Ephakeme noma ephansi, ocebile noma ompofu, omncane noma cha - yena wedwa futhi. Umshado wakhe wangaphambilini awuphumelelanga. Kodwa mhlawumbe, nawe, injabulo iyomomotheka? Izinto zangempela zokuphila zanamuhla zithi cishe yonke imishado yesithathu, yebo, iphela ngesehlukaniso, Kulokhu sinezinzuzo zayo - ngoba umuntu ohlukanisile uphinde umyeni. Uyini, ufuna ukuthini, ukuziphatha kanjani naye nokuthi yini ongayethemba? Ukuhlangana - indoda ehlukanisile.
Kungani ehlala yedwa?
Izizathu, ngenxa yokuthi umshado wakhe wangaphambilini waqhekeka, kuyinani elikhulu. Ngeke ngamabomu sicabange ngamacala lapho indoda ishiya owesifazane oyedwa kwenye. Ingxoxo yethu ngalabo abazitholayo bayaphonswa ngaphandle kokuhlukaniswa, okusho ukuthi, ngokuhamba ngomkhumbi. Kunengqondo kakhulu ukuzama ukuhlela ukuphenywa ngentshiseko ezinsukwini zokuqala zokuzijwayeza. Kunamathuba aphezulu okuthola impendulo engathembekile noma ukwenqatshelwe ukungena ezweni. Kodwa ungesabi ukuthi eduze kwakho, isisulu esivelele noma esilahlekile. Ukuhlukana kwakhe kungenzeke ngenxa yezimo ezinzima kakhulu.
Imindeni yanamuhla idiliza hhayi nje ngoba le ndoda "ibubi." Emazweni amaningi kangaka okuthiwa abesifazane abanele ngokwabo, abathi ngezinye izikhathi bayaqaphela ukuthi abadingi umyeni nhlobo, kungaba kubi noma okuhle. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izazi ze-psychologist zikhomba ukuthi isimo sezinga eliphansi labesifazana likwazi ukuzivumelanisa nomlingani, ukuqonda kwakhe okuncane, ukungathandi ukukhuthazelela ubunzima bokuhlala ndawonye. Kunenkinga enjalo njengokungalingani kobulili kwabashadile. Kungenzeka ukuthi uzothola ukuthi ungaphandle "kohlobo" lwabanye besifazane. Ukuhluleka kwakhe ngeke kukuthuse, futhi izihlonipho zizobonakala ziphawuleka kakhulu. Futhi ufuna ukudala naye into engaphumelelanga nomunye owesifazane.
Sizokwenza ngaphandle kwesihawu
Kunoma yikuphi, isehlukaniso yisisulu sokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo esingapheli ngaphandle kokulandela. Ngandlela-thile, ukuhlukana komuntu kuyisihlungu nakakhulu kunokwesifazane. Ekuqaleni, umuntu ohlukanisile ufuna into eyodwa kuphela: ukuthi othile wamduduza wathi: "Hlala phansi, kuzobe ngcono." Yiqiniso, kufanele kube nesihawu. Kodwa hhayi wena! Ngemuva kwalokho, akayikufana nokuzwelana, futhi kungekudala uzoqala ukuhlangana nanoma ubani, ukuze angabuyeli efulethini elingenalutho futhi abuye aqinisekise ukuthi abesifazane basamthola ekhangayo.
Emphakathini wamakhosikazi, kunzima kakhulu futhi zonke izinhlobo zemininingwane ekhangayo zizokhuluma ngomfazi wakhe wangaphambili. Uhileleka kulezihlebo nge "ahami" futhi "ngeke kube khona!" Asikho isidingo, ngoba zonke lezi zembonakaliso zingabhubhisa ngokuphelele ubudlelwane obusanda kusungulwa. Ngeshwa, umuntu uvame ukuzwa ukuthi intombazane yenhliziyo yomuntu ohlukanisile "ngasese" utshela izintombi zakhe ukuthi "wayeyinto enhle kangaka". Akudingekile ukuba ube njengabantu abathintekayo. Lokhu kuzokwehlisa kuphela emehlweni okhethiweyo.
Izinkinga zakhe kuphela
Mhlawumbe akanayo indawo yokuhlala kuyo, unenkinga yezezimali, izinkinga emsebenzini ... Ungasheshi ukubheka njengenhlangano yakho jikelele, ungawafaki emahlombe akho abuthakathaka. Ngempela, empeleni, uyamdinga ngokuphelele. Enye into engathandeki evela empilweni yomuntu ohlukanisile. Mhlawumbe, impilo yakhe ilahlekile. Izibalo zithi izifo zenhliziyo zenzeke ngokuhlukaniswa kabili, futhi i-cirrhosis - izikhathi eziphindwe kasikhombisa kaningi kunamadoda ashadile. Ngakho-ke, izazi zengqondo zithi kunengqondo ukungena emshadweni nomuntu ohlukanisile eminyakeni emibili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Masithemba ukuthi ngalesi sikhathi uzolungisa impilo yomzimba nengokomoya. Futhi ngisho nalapho umuntu ohlukanisile esikhathini esedlule futhi eshada emshadweni wamanje uzozama ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukuze enze umshado wakhe wesibili uphumelele kakhulu kuneyokuqala.
Izinhlobo eziyingozi phakathi kwamadoda ahlukanisile
Uqhube ebuntwaneni
Esikhathini esivumelwaneni "esingapheliyo," umuntu uthanda, ngenxa yesizathu esithile sokuphuza ekuthuthukiseni ngokomzwelo. Yena unomphela, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuze kube phakade, uhlala enganeni futhi encike ebuhlotsheni nabesifazane. Owesifazane uyamdonsa kuphela aze amnake futhi amvikele emithwalweni nasezingozini zokuba umuntu omdala. Kufanelekile lokhu kulondolozwa nokuvikelwa ukunciphisa, isibonelo, ngokuphathelene nokuzalwa kwengane, njengoba umuntu eqala ukuzonda umkakhe futhi ekugcineni amenze ahlukanise.
I-incorrigible amandla-ilambile
Iphethini elifanayo liyabonakala lapho indoda enamandla ifuna umfazi. Ukhetha, hhayi okokuqala, owesifazane obukeka obumnene, onomusa. Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhombisa ngisho nokudonsa kwentando yakhe, njengoba umuntu eqala ukuzwa ukuthi uhambela igunya lakhe elingenakunyakaziswa. Futhi ngeke abekezelele lokhu. Kuqala ukukhuluma hhayi ukuqonda kwalowo muntu, odlulile ngokuhlangenwe nakho okungaphumeleli kwemishado esedlule, kodwa inkani nenkani. Uyanquma ukuhlukanisa nalona wesifazane. Ngakho-ke, uhlukanise futhi ufune ukuzithoba.