Imibuzo inzima ngempela, kungaba nemibono eminingi lapha, njengoba umuntu ngamunye ehlangene nobuhlobo bakhe, umbhangqwana ngamunye uqala ubuhlobo ngendlela yabo. Zikhona yini izindlela "ezingathí sina" ezijwayelekile kubo bonke, nokuthi bangazibona kanjani? Cabanga ngezibonelo ezilandelayo.
Kungenzeka yini ukubiza ubudlelwane obukhulu phakathi komuntu osekhulile kanye nentombazane encane? Noma ubuhlobo phakathi kwentsha? Iningi lethu cishe lingasabela kahle. Ngempela, esimweni sokuqala, ukubalwa kanye nokuhlelwa kwe-mercantilism kuyamangalisa, futhi okwesibili - isifiso sokubukeka sisebekhulile emehlweni ontanga, ukuzwa okubonakalayo okusha. Yini elahlekile kuzibonelo zobuhlobo obunjalo ukuze kuthiwa yibi kakhulu? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ibhansela ingazwakala kanjani, kodwa, akunjalo, akukho uthando olwanele ngomqondo obanzi wegama. Phela, uthando ngumqondo oyinkimbinkimbi: kuyisisindo, ukuvumelana, kanye nezinhlelo ezijwayelekile zekusasa. Kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuhlonipha, isifiso sokuhlala ndawonye njalo nokunikeza uthando ngomunye iminyaka eminingi.
Ubuhlobo obunzima buqala njalo ngothando - ngokuhlanganyela nangenabugovu. Kuzo akukho ndawo yokubala, ukusetshenziswa komuntu kanye nobugovu. Okuzokwenzeka ngokulandelayo - usuku lomshado nomshado noma umshado womphakathi - akubalulekile kakhulu. Impumelelo yenyunyana ilele ngokuqondile ngobuqotho bemicabango, inhlonipho yedwa kanye nomlingani wakho, isifiso sokupha nokunikeza othandekayo ngaphezu kokuthola ngokubuyisela.
Ubudlelwano buyophumelela uma lo mbhangqwana uya kubo bonke abanomthwalo wemfanelo, bobabili abavuthiwe hhayi kuphela ngokweminyaka yobudala, kodwa futhi banezinhlelo ezijwayelekile ezicacile zekusasa, uhlelo lokubaluleka kweqiniso. Izakhamuzi eziningi zengqondo manje zibhala ukuthi indlela yalabo mbhangqwana yindlela kuphela ekhona futhi eyiyo yokuzibonela, ukudalula okusemqoka nokwenza ngcono ngokomoya. Phela, ubudlelwane bezinhliziyo ezimbili zothando kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu yothando, injabulo, ukuziqaphela, futhi mhlawumbe ukudala umndeni, umama kanye nobaba.
Emphakathini wanamuhla, ngesizathu esithile, asamukelekile ukufundisa ubuciko bokuhlala ndawonye kanye nobuhlobo obunzima. Noma kunjalo lokhu kubika, abesifazane abaningi bayaba nobuhlobo obunzima, ngoba indoda iyisivikelo kanye nomthombo wemali engenayo. Ngakho-ke, kubantu besilisa, owesifazane ukhululekile ngokobulili, ukudla okunomsoco, induduzo, izingubo ezihlanzekile ... Akumangazi ukuthi ukuphumula nokuhlukana okuningi kwenzeka eminyakeni engu-2-3 emva kokuqala kobudlelwane. Uthando lwalesi sikhathi luphela futhi luqala nje ukusetshenziswa komunye. Abazange bacabange, bebengayazi ukuthi bebengakwazi kanjani ukuthi ubudlelwane nabo badinga ukufunda futhi baholela emshadweni ngomqondo othile wezwi. Kule ndaba, ubuhlobo obunzima kufanele buqale ngomsebenzi kuwe, hhayi ngemizamo yokushintsha umlingani wakho. Shintsha wena akulula, kodwa awukwazi ukushintsha enye. Uma umuntu engakwazi ukuqonda lokhu, uzohlala ebunzini lakhe ngezinkinga ezinjalo. Ukuphila kuhlelwe kahle futhi kuvumelanisiwe, futhi uma inkinga ingaxazululwa, iphindaphindwa kaningi, isikhathi ngasinye siqinisa. Ngakho-ke, uma ulandelwa ukuhluleka empilweni yakho siqu noma uwedwa - yisikhathi sokuhlala phansi ucabange: ngenzani engalungile? Kukhona inqwaba yezincwadi, ukuqeqesha kanye nama-seminari angasiza ekuguquleni ukuphila, ubuyisele ubuhlobo.
Akunakwenzeka njalo ukubiza ubudlelwane obunzima futhi obuhlala njalo. Phela, abaningi bahlala ndawonye ngomkhuba, ngenxa yezingane noma izindlu. Ubudlelwane kufanele bulinganiswe hhayi ngenani leminyaka behlala ndawonye, kodwa ngekhwalithi noma umphumela. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ungazisoli kamuva, zibeke phambi kwakho imigomo nezinhloso ezithile kusukela ekuqaleni: "Kungani kufanele ngibe nalobuhlobo?", "Ngifuna ntoni kubo?", "Banginikeza mina nomthandekayo wami?" Uma izimpendulo zemibuzo enjalo zinzima kuwe, futhi hhayi kuphela okuthandayo "I" kuzovela kuzo, cishe, uhamba ngendlela efanele.