Uninazala nomalokazana-ubuhlobo phakathi kwabesifazane ababili abahlali njalo ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Ngisho nakubuciko bendabuko, ngokwesibonelo, ezenzweni namazwi, lezi zinsuku ezihlukumezayo ziboniswa (umamazala esitokisini, ukuthi inja isendlini, noma-kusuka kumkhwezala uyakunyakazela izinyembezi) lapho umalokazana ehlala emele khona.
Ngokuvamile ezimweni zokuqala zokuphila komndeni osemusha kunenani elanele lezingxabano nomamazala. Ngezinye izikhathi izingxabano azimi iminyaka eminingi. Kunzima umalokazana ukuthi asinde ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo komamazala wakhe, ovela ekuphakameni kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kokuphila, ubheka ukuthi kungenzeka ukuphazamisa empilweni yomndeni osemusha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingxabano eziningi phakathi komalokazana nomamazala zikangenxa yokuntuleka kokubukwa kwemibono ngokulima, ukukhuliswa kwezingane, nokunye okuningi. Futhi ngokusemthethweni, sidinga ukukhumbula iqiniso elidumile - akukho bantu abafanayo emhlabeni, ngakho-ke imibono efanayo.
Yebo, akulula ukuba ngumkhwekazi, kepha uma nje ungapheli ukuba nomhawu kumkakhe. Kodwa konke kungaba kuhle uma ushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo kumalokazana wakho. Yebo, kunzima, kodwa uyinkosikazi futhi ungena endlini, emndenini wakho umuntu omusha. Indlela oyakha ngayo ubudlelwane kusukela ekuqaleni, kuyoba. Thatha lo wesifazane njengokuba uzobe, njengoba nje unakekela indodana yakho. Uyamthanda - ulungile naye futhi uyajabula. Futhi yini enye umama ayidinga injabulo, njengoba ukuqaphela ukuthi ingane yakho ijabule. Yenza indodakazizanazana indodakazi, futhi uzohlale uqaphela zonke izenzakalo futhi ngeke ushiywe wedwa. Phela, usuvele unesithakazelo esifanayo - ukunakekelwa kwendodana yakho, inhlalakahle yomndeni wakhe.
Indlela yokuxazulula ukungqubuzana phakathi komkami nomamazana? Izazi zengqondo ziqinisekile ukuthi ukungezwani phakathi komalokazana nomkhwekazi kuhlangene nokuphikisana okuqhubekayo - Mina noma. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umalokazana wakhe wenzani, uninazala akanjalo. Umshini wokuhlanza utshwala uhlanza okungalungile, awuwususi, ngezwi elilodwa konke kubi. Amantombazane nomalokazana nabo bayalungile uma bezama ukukhipha uninazala, ngisho nangokubonisa intshiseko. Ukuziphatha okungahambi kahle lapho umamazala nomalokazana beqala ukukhononda kumyeni wabo-nendodana ngokumelene nomunye. Ngeke kuholele kunoma yini enhle.
Uma ulalela abesifazane abaye baphila iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-10 emshadweni, kuyacaca ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuthola iresiphi ngqo yobuhlobo bakho. Kumelwe sizame ukuthanda umamazala kuphela, simhloniphe - nguye owabeletha futhi wakhulela indoda yakho ethandekayo.
Inkinga yinkimbinkimbi kangangokuthi kukhona imibuzo eminingi kunezimpendulo. Kuwo wonke umndeni, konke kunqunywa ngendlela yayo. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba umalokazana angene emndenini futhi athathe indawo yakhe, futhi uninazala uzoba nzima ukuvumelanisa nalesi simo. Yiqiniso, lokhu kuwukuphila ngokuhlukile. Kodwa ngisho, hhayi njalo, kuvela, ugcine ubudlelwane obuvamile. Futhi uma umndeni omusha kufanele uhlale ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo nabazali bawo, khona-ke kunenkinga yabesifazane ababili besifazane ekhikhini elilodwa. Futhi emndenini onjalo kunombuzo wokwakha imithetho emisha yokuziphatha, futhi lokhu akulula.
Mhlawumbe isimo esivamile. Owokuqala uhlala omncane ngokwahlukana, futhi umama okhathalelayo uhlale elawula isinyathelo ngasinye. Izintshisekelo zakhe zifinyelele kukho konke - impilo, lapho zizophumula khona futhi zifike embala wephepha lodonga. Futhi uma umkhwekazi onjalo ehlala nabantu abasha endlini efanayo, uzoqhubeka ehamba ngaphandle kokungena egumbini lakho futhi enze noma yini ayifunayo. Sula uthuli, umboze umbhede futhi uphinde ukhubeke, uma kungekho muntu oyakwazisa. Iseluleko esiyinhloko kumalokazanazana kulezi zindawo akufanele ukukhalaza kumyeni wakhe mayelana nonina. Khuluma naye futhi uzwise umbono wakho.
Indoda ayinakukwazi ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabafazi ababili nomama nomkayo, lokhu kuyiqiniso. Kulesi simo, uyilungu elimele, lowo obhekene nokuzikhethela. Uzoba nesaba, kodwa ngeke akhethe. Futhi uma ukukhetha kungenakugwema, khona-ke umshado uzokwehlukana.
Izazi zengqondo zithi - akufanele afike ezinkingeni emndenini ngesisekelo somgomo wecala futhi unecala. Ake sizame ukuqonda, ngoba yiziphi izimo zokuphila ezinenkinga ebuhlotsheni phakathi komalokazana nomkhwekazi.
Abesifazane ababili bokuqala bahlukana nendoda eyodwa futhi yesibili - indawo emndenini, ukusatshalaliswa kwezindima, kukhona umhawu nesifiso sokuqeda umphikisi. Esimweni esinjalo kubalulekile ukuvumelanisa nokuqonda ukuthi iyiphi indawo ehlala kuyo. Kunzima, kodwa kungenzeka.
Nawa amanye amathiphu omamazala, ukuthi ungakugwema kanjani ukungqubuzana. Hlonipha ukukhetha indodana, uyajabula nomkakhe futhi udinga ukumthatha ukuthi ungubani. Zama ukunikeza iseluleko sakho kuphela uma ucelwa ukwenza kanjalo. Nika ithuba losizi omusha ukuthi ayenze, uzoqhubeka ephikisana nombono wakhe, futhi ingxabano ngeke ivinjelwe. Ungalokothi ukhononde ngomalokazana wakho endodaneni yakho. Sombulula konke kanye nomalokazana, yena-ke emva kwakho konke ezingeni lakho unelungelo lokuvota emndenini. Futhi lapho abazukulu bevela, uthola isimo sikagogo. Lokhu kunomthwalo wemfanelo kakhulu, kodwa akunikezi ilungelo lokuthatha imisebenzi yomama. Zama ukuqonda ukuthi awukwazi ukufaka umama esikhundleni somntwana. Lapho uMarlene Dietrich esho: "Uma uzizwa amaphiko ngemuva kwamahlombe akho, unomamazala omuhle" Kuhle uma udadewabo unombono ofanayo.
Futhi umalokazana kufanele enze kanjani, ukuze ubudlelwane nomamazala wakhe bakha. Kumele uqonde ngokucacile ukuthi ungena emndenini lapho kunkosikazi, nemithetho ethile yomndeni, futhi udinga ukufunda ukuthi ungabahlonipha kanjani. Ngesikhathi sokuphikisana, gcina ukulinganisela komphefumulo nokukhuthazela. Ungakhononi kumyeni wakho ngomamazala wakho, lokhu kuvame ukuholela ekuhlakaleni kwesimo. Sombulula ukuxabana wena futhi ungabandakanye umyeni kuwo.
Ungakhulumi nomamazana wakho ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho nomyeni wakho. Ungamangaleli umamazala wakho ekukhuliseni kabi komlingani wakho. Yakha ubuhlobo bakho naye, wakhetha yena. Hlonipha okuhlangenwe nakho kokuphila komamazala wakho ngenhlonipho. Iseluleko sakhe ekwenzeni ibhizinisi singakusiza kuwe. Futhi lapho uzalwa ingane, ngokushesha unqume indawo yakho yokuqala ekukhuliseni ingane. Futhi ungakhohlwa ngenhlonipho ngomuntu omdala.
Indlela yokuxazulula ukungqubuzana phakathi komkami nomamazana? Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukungakhohlwa ukuthethelela nokucela intethelelo. Ubani ohlakaniphile ukwenza lokhu kuqala. Ukuthula endlini kuyisici esibaluleke kakhulu senjabulo yabesifazane.