Abantu abaningi bazibuza umbuzo wokukhipha ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ngemva kwesahlukaniso. Ayikho imikhandlu yendawo yonke futhi ayikwazi ukuba khona, kodwa kunamaphetheni ajwayelekile okufanele ukwazi.
Kukhona into enjengokuzivumelanisa nokuphila ngemva kwehlukaniso. Ukuvumelanisa okugcwele kuthatha iminyaka emibili kuya kwemibili. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi akunconywa ukudala kabusha umndeni, ukwenza izinqumo ezibalulekile mayelana nokuphila komuntu siqu. Ukuhlakanipha okuthandwayo "umgogodla wokuphuma" kusebenza kuleli cala kakhulu kakhulu. Ngempela, kuqala, udinga ukuqeda ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okungaze kwenzeke ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Ukungafani kungenziwa kuphela ngemishado engavamile, ephela emavikini ambalwa noma ezinyangeni emva komshado. Uma uhlale iminyaka eminingana emshadweni, kunengqondo ukucabanga ukuthi uzobe ukhululekile ukucindezeleka isikhathi esithile. Lesi sikhathi singancishiswa ngokusebenza ngentshisekelo kwengqondo ngenkinga noma ukwenza ukuzifunda emkhakheni wezingqondo zokuphila komndeni. Kodwa nokho sizobe sitshela ukuthi abantu abaningi baphuma ekuhluphekeni okuhlobene nehlukaniso, ngokuzimela.
Ochwepheshe bezengqondo ezahlukene kanye nama-psychotherapists bahlukanisa izigaba ezihlukahlukene zokuvumelanisa nokuphila ngemva kokuhlukanisa, kodwa bonke bahlangana ngenye indlela: isigaba esibucayi kakhulu se-post-exclusion period senzeke emavikini amabili okuqala angama-2-8. Kule nkathi abantu bangayeka ukudla, ukuxhumana nabangani, ukuzibukela. Izinsuku zokuqala ngemva kokuhlukanisa, abaningi bazizwa ukuwohloka kwezempilo, ukugula, futhi ngezinye izikhathi abantu baze baqale ukucabanga ngokuzibulala. Futhi lokhu akusebenzi nje kuphela kwabesifazane, kodwa nakwamadoda.
Yiqiniso, lesi sigaba sokuqala, esiyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu sokucindezeleka emva kokufa, kufanele sibheke ngokukhethekile. Phela, kungaba budabuki ukuthi ungabhekene nale nkinga bese udala nawe noma into yakho yokugcina engenakwenzeka. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, abantu banomuzwa wokuthi banqume ingalo noma umlenze. Lesi yisikhathi sobuhlungu obukhulu kanye nemizwelo enobudlova. Umuntu othize okwakuyiminyaka eminingi isihlobo esiseduze, noma mhlawumbe umngane, ngokungazelelwe sinyamalale empilweni yakho. Futhi leyo nsimu yokusetshenziswa kwamandla nomsebenzi, okwakusekuqaleni, ayigcwaliseki.
Lesi sigaba sihamba ngokulinganayo njengalabo abahlukanisile bebodwa, nalabo abaphoqeleka ukushiya umndeni ngokumelene nentando yabo.
Kunezimiso ezimbalwa ezibalulekile bonke abantu abaqeda ukuhlukanisa noma abazohlukanisa kufanele bazi. Lezi zimiso zisitshela indlela yokuqeda ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ngemva kwesahlukaniso.
Okokuqala, gwema ukuxhumana nomuntu oshade naye. Abaningi kule nkathi kubonakala sengathi benza iphutha elibi kakhulu, futhi bazama ngemva kokuhlukanisa futhi ukuhlangabezana nomuntu owake waphila. Lokhu kuyisinyathelo esiyiphutha, ngoba kukhulisa kuphela ubuhlungu obuvela egazini. Olunye uhlangothi lwezengqondo noma lwendawo ngesikhathi sokuqhafaza luwumthombo wokuphulukisa we-psyche nokuphulukiswa kwamanxeba ngokomzwelo.
Okwesibili, ukukhulumisana nabangani kuyasiza ekuhluphekeni kwengqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga zokuphila komndeni sizikhohlwa ngathi. Ukuhlukaniswa akuyona nje into ebuhlungu, futhi kuyisikhathi sokuzinakekela wena. Isikhathi sokukhumbula izinto zokuzilibazisa ezindala nezokuzilibazisa, ukubuyisela ubuhlobo nabangane abadala, ukuthola abangane abasha.
Okwesithathu, zama ukuqapha umzimba wakho nesimo somzimba. Ungagijimi ukubukeka kwakho, ungaqambi amanga ezinsukwini embhedeni. Ngena phakathi kwezemidlalo, uye ku-salon beauty. Ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuqeda ukuhlukunyezwa ngemva kokuhlukanisa.
Futhi, ekugcineni, okwesine, ungazami ukucindezela ukuhlupheka. Dlulisa yonke imizwa emibi ngokukhala, ukufunga, ukukhuluma ngezinkinga nabangane nabangani. Futhi uma kukhona ukungabi nalutho okuzungezile, okwenzeka futhi kaningi, qalisa idayari noma ubuke abangane abasha kuma-blogs. Imizwelo echotshoziwe maduzane izophuma, kepha ngenkathi ingaphakathi, izoqhubeka nomsebenzi wabo owonakalisayo. Ngakho uma usho ngokugcwele, ngokushesha uzothola.
Ngemuva kwezinyanga zokuqala ngemva kokuhlukaniswa, kuzodingeka uhambe kuleso sigaba sokubuyiselwa, uma ungakhulumi kabi ngokukhuluma ngomuntu owake wangena. Ngaphezu kwalokho, zonke izigaba zokuqeda ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo, okuzobe zilandela kwesinye nesigamu kuya eminyakeni emibili, zihlobene nomzwelo wokutakula ngokomzwelo. Uzoqala ukubona ama-horizons amasha, uzoba namathuba amasha. Futhi emva kwesikhashana uzoqonda ukuthi uma bekungekho isahlukaniso, impilo ngeke ikuholele ekugcineni. Phela, isehlukaniso sivame ukwenzeka emibhangqwana enhle. Futhi ngisho enamandla futhi enobungane, ekuboneni kuqala, imindeni emva kokuqhekeka ibonakala ngabashade bashadile abajabuli kakhulu. Kunoma yikuphi, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi isehlukaniso siyinkinga. Futhi noma iyiphi inkinga yinkathi yokuguquguquka, lapho wenza isinyathelo sokuya phambili noma isinyathelo emuva. Futhi kuphela kuwe kuncike ekujabuliseni ikusasa lakho ngemuva kwehlukaniso.