Ungabi namahloni okwesaba?
Isihloko sezinkathazo zezingane kanye nezindlela zomzabalazo zibi kakhulu kunalokho kubonakala kubantu abadala. "Usuvele ungumfana omkhulu, awunamahloni okwesaba inja encane kangaka (amanzi, izimoto, omakhelwane abaqinile, njll)?" - sivame ukuthi, ukuxosha eceleni "ukwesaba" kwengane. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukwesaba kwethu: impilo yabathandekayo, ukungabi nemali, umphathi omangalisayo, uhlelo olulodwa olungagcwaliseki ... Kodwa ukuthi ingane ibhekana kanjani nokwesaba kwakhe kanye nezindlela zokulwa emntwaneni, ngezindlela eziningi kuxhomeke ekuthokozeni nokuzethemba kwakhe ukuthi uzokhula. Futhi emandleni abazali ukumsiza.
Ukukhathazeka Ukuthuthukiswa
Ukwesaba okubangelwa ingozi yangempela, izazi zengqondo zibiza ngokuthi "situational". Uma inja emalusi embi ehlasele umntwana, akuyona into emangalisa ukuthi waqala ukwesaba zonke izinja. Futhi ukwesaba okunjalo kutholakala kalula ekulungiseni kwengqondo.
Izinto eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu futhi ezicashile yizinto okuthiwa "ezomuntu" ukwesaba, okungukungabonakali okwangaphandle kodwa okwenzekayo kwangaphakathi, impilo yomphefumulo. Iningi linesisekelo esiyisisekelo: lihlale livela kuzo zonke izingane njengoba zikhula, nakuba zihamba ngezinga elihlukahlukene. Zivame ukubizwa ngokuthi "izinkathazo zokuthuthukiswa". Ekuqaleni, umntwana uhlangana ngokugcwele nomama wakhe, uyibheka njengengxenye yakhe, kodwa cishe izinyanga eziyisikhombisa uqala ukuqonda: unina akayona eyakhe, uyingxenye yezwe elikhulu lapho kukhona khona abanye abantu. Futhi ngalesosikhathi kufika ukwesaba kwabantu abangabazi. Lapho uhlangana nomuntu omusha wengane, umama kufanele akhumbule izinkinga zomntwana futhi angabe esho uma umntwana engafuni ukuxhumana nezivakashi. Isimo sakhe sengqondo ngabo, uyakha ngesisekelo sokubheka umama: uma ejabule ukuhlangana, ingane izoqonda kancane kancane ukuthi lena "yakhe".
Njengazinye izinkathazo zentuthuko, ukwesaba izihambi kuyadingeka futhi kuyimvelo. Uma ingane igxila ekulileni, kuphela lapho ibona umuntu ongaphandle, kungase kudingekile ukusiza ochwepheshe abanezinkathazo zezingane kanye nezindlela zomzabalazo. Kodwa ukubonga okujabulisayo ezandleni zomfokazi nakho akuyona into evamile. Uma ingane, ingabheke emuva kunina, igijima ngaphesheya kwevemvane noma ngisho nento ethakazelisayo; uma ngesibindi ungena emanzini ngosuku lokuqala olwandle - lokhu kuziphatha kudingeke ukuxoxisane nengqondo kwengqondo. Singacabanga ukuthi inqubo evamile yokuhlukanisa ayidluliswanga, "onamandla" akazizwa ehlukile kumama wakhe ngakho-ke akakhathazeki ngokuphepha kwakhe.
Lapho uneminyaka eyizinyanga eziyisishiyagalolunye kuya unyaka owodwa, usana luqala ukujikeleza indlu ngentshiseko futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa lugcina umama (ugogo, nanny) ebonakala. Manje uyazi ukwesaba isizungu, ukulahlekelwa yinto ethandekayo. "Kubalulekile ukuthi ngaleso sikhathi umama atholakale futhi angaphendula masinyane ucingo lomntwana," kusho isazi sengqondo kwengane, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Anna Kravtsova. - Kuhle kakhulu ukujezisa isizungu. Uma umama ethi: "Ngikhathele ngawe, ulale embhedeni owodwa, kodwa uzothola ukuthula-uzofika" - lokhu kwandisa ukukhathazeka kwengane.
Eminyakeni engaba ngu-3 kuya kwengu-4, kanye nomqondo wecala, izingane ziqala ukuzwa ukwesaba ukujeziswa. Ngalesi sikhathi, bazama okuningi ngezinto ezahlukene, hlola
amathuba, ukuhlola ubuhlobo babo nezwe, ngokuyinhloko nabathandekayo babo. Abafana bathi: "Lapho ngikhula, ngishada noMama!"; futhi amantombazane asho ukuthi azokhetha uyise kubayeni. Konke lo msebenzi obhubhaneyo uyakhangisa futhi ubesabise, ngoba besaba imiphumela. Ngokuka-Anna Kravtsova, ukwesaba ingwenya eqinile kuyisimo esifanayo sokujeziswa: uma ngifuna ukwazi futhi ngiqala ukuphenya lokho okusemlonyeni wakhe, ingwenya izogwinya ngomunwe!
Abantu abadala abahlakaniphile abaqala ukubiza inzalo eneminyaka engama-3 kuya kwengu-4 ubudala njengabaphathi bamaphoyisa, abacimi bomlilo, i-Babu Yaga kanye nabadlula-by ("Uma umemeza kanjalo, ngizokunika lo malume!"). "Ngakho-ke, abantu abadala baxhaphaza izinkathazo ezimbili zezingane ngesikhathi esisodwa: ukwesaba abantu abangabazi futhi ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa umama wabo," kuchaza lo mchwepheshe. "Akusho ukuthi ngenxa yalokho ingane izoqala ukwesaba amaphoyisa noma abacimi bomlilo, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi izinga lokukhathazeka lizokhula, futhi ukwesaba okuyisisekelo kuyoba ngaphezulu. Ukuzama ukugcoba izingane, ukufeza ukulalela, umuntu kufanele akhumbule ukuthi ukulalela nokuzimela, ukuzithemba yizinto ezihlukile. "
Ukufa okuncane
Cishe eminyakeni yobudala efanayo, izingane ziqala ukuzwa ukwesaba ubumnyama ngesikhathi besaba kanye nezindlela zokubhekana nazo. "Ukwesaba ubumnyama eminyakeni emithathu kuya kwemi-4 kufana nokwesaba ukufa," kuqhubeka uKravtsova. - Kule minyaka yobudala, izingane zicabangela ukuthi abantu bangahamba kangakanani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bebuya njalo. Idayi eliye laphuka phansi, into elahlekile phakade, konke lokhu kusikisela ukuthi ngisho okufanayo kungenzeka kubantu, kuhlanganise nabathandekayo. " Ngokujwayelekile ngalesi sikhathi ingane ibuza imibuzo ngokufa.
Futhi izinsana eziningi , ezingakaze zibe nezinkinga zokulala, ziqala ukungenangqondo, zenqaba ukuya embhedeni, zicelwa ukuthi zivule ukukhanya, zinike amanzi, - zonke izindlela ziphuza umhlalaphansi ukulala. Phela, ukulala ukufa okuncane, isikhathi lapho singazilawuli khona. "Kuthiwani uma kukhona okwenzeka ezihlotsheni zami ngalesi sikhathi? Futhi kuthiwani uma ngingavuni? "- umntwana uzizwa ngale ndlela (engacabangi, yebo).
Akwenzeki ukumqinisekisa ukuthi ukufa akuyona into embi. Umuntu omdala yena uqobo uyesaba ukufa, futhi konke okwesaba kakhulu ukufa kwakhe ngumntwana wakhe. Ngakho-ke, ukuze sikwazi ukukhipha izinkathazo zomuntu omncane, kudingeka senze umqondo wokuzinza: sisondele, sihle nawe ndawonye, siyajabula ukuphila. "Manje sifunda le ncwadi, khona-ke inganekwane izophela, futhi uzoya esitokisini" - lawa amagama angcono kakhulu okuzolalisa ingane. "Uqinisekile ukuthi uzolala? Mhlawumbe udinga okunye? "- kodwa lemishwana iqinisa ukukhathazeka kwengane. Ukwesaba ubumnyama kungabhebhetheka esikhathini esizayo, eminyakeni engama-4 kuya kwengu-5, ngenxa yokuthuthukiswa kwengqondo, ukucabanga okuyingqayizivele. Ukucabanga ngempilo yakhe yesikhathi esizayo nokwesaba ukujeziswa ngenxa yalezi zithombe kudala emqondweni wakhe izithombe ezitholakala ezincwadini nakumafilimu: Baba Yaga, Gray Wolf, Kashchei, futhi-ke, izindaba ezibuhlungu zanamuhla, ezivela kubahlakaniphi ababi abavela ku "Harry Potter" ku-Godzilla (uma abazali bavumela ingane ukuba ibuke i-movie enjalo). Ngendlela, izazi eziningi ze-psychologists ziyavuma ukuthi uBaba-Yaga uhlanganisa i-archtype yomama: angaba nomusa, anikeze ukudla, anike i-glomeruli emgwaqweni, kodwa futhi angakwazi, uma kungenjalo.
Ukuvikela ingane ezindabeni ezimbikisayo akusizi ngalutho futhi kuyingozi ngisho. Oomama abaningi, ngenkathi befunda inganekwane, bakhipha isiphetho ukuze yonke into ibe yinto enhle, futhi impisi ayifuni ngisho neLittle Red Riding Hood. Kodwa izingane zikhala: "Cha, ulahlekile konke, akunjalo!" "Sidinga ulwazi lokubhekana nokwesaba ukuze sifunde indlela yokubhekana nayo," u-Anna Kravtsova uyaqiniseka. - Ngaphezu kwalokho, inganekwane ikuvumela ukuthi uvuselele ukwesaba, ukuqonda ukuthi akuyona into ephelele. Ngesinye isodwa impisi ingalungile, kubi, futhi ngakolunye usiza u-Ivan Tsarevich. "Harry Potter" uyisibonelo esihle, ngoba ngokusebenzisa wonke umlando isihloko sokunqoba ukwesaba komuntu yinkambo ebomvu. Wayengeyena owayengesabi, kodwa lowo owayengakwazi ukuzihlupha.
Enye into - abavusa amadlingozi abantu abadala . Babesabeka kakhulu, kodwa ingane ayikwazi ukuzama indaba yayo, ibuye iphinde isabe. "
Kodwa-ke, amafilimu namathekisthi ayimthombo kuphela wezithombe, angahle athothowe noma yikuphi, ngisho nasesithombeni esithombeni sangemuva. Isizathu sokwanda kwezinkathazo zemvelo yisimo emndenini. Izingxabano zabazali zenziwa yizinkathazo eziningana ezinamandla: ukubhujiswa kwezwe, ukulahlekelwa okuthile okuthandekayo, isizungu nesijeziso (eminyakeni engama-3 kuya kwengu-4 ingane iqiniseke ukuthi abazali bayabambana futhi bahlukanise kuphela ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe okubi). Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhathazeka kwengane kunesibindi ngomyalo womndeni owunzima: imithetho eqinile kakhulu, izijeziso ezinqunyiwe, maximalism, ukugxeka nokucindezeleka kwabazali. Ukuhlukaniswa kwezwe ngokwemigomo ye "abamnyama" - "umhlophe" kuqinisekisa ingane yokwehluleka nokungaqiniseki kwezilo ezivela emcabangweni wakhe kanye nokwesaba nezindlela zezingane zokulwa nazo.
Noma kunjalo, ukuhlala ngokuphelele ngaphandle kwemithetho kuyabangela ukwesaba. Kuphephile ukuthi umntwana uzizwa ezweni lapho ukuthokoza, ukubikezela nokuzinza kubusa (isibonelo, njalo umama ekuseni uzongena endlini yokugezela imizuzu engu-10, futhi uhlala yedwa, kodwa umama akalokothi agijime lapho ehlenga umnyango nje ukukhala lapho ihora, okubonakala sengathi kungunaphakade kwengane).
I-Equation ne-tatu engaziwa
Ngomzwelo nokucabanga, kunesinye ukwesaba okuvamile - ukwesaba amanzi. Kukhona i-nuance: uma ukwesaba kwamanzi kuvela ngemva kwesenzakalo esithile (sagxila ulwandle, sigwinya amanzi echibini labantwana), lokhu akusikho okwesaba umuntu, kodwa ukwesaba. Kodwa-ke, iningi lezingane ezisuka ekuqaleni ziphatha amanzi ngokuqapha, nakuba ziqala ukuthanda ukugeza. Ukutholakala kwamanzi ukutholakala kwemizwelo, ukuphikisana nezici ezingaziwa. Uma izingane zizama ukuzama ukuzamazama kwezinye izindawo, abazali abazimisele ngokwengeziwe bayamkhuthaza ukuba afunde izinto ezintsha, kuyoba lula ngaye ukuthatha amanzi njengento ethakazelisayo, engesabi.
Lokhu, ngendlela, kusebenza kubantu abadala. Sesaba okungaziwa (ikakhulukazi, i-otherworldly), kodwa kukhona abantu abajabulayo abaphatha izimo ezingenakuqondakala ngokuzilalisa. Ngokusobala, babe nezingane ezicwaningayo zokucwaninga.
Abazali "abaqeqeshiwe" abavelele "Nikitin" bavumela izingane zakhe ukuba zifunde umhlaba ngokwawo: isibonelo, azizange zigcinwe izingane lapho ziya emlilweni. Ngokushiswa kancane ngaphansi kokunakekelwa kukaMama, ingane isazi kakade ukuthi "imbali ebomvu" ayikwazi ukusondela. "Ungakwenza lokhu, kodwa udinga ukukhumbula ngesilinganiso ngokucacile," kusho uKravtsova. - Umama uhlale eyazi ukuthi hlobo luni lwe-"X" oluzokwazi ukubekezelela ingane. Isibonelo, usevele ekwazi, ewile futhi ehlombe ngamadolo, avuke, agibe, ahlaziye, kodwa angahlali. Umama angafaka ngokucophelela ku-"X" naku- "igruk": ungabambeli lapho ehamba endleleni elula. Uma ewile, ingane iyakunqoba, kepha umama ungayithulisa, kodwa yena, mhlawumbe, uzofunda ukugcina ibhalansi, uzoqhubeka nolwazi lwezwe. Kodwa uma singeza "i-zet" kulokhu kulinganisa, kuyoba yiningi kakhulu kwengane: ingxabano, ukushisa okukhulu, ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo kuyokwenza ingane ibe yisidalwa esesabekayo. "
Funny Ghost
Uma konke kulungile emndenini, abazali bafuna ngokwemvelo futhi bathambekele ngokulinganisela, ingane iphinde ibuye iphinde ibone ukuthuthukiswa ukukhathazeka ngokwabo, ngaphandle kokusizwa okuncane kubadala. Ezinye ukwesaba zingase zivele kamuva, lapho ingane iba umuntu omdala, ivunywe ngezikhathi zenkinga yengqondo. Abesifazane abaningi, ababhekene nokucindezeleka, baqala ukuhlola izikhathi eziyishumi ukuthi ngabe insimbi ivaliwe; abanye besaba ukulala efulethini elingenalutho; abanye bahlushwa yiziqhwaga emva kokubukela ama-thrillers; othile futhi kuze kube yilolu suku wesaba amanzi. Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa into ethandekayo (ingane, umyeni) kungasishukumisela ukuba sihlaziye, sithathe isici se-phobia. Kodwa-ke, ngokuvamile lezi ziqhumane ziyaphela, kufanelekile ukuzinzisa isimo.
Ngakho, ezimweni eziningi, ukwesaba akuphazamisi kakhulu nengane. Kodwa namanje ungamsiza ukuba abhekane nazo ngokushesha. Ikakhulukazi badinga usizo lwabadala, uma i-alamu ingena kuma-hysterics. Umsebenzi wokuqala nobunzima kakhulu ukuthola ukuthi yini ngempela ingane esabayo. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu akukucaci neze. "Ngelinye ilanga ngahlangana nentombazane, eyatshelwa ukuthi yayinezinja zezinja," kusho u-Anna Kravtsova. - Ngaso sonke isikhathi ekuseni, ngimsheshisa indodakazi yakhe ukuba ngimyise kumhlengikazi, umama wezwa ukumemeza kwentombazane ukuthi: "Angiyikugqoka i-sweatshirt!" Njengoba le nja yayigqoke i-sweatshirt, umama wake wabuza: "Ingabe ukwesaba izinja?" wavuma futhi kusukela ngesikhathi lapho kukhona okungahambi kahle, wayelokhu ememeza ethi: "Ngesaba izinja!" Eqinisweni, wenqaba ukugqoka, ngoba wayazi: manje umama uzomthatha ngokushesha kumhlengikazi futhi apheleke usuku lonke. Ukuchazwa komama okungalungile kwadlala ihlaya elinonya. "
Ngaphambi kokubuza ingane ukuthi uyesaba yini, kudingeka ucabange futhi umgcine. Ngokuvamile, ukwesaba akubonakali ngamagama nhlobo - umzimba kuphela "okhuluma". Ingane eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala eneminyaka engama-5 enkulisa iqala ukugula ngaso sonke isikhathi ngoba yesaba ukuhlukanisa nomama. Umshayeli wokuqala angakwazi ukuqagela ukuthi ubuhlungu njalo ekuseni kusesimweni ngaphambi kokuba isikole sesabe ukujeziswa, ukwesaba "ukuncibilika." Ukukhathazeka okufanayo kungabonakaliswa ngokubonakala ubuvila: ingane yesikole enqaba ukwenza lezi zifundo yedwa, kuphela kanye nonina. Eqinisweni, uvele nje efuna ukugoba, wabelane ngokuzibophezela naye. Kwenzeka ukuthi isazi sezengqondo kuphela singabonisa imbangela yangempela. Kodwa uma sesivele itholakale, noma kusukela ekuqaleni kwakusobala, khona-ke indlela engcono kakhulu yokulwa nokwesaba iyadlala. Ku "Harry Potter" kunesiqephu lapho umfundi ngamunye we-magic school Hogwarts engena ezandleni zebhokisi enezingxabano ezibaluleke kakhulu, futhi kungenzeka ukuba abhekane nayo, eveza ngendlela engafani. Isibonelo, uthisha owesabekayo omunye umfana ogqoke isigqoko nokugqoka ugogo wakhe.
Ungadonsela ukwesaba kwama-caricatures, ubhale izindaba ezimnandi ngabo, izindabakwane, izinkondlo. Indodana yomngane wami ekilasini lokuqala yayesaba ukwesaba kakhulu umfundi ofunda naye - intombazane enamandla, ephakeme kakhulu eshaya bonke abafana kuqala. Wasizwa ngoma ingoma eyayihlanganiswa nobaba, lapho kwakukhona amazwi amaningi ahlambalazayo mayelana nentombazane. Ngaso sonke isikhathi, edlula ngeso lengqondo efunda naye, umfana wahlabelela ngokuthula, wamomotheka, futhi kancane kancane ukwesaba kwakhe kwaphela.