Iseluleko sengqondo: indlela yokwenza ukuqonda okuhambisana nentsha

Umzali ngamunye uvame ukubhekana nokukhathazeka lapho ingane yakhe ifinyelela eminyakeni yokuguquka. Futhi ukukhula njalo ingane yakho kuza ngokungazelelwe. Ezinkingeni ezivela ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabazali kanye nezingane zabo ezikhulayo, ungabhala zonke izivumelwano. Kodwa sizogxila kuphela ezinkingeni eziyisisekelo ongazithola uma uzama ukuthola ubuhlobo nezingane zakho ezisencane.


Zama ukufunda kabanzi mayelana nezithakazelo, abangane bentsha. Qondisisa ukubaluleka kwayo kuye. Uma uzama ukubuka ngaphandle ukuthi indlela yokukhulumisana phakathi kwentsha nabantu abadala iqhubeka ngayo, kubonakala sengathi ngamunye wabo ukhuluma ulimi oluhlukile, akakwazi ngisho noma angafuni ukubheka isimo ngamehlo omunye. Zama ukwamukela usesho lomuntu osemusha, okuboniswa ekushintsheni kwemizwelo engalindelekile, engavamile ngokombono wabazali ngezinto zokuzilibazisa zentsha noma intombazane, ukuziphatha okungcolile kanye nezinkulumo ezingavamile.

Kubalulekile ukubona ukuthi ingane yakho ikhule kanjani, ukuthi isishintshe ngokushesha kangakanani, ubuntu bakhe buye bukhula. Mhlawumbe usaphatha ingane yakho esemdala kanye neminyaka emihlanu eyedlule, uzama ukuyifundisa nokuyilawula. Esemncane, phakathi nale minyaka emihlanu, kuye kwaba nezinguquko umdala oye wathatha eminyakeni emashumi. Ungafuni ukugcina izindlela zakudala zemfundo - lokhu kuzolimaza wena kanye naye. Khumbula njalo ukuthi intombazane ingazama, yenza ngezindlela ezahlukene zokubhekana nawe. Udinga ukumtshela ngokuqinile ukuthi yini evunyelwe, futhi yimiphi imingcele engakwazi ukuwela. Intombazane isilungele ukukuqonda uma izwa ukuthi uyayihlonipha izithakazelo zakhe.

Ukuqonda ubunzima obhekene nentsha, ngoba uzama ngokukhula. Ukusekela. Ukukhula kwentsha akulula kakhulu. Ukuchichima ngamandla, okuvela ngenxa yokukhula okusebenzayo, elambile ukuzimela, elindele impumelelo enkulu empilweni yamuva, uthando nenjabulo, intombazane ithola indlela yakhe kuleli zwe, idlula emineni. Futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi izixazululo ezenziwe ngomumo kanye nezindlela zokuphila eziqinisekisiwe azikho, kulula ukuqonda ukukhathazeka okuvela enhliziyweni kanyoko uma ucabanga ngendodana noma indodakazi yakho ekhula ngokushesha. Kubalulekile ukuzama ukwenza izimo zokuthuthukisa ubuntu bomntwana wakho okhulayo. Kubalulekile ukumhlonipha, ukuthuthukisa umuzwa wakhe wesithunzi kuye, ngobumnene futhi ungaqhubeki ukumgqugquzela ekukhethweni okunzima kweziqondiso zokuphila - konke lokho kuzosiza ekuthuthukiseni ubuntu bakhe.

Nika umbono oyingozi: "Ingane enhle ingumntwana ohlale elalela njalo njalo." Kungabangela ukuthi ulahlekelwe ukuqonda ngokuvumelana nendodana yakho noma indodakazi yakho. Ucwaningo lwezazi zengqondo luye lwaveza isithombe esinjalo sezingxabano phakathi kwabazali nezingane ezisakhula. Umgqugquzeli wenkambano uhlale "emisiwe" osemusha - lo mbono uhlanganyela ngabazali "abahlubuki", kanye nabafundisi bakhe, futhi, njengoba kungabonakali, kubantwana ngokwabo. Intsha inomuzwa wokuthi baphoqeleka ukuba bathobekile - kuzo zonke izimo kufanele bahlale 'belalela.' Lapho ingane ikhathele ukuba necala futhi ilalele, ifuna ukushintsha isikhundla sayo, ibe "isihlubuki." Abantu abadala ngokuvamile kulezi zimo baya ku-psychologist, bazwakala i-alamu. Nakuba ingozi iqala lapho udinga ingane ngokuyinhloko ukulalela, lapho ephakathi uzizwa enecala emibangweni evelayo, futhi abantu abadala bathatha isikhundla sabashushisi.

Ungesabi ukwethembeka nomuntu osemusha. Ungakwazi ukusekela, ukuqonda nokukusekela. Yamukela ukwesekwa kwakhe, makabe nomusa, aqinile. Iphutha elikhulu labantu abadala ukuthi ngisho nokuzama ukuqonda abazali, basathatha isikhundla "sokungaphezu" kwengane. Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ngeke ulahlekelwe ukwethembeka emehlweni abantwana bakho uma uthembekile ngobuqotho ukuthi awukwazi okuthile noma uma ubonisa ukuthi uyaqonda futhi uzwelana nabo. Isibonelo: "Ngangesaba kakhulu" noma "Ngiyazi ukuthi ngizizwa kabi kangakanani uma utshela amanga." Ochwepheshe bezokwelapha kwengqondo yabantwana bathola ukuthi abazali, lapho bebona ukuthi izingane zabo zikhula kanjani, zivame ukulalela kuphela izici ezimbi: ingane yaba nobudlova, imise ukulalela, into efihliwe kubazali, njll futhi ayifuni nakanjani ukuphawula okuhle izici zokuthuthukiswa kwengane yabo. Isibonelo, ekukhuleni, izingane zikwazi ukuqonda abantu abadala, zifuna ukubasiza, ukuzisekela esimweni esinzima. Kodwa ngokuvamile abantu abadala abakulungele ukwamukela isimo sengqondo esisha kubo kusukela ohlangothini lwengane. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuze ufike kulokhu, kumele ube nomfana "ngokulinganayo." Ukuze ingane yakho endala ibe nomusa, ukuqonda, udinga ukumsiza ukuthi azibonakalise. Wena, nawe, kufanele ufunde okuthile. Okokuqala, hhayi nje ukunikeza, kodwa futhi ufuna futhi ukwazi ukuthatha.

Lapho uxazulula izingxabano, izingxabano nezinye izimo ezinzima ebuhlotsheni bakho, into yokuqala ezokusiza ukuzethemba nokuhlonipha. Intsha iyasabela ngokubaluleka kwabanye okuhlangenwe nakho kwabantu. Ngakho-ke, uma ukhathazekile ngokuziphatha kwentsha, ngakho-ke lapho uxhumana naye, ungase ungadingi amaqhinga akhethekile, kodwa ingxoxo enengqondo. Isibonelo, uma unomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngane, khathazeka ngakho, indlela engcono kakhulu yokumsiza yena kanye nawe ngokwakho kuyoba ingxoxo ongaqala ngayo ngokuveza imizwa yakho, isibonelo, kanje: "Ngizizwa ukuthi kukhona okwenzekile kuwe, Ngikhathazekile ngawe, ungithande kakhulu kimi, futhi ngingathanda ukukusiza. Mhlawumbe singakwazi ukuxazulula inkinga ndawonye uma usitshela okwenzekile. " Yile nqubo yokwelashwa okukhulunywe ngayo okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kubhekwa njengendlela engcono kakhulu yokukhuluma nentsha. Ngoba kule nkathi enzima, ukucindezelwa akusizi.

Yilungiselele ukuthi intsha izoba nokuphila kwayo, okungeke ikutshele yona. Ungazami ukuthola yonke imininingwane engayiqedi. Ungaphathi ngendlela enonsalela neyengane nendlela yakho yokubukela, njengokungena efonini noma ukufunda idayari yezingane. Ngosizo lalezi zindlela, ungakwazi ukufeza izinto ezimbili nje kuphela: ngokuphelele noma ngokwanele uphelelwa ukuthembela kwengane yakho kuwe futhi umbonise isibonelo sesenzo esingathembeki angase asilandele: ungamangali emva kwalokho uma ngabe ingane yakho ilele kuwe. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuqonda intombazane iqinisekisa engxoxweni eyimfihlo, lapho ukhuluma nayo njengesilingana nawe. Uhlonipha imizwa yakhe nemicabango yakhe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo udinga ukumtshela ukuthi izithakazelo zakho kanye nokuphila kwakho siqu kudinga inhlonipho. Uzokuthemba wena kuphela uma uqotho futhi uthembekile naye.