Ngokujwayelekile umuntu uthola ukuthi une-rhinosis "idemoni elisenyakatho," nomuntu osemncane eceleni kwakhe - ukuphazamiseka kwesimo, nokuphumelela kwesoka eliphezulu. Futhi akekho ocabanga ngisho nokuthi laba bantu bangathandana ngempela futhi basondele, njengabanye. Abantu abazethembayo bayazi ukuthi akukho mingcele, futhi yini okumele icabange - konke sekuvele kubonakale. Ulungile kuye indodakazi yakhe, bavame ukudideka, yena-ngisho kancane futhi ngeke afune uthando nothando, futhi semolina for kwasekuseni nokulala amaphilisi ebusuku. Luhlobo luni luthando esingakhuluma ngalo? Ukubalwa kuphela, futhi akukho nenye indlela. Inkulumo evamile kakhulu engatholakala emshadweni lapho umdala esekhulile: "Awuboni, ulindele nje ukuba" asuse ihhashi ", ngabe yiliphi ifa .." Ngesikhathi esifanayo, njengokwenza okuboniswayo, inhlebo enjalo ingabonakali, kepha yenza isithunzi esihle sokholo nomzwelo okhanyayo. Ungacabangi, akekho ozokwenza noma ubani aqinisekise ukuthi lolu luthando, futhi kuphela uma amantombazane engayithandi nendoda, kodwa ngenani lama-zero e-akhawuntini yasebhange, nokutholakala kwamaningi "ama-portraits" kaBenjamin Franklin esikhwameni, kodwa okungafani kuphela ukuqinisekisa umthetho wokuthi imizwa ikhona.
Ngokuvamile kubhekwa ukuthi imishado engalingani, ngisho nokuba khona kwemizwa, ivele ihluleke ukuhluleka. Futhi ngalokhu kunezizathu eziningana ezibalulekile.
Ngakho ake, sibheke ukuthi umshado ubukeka kanjani ngempela uma umuntu esekhulile.
Ubani oqhubekayo?
Ngokujwayelekile inkulumo ngothando ngo "nje ngaleyo ndlela," iyakhohlisayo, ngisho neveli enhle kakhulu. Ukube "kwakungelutho, kodwa kungelutho", uthando lwethu lwaluyoba phakade futhi lusakaze kumuntu wokuqala esihlangana naye, ngakho njalo lapho sibona umuntu wobulili obuhlukile. Uzoyeka umuntu othize, futhi anikeze yonke imizwa yakhe kuye, ngokuphoqa ngqo lezi zimfanelo, ngokubonakaliswa esikuthandayo kanye nento esiyikhethayo. Kungabonakala, ingqondo, indlela yokwenza, amakhono amakhono akhethekile, amakhono, imikhuba, izici zobuntu. Futhi uma sisazi kakhulu umuntu esiyithandayo, "izinkokhelo" ezinjalo ezitholayo, eziqinisa ukukhanga kwethu komunye nomunye.
Kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ubulili, nesimo somphakathi. Ngakho-ke, emshadweni ongalingani, kunezizathu zokuthi kungani umuntu osekhulile akhetha intombazane encane, kanti owesifazane - wanakekela umuntu oqinile, omdala kunabo.
Kodwa ake siqale ngokuhleleka.
Ngokuvamile isilinganiso seminyaka ejwayelekile ephakathi kwabantu abashadile yiminyaka engu-3-5. Okujwayelekile kakhulu kubonakala emphakathini futhi kuchazwa kalula kusukela ekubukeni kwengqondo. Iqiniso liwukuthi, ngokuyinhloko, imibhangqwana iqale ukufaka ubulili ubuhlobo ngemva kokufinyelela ekukhuleni komphakathi. Kodwa njengoba abesifazane kulokhu bekwenza kahle, ke umahluko phakathi kweminyaka emihlanu, bathola ngokuthula ulimi olulodwa, ngoba basezingeni elifanayo lokuthuthukiswa komphakathi.
Ezimweni lapho umuntu ekhulile kunowesifazane ngo-10.20, noma ngisho neminyaka engu-30, omunye umthetho usuvele usasebenza. Lapha, hhayi nje kuphela umehluko weminyaka ekuqaleni, kodwa futhi futhi umehluko omkhulu ekubukeni kwezwe, imigomo yokuphila, izifiso, nokuqonda okujwayelekile kanye nemibono yokuphila okunjalo. Kodwa, lababambisene nabo bakhangwa kuqala njengomunye magnet. Isizathu sokuthi owesifazane uvame ukukhanga ukuvuthwa kwakhe, ukuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, ukungabi nomoya ekhanda lakhe, nokuzalwa kwengane, nomuntu onjalo, angazizwa ephephile, eqiniseka esikhathini esizayo, ukuzinza. Futhi kumuntu osekhulile, isidalwa esincane esinjalo, siphenduka njenge-apple yesantombazane, futhi sithinteka nje kuphela lokhu okuzenzekelayo, ubuhlungu be-naivety, ububele nobusha. Ngakho-ke lo muntu uqobo angakwazi ukuzwa amandla okwedlulele okwesikhashana, njengoba besho, ukuzwa intsha yesibili. Uzizwa ehle kakhulu, futhi ubona lo mshado njengethuba lokuqala impilo entsha. Ngakho-ke, emadodeni onjalo umshado onomuntu osemusha, ngokuvamile uba ngowesibili, noma wesithathu, ngemuva kwamahlombe kakade anesipiliyoni sempilo yomndeni. Ngokuvamile intshiseko enjalo "ukuqala kusukela ekuqaleni", izalwa emadodeni ngesikhathi sokubhekana nenkinga yobudala obuphakathi, futhi ihlala cishe eminyakeni engu-2-3. Ngemuva kokufika kwenkungu, futhi umuntu angakwazi ukuhlola ngempela isimo - umshado uphazamisa.
Izimbangela zokubola .
Isizathu sokuthi imibhangqwana iya esinyathelweni esinjalo njengomshado ongalingani, futhi isifiso sokugcwalisa konke ukuntuleka kwabo kwempilo, ohlelweni lomzwelo, luba njalo.
Ukufisa kwentombazane ukushada nendoda endala kunayo kungathinteka ukungabi khona kukababa emndenini lapho akhula khona, ukulahleka kwakhe ekuqaleni, noma ukubandakanyeka kukababa womndeni ekukhuliseni nasekuphileni kwezingane. Uzama ukugcwalisa izindwangu ezimbili ezingenalutho nomuntu oyedwa nomndeni wakhe: ukumbona njengomyeni wakhe, nokuthola ukunakekelwa kukababa nokusekelwa. Kulokhu, isizathu sokuhlukaniswa kuyoba ukukhula kwentombazane. Phela, izingane zizoshiya isidleke somndeni ngokuhamba kwesikhathi noma zingasadingi ukunakekelwa kwabazali bazo. Futhi uma ekuqaleni ukuhluka okunjalo akusidideli kakhulu lo mbhangqwana, emva kwesikhathi, ushintsho emigomeni yokuphila, izindinganiso kanye nezimfuneko zingenza bangabazi.
Uma sicabanga ngesimo ngamehlo omuntu, sizobona isithombe esihlukile sezinto ezenzekayo. Lapha ukungaqiniseki kobulili komuntu kuzodlala indima enkulu, kanye nokwesaba ukuqhathaniswa. Phela, nxazonke kukhona abesifazane asebekhulile, futhi abanolwazi oluthe xaxa, kodwa namanje zikhangayo ezifanayo futhi zodwa. Kodwa ngesinye isizathu, ukukhetha kuwela isidalwa esincane esibheka umhlaba ngokusebenzisa izibuko ezinemibala. Iqiniso lokuthi indoda engacabangi kakhulu iyaqaphela ukuthi sekuyisikhathi eside ingafani ncamashi neyaphambili, futhi mhlawumbe manje inesikhathi esingeke ngaso sonke isikhathi sikwazi ukukhanya phambi kwendodakazikazi nayo yonke amakhono akhe nobuhle bayo. Abesifazane abanokuhlangenwe nakho babephethe, ukuthi yini okufanele baqhathanise futhi bazi ukuthi yini abayifunayo, ngakho-ke, njengoba isidalwa esincane esingenalwazi sithola yonke into, njengokungavamile ukwenza zonke izidingo. Ngakho-ke, ukulinganisa kwenza ukuphila kube lula kumuntu. Ngokuvamile, konke kwenzeka ekuphileni, into eyinhloko ukuthi uyakwazisa imizwa yakho, kungakhathaliseki ubudala.