Yiqiniso, konke kuncike ekutheni intombazane ingakanani. Uma uneminyaka engamashumi amabili, ubukeka nje buqili futhi buyingqayizivele. Noma kunjalo, zicabange wena, yiziphi izithakazelo ezivamile ezinganeni kanye nomuntu omdala omdala?
Kodwa esimweni lapho umuntu oneminyaka engamashumi amabili ubudala, konke kuxhomeke ekuhlakanipheni kwakhe, ekuziphatheni nasekuziphatheni kwakhe emhlabeni. Yiqiniso, uma intombazane ikhulile kunomfana oneminyaka engu-6, akukhona bonke abazokwamukela futhi baqonde. Ngakho-ke, umuntu kumele alungele imibono ye-oblique nezingxoxo. Yiqiniso, empeleni, impilo yakho kanye nobuhlobo bakho akufanele ukukhathaze noma ubani. Udinga ukufunda ukungazinaki ukuhleka nokulahlwa. Ngokuyinhloko, labo bantu banomkhawulo, abantu abangaphephile abanganikezwa ukuhlakanipha okuphezulu futhi ngokwabo baphila impilo eyi-gray boring. Kubantu abanjalo, akufanele nanini banakekele, ngoba imibono yabo iyancipha, futhi imishwana igcwele ibhala. Abantu abanjalo kufanele baphathwe ngamasosha okubandayo. Ekugcineni, akufanele ukuphazamisa nokubhubhisa impilo yakho nothando, okuthakazelisayo kule mpumelelo encane.
Ngokuqondene nemicabango yakho mayelana nemifikiswano, ungakwazi nje ukululeka ukuthi ungabambeki. Uma uthandana nomfana onjalo, khona-ke wakuthanda njengomuntu, akunjalo? Phela, uma ubuzwa ngempela umehluko empeni yakho, ungamphatha njengomngane, njengomfowethu osemusha, kodwa hhayi njengoba uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela ozizwayo manje. Ubudala akuyona neze inkomba yomlingiswa, inhloso kanye nokuqonda. Kukhona abafana abangamashumi amathathu abangazi ukuthi bafunani, hamba nokugeleza futhi bangena ekucindezelekeni futhi bangakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi yini abayidingayo ebuhlotsheni. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kukhona abafana abaneminyaka eyishumi nesikhombisa noma eyishumi nesishiyagalombili, abahlelele ngokucacile impilo yabo, babe nezinhloso kanye nezifiso, bahloniphe amantombazane, bazame ukuthola omlingani babo futhi bangashintshi ubudlelwane obungenangqondo nezinkampani ezingathandeki. Uma umfana onjalo eseduze nawe, awusoze ucabange nokuthi usemncane. Yena akuyona unyaka wokuzalwa, kodwa imicabango, izenzo nezenzo. Uma insizwa enjalo ithembisa okuthile, ungahlala uqinisekisiwe ukuthi lesi sithembiso sizolethwa esenzweni ncamashi lapho esho. Abantu abanjalo baqala ukuzitholela imali yabo, basize abazali babo, baqashe indlu. Ngokuvamile, bayakwazi ukusebenza nokutadisha, babe nokuzilibazisa okuhlukile futhi bamangaze ngentuthuko yabo ephelele. Kwenzeka ukuthi intombazane, eduze nomfana onjalo, uzizwa ingakhuli, kodwa intsha. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokubaluleka okubekwa phambili, abafana balolu hlobo lwengqondo nomlingiswa abakaze baziphathe kahle. Lokhu akusho ukuthi abazi ukuthi bangazijabulisa kanjani futhi bazikhohlise nxazonke. Ngesikhathi esifanele, insizwa ihlale ikwazi ukuzidonsa ndawonye futhi iphathe isimo esifanele indoda, hhayi ingane.
Ngendlela, ngokuvamile laba bafana babheka ngokweminyaka kuneminyaka yabo, ngakho-ke, abantu abambalwa abazoqagela mayelana neminyaka yakho yobudala.
Uma owesifazane ekhetha umfana osemncane kunabo, awukwazi ukulahla lesi senzo futhi uyibheke njengokuphambuka. Ngemuva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili, imingcele yobudala ayisabonakali njengesikhathi sokukhula futhi iminyaka eyisithupha iphelile ukuba umehluko omkhulu kangaka. Enye into ukuthi intombazane ngokwayo ayikwazi ukunqoba isikhawulo sayo sengqondo. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi abesifazane baphazamise imizwa ngaphakathi kwabo, ngoba bacabanga ukuthi uthando lwabo lungalungile nokuziphatha okubi. Phela, umfana ufanisa abafowabo abancane. Yiqiniso, izimiso ezibekwa umphakathi kunzima kakhulu ukuziphula. Intombazane ngayinye, ingene esesimweni esifanayo, ivele ibhekene nokukholelwa futhi iyaqonda ukuthi yenza konke okungalungile. Kubonakala kubo ngokuthi ngokukhetha uthando lwabo, kubeka inhlamba kubo kanye nomfana, ukuziphatha ngendlela engafanele futhi ngokwemvelo. Awukwazi neze ukuthatha ngaleyo ndlela. Ngothando, azikho ukuziphatha okubi, uma kungakhubeki futhi kungabangeli ukulimala kwabanye. Ngakho-ke, labo abangakwazi ukulahla lo mbhangqwana, empeleni, bamane babe nomona ngenjabulo nangesibindi sokuba ndawonye. Umuntu ovamile ngeke akhulume ngokuhlobana nabanye imizwa, ngoba kuyinkinga yabangubili kuphela, labo abangakwazi ukuthola konke ngokwabo. Ngakho-ke, uma uqonda ukuthi uyamthanda ngempela omncane kunani, futhi uzizwa efana, ungayeki uthando futhi uphule inhliziyo kumuntu ongase abe yingxenye yakho. Kungcono ukukhuluma naye futhi uxoxe ngakho konke ngokujulile.
Okokuqala, udinga ukuqonda uma ubheka ubuhlobo nomqondo wothando. Umfana ucabanga kanjani impilo yakhe eceleni kwakho, lokho akufunayo nokuthi uzokwenzani. Ngaphezu kwalokho, udinga ukuvuma ngokwethembeka ukuthi imizwa yakhe ingathí sina noma ngabe lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi yentsha. Akufanele neze ukhohlwe ukuthi usufuna ubuhlobo obungathí sina, kanti umfana, mhlawumbe, uthatha konke okusemncane futhi kungekudala angeke akwazi ukumelana nesisindo esiphansi emahlombe akhe. Ngakho-ke, zama ukucabanga njalo ngendlela ehlulekayo futhi ungavumeli imvelo yomphakathi ithonye izinqumo zakho. Yilokho ukuhlakanipha kwabesifazane nokuzizwa kwengqondo kuzohlale kusiza ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela nokuthi kungcono kanjani ukukwenza kule simo. Ungazitsheli ukuthi kusencane futhi ngeke uphumelele.
Kunezimo eziningi lapho abafana behlangabezana nokugcina kwabo eminyakeni eyishumi nesishiyagalolunye nesishiyagalolunye, bashade futhi baphile umphefumulo emphefumulweni kuze kube umshado wegolide. Yingakho, ngaphambi kokuba uphonseke le nsizwa, udinga ukuqonda futhi unqume ukuthi uzokwazi yini ukuba ngumyeni wakho noyise wezingane zakho. Uma kunjalo, kungani kufanele ushiye imizwa yakho nenjabulo yakho. Ngothando lwangempela, iminyaka engakaze ibe khona futhi ngeke ibe yisithiyo esikhulu ngisho noma intombazane ikhulile kunomfana iminyaka engu-6 - akusoze kube yinto esabekayo.