Hlala ubungani
Isehlukaniso sabazali sibhekisa ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo ezinganeni, futhi akunandaba ukuthi ziningi kangakanani ngaleso sikhathi. Ngokwemvelo, umntwana uyazibuza ukuthi kungani omunye umzali eshiya enye. Omncane angase acabange ngisho: "Kuthiwani uma bengishiya?" Abanye ochwepheshe bathi izingane zingazizwa zivamile uma zishiya abazali bazo uma uMama nobaba beqhubeka bezinikela ngokucophelela, njengangaphambili. Futhi abaningi imibhangqwana yokuhlukanisa imilungele ukuthula phakathi komunye nomunye ngenhlalakahle yezingane zabo. Kuphi ukuthambekela kokuhlukanisa "ngendlela enobungane" eya? Okokuqala, lokhu kuchazwa ukuthi izilingo ezinkambisweni zesehlukaniso zinezinguquko eziningana ukuze zivikele izithakazelo zezingane ezinkambisweni zesehlukaniso. Ngakho-ke, ku-28 US uthi imibhangqwana ethatha isinqumo sokuhlukanisa kufanele ifunde izifundo ezikhethekile, lapho ichazwa khona ukuthi ingakugwema kanjani izingxabano futhi ithwale imithwalo yemfanelo ndawonye. Iningi labababa nabamaMama, abadlula ekuhlukaneni kwabazali babo ebuntwaneni, bazame ukuzivikela ekuhlangenwe nakho kwezingane zabo ngesikhathi behlukanisana nabashade babo. Obaba kuleli cala bahileleke empilweni yengane. Futhi le nzuzo inezinzuzo zayo: izingane, ubaba ohlale ekhona, angakwazi ukubekezela kalula ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali babo, kuyilapho abapapa, ngenkathi besondelene nezingane, bafeza kangcono izibopho zabo, kuhlanganise nezimali, ngokuphathelene nezingane. Ukwahlukanisa, lapho abashade abahlala khona behlala kahle, kuyadingeka wonke umuntu: kumama, ubaba kanye nezingane. Amacala uma ukuhlukana kwabazali kulimaza kakhulu izingane, hhayi kakhulu, kodwa imiphumela engafanele ingavela kamuva. "
Ubuhlobo obubi
Ngokuvamile, ukuhlukaniswa komshado (ngisho nobunzima kakhulu) amaqabunga emva kwalowo uqobo ukudumala, intukuthelo, ukufutheka nokucindezeleka. Noma kunjalo, naphezu kobuhlobo obubi, lo mbhangqwana kufanele uvumelane. Yiqiniso, kunzima ukuhlonipha kulabo abafanele bahlukane nezimo ngenxa yezimo, kodwa kubalulekile ukuqala ubudlelwane, ngoba indlela ukuxhumana kuyoba ngayo okokuqala lapho uhlala khona kuyobeka ithoni iminyaka eminingi. Kunezindlela eziningana ezisiza ukwenza isahlukaniso singabhubhise izingane kakhulu. "Mina nomyeni wami u-Ilya sagcina sinquma ukuhlukanisa. Yiqiniso, ngaqonda ukuthi abantwana bethu, u-Masha oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala no-Ivan oneminyaka emithathu ubudala, bangabheka lesi sinyathelo njengenhlekelele, ngoba basithande bobabili. Futhi kwenzeka. Isahlukaniso sathinte ukubuka kwabo emhlabeni, kodwa angizange ngibone ukuthi kungakanani. Ilya kwesokunxele. Izinsuku ezintathu zokuqala, u-Ivan wavuka ngokukhala, uMasha walala, - kusho u-Elena oneminyaka engu-35 ubudala, owahlukanisa nomyeni wakhe eminyakeni emithathu eyedlule. Isikhathi sidlulile, futhi emva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa ngatshela udadewethu ukuthi izingane zazijwayele. Amantombazane abonisa omamawabo imidwebo yabo, futhi yena, ebheka, wathi kimi: "Bheka, yimiphi imibala edidayo nezilwane ezimbi kuzo." Futhi ngabona ukuthi cishe yonke imidwebo yengane ibonisa izilo ezingavamile, futhi ngisho utshani namafu kwakunobumnyama. Iminyaka eyisikhombisa idlulile, futhi kubonakala kimi ukuthi konke kusendaweni yayo efanele. Ngomyeni wangaphambili, sinobambiswano, futhi uhlangana nabantwana okungenani kathathu ngeviki. Nge-Ilya, asifuni ukukhumbula ukuthi yini eyabangela ukuqedwa komshado, kodwa kubantwana bethu lesi sihloko siyadingeka. Bahlale benemibuzo ngalokhu. "
1) Nciphisa izindaba ezimbi
Izingane zizokhumbula ingxoxo yokuqala mayelana nezinguquko emndenini isikhathi eside. Yini ngempela umama nobaba abayitshele, futhi kuyothinta indlela ingane ezozizwa ngayo ngemva kokuba abazali bephule - ngokukhathazeka noma ngokweqile. Kufanele ukhulume nezingane izinsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuhamba kokugcina, kungenjalo ukunyamalala komunye wabazali ngaphandle kokuchaza ngezizathu kungesabisa ingane. Okufanelekile, bobabili kufanele babe khona lapho bekhuluma nengane bese bethi benza lesi sinqumo ndawonye nokuthi kuzoba ngcono kuwo wonke umuntu. Chaza ingane ukuthi umama nobaba bathandana kanjani, kepha manje abafuni ukuhlala ndawonye, ngoba bangavimbela ukuthi bangajabuli. Akudingekile ukwehlisa ukukhulumisana nomntwana futhi wesabe ukukhombisa imizwa yakho - vumela ingane ukuba iqaphele ukuthi kunezimo, njengokuhlukana, lapho umuntu engase abe khona ukucindezeleka. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvumela izingane zikwazi ukuthi ayikho iphutha kulokhu kuhlukaniswa, futhi qiniseka ukukukhumbuza ukuthi womabili usamthanda futhi ungalokothi udikibale, ngisho noma kufanele uphile ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene. "
2) Vikela iziqu ezinsukwini zokuqala
Zama ukuhlala unomoya ozolile futhi oqondile ekuphileni, naphezu kwesahlukaniso, ukuze ungesabi ingane. Ungamtshela ukuthi wonke umuntu udinga ukuqina. Kodwa wena ngokwakho uqonda kahle ukuthi ukuxazulula okuphumelelayo kwenqubo yesehlukaniso kuyodingeka ube namandla kunanini ngaphambili.
3) Ungakhulumi kabi kumuntu owakwakho wokuqala
Abaningi bethu baqonda ukuthi akulungile ukwenza izingane zabaxhumanisi zicacise ubuhlobo, kodwa nokho kunzima ngezinye izikhathi ukuba siqaphele ukuthi ingane, ngisho encane kakhulu, ingakwazi ukuhlanganisa izikhathi ezimbi zokuxhumana phakathi kwabantu abaseduze. Ngakho-ke, ezikhathini ezinzima kuwe, uma ufuna ukuthululela umphefumulo wakho kubangani bakho efonini, khumbula ukuthi ingane ingase ibe yindawo ethile eseduze futhi ikuzwe.
4) Hlanganisa nesimiso
Izingane zabazali abahlukanisile kufanele zithembele ezinkingeni eziningi zansuku zonke zasendlini, futhi zingaba nokwesaba ngalokhu. Umthelela omkhulu wokuthi isehlukaniso ngendodana yami u-Vanya yenziwe kwaba isidingo sakhe njalo sokwazi ukuthi isinyathelo esilandelayo senzani, manje udinga ukwazi kahle ukuthi uhlangana nobani namuhla, kuphi futhi ngasiphi isikhathi. Sasihlukanisa lapho indodana yami ineminyaka emithathu ubudala, futhi manje nginekhalenda endlini yami lapho mina nendodana yami sigubha izinsuku zemikhosi yethu.
5) Musa ukudibanisa imithwalo yokukhulisa ingane nokuthola ubuhlobo phakathi komunye nomunye
Amathuba lapho abazali beqala "ukwabelana" ngalolo suku, bayathandeka kakhulu ngengqondo yengane, ngoba ingane iyaqonda ukuthi kukhona ubudlelwane obukhulu phakathi komama nobaba. Ubaba weza ukuthatha ingane ukuhamba, futhi lokhu akusona isikhathi sokuqala ukuthola ubuhlobo.
Funda futhi: indlela yokuhlukanisa uma kukhona ingane