I-classical version yokuxhomekeka kothando - uma umfana noma intombazane efuna ukuqeda ubuhlobo, kodwa akakwazi ukukwenza ngisho noma kwenzeka, impilo ilahlekelwa yinoma iyiphi incazelo futhi izinsuku eziqhakazile ezijabulisayo ziza khona kubuhlungu obukhona.
Ngezansi kukhona izibonakaliso ezibonisa ukuthembela kwakho kumuntu othandekayo:
- Ukuphila kuyacindezeleka, kushushiswa ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo, konke kubonakala kungenalutho futhi kungadingekile;
- Uqala ukucabangela umlingani wakho womphefumulo;
- Ubudlelwano buyeke ukukunika injabulo, kodwa ukuwaphula akunamandla ngokwanele;
- Uthando luvame ukuthatha indawo yenzondo futhi ngokuphambene;
- Konke okwenzayo nakanjani kumuntu othandekayo wakho;
- Ubuhlobo obudala nabangani buyinto yesikhathi esedlule.
Ukuxhomeka kaningi ngokomzwelo kuphazamisa ubudlelwane obuhle, ngoba umlingani wakho angase angadingi uthando oludlulele nokukhathalela kwakho okuningi. Umuntu othembekile kumlingani angase angaqondi lokhu, futhi uzame yonke indawo ukujabulisa isigamu sakhe sesibili.
Ngokuvamile, ukuthandana okunjalo ngokomzwelo kuncike kwabesifazane, kodwa futhi kwenzeka ukuthi amadoda athile ayengathandeki kulokhu. Ukuchitheka, ezinye izifo, ukukhubazeka komzimba akuwona wonke uhla lwezinkinga ezivela ngemuva kokuthembela kumuntu othandekayo.
Kuvela kuphi ukuxhomeka?
Kukhona abantu abanomlutha wezidakamizwa ngaphezu kwamanye. Kungani lokhu kuxhunyiwe?
Umlutha wokuthembela usungulwa ekuqaleni. Ngokuvamile kungumnyaka nengxenye. Kule nkathi lapho ingane engqondweni ye-psyche imibono eqondile mayelana nokuthi ukuxhumana kwakhe okuqhubekayo nezwe elizungezile nabantu abazungezile kufanele kwenzeke. Abazali benza konke okusemandleni abo ukudala leli zwe ingane, ozokwanelisa zonke izidingo zakhe, zombili kokudla, nokunethezeka komzimba, ukuxhumana, ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo nothando. Uma phakathi nalesi sikhathi ingane ingenalutho, iqala ukuzwa indlala impilo yonke. Ngokuvamile, ngisho nasemndenini onenzuzo kakhulu, ingane ibhekene neqiniso lokuthi akayitholi ukugcwaliseka okusheshayo kwezidingo zakhe.
Umlingani onjalo uzothola umuntu konke ukuphila kwakhe ongamnika lokho engenakho ebuntwaneni bakhe: uthando olungenakuphikiswa nokuqonda, ukuqagela ngokuzimele kwezidingo, ukugcwaliseka kwezingubo, izifiso nokunye. Yiqiniso, lokhu akunakwenzeka. Okungenakwenzeka kungumlutha wokuthukuthela nokuphelelwa yithemba, okukwazi ukuguqula uthando oluqine kunazo zonke zibe yinkinga enkulu.
Yini okufanele uyenze nokuthi ungahlala kanjani othembekile?
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukukhuluma ngezindlela ezizosiza ukunqoba ukugula kwengqondo, kufaneleka ukunaka iphuzu elilodwa elibalulekile.
Yize kunzima kakhulu ukusho ukuthatha isifo esinjalo, ukuxhomekeka kwengqondo kunakekelwa kakhulu kunokwenyama, futhi umuntu oye wakwazi ukubhekana nesimo esinjalo okungenani kanye, ngeke aphinde ahlangane nayo.
Susa bonke oxhumana nabo
Ukuthembela ngokomzwelo kuyisifo, futhi siyazi ukuthi noma yisiphi isifo singelashwa ngemuva kokuba imbangela yaso isuswe. Ukususa umthombo wokuhlupheka, bayeka ukuhlupheka. Ayikho izinsuku zokuthandana, izingcingo, ubulili, izincwadi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ezahlukene kanye nokunye okunjalo. Kumelwe ususe bonke oxhumana nabo. Uma kungenjalo, usengozini yokugijima eqinisweni lokuthi ukuhlanganyelana kwakho kokuhlupheka kuzokugcina okungenani enye inyanga. Kodwa-ke, akufanele ulindele ukuthi uzosusa ubuhlungu phakathi nesonto. Cishe, kufanele uvumelane nalokho okuzobe kubi nakakhulu.
Zizikhandle ngemisebenzi ethakazelisayo
Ungakwazi ukuzidela kunoma yikuphi ukuzilibazisa, into eyinhloko ukuthi kuthatha sonke isikhathi sakho nemicabango yakho cishe nje. Ezinsukwini zokuqala, kuzodingeka ukuthi uzibophezele ukwenza okuthile, ngoba ukuguquka kwezimo ezinjalo kubaluleke kakhulu.
Usizo lwengqondo
Ngezinye izikhathi ukungenela kwengcweti yengqondo kungadingeka. Into yukuthi imbangela yokubonakala okunezinhlungu ezibuhlungu kunesidumbu esingathí sina, kodwa sithatha indawo ebusheni obude. Abantu abancike kakhulu ngokomzwelo yibo abangazange banakekele futhi bathande futhi abanesidingo sabo abangazange bahlangabezane nazo.
Kodwa-ke, ungakwazi ukufezekisa okuningi. Ubuchwepheshe esikubonayo kuzosiza ekunciphiseni isimo sakho futhi ufunde ukuthi uphendula kanjani ngokufanele imizwa yakho nezifiso zakho.
- Cabanga ukuxhumana kwakho nomngane wakho. Ubukeka kanjani? Kuyini: i-aura, intambo, intambo, i-ray?
- Sula ngokuqondile lokhu kuxhumano.
- Qaphela ukuthi yikuphi ukulahlekelwa owake wahlupheka - okungukuthi, ubukhona bakho buhle kangakanani nalo muntu. Izinzuzo zombili zomzimba nezomzwelo.
- Cabanga ukuthi unayo yonke le mithombo. Uphi lapho ungayithola khona? Zama ukuthola okungenani imithombo emithathu.
- Manje, faka ngomqondo lo mfanekiso omuhle kuwe. Sebenzisa uxhumano olufanayo olukuxhumanisile nomthandekayo wakho. Uma kwenzeka kuwe lokhu kuyintambo ebomvu, lapha konke kufanele kube okufanayo.
- Xhumana nawe ngendlela yakho entsha. Zizwa ukuthi kungcono kakhulu ukuba nazo zonke lezi zinsiza futhi wabelane ngazo nabanye. Ngalokhu uzokwazi ukuqinisa ukuxhumana ngamathuba amasha.
- Cabanga lapho ungasebenzisa khona izici zakho ezintsha. Kuzobathinta kanjani lezi zinguquko empilweni yakho? Uzenzenjani lokhu? Yeka ukuthi lesi sikhathi ubuhlobo bakho buzokhula kanjani ngenhloso yokunamathiselwe?
- Cabanga futhi uhlele ikusasa lakho ngaphandle komlingani. Njalo cabangela ezinye izinketho ekuthuthukiseni imicimbi.
Uma ukuthembela kudlulela, ukuvimbela ukuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukumeza ukuyeka ukukuphishekela. Ubuhlungu nokulangazelela ukunyamalala, isikhala esikhulu sikhululiwe othandweni lweqiniso - ngaphandle kokuhlupheka, ukukhathazeka, ukuthobeka, ukucindezeleka nokuphefumula.