Ukungabi khona kukababa ingane izwa kakhulu, akugcini nje ukuthi uveza yonke imizwa yakhe ngombukiso. Ingane kaningi ibheka uyise ukuba azilahle, futhi lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi kungaphila naye iminyaka eminingi, khona-ke izinkinga zokukhuliswa emndenini ongaphelele oshiywa omunye wabazali bomntwana ziqala. Izinkinga zomzimba ziphoqa owesifazane ukuba asebenze ngenkokhelo ephakeme, ngakho-ke umsebenzi ophezulu, okunciphisa isikhathi sakhe sokukhululeka sokukhulisa ingane. Ngokuvamile esimweni esinjalo, unomuzwa wokuthi uyedwa futhi ulahliwe, kuhlanganise nomama.
Isikhathi sokuqala ngemva kokuhlukanisa, ubaba uhlangana njalo nomntwana. Kubonakala sengathi izinkinga zokukhulisa ingane emndenini ongaphelele akumele zibe, ngoba ubaba uhlala khona.
Kuye, lokhu kuyomunye umxhwele, ngoba uma upapa emphatha ngothando, ukuhlukaniswa komndeni kuyoba okungaqondakali futhi okubuhlungu kakhulu, ngaphandle kwalokho, ukucasuka kumama nokungathembeki kungase kuvuswe. Uma kwenzeka ubaba ezoxhumana ngokushelelayo futhi ekude, ingane ingase ibe neyinkimbinkimbi yecala ngokungafuni ukuxhumana nomzali onjalo. Kukho konke lokhu, abazali bangaziphindiselela, futhi lokhu kuphula kakhulu ibhalansi yengqondo yengane. Ungazama ukuthola izinzuzo ezingenampilo ezivela ezingxabanweni zabazali bakhe, ebaphoqa ukuba bazikhandle ekuzizwa benecala labazali bobabili.
Ubudlelwane nabangani phakathi kwabantwana bengihlale behla kakhulu ngenxa yemibono ehlukile, ukuhleka nokuntuleka kwesifiso sokuphendula imibuzo ngobaba. Umoya ompofu nemizwa yomama kubonakala nangomntwana, esimeni sakhe esisha kunzima kakhulu kuye ukuqhubeka nokukhulisa ingane yakhe ezingeni eliphakeme.
Yini engayelulekwa kuleso simo ukusekela ukukhuliswa kwengane emndenini ongaphelele? Okokuqala udinga ukukhuluma ngokuthula ngenhliziyo ngokulinganayo, uchaze isimo sonke, wenze ngendlela elula futhi ifinyeleleke, ngaphandle kokusola umuntu. Ukutshela ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka, ngeshwa, kaningi, futhi ukuthi esimweni sakho kuzoba ngcono ngale ndlela. Kubalulekile ukutshela ingane ngobuqotho ukuthi lesi yisinqumo sokugcina, ngaleyo ndlela siyisindise ezinkathazweni ezingadingekile kanye nethemba. Zonke ukuvakashelwa kukayise okungavamile kuzohlale zivuselela umuzwa wokwenqatshwa, ngeshwa, lokhu kungenakugwemeka. Ingane encane ingane iphakathi nesikhathi sokuphumula, kulula kakhulu ukuba ubaba ahlanganyele nayo. Kudingekile ukuzama ukulungisa ingane ngengqondo ngokuhamba kukapapa. Kufanele ugweme ukuthembela njalo kwengane kuwe, udinga ukumsiza ukuba abe ozimele futhi omdala, kodwa ukumsekela ngesikhathi esifanayo. Iphutha elivame kakhulu kule nkinga ukunakekelwa ngokweqile nokulawula phezu kwendodana.
Ngokuvamile umuntu angakwazi ukuhlangabezana namazwi wesifazane: "Nganikela ngakho konke futhi ngahlala ngawe kuphela!" Lena yiphutha eliyingozi abantu abaningi abavumelayo, ngenxa yalokho okusemandleni ukukhulisa indoda engaphenduliwe, engabonakaliyo, engacabangi lapho zonke izinqumo ezibalulekile zithathwe ngaso sonke isikhathi ngumama, izinkinga zokukhulelwa zazivelele empilweni yakhe yomuntu siqu engakaze yenzeke.
Kubalulekile ukweluleka abazali abathile ngenxa yesizathu esithile bafika esivumelwaneni ukuze bacabange kakhulu ngemiphumela eqhubekayo yalesi sinqumo izingane. Ukungavumelani phakathi kwalabo abashadile bangaphambili kunganconywa ngomusa nangokwedlulele uma kufunwa. Akudingekile ukukhombisa inzondo nokungathandeki komunye nomunye. Kungokwemvelo kunzima ubaba owashiya umndeni ukuqhubeka nokukhulisa ingane. Futhi uma kuphakama izimo lapho engenalo ithonya elihle emndenini wakhe wangaphambili, khona-ke kuyoba nokwethembeka ngokwengeziwe ukuqinisekisa ukuthi umkhohliwe nhlobo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ukusiza izingane zakhe ngokwezezimali.
Ukwakhiwa komndeni kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu futhi ebalulekile. Uma abazali bebathanda ngempela izingane zabo, bazozama ukuxazulula ukungezwani kwabo ngesikhathi futhi bangabi nendaba kule nkathi ehlukumezayo yokuphumula komndeni. Ngakho-ke, ngeke babeke izingane ezibunzima kakhulu futhi bazohlanganyela ngokuqhubekayo ukufundisa ezingeni elifanele, bebonisa isibonelo somndeni ogcwele futhi ohlangene. Manje uyakwazi ukugwema izinkinga zokukhulisa ingane emndenini ongaphelele futhi ukuhlinzeka ingane ngokugcwele.