Lapho intombazane neyinsizwa ishada, ayicabangi ngokuhlukana okungenzeka. Kodwa-ke, ngezinye izikhathi, izimo esikhathini esizayo zenza ukuthi isehlukaniso kudingekile ukuyeka izingxabano emndenini oholela ekucindezelekeni nasekuhlukanisweni komyeni nomfazi.
Uma, indoda nendoda, isahlukaniso sivame ukukhululeka ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo, umthelela wokuhlukanisa ezinganeni kungalimaza ngokwanele impilo yabo engqondweni nangokomzwelo, engathinta impilo yabo yesikhathi esizayo. Ngisho nezingane ezincane kakhulu zizwa lapho isimo sengqondo emndenini sishintsha, i-spleen kanye nokucindezeleka bayasakazwa ngaso leso sikhathi. Ukuvikela izingane ekuhlukunyezweni kokuziphatha, abazali kufanele baphathwe ngendlela ephucukile yokuhlukanisa.
Into yokuqala okufanele ukwenze ukukutshela ngesinqumo sakho, ukufihla nokudonsa nayo akufanelekile. Uma ingane ingakafiki ayisithupha, kungashiwo ukuthi ubaba (noma umama) uzofika manje kuphela noma ingane izohambela. Uma ingane ikhulile, usuvele usichaza ukuthi iyiphi inkinga, lo mama nomama abakwazi ukuhlala ndawonye futhi bafuna ukuphila ngokuhlukile. Yiqiniso, ingxoxo enjalo engokoqobo ayikushiyi ithonya lesahlukaniso kumntwana, kodwa kungcono kakhulu uma efunda iqiniso kusengaphambili nakubantwana bakhe, hhayi kulowo omunye umuntu.
Njengomthetho, izingane kanye nentsha ziyesaba isehlukaniso ngoba aziqondi ukuthi impilo yabo izokhula kanjani, yibuphi ubuhlobo obuyoba phakathi kwabo nabazali babo. Ukuze kulondolozwe umuzwa wokuphepha wengane, umuntu kufanele asho ngokushesha ukuthi ungubani futhi ngubani oyomnakekela.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda isimo somntwana ukuze kumsekele lapho kudingekile. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuzodinga usizo lwabachwepheshe. Izingane ezincane, uma zineminyaka emibili noma emine ubudala, ukwesaba kwabo esimweni esishintshayo kubonakala ngesimo sokucindezeleka, ukukhala njalo, kanti abanye baze bayeke ekuthuthukisweni.
Izingane ezincane kakhulu azizwa nje ushintsho ebuhlotsheni phakathi komama nobaba, kodwa zingakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi yisiphi isizathu salezi zinguquko. Bangase baqale ukuphikisa ngesahlukaniso, lokhu kungazibonakalisa ngendlela yokungathandi ukuxhumana nabazali, ukuhlukaniswa noma ukubuyela esikoleni. Kubalulekile ukusiza ingane ukuba ivumelane nayo. Ngomntwana kufanele abe nokuxhumana okuningi namanye amalungu omndeni, nabangane babazali, nabangani bakhe. Ungaba nesilwane esiphazamisa ingane futhi uzokhohlwa ukuxabana komndeni.
Izingane ezineminyaka engu-11-16 zithatha isahlukaniso, njengoba umthetho, ngokubhikisha. Zingavalwa futhi zinobudlova, xhumana nenkampani embi. Baqonda ukuthi kungani kukhona izinguquko emndenini, kodwa abafuni ukubekezelela. Ngalesi sifo esivele siseduze, kuyadingeka futhi sikhulume ngendlela endala. Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngezinkinga abazali abangakwazi ukunqoba ngakho-ke isahlukaniso, bahlanganyele imizwa nemizwa ekhona okwamanje. Yebo, uma ukhuluma nomntwana kuzoba bobabili abazali. Omunye umzali akakwazi ukubhekana nalokhu. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi ingane izwa konke futhi iphendula ngokuhlukanisa ngale ndlela, izama nje ukuzivumelanisa nezimo ezintsha zokuphila. Uma usiza ingane ukuba ibhekane nesimo sakhe esicindezelekile, khona-ke ingane izosiza ukusinda lesi simo esinzima.
Sekuvele kwaziwa ukuthi abafana abakhulela ngaphandle kobaba noma abangenakwanele, bathola uhlobo lokuziphatha "oluyisifazane" noma banokungaqondi kahle ngokuziphatha komuntu. Ukuziphatha kwabesilisa kuphikisana nomuntu wesifazane futhi abazange basabele emazwini omama. Ngokuvamile abafana abanjalo abanenhloso engaphansi, abanomzimba omncane, abazenzile kancane, abazi ukuthi bangabazwela kanjani futhi ngezinye izikhathi bangalingani ngokugcwele, ngoba abazi ukuthi bangazilawula kanjani ukuziphatha kwabo. Ukwenza imisebenzi yabazali kulabo bantu kunzima kakhulu.
Amantombazane akhulela ngaphandle kobaba akanakulinganisa kahle umqondo wesintu, okusho ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukuqonda abayeni babo namadodana abo, okuyinto ezosithinta indima yakhe njengomfazi nomama. Uthando lukababa lubalulekile ekuzithembeni kwakhe, ngokuziqaphela kwakhe nokwakhiwa kwesifazane.