Futhi emva kwesikhashana lihluke ngokuphelele, cishe lingalawuleki, njalo liqala ama-scandals, futhi lihlale lihlekisa kuwe. Kuthelwa yilokho konke: isobho elishisayo kakhulu, alikwazi ukuthola amasokisi, ngisho nokuthi unenkinga emsebenzini, nawe. Ngenxa yalokho, awukwazi ukuma futhi usabele ekucasukeni, ngokuhlambalaza ngonya, lapho ehudula khona embhede. Futhi yini eyamangalisa kakhulu, ngemuva kokukhwabanisa, ubonisa ubuhlakani obungavamile nokungaziphathi kahle kwezocansi, nakuba ngokuvamile engekho embhedeni. Ngingayichaza kanjani lokhu?
Iningi labama-psychologist libiza abantu abaphikisana nabo ngenxa yesondo - intukuthelo. Kumantombazane ahlangene nempilo yakhe ngaleyo ndlela, kunezindaba ezimbili, kodwa zizwakala, kodwa kuhle futhi ezimbi.
Ake siqale ngokubi. I-Gnevoliki ifana nokufana nabama-fetishist. Yilabo kuphela abathokozela yizingubo zangaphansi, amathoyizi kanye nezinye izinto, futhi uhlobo oluthukuthele lwamadoda - kusuka kuma-scandals. Futhi uma kunoma yisiphi isikhathi bethola ukuthi izingxabano zibavuselela kangcono kunanoma yikuphi ukukhipha ngaphambili, ngokushesha maduzane indawo ye-preludes izobe ibhekene nezingxabano. Inkinga yakho ukuthi emva kwesikhashana uzoyeka ukuhlangabezana nesifiso sobulili, ngoba lokho okuthola indoda yakho-akukuvunguli. Futhi awunawo amandla okulahla. Kodwa-ke, ungakwazi ukubuyela kumchwepheshe othi, ngokuphakamisa "isimo esifanele" sokuphila kocansi, uzama ukusiza. Kodwa ngisho nezingxoxo ezinde ehhovisi zivame ukuphela ngokubuyela esikrinini esedlule socansi.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuqwashisa komuntu ngenkinga kanye nesifiso sokulungisa. Intukuthelo enjalo ingaphathwa. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, akuzona zonke izigameko zakho eziphela ngocansi, iningi labo liyeka ingxoxo ethule.
Isayensi ye "sexology" yanikeza lo mkhuba igama elihlukile - "Nero Complex". UNero ungumbusi waseRoma owasebenzisa izingxabano nokukhala ukuze akhulise ubulili bakhe. Ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa okwesabekayo umbusi wabona emkhatsini wakhe - umuntu ongakazi, okuphambi kwakhe kwakungumlingani omusha ocansini, okwakudonsela kakhudlwana kunomkakhe. Ama-physiologists abuye achaze lesi simo ngokunyusa u-testosterone ngesikhathi sokuxabana, okubangela nokwanda kokuvusa ngokomzwelo.
Inkinga ngenye intukuthelo ukuthi iphupha owesifazane "owe" kusukela ebusheni. Phela, akusiyo imfihlakalo ukuthi isithunzi sezingane ezihloniphekile ezivame ukujabulisa abantu, kodwa amantombazane angenangqondo enza isifiso esingalawuleki. Kodwa, njengomthetho, amadoda achitha isikhathi nabanye, futhi ashade ngokuphelele kwabanye, ehloniphekile futhi enhle. Inkinga ivela lapho umuntu eqala ukubona ukuthi umfazi wakhe ohloniphekile akakubangeli isifiso sobulili kuye. Ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi ulahlekelwe umsebenzi wakhe wesilisa, uya ku-"butterfly" lokuqala futhi ngokushesha uyaqonda ukuthi konke kulungile, ngoba inkinga ayikho kuye, kodwa kumkakhe. Amadoda amaningi, ngemva kokufunda ngalokhu kungahambisani, ngemva kweminyaka embalwa eshiya omkawo, kanti abanye, bebathanda umkakhe, bafuna zonke izindlela zokuthola injabulo kumlingani wabo. Futhi phakathi nokuphikisana okulandelayo bathola ukuthi umfazi waba yingxenye yokuhlubuka - lokhu kuyisithombe esivimba kakhulu ngokocansi, futhi kuqhubeka nomumo owaziwayo. Bahudula lo wesifazane embhedeni, futhi isikhathi ngasinye esilandelayo sisebenzisa ingxabano njengesizathu socansi. Konke ngaphandle kokucabanga ngalokho enye ingxenye engacabanga ngayo ngaleyo preludes.
Mhlawumbe, ukuphikisana njengesikhathi socansi kuyayithakazelisa futhi kuyilingo, uma-kwenzeka ngokungalindelekile, ngokuzenzekelayo futhi kungavamile. Kwezinye izimo, amadoda angenelela ingqondo yomfazi nge-preludes enonya, futhi ngokuvamile uyaqaphela lokhu. Bazama ukubuyisela ubuqili babo ngokucindezela nokukhathalela ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nezipho ezibizayo.
Izazi zengqondo zithi uhlobo olunjalo njengentukuthelo, ngokujwayelekile, luthinta kakhulu abesifazane. Bazizwa bengabethembi, ukungaboni kahle, ukuhlukunyezwa nokuthukuthela. Isizathu salokhu kungaba ukukhuliswa kobaba onesizungu noma umama ongenalo uthando. Ngenxa yalokho, ingane ikhula i-misogynist. Kodwa, njengoba engenakuphika ngokwenyama abesifazane, uqala ukumhleka usulu embhedeni. Ngamanye amazwi, isakhiwo se-psyche of sorrow sinezinto ezimbili: 1) abathandi abesifazane ngokujwayelekile 2) ubuthakathaka bobulili
Uma ungenanhlanhla futhi kufanele wabelane nombhede ngokuthukuthela, bese ukhumbula ukuthi ukuthula kwakho ngeke kuthathwe njengegolide. Ngemuva kokukhetha umlingani, awukwazi ukuqagela ukuthi uzothola "injabulo" enjalo. Ngesikhathi esifushane bamjwayele, futhi ngemva kokufunda ngesifiso sakhe, awukwazi ukuhlanganyela naye futhi? Khona-ke ungesabi uma, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ube ukhathele zonke izihloko zokuphikisana, uzoqala ukukugxeka ngezinto ezingenangqondo. Ungazithokozi ngenkosikazi yensimbi, noma yimuphi owesifazane onokuhleka usulu uzoyeka isikhundla futhi abaleke. Uma ufuna ukuhlala, kuzomele udinga ukuphuma.
Okokuqala, thola ukuthi yiyiphi impande yenkinga, okungukuthi, uhlobo luni lomuntu oyakho. Uma ungumuntu ohloniphekile kakhulu futhi ungazivumeli kakhulu embhedeni (izimo ezihlukile, ama-caresses omlomo), khona-ke indoda yakho isakwazi ukusindiswa. Inkinga kungenzeka ukuthi wena, futhi wena, njengowesifazane ohlakaniphile, kufanele uhlaziye amaphutha abo. Uma ubona ukuthi umyeni wakho ukhetha ama-caresses acindezelayo, bonisa ukuthi usulungele ukufeza izinkomba zakhe ngaphandle kwempi. Gqoka izingubo zangaphansi ezinhle futhi uziphathe ngesibindi. Ngokushesha uzoqonda ukuthi izingxabano njengesizathu sezivele zingabalulekile.
Uma indoda yakho ingu-misogynist, khona-ke kuyoba nzima kakhulu kuwe ukuthi ushintshe okuthile. Okokuqala, bonisa ukuthi uyamthanda futhi ungalokothi unikeze, kumthembele, noma ngisho nakakhulu ukuthi ufuna ingane evela kuye. Yiqiniso, ngeke kube lula ukuphula indoda enjalo, kodwa konke kungenzeka. Njengendlela eyengeziwe, thintana nodokotela. Futhi ungavumeli ukuhamba ngezandla zakho kusengaphambili, ngoba konke okusemhlabeni kungashintshwa. Njengesikhuthazo, makube kuwe ukuthi intukuthelo ayiyona into ejwayelekile futhi eyaziwayo, okusho ukuthi inkinga inesixazululo, ngaphandle kwalokho abesifazane bebengathuli ngakho.