Iseluleko sengqondo sabantu abanesizotha esikhulu

Wonke umuntu kusukela ebuntwaneni kakhulu unomqondo othize ngaye ngokwakhe, mayelana namakhono akhe, mayelana nemfanelo yakhe siqu kanye nokudangala. Ukwakhiwa kwalo mbono kuqhubeka kuyo yonke impilo. Lapho esemncane, ukuhlolwa kwengane kunikezwa abazali bakhe. Kamuva abantu abazungezile: enkulisa, esikoleni, esikhungweni, emsebenzini nakwezinye izindawo eziningi. Ngenxa yesikhumbuzo sokuqala kanye nezinye izizathu zangaphandle, umuntu ngamunye uhlakulela ukuhlola okungashintsha kunoma yisiphi isigaba sokuthuthukiswa kwengqondo komuntu kuye ngezici. Ukuzethemba kungakwanela, kugxilwe noma kugxilwe. Ukubaluleka okubalulekile lokhu noma ukuthi ukuzihlonipha kunomuntu ohlangene nomuntu onabantu abakuzungezile kanye nokuzikhethela izindlela zokuziqinisekisa.

Yini umuntu ophethe ukuzethemba kwakhe okubonakala sengathi uyabonakala?

Namuhla sizozama ukunikeza isazi sengqondo sengqondo iseluleko kubantu abanesizotha esikhulu. Uma umuntu onesizotha esincane, njengombuso, enganqunywa, enamahloni, eqaphela izinto ezehlukene, ahlolisise amathuba akhe kanye nempumelelo ephansi kunalokho akhona, khona-ke indoda enokuzihlonipha ngokuzenzekelayo, ngokuphambene nalokho, iveza ukuphumelela nemiphumela yakhe yangempela. Umuntu onjalo uzilinganisa kakhulu kunokuhlola ukuthi abantu abamzungezile bayamnika. Kubantu abakuzungezile, uvame ukuzonda. Ukuhlukunyezwa kwakhe kubonakaliswa ukuziphatha okungcolile, okuthukuthele, okuzikhukhumeza noma okuzikhukhumeza nabanye abantu. Ngakho ufuna ukubonakala engcono kunalokho akhona ngempela.

Umuntu onesizotha esiphakeme uzama ukugcizelela izinsizakalo zakhe, uthanda ukuzidumisa, ngenkathi engavumelani nabanye abantu futhi ngisho nokukwazi ukukhokha amazwana. Umuntu onjalo ufuna ukufakazela ezweni elizungezile ukuthi nguye ongcono, njalo futhi kuwo wonke amalungelo, kuyilapho abanye, ngokuphambene nalokho, konke kubi kakhulu futhi behlala bengalungile. Ubuhlungu kakhulu futhi uphenduka ngokukhululekile ekugxeka. Indoda enokuzihlonipha ngokweqile, nakuba enganelisekile ngokwakhe ekujuleni komphefumulo wakhe, kwabanye kudinga ukuqashelwa njalo ngokuphakama kwakhe. Kunzima kuye ukuba ajabule ngenxa yokunganeliseki okuphakade ngento ethize: imvelo, izimo zokuphila, ukugcwaliseka kwezifiso zakhe ezingenakwenzeka. Lo muntu kunzima kakhulu ukushintsha umqondo wakho, njengoba kuzodinga imizamo emikhulu kokubili kumuntu ngokwakhe kanye nabathandekayo bakhe.

Ungashintsha kanjani?

Kumuntu onesizotha sokuziphendulela ngokweqile, badinga isikhashana sesikhathi eside futhi, mhlawumbe, ngisho nosizo lwesazi sengqondo. Isazi sezengqondo singanikeza ukuhlolwa nokuzivocavoca okuningi okuhlukene, ngokwesibonelo, ukuzivocavoca okunjalo ukulungisa ukuzethemba okuzenzekelayo: ephepheni kudingeka ubhale izinzuzo eziyishumi eziyinhloko futhi uhlole ubunzima bawo ohlelweni lwamaphuzu amahlanu. Bacele ukuba benze okufanayo nezihlobo zabo noma abangane. Bese uqhathanisa imiphumela. Uyini umehluko emalinganisweni? Kungani kungaba khona? Kufanele uzame ukucacisa imbangela yangempela yalezi zingqubuzana kuwe nokuziphatha kwakho, hhayi kwabanye abantu. Okulandelayo, udinga ukubhala amaphutha akho ayishumi ayisisekelo. Ingabe ziphazamisa empilweni? Ingabe bayaphazamisa abantu abaseduze nawe? Kudingeka sicabange ngalokhu.

Umuntu uziphatha kanjani nomuntu onjalo?

Abantu abazungezile umuntu onjalo akudingeki bangabaze ukuyibeka endaweni. Ekuqaleni kufanele kwenziwe ngomusa futhi ngokucophelela. Uma lokhu kungakusizi, kufanelekile ukuyiveza ngokuqondile nangokweqiniso. Isibonelo, mbuze ukuthi kungani azibheka kangcono kunabanye? Kodwa kungenjalo akukhohlehla ekuthukeni nasezinhlanhleni. Umsebenti ukukhombisa ukunakekelwa komuntu ekuziphatheni kwakhe. Ungaphakamiseli izwi lakho. Ngokuphambene nalokho, kumele silondoloze ukuthula okukhulu kanye nokunye uhlobo lokuzwelana.
Ngokujwayelekile abantu abanokuzethemba okukhulu bangabangani ababi. Bazama ukuba abangane kuphela nalabo abangabasebenzisa kubo, futhi bonke abanye bayanakwa. Ukuhlushwa kwabantu abanjalo akufanele kuthathwe inhliziyo, ngoba empeleni, abajabuli, ngoba abakwazi ukuzimela futhi baphoqeleka ukuba badlale indima yomunye umuntu.
Ukweqa ngokweqile noma ukuzithoba komuntu kungaguqula isifo sangempela futhi kwenze umuntu abe nokuziphatha okulimazayo. Iseluleko kubantu lapha sihlose ukuqeda ubugovu kanye ne-egocentrism. Ngokuzihlonipha okuzenzekelayo, umuntu kufanele afunde ukuzethemba ngawe nabanye, futhi uzame ukwakha indlela yokuziphatha nokuxhumana okuwuphawu lomuntu onokuzihlonipha okuvamile.

Iseluleko sengqondo sezengqondo kulezi zimo:

1. Lalela imibono yabantu abakuzungezile, kokubili ukuthi bayavuma futhi bangavumi: ngokuvamile bayakwazi ukunikeza ukuhlola kweqiniso, kunokuba kungenzeka ukuba uyenze ngokwakho.
2. Ukuphatha ngokusobala ukugxekwa, ngaphandle kokuhlukumezeka nokuhlambalaza.
3. Ukungabi nokubhekana nezindaba ezikhokhisiwe kubalulekile ukucinga izizathu ngokwazo, kunabantu abavela kwimvelo noma kwezinye izimo.
4. Funda ukuqonda ukwethembeka kwalokhu noma lokho kudumisa, kungakanani okufanelwe futhi ngabe kuhambelana nokuyiqiniso.
5. Qhathanisa nawe nabantu abaphumelele kakhulu komunye uhlobo lomsebenzi noma ekuphileni ngokujwayelekile.
6. Hlola ngokucophelela ikhono lakho ngaphambi kokuba uqhubeke noma yiliphi ibhizinisi noma isabelo, okwenza isiphetho esifanele.
7. Ungathathi ukwehluleka kwakho njengemininingwane encane, ikakhulukazi mayelana nokushiyeka kwabanye abantu.
8. Yiba yilokho okugxekayo, njengoba ukuzigxeka ngaphakathi kwemingcele efanele kuthuthukisa ukuzithuthukisa.
9. Ukuqedela ngempumelelo ibhizinisi lokucabanga, nokuthi ngabe kungenzeka yini ukwenza ngcono nakakhulu nokuthi yini eyayivimbela?
10. Gxila ekuhloleni kwemiphumela yabo ngabanye abantu, futhi banganeliseki ngokwaneliseka kwabo.
11. Hlonipha imizwa nezifiso zabanye abantu, ngoba zibalulekile njengemizwa yabo kanye nezifiso zabo.

Abantu abanokuzethemba okwanele ukuze banqume ukuthi yini engalindelwa ekukhulumisaneni nalena noma lowo muntu, kumelwe siqale siqonde isimo sakhe sengqondo kuye. Ukuxhumana nabantu, kufanele uqaphele ngokucophelela futhi ufunde ukuqonda ngokusho komuntu, indlela yokuxoxa, izinga lokuzihlonipha komuntu. Lokhu kuzokusiza ekwakheni ukukhulumisana okulungile, ukuze wonke umuntu azizwe ngokulingana okulinganayo futhi angabi nomuzwa wesithunzi.