Izizathu zalezi zingxabano zentshisekelo phakathi kwakhe naye zingaba yilokho okunye imininingwane yobuhlobo bazo: kusuka ku-pilaf engaphansi kosawoti, ukusola ukuhlukumezeka. Ososayensi bathi ukuphikisana kuyabangela ukucindezeleka kokubili abahlanganyeli, okuthinta ngamunye wabo ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ngakho-ke, uma owesifazane engxabano kuyisiteshi esikhulu sokuvela kwemizwelo emibi, indlela yokuzithokozisa futhi, ngokufanele, isenzo esiwusizo. Ngokuqondene nomuntu, ngokuphambene nalokho, ukuhlaselwa kuba yisidingo sokuthola izifo ezibucayi futhi kungaholela enkingeni yangempela. Futhi lokhu kuphikiswa kuhlobene nokuzikhethela kokuziphatha komuntu ngesikhathi sokuxabana.
Ngakho-ke yikuphi isikhundla esicashunweni ngokuvamile esithatha ubulili obuqinile?
Kuvela ukuthi amadoda amaningi anika izintandokazi kumaqhinga okulinda empikiswaneni. Ngama-scandals angu-100 kuphela ku-15 azobonisa ngempela imizwelo enobudlova noma anikeze indlela yokukhwabanisa kwemvelo. Lokhu kubangelwa ukuqonda komuntu ngesimo sakhe sokuqala: naphezu kwenkolelo evamile yokuthi uthanda ukuthatha kuqala ngaphezu komuntu akhethiweyo hhayi ngokomqondo, kodwa ngokomzimba, noma yimuphi umuntu wesaba ukwenza owesifazane wakhe abe yingozi ngokomzimba.
Yiqiniso, kukhona okuhlukile - amadoda aqinisekile ukuthi ukukholelwa kobudlova komfazi kunika ukuqonda okuphakathi komndeni. Kodwa kunabantu abambalwa futhi, njengombuso, ukuhlukunyezwa kwabo okungavumelekile okudala ukungqubuzana. Futhi, ngenxa yokwesaba ukulimala ngokomzimba kuleso sikhohla, owesifazane onomuntu onjalo uzama ukwehlisa konke ukungavumelani okungenani, ukuvumela kuye cishe yonke into futhi kancane kancane athole isibindi sokubalekela ezweni elilondekile lonesizungu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Indoda enempilo enempilo ngomqondo wangempela wezwi uyayesaba yena kanye nokuphendula kwakhe okungalawuleki ekukhulumeni okubuhlungu kokwekhethiweyo wakhe ekuqhubeni ukuxabana. Ngakho-ke, ugijimela ukuhamba noma agijimane nabangane ngokushesha, ngokushesha nje lapho eqaphela ukuziphatha komthandi wakhe izibonakaliso zokuqala zokukhwabanisa. Kuncike ekutheni uma engakwazi ukubalekela empikiswaneni, ngokuqinisekile uthatha ukuma okuzivikela, ezama ukungaqondakali kulokho okwenzekayo. Futhi uma owesifazane esengakwazi ukumsusa, uzinikela ngokuzenzekelayo umzila wokuvela kwemiboniso enobudlova. Ngokuvamile baba izinto eziwela ngaphansi kwengalo yomuntu. Kusuka lapha - kanye namadonga aphukile, nomakhalekhukhwini, uphahla phansi, kanye ne-latch eboshiwe eminyango eya ekhishini.
Esinye isici sokuziphatha komuntu ngesikhathi sokuphikisana kungenqika ukukhuluma.
Njengomkhuba wokubonisa, kuzo zonke izinto ezishiwo ngesikhathi sokuhlaselwa, u-80% ukhulunywa owesifazane futhi kuphela ngu-20% umphikisi wakhe. Noma kunjalo, ngokuvamile kule ndaba, owesifazane nendoda bashintsha izindawo: lapho umqalile ukuhlaziywa kwesiphepho isimo, yena hhayi yena. Futhi lokhu kwenzeka ngo-36 izingxabano ngamakhulu ayisishiyagalolunye. Kulokhu, lo muntu ukhuluma okuningi, futhi ukukhulumisana kwemibono yakhe kuncike ekucabangeni kwakhe. Amadoda amaningi, aphuma, akhulume ngokuthula kancane lapho beqala ukuthukuthela. Futhi njengoba ukuqothulwa kuzo, ukukhishwa kwabo kuphakama. Uma indoda ishintsha ithoni ephakeme kakhulu, khona-ke lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ukuphela kokuqala ukuxabana: uzobaleka ukuze ahambe, noma nje elala egumbini elilandelayo, ekuqedeni ukuhlambalaza ngezwi lakhe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, lo muntu, naphezu kwesimo sakhe sengqondo esingazinzile, uzama ukugcina isimo silawulwa empikiswaneni. Yikuphi okushiya ukunaka kwakhe lokho okushiwo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu kungenxa yecala lesibili - umzuzu ulungile: amagama ahlukumeza indoda kakhulu kunowesifazane futhi ubulili obuqinile buhluke kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, amazwi amabi kakhulu, efundwa yilabo abaphonswa kuye, uzozwa, cishe kuyoba amathuba okubuyisela ukuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwane bomshado. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu kungabikho kwengqondo okucasula abesifazane kakhulu. Ngenxa yakhe, khona-ke indoda kufanele iphindaphindiwe izikhathi eziningi ukuthi kwakungeyona nje ebuhlungu futhi ebuhlungu, kodwa yalandelwa ukuxolisa okusheshayo, ngokubhuka ukuthi lawo mazwi ashiwo ku-fuse nokuthi kwakungekho neze iqiniso kuwo.
Futhi ekugcineni.
Isifiso sokugcina konke okulawulwayo ngisho nangenkathi yokuxabana, noma kunalokho-ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi sokuthola ubuhlobo - kubhekiswa ukungafuni komuntu ukubonisa obala izinkinga zakhe emphakathini. Owesifazane osesimweni sokufutheka akanandaba nalokho omakhelwane bakhe abazocabanga ngakho ngokuphila kwakhe komndeni: okubaluleke kakhulu kuye imizwa yakhe ngalesi sikhathi esithile. Kodwa ngomuntu, imibono yomphakathi ngenhlalakahle yakhe ibaluleke kakhulu. Ngakho-ke umkhuba wesilisa owaziwayo wokubonisa yonke indawo emotweni entsha futhi ufihle ngokuphelele izinkinga nokuxabana emndenini. Futhi inkinga enkulu yanoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabashade - ukungabi nokuqonda kokubaluleka komunye nomunye - kubuye kubangelwa yilo mgangatho wamadoda. Owesifazane uzama ukuthola indoda ukuba iveze ngokomzwelo, isipiliyoni ngesimo sabo esengeziwe, ukuqonda isimo sakhe esicindezelayo nesihawu. Indoda ayilungele ukulalela izimangalo nezitatimende zowesifazane kuze kube yilapho enganciphisi izwi lakhe okungenani.
Ngokuvamile ukuziphatha komuntu ngesikhathi sokuphikisana kuhlala kungakhiye ophansi. Yilokho okubangela imiphumela emibi yezingxabano kuye. Ukuvimbela imizwelo eqhubekela ngaphandle, uqondisa ukugeleza kwamandla amabi hhayi ngaphakathi, kodwa ngaphakathi. Ngakho-ke, akayitholi indlela yokuphuma ekuhlangenwe nakho okucindezelayo, ukungezwani kwengqondo kuye kuqoqa, futhi ngenxa yalokho uthonya isimo sakhe sezempilo noma udlulele ekuhlaselweni kabi kwabangani noma abantu abaphikisana naye, into engamjabulisi. Ngokwezibalo, ukubamba iqhaza kwamadoda ekulweni okungekho emthethweni ngamacala angu-72% kwenzeka ngemuva nje kokuba umndeni wakhe uhlasele phakathi kwakhe nomkakhe.