Yingakho isimo sabo sengqondo esibi singabangeli noma yikuphi ukuzwelana. Sivame ukukubiza ngokuthi "ama-whims nje" futhi usiye nganoma iyiphi indlela efanelekayo futhi efinyelelekayo. Empeleni, kuthiwani ngokuphazanyiswa kwemizwelo, lapho impilo yonke iqukethe ukudla, imidlalo nokuhamba? Ingabe ikhona isizathu sokucindezeleka noma ukucasuka komntwana oneminyaka eyodwa (ubudala, oneminyaka emithathu ubudala)? Kukhona. Futhi, endleleni, cishe iyafana neyethu. Indlela yokuxazulula le nkinga, thola ku-athikili ethi "Imoya yengane, isimo sengqondo somntwana."
Kancane kakhulu
Lapho uneminyaka engaphezu konyaka, ukukhathazeka kwengane kwengane kunzima kakhulu ukubona. Phela, kuboniswa kuphela ngendlela eyodwa - ukukhala. Okusho ukuthi, njengalamba, ubuhlungu, ukukhathala, ukuphazamiseka okuhambisana namapayipi amanzi noma izingubo ezigqokile kuboniswa. Kodwa-cha. Eqinisweni, ukukhala uma kunesimo sengqondo esibi kuyohluka ngokukhala kwezinye izinhlobo. Kuyinto ekhudlwana, ephansi ithoni, enesizotha futhi ebulalayo. Uma, ngaphandle kwalokho ingane iphilile ngokuphelele, uzwa ukukhala okunjalo, ungangabazi: ingane ayikho emoyeni. Ubani owazama ukuphazamisa isimo sengqondo esinjalo? Mhlawumbe, nguwe-nakuba-ke, akukwenziwanga ngokuqondile futhi hhayi ngokuqaphela. Izingane ezincane zizwela kakhulu emoyeni womama, zithatha zonke izinsizi nezinjabulo. Kunombono wokuthi ngisho nokwakheka kobisi lwebele kuhlukahluka ngokuya kwemizwa, ngakho-ke ingane idla ngokomzwelo imizwa yakho. Ngandlela-thile, kufanele sivume ukuthi omama nezingane bajabule, bejabule ngakho konke okwenzekayo, futhi bazolile, balinganise futhi bajabule. Uma umama ekhathele kakhulu ukuba angathokozi, futhi njalo uhlangabezana nokukhathazeka, ukukhathazeka, khona-ke ingane ayikwazi ukulindela okukhethekile. Izingane ezinjalo zivame ukukhala ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo, zikhohlisa kuphela ezandleni zabo. Lokhu kuphazamisa ngokwengeziwe isimo sengqondo somama wami, usuke esithumela kakhulu imizwa emibi kumntwana - ngokujwayelekile, kuvela umbuthano ononya.
Ngendlela, omama ngokuvamile baveza isimo sabo: "Isiyingi esivaliwe. Angikaze ngicabange ukuthi ngemva kokuzalwa kwengane konke kuyoba kubi kakhulu. Ngihlale ekhaya, ngilindele umyeni wami ukuba abuye futhi angisize, futhi uthi ukhathele futhi angeke aphumule ekhaya, ngoba kukhona ukuthuka yonke indawo. Yiqiniso, siphikisana, futhi isimo sengqondo esivela kulezi ziphanga nakakhulu. Ngingajabula kanjani nengane uma ngifuna ukukhala njalo? Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngiyazi kahle ukuthi kusasa kuyoba okufanayo. Ngikhathele kakhulu, khona-ke ngizobiza umyeni wami, sizokuhlambalaza, ngizobe ngidwengula ingane ... "Ukuvuthwa, ukulahlekelwa umqondo, ukungakwazi ukujabulela lokho okuvame ukuzijabulisa - lezo zimpawu zibonwa kuma-80% abesifazane emva kokubeletha (amathuba abo akhula ngobudala kanye nenani lokuzalwa) futhi, nakanjani, liphinde ligxile ekukhulumisaneni nomntwana ngisho nangomlingiswa wakhe wesikhathi esizayo. Izingane eziye zabhekana nokucindezeleka kwemizwa kamama zisencane nazo ziyakhathazeka, zithandelwe ekutheni zibeke ithemba, futhi zibhekene nobunzima obunzima bokuphila. Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuthuthukisa isimo sakho sengqondo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka - wena nomntwana. Okokuqala, engeza impilo enhle empilweni yakho nayo. Akunzima kangaka, uma ukhumbule ukuthi impilo iqukethe izinto ezincane. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ngisho nokuhamba, ungaya ezindaweni ozithandayo, uxoxe nalabo abomama abajabule futhi bakukhokhise ngethemba. Okwesibili, hlela izingxoxo ze-psychotherapeutic. Cha, ngenxa yalokhu akudingeki uhambe noma yikuphi futhi ubhalisele i-aphoyintimenti ngolwazi. Njengomuthi ozoba ngumntwana wakho. Utshela konke mayelana nomzwelo, imicabango mayelana nokuthi kungani. Ungakwazi ukukhononda ngabantu abangaboniyo nxazonke (bukela izinkulumo kuphela), ungahlanganyela izinhlelo zakho. Izingane zihle kakhulu ekulaleleni futhi ziyamangalisa ngokumangalisayo. Baphinde baphumelele, futhi, uma bethola ukuthi akukho macala enhliziyweni yakho, ukuthi kwenzeke nje. Futhi umama uyaba ngcono - inkinga, njengoba sazi, iyanciphisa kakhulu. Ngendlela, lokhu akuyona indlela entsha nhlobo. Emasikweni amaningi, omama bahlabelela i-lullabies eyakhelwe usuku (ezinkolweni eziye zagcina isimiso sendabuko, ngakho-ke manje), ngakho konke okwenzekile, mayelana nokukhathazeka. Kwakucatshangwa ukuthi abantwana, ngaleyo ndlela, bazizwa beyingxenye yomndeni bese bekhula bezolile.
Kusukela kumunye kuya eminyakeni emithathu
Ingane ikhula, nolwazi lwakhe lwezwe, izidingo zakhe, umbuthano wokuxhumana ukhula njalo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ikhono lakhe likhulu kakhulu: angakwazi ukuhamba, ukukhuluma nokuzizwa ekhululekile ngokuphelele, ngakolunye uhlangothi, usengaphansi kokulawula njalo futhi kaningi akakwazi ukufeza isifiso sakhe. Ngokuvamile, isizathu esiyinhloko sesimo sengqondo esibi asiqondi kahle. Esinye isizathu ukulahlekelwa okuthile okubalulekile. Futhi kubalulekile ingane - lokhu akuyona into efanayo nomuntu omdala. Ingane eneminyaka emibili ingakwazi ukuhambisa isihlukaniso sabazali ngokuphepha, ishiya umndeni kayise, kodwa kuyoba nzima ukuhlala ekulahlekelweni kwamathoyizi akhethandayo. Ukufa kukagogo ngeke kubonwe ngendlela ephawulekayo njengoba, isibonelo, ukuhamba komama nsuku zonke emsebenzini. Lesi sici se-psyche sivumela izingane ukuba zizivikele ezihlangenweni ezinzima kakhulu, zikhohlwe izigameko zobuntana. Enye incazelo elula futhi eyamukelekayo yalesi simo yenza ingane ikwazi ukulungisa umbono wakhe wezwe. Uma kusekhona umuntu okhathalelayo futhi othanda, ngakho konke kuhambisane. Futhi konke mayelana nezinto ezincane (okuyizinto ezincane kithi) ingane ingakhalela isikhathi eside futhi ingahlali kahle. Kuze kube yilapho esezikhandla bese elala. Ukuletha izingane kulesi simo akufanelekile, kodwa akukho phuzu okwesabisa nokucingo.
Ukukhala kuyindlela yabo yokuphendula imizwelo, ukulahla konke okubi. Njengomthetho, emva kwesiphepho esinjalo sezinyembezi, umntwana ovusiwe uzizwa kangcono kakhulu futhi ulungele ukudlala ngenhliziyo enhle (nakuba abazali sebephelile kakade ngalesi sikhathi). Ngaphezu kwalokho, kule minyaka yobudala ingane ifunda izindlela ezahlukene zokuxhumana nabantu abadala nabangane. Uma eqonda ukuthi ukukhala kwakhe kuthinta abantu ngenhlanhla, uzosebenzisa lesi sikhali ngokucophelela. "U-Nastya akhala. Ukhahlela, futhi kubi kakhulu. Akekho umuntu oyedwa ongahlala enganandaba nalezi zwi ezililayo, ezikhishwe. Lapho ehluma esitolo, ngisho nabantu abangabazi bangakulungele ukuthenga konke akufunayo. Ekuqaleni akazange akwenze ngenhloso, kodwa manje ukhuluma ngokuqondile. Kunendlela eyodwa kuphela yokubhekana nalokhu - ukushiya futhi ungalaleli. Khona-ke uzobe ethule kancane kancane. " Isimo esibi somntwana walesi sizwe asivezwanga nje ngokukhala. Angalala embhedeni ngaphandle kokuphendula okunikezwayo ukudlala, angabonakala engenalutho efasiteleni, futhi uma isimo sengqondo esibi sihlanganiswa nokuhlukunyezwa - ukukhahlela nokuphonsa amathoyizi. Noma kunjalo, kubalulekile ukusiza. Yena ngokwakhe akakwazi ukubhekana nesimo sakhe sengqondo isikhathi. Bonisa ukubamba iqhaza okuphezulu, ukubekezela nokufudumala, ngisho noma, njengoba besho, uyasola. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, lokhu akufanele kusho ukuthi kufanele wenze ukuvunyelwa, isibonelo, ukwenqaba ukuvakashela ekhaya lakho, ngoba ingane ngaphandle kwakho kubi kakhulu. Ujwayela iqiniso lokuthi konke okukhona ekuphileni akukhona konke futhi ngeke kube njalo ngendlela ayifunayo. Futhi ukuthi lesi akusona isizathu sokucindezeleka. Ngakho mnike lesi sifundo. Ngaphandle kokushintsha amapulani akho futhi ngaphandle kokuxoxa ngesibindi sesimo sakhe esingalungile futhi, phakamisa futhi uhlezi eceleni. Futhi ngokuvamile udlala nezingane emidlalweni enomsindo, zibafake bese uzibambezela phansi. Futhi ukushaya emuva emuva ngokuvamile kuyindlela ehamba phambili yokuvimbela ukucindezeleka.
Three kuya eziyisithupha
Lapho eneminyaka emibili nengxenye - iminyaka emithathu ingane iqala ukuzimela. Ukhuluma ngaye ngokwakhe "Mina", uba namahloni, ahlasele (uyaqonda ukuthi abanye abantu bangambuka, baxoxe njalo njalo). Ngaphezu kwalokho, unesidingo esicacile sokuxhumana nabangane bakhe, futhi kule ndawo futhi, banezizathu zabo zokubhekana nazo. Ngokuvamile, umntwana osekhulile, kungenzeka ukuthi imbangela yesimo sengqondo esibi ingaphandle komndeni (nakuba ubuhlobo nabazali kusebaluleke kakhulu). Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukwehla kungase kuvele ekuziphatheni: ingane ayisekho ukutshela abazali bayo yonke into. Ngezinye izikhathi akakwazi nje ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukutshela okwenzekile. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, uma ingane ihlaselwa umuntu omdala, umngane noma umfokazi, angeke akhulume ngakho. Emva kwakho konke, umuntu omdala uyigunya, uma ekhala, ke, "ngifanele". Ngakho ukuthola ukuthi yini imbangela yokucindezeleka, isimo sengqondo esibi asilula.
Fundisa ingane ngokungagwegwesi, ukuthi angatshela konke kubathandekayo bakhe. Njalo usekela ingane uma kunenkathazo, noma ngabe isimo sinengxabano. Yebo, ungakwazi ukuxoxa ngakho, thola ukuthi ubani olungile, ngubani okufanele abekwe icala, kodwa - kamuva, kamuva. Lapho ingane ecindezelekile, ecindezelekile, udinga, okokuqala, ekusekeleni. Ngendlela, le mithetho ivumelekile hhayi kuphela kubantwana. Sonke sidinga isimo sengqondo esinjalo sokubandlulula, ukuthi siyathandwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini. Lesi yisisekelo senjabulo emndenini. Uma ngabe ingane ingakatsheli, ungahlolisisi. Ikakhulukazi ngoba imizwelo kule minyaka iyanzima, cishe efana nabantu abadala, ingane ayikwazi ukuqonda kuze kube sekupheleni ukuthi kungani edabukile. Khuluma ngezihloko ezingenakubhala noma ngesihloko sendaba, kodwa ngaphandle kokufuna izizathu. "Futhi uke waba lusizi nini?", "Futhi udabukisayo kangakanani-nje nje usizi noma nje ukuthi ngisho ne-ayisikhili ayifuni?", "Yini okudingeka ukwenze ukuze ungadabuki?" - ingane ingaphendula imibuzo enjalo. Futhi, ngokufanayo, kanye nawe ungathola indlela yokuthuthukisa isimo sakho sengqondo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, okubizwa ngokuthi ukugonywa ngokomzimba kuyasiza kakhulu. Wena ngezikhathi ezithile utshela indaba kusukela ebuntwaneni bakho (umama ohlekisayo, ojeziswe enkulisa, ephikisana nentombi). Indaba kufanele ichazwe kabanzi kulokho okushoyo mayelana nemizwelo futhi ngokuqinisekile ibe nokuphela okuhle. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube nombono omuhle empilweni. Manje uyazi ukuthi isimo sengane, ukulinganisa kwengane.