Izimfihlo zokuxhumana

Akubona bonke abantu okudingeka sixoxisane nabo empilweni abathintana kalula. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kuncike ekutheni ukwazi ukuthola ulimi oluvamile, ukuze unganaki ithuba lokuxoxisana nomuntu ofanele. Ngezinye izikhathi ngakolunye uhlangothi lwezingqinamba bangabangane bethu nezihlobo, osebenza nabo, ozakwethu, abantu abangajwayelekile, lapho impilo yethu yansuku zonke, umsebenzi noma isixazululo sezindaba ezithile ixhomeke khona. Abanye bazama ukuthola ulimi oluvamile kuwo wonke umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani umuntu. Kodwa iningi lethu alitholi njalo izindlela ezifanele zokuxhumana. Eqinisweni, akukho lutho oluyinkimbinkimbi ekukhulumisaneni, futhi wonke umuntu angaba yinhloko yokukholisa.

Ukungathembeki okungathembeki.
Ngabantu abanzima kunzima ukuvumelana ngisho nezinto ezilula futhi ezizwakalayo. Abantu abajwayele ukubuka izinto ezingenangqondo ngokuphila, bayokulahla masinyane, kunokuqala ukucubungula indaba. Kodwa zingathonywa. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukuqinisekisa umuntu ukuthi isiphakamiso sakho sinama-pluses amaningi kunamaminithi. Nikeza izibonelo ezicacile, ngokuthula, kodwa uchaze ngokuqinile umbono wakho. Amaqiniso engokoqobo owalethayo, ngokushesha uzothola ukuzethemba kokungathembeki.

Ngakho konke kuvumelana!
Kubonakala sengathi into embi ukuthi umuntu uyavumelana nakho konke, ungathini? Zikulungele kakhulu ukuphatha futhi nje ukuphatha. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kunezimo lapho kubalulekile ukwazi umbono we-interlocutor. Indlela yokufeza isilwane esingenasipiliyoni isenzo sangempela, hhayi poddakivaniya? Ukuze wenze lokhu, kubalulekile ukugxila esenzweni engxoxweni. Thatha isikhathi esincane ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze uxoxe ngemvelo yenkinga, gcizelela ukuthi isikhathi kanye nemiphumela yangempela kubalulekile kuwe. Mhlawumbe, umuntu ongenenkathazo onjalo kuzodingeka ahlolwe futhi ashukunyiswe ukwenza izinto ezengeziwe, kodwa kungenzeka ukuba afinyelele kuye okufunayo.

Angiyikusho lutho!
Mhlawumbe, esinye sezikhathi ezinzima kakhulu ekukhulumisaneni siza lapho udinga ukwazi isinqumo sokhonkolo, kanti umxhumanisi wakho konke kungenzeka ukuthi uphephe umthwalo wemfanelo futhi ungasho ukuthi "yebo" noma "cha". Kungathembela ezingeni ezibaluleke kakhulu zokuphila nemisebenzi yakho, kodwa akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuphulukana nodonga othulile. Ukuze ukhulume nomuntu onjalo ovaliwe futhi uthola lokho akwenzile engqondweni, udinga ukwenza ngokuqhubekayo futhi ngobumnene. Ungacindezeli i-interlocutor ngezicelo, ungafaki noma yikuphi ukuhlukumezeka futhi kunoma yikuphi ukucindezela. Buza imibuzo ehamba phambili, usitshele okubalulekile kuwe, yimiphi impendulo ezoba yinto enhle kuwe nokuthi kungani. Kodwa ungazami ukukhuluma i-interlocutor, mnike ithuba lokukhuluma.

Uyabonga.
Kwenzeka ukuthi phakathi kwalabo okufanele sikhulume nabo, kunabantu abanenhlangano engokomzwelo enomqondo obonakalayo ukuthi kubonakala sengathi baphuthelwa yilokho konke. Noma yini oyenzayo, kubangela ukungahambi kahle nokuhlupheka, noma ngabe uthini, akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lokhu kuziphatha kubonisa ukutholakala kwezinkimbinkimbi eziningi. Iqhinga elihle kakhulu ekusebenzelaneni nomuntu ozwelayo akumele amenze ahlazeke. Qala ingxoxo ngokudumisa, unciphisa wonke amaphuzu abukhali endabeni yengxoxo bese ubheka izinzuzo eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka kulokho okunikezayo. Uma uqaphela ukuthi i-interlocutor iphinde ibuyele futhi ilungele ukuqhuma ngezinsolo, yifinyelele kuye ngezinye iziphakamiso. Ungesabi ukwenza umuntu othakazelisayo, othintekayo, ngoba lapho eqala ukuthembela kuwe, zonke izintukuthelo zezingane zakhe zizophela. Into eyinhloko ukuthi ukuthi nawe kufanele uzizwe ephephile.

Ayinelisekile.
Kunzima kakhulu ukuxhumana nabantu abahlale benganelisekile ngento ethile. Uza kuye ukuxazulula inkinga ethile noma inkinga yakho ejwayelekile, futhi esikhundleni sesisombululo esakhayo uthola ukukhalaza okungapheli ngakho konke okusemqoka futhi akusebenzi. Abantu abanjalo bavame ukukhononda ngokuphila, kodwa bavame ukuzama ukushintsha okuthile ukuze kube ngcono noma babheke isimo kusuka ngaphesheya. Thatha izinto ezandleni zakho. Ungavumeli ingxoxo ihambe kude nesihloko oyithandayo, cacisa izimangalo zomphikisi wakho bese uphakamisa ngokushesha izindlela zokuxazulula inkinga. Ngesibonelo sakho, khombisa ukuthi izimo ezingenayo i-insoluble zingaphansi kakhulu kunalokho kubonakala, futhi zonke izinkinga nezinkinga ezincane zinganqotshwa ngokuphelele. Cishe, ekusebenzelaneni nabantu abanjalo, kungcono kuwe ukuba ube yiqembu elisebenzayo, kodwa kuhle uma ungathola ummangali ukuthi enze okuthile.

Okungafani.
Uza kumuntu onjalo ngengxoxo, indaba okubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, kodwa ukhungathekile ukukhathazeka okubandayo. Imizwelo kuphela engabangelwa umuntu onjalo ayikuhle. Abaningi bafaka ngqo phambi kwabantu abanjalo, kodwa bangakhetha futhi ukhiye. Okokuqala, zama ukuthola umbono wakhe kulokhu noma lowo mbuzo. Yenza isiphakamiso sakho ukuze i-interlocutor ingenalo ithuba lokuphendula: "Angikhathaleli". Uma umbono wakhe uphawula, vumelana naye noma ngamanye amaphuzu, noma ngabe ucabanga ngendlela ehlukile. Futhi ke unikeze ukhetho lwakho, uqinisekise imibono yakho futhi ugcizelele izinzuzo ezicacile kule ndlela yokuxazulula inkinga. Into esemqoka uma uxhumana nabangenandaba, bangela isithakazelo sokuqala, uqale ingxoxo ngenothi elihle bese uzama ukungacindezeli.

Yiqiniso, kunabantu abaningi futhi bonke bahlukile, ngezinye izikhathi singakwazi ukuxhumana kalula nalabo abathinteka kakhulu futhi abahlukumezayo, ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ngathi ukuthi sivumelane ngisho nabantu abathandekayo kakhulu. Ukuze ukwazi ukuguqula noma yikuphi isimo ngendlela efanele, funda ukubona okungaphezulu kunokuqamba amanga phezulu. Qaphela izici zokuziphatha komuntu, ezinhlangothini zayo ezibuthakathaka nezinamandla, bese uzama ukusebenzisa ukubuka kwakho ngobumnene nangomusa. Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuxhumana nabantu ngesisekelo sezici zabo, into ewukuphela kwesabayo idlala imidlalo neminye imizwa yabantu, ngoba imizamo enjalo iphelela ekuhlulekeni okuphelele kwayo yonke imizamo yokwenza ukuxhumana.