili amantombazane nabafana), isimo sengqondo sabazali kubo sivame ukungalungi. Ngakho-ke zikhona izingxabano ezihlukahlukene. Umama angamjezisa indodakazi yakhe - athi, "uyisola konke". Abazali abaningi benqabe noma abakwazi ukunikeza ingane yabo usizo lwezingqondo, besaba ukukhangisa ngakho-ke akuboni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuphendukela ochwepheshe usizo.
Ngokuvamile kunalokho, abesifazane abasha abangashadile abaneminyaka engu-17 kuya ku-24 baba izisulu zobudlova ngokocansi. Kule minyaka yobudala, iningi lazo alingazi kahle impilo, alinakulinganiswa ngokwanele ezinkingeni zobuhlobo phakathi kwabantu futhi kungaphoqeleka ukuba kube lula ukuxhumana.
UKUPHILA KUYAQALA ...
Kukhona ukulandelana okuthile kokuphendula kwesifazane ukudlwengula. Isigaba sokuqala sibonakala ngezibonakaliso zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo (ukushaqeka, ukungathembi, ukuziphatha okungavamile). Owesisulu akafuni ukukhuluma ngalokho okwenzekile, akakwazi ukunquma ukutshela izihlobo zakhe, odokotela, amaphoyisa. Ukugxila enecala kanye nemibuto eminingi: bazosondela kangakanani emphakathini, ngabe ngabe ukhulelwe, ngabe ngabe usulelekile yini ngesifo sofuba, njll.
Isigaba sesibili - ukujwayela kwangaphandle - kuqala emva kwesikhathi. Ukuhlaselwa kokuqala kwezinkinga zokukhathazeka. Ukuzama ukunqoba izinkumbulo ezedlule futhi kuphinde kubuyele ukuzithiba ngaphakathi, owesifazane angabuyela endleleni yakhe yokuphila futhi aphile njengokungathi inkinga isisombulule.
Noma kunjalo, isigaba sesithathu sibonakala - ukuqashelwa kanye nemvume, okungenzeka ingabi nakwazi kokubili isisulu yena nezihlobo zakhe. Kulesi sigaba, ukusabalala kokucindezeleka kanye nesidingo sokuxoxa ngalokho okwenzekile. Owesifazane oye wahlushwa udlame uyaqaphela ukuthi umuntu kufanele ajwayele lesi sigameko futhi axazulule imizwa engqubuzanayo kumdlwenguli. Abaningi abesifazane abanjalo bazimisele ukusiza ezinye izisulu zobudlova.
Owesifazane oshadile angakha isimo esiyinkimbinkimbi esicindezelayo. Ngenxa yokuthi ayikwazi ukuzivikela, uqala ukwesaba ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukuvikela izingane zakhe. Ngaphandle kwalokho, owesifazane wesaba ukuthi umyeni wakhe uyomshiya.
KUNGANI I-PSYCHOLOGIST?
Ukudlwengula kuholela ekuguleni okukhulu kwengqondo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubuhlobo nomyeni wakhe buvame ukushintsha, akuyona into engavamile ukuba imindeni ihlakazeke ngemuva kwesigameko. Kunzima kakhulu ukubikezela zonke izici ezimbi ukuthi isisulu singabhekana nazo.
Ngemuva kombiko wokudlwengula, owesifazane uthathwe ekulawuleni abasebenzi bezokwelapha kanye namaphoyisa. Isifiso sakhe sokuqala ukuzizwa uphephile, uvikelwe yinoma yimuphi umuntu. Ukuze umsize, abantu abanezici ezihlukahlukene nobuhlobo obuhlobene - ummeli, udokotela, isihlobo esiseduze, umngane noma umngane. Esiteshini samaphoyisa noma ehhovisi likadokotela, isisulu kumele sithole ulwazi mayelana nezenzo zakhe ezengeziwe. Lokhu kuzomvumela ukuba ahambe - ukwenza izinqumo ezidingekile ngokuzimela noma ukuxhumana neziphathimandla ezifanele.
Ngaphakathi komuntu ngamunye osinda ebudloveni, ulwandle lwezingxabano luyaxolisa - abesifazane abahlukunyezwayo nobudlova kunzima kakhulu. Yena, njengomthetho, udinga usizo oluphuthumayo kwengqondo, kwezinye izimo angeke akwazi ukwenza ngaphandle komsebenzi osenesikhathi eside nomuntu wezengqondo. Umsebenzi walo oyinhloko ukubuyisela isisulu ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka empilweni evamile. Kumele kucatshangelwe ukuthi umthelela omubi wokudlwengulwa ufakwa kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila komuntu oyisisulu - ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, ezenhlalo, ngokobulili.
Ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa, owesifazane angaba nezinguquko eziphawulekayo zobuntu ezithinta kakhulu umsebenzi wakhe, isifundo, ubudlelwane bomndeni. Izisulu zingase zenze imizamo yokuzibulala, ukuthuthukiswa kokudakwa ngokweqile, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukucindezeleka kwengqondo, kanye nezifo ze-somatic. Usizo lokuqala lwezengqondo kumuntu ohlukunyezwe ngodlame lunganikezwa ngama-hotlines efonini, asebenza ngehora emadolobheni amakhulu.