Kwabesifazane abaningi, umqondo wenkosikazi usho ingozi engozini emndenini. Eqinisweni, uma ungaba inkosikazi enhle kumyeni wakho, lokhu kuzoqinisa umndeni wakho futhi kuncishise ingozi ukuthi umyeni wakho uzobe, njengoba abantu bethi, "hamba ngakwesokunxele." Kodwa kanjani ukuba abe inkosikazi enhle kumyeni wakhe?
Inkosikazi enhle, kuqala koke owesifazane ohlakaniphileyo ofuna futhi alele embhedeni ukuba abe ngumyeni oyifunayo kakhulu. Ngokumangalisa, kodwa ubulili ebuhlotsheni obuseduze akuyona into ebaluleke kakhulu. Ungakwazi ngekhanda i-Kama Sutra ngenhliziyo, ngokuhlakanipha ukwazi kahle indlela yokwenza yonke imishini, kodwa awukwazi ukuba yilowo oyodinga umyeni wakho. Akunandaba ukuthi lona wesifazane unemibono emangalisayo noma isimo sengqondo se-Afrika, into eyinhloko ukuthi wayazi ukuthi ungumuntu ocansini. Ngenxa yecwaningo olwenziwa yi-VTsIOM, ama-55% wamadoda ahlolisiswa akhetha ukuziphatha ngokobulili njengekhwalithi esemqoka, futhi izinga elilodwa elibaluleke kunazo zonke lalibonakala - likhethwe ngamadoda angu-49%. Kodwa ingqondo kule poll yayingeyona indawo yokuqala.
Ungaba kanjani ucansi? Ngokusho kwamadoda amaningi axoxwa ngawo, owesifazane onothando uyena ongenqikazi ukukhombisa isifiso sakhe futhi uyakwazi ukuyisebenzisa. Njengoba eseduze nowesifazane onjalo, indoda kufanele izwe isifiso esivela kuye. Owesifazane ocansini kufanele athande ucansi futhi athole injabulo kulo, hhayi nje ukuhlanganyela kulo. Kumele asebenze ngokobulili.
Ukuze ube ngumuntu ongcono futhi othandekayo komunye umuntu, okokuqala kudingeka uzithande, qiniseka futhi wazi ngokwakho intengo. Kodwa ungazakheli ngaphandle kokuthinta. Ngombono omuhle womuntu owesifazane ozethembayo akahlupheki ezinkimbinkimbi ezingaphezu kwamandla. Uma ufunda ukubona futhi uzithande ngendlela oyikho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isisindo sakho, ukuphakama, isifuba esincane noma iziqhenqo ezibanzi, okufanayo kuzokwenza amadoda okuzungezile. Kusemandleni okuzithanda wena futhi umehluko phakathi kowesifazane othakazelisayo nomfazi othakazelisayo kuzo zonke izici. Yini engayishintsha lokhu okulula kalula, kodwa okungenakwenzeka futhi ngakho kufanelekile. Kungenxa yalesi sizathu ukuthi amantombazane, ngokwesibonelo, anesisindo esinqunyiwe abamomothekayo esibukweni futhi abambelele emgunyeni wokuthi kufanele kube nabantu abaningi abalungile, abakho abakwazi ukuzijabulisa. Uma owesifazane ethanda ngokwakhe, khona-ke uyahamba nomuntu, hhayi ngoba kuyadingeka, kodwa ngoba uyayifuna ngempela. Akalali ukugcina indoda eduze kwakhe, kodwa ngoba uyayithanda. Owesifazane onjalo ubelokhu ehlala futhi ehlala engumfihlakalo kumuntu. Futhi yini engaba namandla kunesifiso sokuxazulula le mfumbe.
Ukuze ujabulele ubulili uqobo futhi ulunikeze kumlingani, owesifazane kufanele angavinjelwe. Ubuciko bokudlala ngothando kuwo wonke owesifazane osegazini. Kodwa kungani abaningi bakhohlwa ukuthi ungakwazi ukudlala ngothando nje kuphela, kodwa ngesikhathi sokulala. Ukukhohlisa futhi ukuhlekisa umlingani wakho embhedeni, ungakwazi ukuqeda ukungezwani okuhlanganisa izifiso zakho futhi uletha injabulo enkulu kumlingani wakho kanye nawe. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi ubulili yingxenye yemvelo yothando lwakho. Funda ukujabulela lokho okwenzekayo bese kuzokunika injabulo engenakulinganiswa. Uma, isibonelo, uhlehlile isithende, yenza njengentombazane ekukhangiseni - uphumule okwesibili bese uqhubeka (esitolo sesigqoko esiseduze noma kumngane). Owesifazane ongenqikazi futhi engavimbele ukuziphatha kuleso simo, ngamacala angu-90%, amadoda abona njengowesifazane, engavinjelwe embhedeni.
Uthando lokujabulisa umlingani wakho. Abaningi besimanje banesicansi bacabanga ukuthi umuntu uzokwazi yini ukujabulisa IM. Inkosikazi ephelele kufanele ikhumbule ukuthi kuncike kakhulu kuye. Isimiso esiyisisekelo sobudlelwane obuhle bobulili ukuthi udinga ukunikeza okungaphezu kwalokho owamukelayo.
Esinye sezitha eziyingozi kunazo zonke zokusebenzisana okuhle kungaphansi kwezingcingo kanye nesikhombiso-ngqangi embhedeni. Kuye kwaziwa isikhathi eside ukuthi indoda izothatha isifiso sakho kangcono uma umtshela ngakho ngqo, ngaphandle kwamacebo, ikakhulukazi embhedeni. Unganqikazi ukutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi uthanda kanjani. Futhi uma uqinisekisa amagama akho ngokudabukisa nokububula, khona-ke kholwa kimi, esikhathini esizayo ngeke kudingeke ucele. I-reflex enemibandela yamadoda ikhiqizwa kakhulu, futhi isici esilula njenge "caresses esimnandi - uyajabula" bakhumbula ngokushesha.
Njengoba wazi, amadoda athokoza kakhulu uma eyanconywa, okungaphezu kwabesifazane. Owesifazane ohlakaniphile uyohlale ekwazi ukudumisa indoda yakhe ngendlela ethi uzizwa njengenkosi yezwe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngaphandle kokumcasula, okusho ukuthi, ukukhathalela kakhulu izikhathi ezimnandi, angamenza ajabule.
Ubuhlobo bobulili obujabulisayo, njengombuso, kuthinta ngokubili kokubili izinto ezingokomoya nezengxenye yomsebenzi wabantu. Futhi njengoba kwaziwa ngomuntu ophumelelayo njalo uwesifazane. Futhi uma lona wesifazane futhi engumthandi omuhle kumyeni wakhe, khona-ke uzophumelela kabili.