Ngeziteshi zayo
Uma ingane encane ithathwa yinto ethile, kungcono ukungayiphazamisi. Khona-ke angeke aphazamise nawe. Ungakwazi ukuhlala eduze kwakho, wenze ngokushelela ibhizinisi lakho noma ukhulume - angeke akuqaphele nakancane. Ngoba ukunakekelwa kwengane engaphansi kweminyaka emibili kuyisiteshi esisodwa, kugxila ezintweni ezithakazelisayo ngokuphelele futhi ngaleso sikhathi, njengoba bethi, "abaziboneli - abazizwayo". Kodwa uma usaphazamisa ingane, ngakho-ke angeke abuyele emdlalweni wakhe - isimo salo sizolahleka. Eminyakeni engu-2-3 ukunakekelwa kancane kancane kuyaba nezimo, nakuba kuhlale kungashadile. Ingane ingakwazi ukuphazamisa, isibonelo, izwi lakho, bese uqhubeka nomsebenzi wakhe. Kamuva, kusukela eminyakeni engaba ngu-4, uqala ukwakha ukunakwa kwe-channel (ekugcineni kuzokhula kuze kube yiminyaka engu-6). Manje ingane ingenza izinto ezimbili ngesikhathi esifanayo - cishe njengomuntu omdala. Isibonelo, ukukhuluma nawe, hhayi ukubuka phezulu ebhizinisini lakho, noma ukubuka i-cartoon, ukuhlanganisa umklami. Ngalesi sikhathi, izingane zikulungele ukuqeqeshwa, ngoba zigcina kahle imiyalo. Kodwa-ke, uma umntwana oneminyaka engu-5, 6 ubudala engacabangi, kungenzeka ukuthi akhathele. Ubuchopho bakhe buvikelwe ekukhunjweni ngokuqondisa ukunakwa kwesiteshi esisodwa kuphela. Futhi futhi "akabonanga - akazwa". Ungamsoli ngalokhu. Ukubuyekezwa okungcono umbuso wosuku - kunesikhathi esanele kuwo imidlalo yamahhala nokuzilibazisa?
Ngokukhululekile nangokuzibandakanya
Kuze kube yiminyaka emihlanu, ukunakwa kwengane kungenasidingo, okungukuthi, kubangelwa kuphela izakhiwo zento, ngaphandle kwemizamo yangaphakathi. Okuthile okusha, okukhanyayo, okuthakazelisayo kuyokuheha ingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imatasa kangakanani. Okokuqala, abazali basebenzisa le ndawo ngokuzikhandla. Isibonelo, ngezinhloso zokuphazamiseka. Ingane eneminyaka elilodwa idonsela izandla zayo ezitsheni ezibizayo futhi ikhombisa konke ukubukeka kwayo ukuthi ayizizwa kanjani ngaphandle kwalesi sigqoko. Ukuphishekela, iziphakamiso zokunaka into elula akusizi. Into eyisele kuphela ukumbamba ingane ngokuzumayo futhi, egijima ewindini, memeza: "Bheka, yimuphi inyoni ehamba ngezinyawo lapho." Futhi ingane iyajabula, futhi i-vase ifihlekile. Futhi ukusebenza ngesikhathi sakusihlwa! Umntwana uyajabula lapho ebona umkhulu wakhe ogqoke isigqoko ngesikhumba senzosi nangenduku yokudoba, futhi abazali balandela zonke izincomo ngokudla okunempilo, bamondla (ingane, imkhulu, namadada), i-broccoli kanye ne-carrots puree. Kodwa-ke ingane ikhula, futhi abazali baqala ukuveza imibono: "Ekuseni ngibeka phambi kwe-TV ukuthi ngigqoke ngokushesha. Ngakho-ke yonke into iyabuya emuva nangaphambili, idonswa futhi ibhekwa kalula "," Ngabona ibhola emgwaqeni - ngigijimela, ngingabheka nxazonke "," Angikwazi ukugxila uma bekhuluma ngemuva komnyango ". Kuzo zonke lezi zimo, abazali bahlambalaza izingane ngenxa yokungalutho, ukungabikho kwengqondo. Empeleni, lezi yizibonelo zokugxila kakhulu. Kuphela akuqondiswa ukuthi yini abantu abadala abayidingayo, kodwa yini okuthakazelisayo kumntwana okwamanje. Ukuphatha ukunakekelwa kwengane kuyokwazi kuphela ngonyaka wesithupha wokuphila - bese kuqala ekuncane kakhulu. Ukuqaphelisisa (uma ingane iphazamiseka ngamabomu kulokho okuthakazelisayo, igxila kulokho okudingekayo) kudinga ukusetshenziswa okukhulu kwamandla namandla okucabanga. Ungaphuthelwa izikhathi ezinjalo - qiniseka ukuthi udumisa ingane ngalokho akwenzayo. Bonisa ukuthi bayamangala ukuqina namandla akhe (bahlale bese udwebela i-postcard kunogogo wakhe, lapho wonke umuntu ebukela i-movie - lokhu kuyisenzo ngempela), futhi usekele lokhu kuzinikezela. Ingane izokwazi ukuthi imizamo yakhe ayiyona ize, futhi uzobona izibonelo eziningi zokuziqhenya ngokuzithandela.
Qaphela ukunakwa
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akukho mzamo okhethekile wokuthuthukisa. Ingane ekhulela emndenini futhi ihola indlela yokuphila yabantwana evamile, ukuthuthukiswa kuyaqhubeka ngokwayo. Kodwa okufanayo, kuxhomeke kubantu abadala abakhuluma nabo nokuthi ingane ikhuluma kangakanani, lapho ehamba khona, yiziphi izinto zokudlala azidlala - yingakho ithonya lethu ekuthuthukiseni yonke imisebenzi yokucabangela kuyabonakala. Isibonelo, abantwana abazali abathanda imvelo banakelela kakhulu. Phela, ukubheka imvelo ukuqeqeshwa okuphelele kokubona, ikakhulukazi uma unaka zonke izinguquko. Ekuqaleni, abantu abadala ngokwabo bathi: "Bheka ukuthi la maqabunga aphuzi kangakanani, bheka ukuthi ngokushesha imbali yaqhakaza kanjani," bese ingane ihileleke kule nqubo futhi ithola ngisho nalokho okusele ngaphandle kokubheka abantu abadala. Ukuthuthukiswa kokunakwa nakho kuthinteka ukuthi bangaki abazali abakhuluma nezingane zabo. Izingane zabazali abakhulumayo zifundela kalula futhi ngokushesha kunokuqaphela ngokuzithandela. Amamazana amabili anika izingane zabo ama-albhamu, amapensela futhi anikele ukupenda iphethini. Owokuqala uhlezi eduze kwawo, owesibili uhamba nayo yonke inqubo yokudweba ngengxoxo. "Yeka iphethini elikhulu, ake siqale ukudweba emaphethelweni, bese uya enkabeni ... Yileyo ndlela eyenzeka ngayo. Ngibonise ... "). Uyini umehluko? Kukhona umehluko. Umama wesibili ngale ndlela elula ubonisa amakhono abalulekile okunakekelwa kwengane. Uyamfundisa ukuba alalele imfundo futhi ayigcine kuyo yonke iseshini, aphule imfundo ibe izingxenye ezincane futhi akhe ukulandelana kwezenzo zakhe kusuka elula kuya eziyinkimbinkimbi, futhi kumsiza ukuba athole amakhono okuzithiba. Yiqiniso, lokhu akusho ukuthi kunoma yikuphi umsebenzi womntanakho okudingeka ubambe iqhaza, unike iseluleko, kepha ingane yengane engu-4-5 ngezikhathi ezithile "izifundo" ezihlangene zizosiza kakhulu. Ngokushesha uzoqala ukuphawula ngezenzo zakhe, njengokungathi uzisiza ngenkulumo ("Ingxenye ebomvu kufanele ihlanganiswe nomhlophe ... Kulungile, ngizokwenza lokhu ngemuva, futhi manje ...") Ngesikhathi sokufunda okusebenzayo (iminyaka engu-6-7), imiyalo izoba ngomlomo ngokuphelele, ingane izofunda ukulalelisisa, ukulandela imiyalo ngaphandle kokuphawula kwangaphandle.
Imidlalo ewusizo
Ukuze uthuthukise kunemidlalo eminingi. Zilula kakhulu kubantu abadala futhi zithakazelisa izingane. Thola ithoyizi. Umuntu omdala unikeza isici sesitokisi (esikhulu, ubomvu), ingane kufanele ithole ekamelweni. Omdala ingane, imisebenzi enzima kakhulu ingaba. Umuntu oneminyaka engu-5, oneminyaka engu-6 ubudala anganikezela ukuba angaboni ekamelweni elilodwa, kodwa kulo lonke leli gumbi - futhi hhayi ngisho nesihloko esikhulu kakhulu. Yini eguqukile? Lapho kufika ingane evela emgwaqweni noma enkulisa, shintsha into emakhaya (susa amawashi ayemi endaweni evelele, ususe umgubuzelo embhedeni wakhe, uhlele kabusha izimbali). Uma ngabe ingane ingayinaki, buza futhi menze acabange. Uma, kulokhu futhi, uthola ushintsho kuye, bese ushintshe imithetho yomdlalo kancane. Ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ngitshele ukuthi kukhona okuzoshintsha kuye, bese uphakamisa ukuthi uthole lezi zinguquko. Ngibheke. Ubheka omunye umzuzu ngomzuzu, bese uphenduka uphinde ubuze imibuzo ngayinye: "Nginombala onjani emasokisi?" - "Ngimaphi ama-buttons enginayo?" Umdlalo onjalo uyoba mnandi kakhulu uma umama enikeza kancane bese ephikisa konke. Yini engaphansi kwesikhafu? Lokhu akuwona umdlalo kuphela, kodwa futhi ukuhlolwa kokunquma inani lokunakwa. Thatha izinto ezincane ezingu-7-10, zimboze. Bese uvule imizuzwana engu-3 bese ubuza ingane ukuthi ibone lokho akubona ngalesi sikhathi. U-4, oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala ubiza ucingo olulodwa (ngalesi sizukulwane sivamile), oneminyaka engu-6 ubudala uyakwazi ukubona izifundo ezingu-2-3. Isikhathi sokubheka umuntu omdala izinto ezingu-7. Ngivimbele! Uma ingane ifunda inkondlo, sizama ukungamphazamisi: vala i-TV, ukhulume ngokuthula. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi udinga ukwenza okuphambene - yenza ukuphazamiseka. Vula i-TV uphinde ufunde isigqi, uphoqele ukugxila ezinkingeni ezinjalo (yiqiniso, yini e-TV akufanele ikhangele ingane).
Icala elikhethekile
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwezingane kwachazwa izazi ze-psychologist eminyakeni eyikhulu edlule, kodwa manje ukuxilongwa kwe-ADHD (ukunakekelwa kokulahlekelwa kwe-hyperactivity syndrome) kuhlangane kaningi. Izimbangela ze-disorder aziqondi ngokugcwele - njengomthetho, ingane ngayinye inezinhlanganisela zezici ezingathandeki. Ngelinye ilanga, odokotela, othisha nabachwepheshe bezengqondo babumbene: isisekelo se-syndrome yizici zesakhiwo nokusebenza kobuchopho, hhayi ukukhuliswa. Ngakho "ukulwa" ngokuntuleka kokunakekelwa nokwenziwa komsebenzi ngeke kusebenze. Ukuvumelanisa ingane nezimo ze-enkulisa, bese kuthi isikole, kubalulekile ukucabangela lezi zici zentuthuko. Izingane ezinalesi sifo zingafani kakhulu (ngakho-ke i-syndrome ibizwa ngokuthi i-polymorphic), kodwa bonke banezici ezifanayo. Kuyinto impulsiveness, ubuciko ekuziphatheni, high umsebenzi umsebenzi futhi abakwazi ukugxila. Futhi ukwephulwa akufanele kubhekwe wonke amacala okuziphatha okunjalo, kodwa yilabo kuphela lapho lezi zici zibonakala ezinganeni njalo, kungakhathaliseki indawo, futhi zidale izinkinga kuye nakwabanye. Ingane iqala ibhizinisi - futhi ishiya ngokushesha, ingayiqedi. Ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nasezintwaneni ezinhlanu ezineminyaka engu-6 ubudala zingase zibe khona okuthiwa ukuziphatha kwensimu - lapho umntwana ethatha konke okufika kuye endleleni, ngokushesha ukuphonsa. Imoto ayinayo injongo: ithola, iyagijima, ikhuphuka, ihambisa izinto etafuleni, ingaphenduli emazwini. Ngokuvamile izingane ezinjalo aziqapheli izibonakaliso zengozi: zingagxuma phezu komgwaqo ngaphambi kwezimoto zezimoto, zingena emanzini, zingakwazi ukugebha. Futhi ngisho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo akubafundisi - ngesikhathi esizayo ingane ingabuyela into efanayo. Ingane ivame ukulahlekelwa izinto emgwaqweni, enkulisa, ngezinye izikhathi ayitholi indlu ekhaya - bese ethukuthela, iqala ukukhala, ibe yinto engafaneleki. Akathandi ukwenza okuthile okuphoqelekile, okudinga ukuhlushwa. Uma edlala nezingane eziningana, uhlala engena empini, ngoba akakwazi ukulandela imithetho, ukuhleleka nokuxoxisana. Ukubuzwa ngento ethile umuntu omdala akakwazi ukulalela ukuphela kokuphazamisa, ukuphikisa, ukuveza umbono wakhe, bese ebuya embuzweni wakhe. Yiqiniso, izingane ezinjalo ziphazamisa kakhulu, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukusebenzisa izindlela ezijwayelekile zokufundisa kubo. Ukuphishekela, ukukhipha, ukubonisa ingozi yalokhu noma lokho okusebenzayo ezibonweni ezivela ekuphileni - konke lokhu akusizi ngalutho. Kudinga usizo olunzulu lwezokwelapha, lwengqondo nokufundisa. Kodwa abazali kufanele bazi imithetho eminingana yokukhulumisana nezingane ezinenkinga yokunakwa. Lungisa umsebenzi wabo ngokweqile kwisiteshi sokuthula. Imisebenzi yezemidlalo engeyona enobudlova (ukubhukuda, i-athletics, i-acrobatics) iyasiza kakhulu, izosiza izingane ukuba ziqaphele amandla abo. Gwema imisebenzi eminingi kakhulu, ukuzijabulisa, ukukhulumisana - lezi zinsuku kunzima ukuzola, buyela emuva evamile. Ukujwayeleka kokuya emithethweni kancane kancane, ngokoqobo kusuka emazwini amabili. Izingane ezingenakwa ukunzima zikhuthaze imiyalelo ende (futhi zilangazelela - zingaphezu kwamazwi angu-10), azikwazi ukuzizwa. Ngakho-ke kunezincazelo ezincane kakhulu, zonke ngokufushane nangokucacile. Ezinganeni eziningi esikoleni ubudala lezi zimpawu zishintshwa, zivele zingenakuthola futhi aziphazamisi ukufunda nokuxhumana. Ngokuyinhloko, lokhu kuyimfanelo yabazali, ngakho kufanele uqale ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.