Omagazini abalukhuni abangenakho ukwesaba futhi bahlambalaza ngokukhululekile izinzuzo zobulili abathathu ndawonye, noma baqonde kahle zonke izinzuzo nezimo eziduduzayo. Cishe zonke izingane zasenkulisa ziyazi ukuthi yiziphi izinsuku ezibucayi, nokuthi yini okufanele ivikele ekukhulelwe okungadingeki.
Sonke sikhululiwe, asisekho amazwi e-sex, ipeni, ukushaya indlwabu. Ukuqaphela ngokocansi kushintshile. Ingabe kuhle, ingabe isimo sengqondo sokuphila obuseduze sashintsha kakhulu? Ngokuvamile, manje umbuzo uphikisana ngokuthi ubulili bungenzeka kuphela ngemva komshado.
Futhi ngokuthakazelisayo, naphezu kokuqwashisa okujwayelekile nokufunda ngokocansi, kuneziphakamiso ezinamandla zokuhlanzeka kwentombi. Laba bantu banamathele ekuziphatheni okuqinile, balinde ngentshiseko isikhungo somshado; abantu abanokholo ngokujulile, abakholwayo abavumelanga ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze ngaphambi komshado. Ingxenye enkulu yabantu, bakholelwa ukuthi ezweni lethu lanamuhla, lokhu akunakwenzeka, akunakwenzeka futhi akudingeki muntu.
Abasekeli bobuhlobo obuhlanzekile, bevikela imfundiso yabo, bancike ekutheni lesi siko asizange sibe khona ngokuzumayo. Sekuyisikhathi eside sekukholelwa ukuthi intombazane ngaphambi komshado kufanele ingabi nasici. Ngalesi simo sengqondo, lomshado ngokwawo uba umcimbi obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni, kunokuba kulabo abasebenzisa amahhala. Mhlawumbe kukhona okusanhlamvu okuzwakalayo kulokhu, kodwa umbuzo usaqhubeka uphikisana.
Uma ukhumbule zonke izikhathi ezifanayo ezidume kakhulu "ezineminyaka ubudala," zingaki imibhangqwana edlale umshado othandanayo? Isimo sengqondo somshado sasiqinile nakuba siphikisana. Ngizocaphuna umngane ngeposi kanye nomphathi we-PI Tchaikovsky, uBaroness von Meck: "Ngibheka umshado njengento engenakugwemeka engakwazi ukugwema, ngakho konke okusele ukukhetha okuhle." Awekho amazwana. Njengomthetho, abamele "ukwakha izindlu" ngokujwayelekile balahla uhlangothi lwezinsizwa zobudlelwano bocansi, echaza lokhu ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuthi aphathe ubulili kuphela njengendlela yokuqhubeka le genus. Yiqiniso, bathule ukuthi ukungabi nobuntombi - lokhu kungenye yezindlela ezinamandla kakhulu zokuzibophezela ngokomqondo umuntu. Yiqiniso, kusho ukuthi omunye wabalingani, ngokuzenzakalelayo - indoda, usenayo isipiliyoni sobuhlobo obuseduze. Mhlawumbe, njengoba ubulili bokuqala nobulili ngokuvamile buhambisana nosizi, kuyisikhumbuzo esengeziwe kuye ngendima ebaluleke kakhulu yamadoda. Yiqiniso, lokhu konke ukucabanga. Kodwa asibeki umgomo wokufinyelela eqinisweni. Vele ufune ukuhlaziya ukuthi isiphi sex emva komshado.
Manje phakathi kwentsha yanamuhla kukhona ukuthambekela, ikakhulukazi emantombazaneni, indlela ethile yokuhlanzeka. Ngokuningi kumaphephandaba, sithola izitatimende ukuthi amantombazane ahlose ukuqala ubudlelwane bobulili kuphela emva komshado. Lapha, izisusa nezisusa azisobala. Iyini isisekelo salenkolelo nenkolelo? Yini eyathonya lokhu okukhethayo: izinkolelo zenkolo, ukukhuliswa komndeni okuqinile, izinkolelo zomuntu siqu kanye nezindinganiso zakhe ngokuphathelene nobulili ngokubanzi. Noma mhlawumbe kungumkhuba wokufashisa, noma isifiso esivamile sokuheha, ngaleyo ndlela, ukuzitholela.
Ingabe amantombazane anjalo acabanga ngalokho okuzokwenzeka emva komshado? Ingabe uyojabula emshadweni nomuntu omthandayo kuphela kule platonic? Kulabo abangaqiniseki kahle ukuthi ukukhetha ukuzithiba ngaphambi kokushada, konke kucacile. Amandla okholo lwawo awavumeli ukuba bacabange ngezinto ezinjengezinjabulo. Futhi noma kunjalo, lapha ukuqonda "injabulo" ngokwalo kuhluke kakhulu kulabo abathi bangabakhululekile. Ngeke sibe ngabazenzisi, kungani sifihla ukuthi kukhona izinzuzo ezingenakuphikwa ngenxa yokuthi ngaphambi kokuba abalingani bomshado babe nokuxhumana okuthintana. Khona-ke empilweni yabo, ngaphandle kokuthandana nothando, kwakukhona ubulili kuphela, hhayi ngaphezu kwendlu yokugaya. Sekule nkathi babesazana, baqonda futhi benza iziphetho ezifanele - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyadingeka yini ukuqhubeka nokuqhubeka nokuletha lolu daba emshadweni. Yilokho okuzuzisayo: ngeke kube khona umndeni owonakele, izingane ezihluphekile ezilahlekile.
Manje umbuzo: kukhona ubulili emva komshado, singaphendula ngokungaqondile. Kwenzeka! Ngifuna ukwenza enye inkulumo encane ngekhwalithi yocansi elinjalo. Ake ucabange ukuthi umshado usuphelile, ngaphambi kobusuku bokuqala bomshado obungaqondakali. Yebo, uma konke kuhamba kahle. Futhi uma umuntu edabuka: umfazi omusha ongcono akwanelisi, futhi iningi lifundisa konke ukuhlakanipha kobulili akufuni. Futhi awukwazi ukuqasha othisha lapha. Isiphetho: kungaba inkosikazi, noma isehlukaniso, noma bonke ndawonye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinomfazi osemusha. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngokuzumayo, ngemva komshado, uthola ukuthi umthandi wakhe unepenseli encane, noma uyashesha ukuqeda. Futhi imizwa yezocansi nokuthandwa kwabanye abantu kungangena nje kungena ku-stupor! Izibonelo zobuningi. Lapha, izingxabano, ukucasuka nokuzisola kuqala, ngenxa yalokho konke - ukuhlubuka, ukukhohlisa nokukhwabanisa. Umkhumbi womndeni futhi ubheke ukuguqulwa. Kodwa konke lokhu kungagwenywa.
Akekho esimweni esikukhuthaza ukuziphatha kabi ngokocansi! Konke okufanayo, kuphezu kwakho: akekho ongakwazi ukukholisa, ukukholisa umuntu oziqhenyayo, ozethembayo. Sivele sibheke ukuthi ubulili bungenzeka yini kuphela emva komshado: izinzuzo nokuqeda le nkinga. Futhi wena, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthatha isinyathelo esinqumayo, udinga ukucabangela ngokucophelela, ukuhlola, ukubala izinga lezinselele. Yebo, futhi "ukusika i-podstelit" akalokothi ubuhlungu. Into esemqoka akufanele igijime - hhayi emicabangweni, noma ngezenzo.