Ngokomlando, indoda inamandla kakhulu emzimbeni, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ukuziphatha kwethu, abameleli bobulili obuthakathaka okuthiwa buthaka. Ngakho-ke, imithetho yokuhlonipha nokubeka imithwalo yemfanelo emahlombe anamandla amadoda ethu. Ngokuvamile abafaki ukucindezela hhayi kuphela kwezisekelo ezisungulwe, kodwa futhi nathi, amantombazane angenakuzivikela angenakuzivikela. Kunzima ukuhlala uhlala usesandleni sakho, ukuzwakalisa izifiso zomthandi. Konke lokhu nokunye okuningi kungase kube yimbangela yokugxekwa.
Lesi yisisombululo esilula, esingenangqondo nesingenangqondo senkinga. Indoda igxeke, ichithe ingozi yakhe kumlingani wayo. Futhi kaningi akacabangi ngemiphumela yamagama akhe abonakala sengathi ayinamahloni. Indoda yakho ingaqala ukugxeka ukubukeka kwakho. Yebo, noma kunjalo kungavamile, kungenzeka ukuthi amantombazane agxekwa yinsizwa yakhe. Ngicabanga ukuthi lo mbuzo obaluleke kakhulu kokubili ukuthuthukiswa kobuntu bentombazane kanye nokwakha ubuhlobo bomshado ndawonye. Umbuzo ozwakalayo uvela: kuthiwani uma insizwa igxeka ukubukeka kwakho? Ukusabela kokuqala, ngicabanga nganoma yiliphi umuntu olinganiselwe "izinyo ngezinyo," okungukuthi, ukugxeka okuphendulayo.
Konke lokhu kugcina kuholela ekuhlakeleni, ukungaqondi kahle nakakhulu, futhi ngenxa yalokho, ukubhujiswa kobudlelwano obukhona kakade. Amantombazane, njengababambisene nezimo ezinengqondo futhi abangacabangeli bangakwazi ukuthonya isimo. Into esemqoka ukuqonda nokuqeda isizathu esibangela kumlingani wakho isifiso sokugxeka. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi kungani umuntu egxeka? Sombulula le nkinga kuphela ngokuqonda umlingani wakho. Ngiyakwazi ukunikeza izimo eziningana ezenza umlingani wakho agxeke. Ake sithi insizwa yakho isalungile futhi ukubonakala kwakho kude nemibono yakhe mayelana nokuhle. Ayikho enye indlela yokuphuma, indlela yokuqonda nokuvuma ukukhathazeka kwakho ngokubukeka kwakho.
Yiqiniso, indlela yokuqala ayengenakwenzeka, ngoba siphila ekhulwini lama-20 leminyaka, futhi ukuzinakekela emantombazaneni anamuhla kuye kwaba yimihla ngemihla. Ukugxeka insizwa yakho kungachazwa kuphela ngokukhubazeka ngokomzimba. Kodwa akukho okumele kwenziwe ngakho: noma ngabe le nsizwa iyayithanda futhi iyavuma ukuthi iyini, noma cha ... Ake sithi ungabanye amaqembu angahlelekile, ngokuqinisekile unesitayela esingavamile. Kungenzeka ukuthi insizwa yakho imane ihlazeke ngokukhathalela ngokweqile kumuntu wakho emgwaqweni nakwezinye izindawo zomphakathi. Ngicabanga, lapha ungaqonda ukuthi kungani kukhona isifiso sokugxeka? Ungazama kancane ulungise isitayela sakho, ususe imininingwane eningi kakhulu.
Kuvame kakhulu uma insizwa ihlambalaza ukubonakala kwakho, ungaqapheli ukuthi izizathu zangempela azikho ngenxa yokubukeka kwakho, kodwa ngokungazihloniphi kwakhe. Manje ngizozama ukuchaza. Ngicabanga ukuthi akusona imfihlo ukuthi ukuzivikela okungcono kakhulu ukuhlaselwa. Lokhu kuvame ukutholakala ekuqaleni kokuphola, ikakhulukazi uma le nsizwa ingenalo ithemba kuye. Ukuzama ukugxeka ukubukeka, kuqala kokungenza ungabaze amakhono akho, futhi, kungokwemvelo, ukubukeka kwakho kungaba ngendlela ephelele. Lapha, empeleni, ungamane ucele insizwa yakho ukuthi ingalokothi igxeke ukubukeka kwakho, ichaza ukuthi wena nemvelo yakho awucabangi kanjalo. Kunoma yikuphi, kudingeka ufunde ukukhuluma nomngane wakho, uxoxe futhi uxazulule izinkinga zakho. Izikhathi zokuxabana zingaba yisisindo. Kodwa emva kwakho konke, ubudlelwane obugcwele kufanelekile ukulwa. Kuyinto efiselekayo, yebo, ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazama ukuzigcina.
Futhi ngikholelwa ukuthi, esiteji sokuqala sitholakala kuzo zonke izibhangqwana, lokhu kuyindleko yobuhlobo obusanelisekile. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuguqa, ukuguqula nokuqonda ngokwengeziwe umlingani womgxekayo uyanyamalala. Akunikezi lutho oluwusizo ebuhlotsheni obugcwele, nakuba esigabeni sokuqala ngezinye izikhathi kungasiza. Ngikhuluma nje ngamacala lapho abalingani bengakafundi khona ukuthi bangakhulumisana kanjani, futhi abakwazi ukukhuluma ngokusobala izimangalo zabo komunye nomunye. Kulolu daba ukuthi kufanele kuqondwe kahle futhi, uma kungenzeka, okuthile okumele kulungiswe ngokwabo noma ngokuhlobene nomlingani. Uma insizwa iyakuthanda ngempela, uzohamba ukukuhlangabeza. Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi lobu buhlobo buzozuza kuphela. Ngifisa wonke umuntu inhlanhla, futhi ufunde ukusebenzisa ngokujulile.