Ukuphila kombhangqwana oshadile akuvamile ukufana nelwandle elizolile ngosuku lwehlobo. Ikhono lokugcina ukukhangwa kanye nokuhlonipha okufanayo kuyimfihlakalo yokuhlala ndawonye ngokujabulisayo. Izithiyo, izilingo nokulahlekelwa ... Ngalokhu, kubalulekile ukudlulisela kuzo zonke izibhangqwana ezanquma ukuhlala ndawonye ngelinye ilanga - izinkinga ezikhona zingakwazi kanzima futhi zilethe abalingani abasondele futhi bahlukanise futhi bahlukanise.
Ngothando, inqubo yokunqoba nokukhohlisa ayisoze yayeka. Ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eyi-10 noma engu-20 yokuhlala ndawonye, ​​ungacabangi ukuthi ungakwazi ukuphumula emakhayeni akho. Ukugcina nokugcina imizwa kuyindaba ebalulekile, efuna ukunakekelwa njalo. Lalela izifiso zomlingani wakho, zama ukuqonda ukuthi yiziphi izinguquko ezenzeke kuwo iminyaka eminingi, funda ukuyekethisa futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, udinga ukwazi ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokuthuthukisa ubuhlobo bakho. Konke lokhu, kuthatha isikhathi, amandla kanye nethemba. Futhi isifiso sokuphila!
Zingaki izindaba ezithandekayo eziphela ku-fiasco, ngoba imodeli yethu yobuhlobo obuhle iyinkimbinkimbi futhi ayikho. Njengomthetho, sifuna ukuthola konke ngesikhathi esisodwa: uthando, ubulili obuhle, inkululeko nethuba lokuzithuthukisa. Siphila emphakathini ukuthi, njengomthetho, udinga ukuziqhenya komuntu siqu. Uthando lokuphila, ngokuphambene nalokho, alusekelwe ekulondolozeni ama-shams of "I" yawo, kodwa ngokuthula, ukujabulela ukuxhumana nabantu, ekusizeni okuhlanganyelwe kanye nesimo esihle sengqondo kukho konke okuzungezile. Lokhu akusho ukuphika isifiso nesifiso, ukukhohlwa ngamasu akho namaphupho akho. Akunjalo! Udinga nje ukukwazi ukuyekethisa njalo, wamukele ubunzima obukhona, qaphela ukuthi impilo iyashintsha uma uhlala nomunye umuntu. Kuzodingeka unciphise izimfuno zakho, wamukele ukungaphumeleli "kwesigamu" sakho futhi ulungele ukushiyeka okuncane okungenakugwema empilweni yakho ndawonye.
Injabulo ixhomeke ezimweni ezithile zokuziphatha kanye nokuziphatha okutshalwa futhi kuhlakulelwe ngokwakho. Nawa amanye amathiphu wokuthi ungazithola kanjani endaweni encane yombhangqwana.
1. Yakha ubudlelwane obuvumelanayo
Ukunambitha ngempumelelo i-cocktail ebizwa ngokuthi "ukuphila ngamabili", umuntu kufanele afunde ukwakha inkhulumomphendvulwano, ukulalela nokubekezelela. Ukuhlonipha nokuzihlonipha kubalulekile lapha.
Isimo esilula nesaziwayo: abantu ababili baxabana. Wagulela ekuthuleni, wamukela konke ukuhlambalaza ngaphandle kokuthukuthela, ehlezi ngesibonakaliso esisebusweni ebusweni bakhe. Wazama ngamandla ukucindezela okungenani igama elilodwa kumxhumanisi wakhe oyimungulu, evame ukuwela yonke imingcele yokuziphatha. Ngeshwa, ayikho ikhambi elilodwa laleli cala lobuciko. Mhlawumbe incazelo ichazwe ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane baziveza ngokuhlukile ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa kwemizwa. Khumbula njalo ukuthi amadoda ahlale ekhuluma kancane, i-vocabulary yabo ibumpofu kunabesifazane. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi bangamatshe futhi abazizwa lutho. Abesifazane kuleli cala badinga ukukhokha kakhulu ulimi lomzimba kanye nokuthinta. Ngezinye izikhathi bayomtshela ngaphezu kwamazwi omuntu ngokuqondile. Ngendlela, imiphumela embi kakhulu yezingxabano ingagwenywa. Bheka ngokucophelela le ndoda-mhlawumbe kakade esekugcineni, ungamyisa endaweni yokubilisa.
Sombulula Izingxabano
Funda ukucacisa ukusabela komlingani wakho ukuze ufunde phakathi kwemigqa, kunokuba ukhononda futhi wenze amazwana amancane. Ngokubukela ubuso bakhe nokubuka ngokucophelela ukuziphatha kwakhe, uzofunda okuningi ngawe. Futhi ungathukutheli ize - uyazi ukuthi kuyamjabulisa, ukuthi kuyamcasula lapho emele noma entukuthelo. Sombulula, ngokusekelwe kolwazi lwakho lomlingani, lapho kuzoba lula ukuqala ingxoxo.
Iqiniso lokuthi umbhangqwana ngezinye izikhathi uphikisana futhi uthola ubuhlobo akusho ukuthi izindaba zabo zihamba kabi futhi azivunyelwe ukuhlala ndawonye. Kwenzeka, lapho imibhangqwana ihlala ehlaselwa njalo ngenxa yokuthi bobabili banegazi elishisayo. Ukubambezeleka, izindleko ezingalindelekile, ukuziphatha okungalungile kubantwana: umphumela yizwi eliphakanyisiwe, ama-cavils nokuphendula okungokomzwelo ngokwezinye izikhathi kwezinye izinto ezincane kakhulu.
Kunzima ukuhlala uzolile, ikakhulukazi emva komsebenzi wosuku olukhuni. Okubaluleke nakakhulu ukukwazi ukulawula ukungqubuzana, ukuze kungabi yinkinga yangempela.
Imithetho elula: ungavumeli ukukhwabanisa okuvulekile nokungapheli, zama ukukhuluma ngezinkinga ngethoni ezolile, ubeke kuqala izizathu, hhayi imizwelo, unike ithuba lokukhuluma ngaphesheya, bese ulalele ngokucophelela. Ukungavumelani nezinkinga okungenzeka kufanele kuholele ekufuneni isisombululo, futhi kungabi yindlela yokuxazulula ukucindezeleka okukhulu nokukhulula ukufutheka kuwe.
3. Funda emaphutheni omhawu
Umhawu ujwayelekile. Yodwa ngokwayo akuyona imbi, ayihlaziyi, ayilimazi. Lokhu sikwenza thina ngokwethu. Lo mzwa ngokulinganisa okulinganiselwe kungadingeka futhi kufanele ulawulwe futhi ngezinye izikhathi uzuze kuwo. Kusobala ukuthi uma ubona indoda ethandekayo ikhuluma nowesifazane omuhle, uzizwa ugwayi enhliziyweni. Lokhu kuyaqondakala, kodwa hhayi kobudlova ngokwayo. Kodwa ama-hysterics kanye nobuqhawe emndenini wakho - lokhu kungaba yingozi kakhulu ekubeni khona kwayo.
Amadoda nawo ahlupheka ngenxa yomhawu. Thina, besifazane, abazi! Kodwa-ke, kumele banikezwe okufanelekile, bavame ukungena emgodini wangasese wesifazane - ukumba emaphaketheni, ukubukela izingcingo ezingenayo efonini, ukubhekezela ekhoneni. Imidlalo engozini, lapho umhawu owonayo udlala indima enkulu, uphika ngokuphelele ukuthi kungenzeka yini inkhulumomphendvulwano. Futhi lena yinkinga enkulu. Ikakhulukazi lapho ukukhathazeka mayelana nokuhlukunyezwa kungenasisekelo.
4. Ingabe kufanelekile ukutshela konke?
Isifiso sokuveza ngokugcwele obala ebuhlotsheni asivamile ukufaneleka. Ukuxhumana kungabhubhisa ngokungenwa kokungathembeki noma into eyenziwe esikhathini esidlule. Kweminye imindeni, umlingani oyedwa usebenzisa ukuhlonishwa njengendlela yokukhokha. Njengawe, nginitshele iqiniso - ungikweleta. Eqinisweni, iqiniso elinjalo elivulekile akusiyo njalo "elimnandi" lomlingani. Umndeni uyisakhiwo esibucayi, esingaqedwa kalula ngembonakaliso yaso engakafiki. Yiqiniso, uma ungakwazi ukugcina okuthile kuwe, kukulimaza futhi unquma ukuthi kufanele uvule - qhubeka phambili. Kodwa cabanga ngemiphumela ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Wena ngokwakho uzomkhulula umphefumulo wakho, futhi othandekayo wakho angakwazi ukuyiqeda ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngempela, ngaphezu kwamanga ahlelekile, ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukuthula uma ufuna ukuthi akufanele kube khona inkinga ebuhlotsheni. Ngakho ungahlala ngokujabula ndawonye isikhathi eside.
5. Khumbula ukuthi umndeni ubambiswano.
Ungabekezeleli udade (noma umama noma umfowabo) womyeni wakhe? Yebo, ungamtshela ngokuthula, kodwa kanye. Futhi ulungele kusengaphambili ukuthi igama lakho alinethonya ekuthuthukiseni ubuhlobo babo. Ngoba bangabantu bakubo. Futhi bangumndeni. Ungayithanda kanjani uma indoda yakho ikhuluma kabi ngezihlobo zakho? Futhi akufanele ngisho nokukhuluma ngakho. Ngakho kungani ungamukeli ukulingana kule ndaba? Ungabalingani. Futhi izifiso zombili kufanele zihlonishwe omunye wenu. Ungakwazi "ngezikhathi ezithile ukuphonsa amahlumela ensimini" emndenini wakhe. Lezi zigcawu eziphindaphindiwe zingase zibonakale zingenabungozi, kodwa empeleni zicasula umlingani futhi zisekelwe ekungaqondani okubalulekile kwezinto, okuvame ukuza kamuva. Kungcono ukwehlisa, bese uvumela umuntu oseduze nawe ukuba ahlale ilungu eliqotho nelithembekile kokubili nomndeni wakho. Hlanganisa eceleni futhi ungaphazamisi.
6. Ukuvikela Inkululeko Yakho
Ikusasa leqembu ngalinye lixhomeke ekutheni izinhlangothi zombili ziqhubeke futhi ziphile izimpilo zazo ngaphandle kokuthembela ngokuphelele komunye nomunye. Abanye besifazane abakwazi ukuya emabhayisikobho ngaphandle komyeni. Bamahloni kakhulu, banomkhawulo emsebenzini wabo, banendawo yabo engaphezu kwalokho abangenakubalekela khona. Ngempela, ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukucabanga, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Kodwa lokhu kwenzeka kaningi. Omunye umlingani (ngokuvamile ovame umuntu) unqanda inkululeko yomunye. Izizathu zihlukile - kusukela ekunakekeleni kwangempela kuze kube ngumhawu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abanye ngokungahambisani bayavuma "ukugqilazwa" okunjalo, behlupheka ngokuthula, abanye bezama ukulwa nalo. Futhi lokhu kuvamile ngokuphelele.
Wonke umuntu kufanele abe nethuba lokuphila komphakathi ozimele, okwanelisayo. Ngenxa yokuthi iqondisa ngokungaqondile futhi iqinise umhlaba wayo wangaphakathi, inengqondo empilweni yakhe yonke. Ngisho nasemibhangqwana kufanele kube nenkululeko ethile. Ngaphandle kwalo, ngeke kube khona ukuhlala ndawonye - ubunzima obunokwenzeka bungagwenywa kuphela ngabantu ababili abakhululekile.
7. Ukuzalwa kwengane akufanele kube yinkinga
Ukuvela komntwana wokuqala emndenini kuyilingo elijulile kubantu abasha abahlala ndawonye. Ekunakekelweni kwengane, indima kanina kaningi ibusa phezu kwendima yowesifazane, futhi ubaba uzizwa ekhohliwe futhi eshiyiwe.
Imizamo iyadingeka bobabili ukubhekana nendima yabo entsha, ngaphandle kokuphula umthetho owawunokuvumelana ngokuvumelana nobuhlobo nemicabango. Uma ingane izalwa, ilungu ngalinye lomndeni kufanele ligcine ubunikazi balo, futhi zamukele ukuthi lo mkhaya omusha ohlanganisa abantu abathathu. Ukugcina imfihlo kubaluleke kakhulu. Ungashiyi ingane isikhathi eside ekamelweni lakhe, ukuze ungahlupheki ebuhlotsheni bobulili. Kuzobe kungadingekile ezinyangeni zokuqala ukuthatha usizo linye yezihlobo. Futhi wena nomyeni wakho okungenani ngezinye izikhathi nihlala umhlalaphansi futhi nichitha isikhathi ndawonye.
8. Isidingo sokuzibona njengombhangqwana
Lokhu kubonakala kusobala, kodwa abaningi abakwazi ukuzivumelanisa ngaphakathi ngokwabo ukuthi bangasekho bodwa. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba "ufake" umbhangqwana phakathi kwakho futhi uvumele abanye bazi ukuthi abodwa manje.
Lokhu kufanele kubonwe ngabalingani, obaziyo, abangane nezihlobo. Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa kumlingani owenza umehluko omkhulu ubudala, isimo senhlalo, imfundo noma isipiliyoni semishado esedlule. Izinkinga zokuqashelwa ngabanye zingaholela ezinkingeni ezinzulu ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabalingani. Into esemqoka lapha ukukhuthaza uthando kanye nesifiso sokuhlala ndawonye. Futhi sisekelane ngalokhu kulokhu.