Ukuze uhlaziye ukuthi yini owesifazane omeleyo noma indlela yokuphakamisa ukuzethemba, kufanele uqale wazi konke ukujula koqobo lwakho, lapho sifuna ukukusiza khona. Sinikeza izigaba eziningana ezizokusiza ukuthi uqonde ukuthi ungubani ngempela, futhi ngubani oyophakamisa ukuzethemba kwakho.
Isingeniso: ukuzihlola nokuzivocavoca.
Ngokwezibalo zengqondo ezivela eHarvard, le mibono emibili ifana nalokho okushiwo, ihluke kakhulu phakathi kwabo. Ukuzilibazisa okujwayelekile okuhlose ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba, empeleni, kuholela emiphumeleni ehluke ngokuphelele. Siziveza ngokwethu ngokwethu konke ukunqoba kwethu nokunqoba kwethu, futhi imiphumela yethu yonke ingase ibe ngaphansi kwesilinganiso. Inhlonipho - ikhono lomuntu ukuthatha ncamashi, kokubili okubi nokuhle - aluxhomekile ekuphumeleleni nasehlulekayo. Owesifazane onokuzihlonipha okuthuthukile uzithanda yena ukuthi ungubani. Isivivinyo esingcono kakhulu sokuzihlonipha sihlola ukuphendula kwakho ekudumiseni. Uzizwa uhlekisiwe, khona-ke uziphendulela ngokwakho. Cabanga ukuthi umuntu ohlonishwa kakhulu nguwe udumisa ulwazi lwakho oluhle lwetafula lokubuyabuyelela. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzojabula. Futhi izindawo ezingaphezulu lapho ukhona ukuphakama futhi ngaphandle kokuncoma, okungaphansi kokugxeka futhi kunzima ukukulimaza. Ngendlela, into ethakazelisayo yukuthi abantu abanokuzihlonipha ngokwengeziwe, ngokungafani nabanikazi bokuzihlonipha okuphezulu, abanamathuba okuba bazizwe benecala, bahlukunyezwe futhi bacindezeleke.
Uma udinga ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba kwakho futhi uqonde "I" yakho, ukulalela izifiso zakho, izinyathelo eziyisikhombisa ezilandelayo zokuqeqesha uzosiza ngokuqinisekile ukwenza lokhu.
Isigaba esisodwa: ukulungiselela.
Qedela umusho: "Uma ngabe ngiziphathe ngentshisekelo enkulu, ke ...". Ngokuqinisekile akucabangi, ngokuzenzakalelayo, udinga ukubhala imisho eyisithupha (okungenani). Lokhu kuwufanelekile ukwenza kabili ngosuku izinsuku ezintathu. Khona-ke udinga ukufunda uhlu olulandelayo. Ngenxa yalokhu, uzokwazi ukuzibuka ngombono ohluke ngokuphelele, ohlala, njengombuso, ongabonakali ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Isimiso yilokhu okulandelayo: kusihlwa, ngokugxila esimweni esithile, uziphoqa ukuba uhambe emgomweni usuku lonke.
Isigaba sesibili: ukuhlukanisa ubudlelwane obubi.
Lapha ungacela: "Ukhuluma ngobani ubuhlobo?". Futhi mayelana nokubhekana nomgxeka wakho wangaphakathi, lowo ofunga ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho wenza okuthile okungalungile ngombono wakhe. Futhi kulabo abakutshela ngaphambili kwesibuko: "Angizange ngidle ukudla kwasekuseni, futhi ngidle isinkwa ...". Ucabanga ukuthi leli zwi elingaphakathi ozishicilela lona? Cha nakancane. Emva kwakho konke, uphendulela kuwe ngokuthi "wena": "O wena, inkomo enomsoco" noma "isidalwa esivilaphayo," ngisho nawe ngokwakho ngisho naso sonke isikhathi uthi: "Yeka intombazane enhle namuhla!". Akulona iqiniso, njengokungathi awukwazi ukuzihlonipha uze ufunde ulimi lwesiJapane, awukwazi ukulahlekelwa isisindo, awukwazi ukuthenga ingubo kusuka ku- "Dior" yakho. Uyakuthanda intombi yakho ngoba ukhuluma isiNtaliyane ephelele? Cha nakancane. Awu, uma umnumzane wakho ebonisa amaminithi akho, nakanjani uzohlanganyela naye. Ngakho "nejaji yangaphakathi" kudingeka wenze okufanayo. Akufanele nje usabele ezindabeni zakhe, futhi uzoqonda ukuthi awutholi lutho ngaye.
Isigaba sesithathu: ukwazi ngokwakho.
Njalo ukujabulisa umuntu, uzama ukugcizelela izimfanelo zakho ezinhle kakhulu. Kodwa kungani uzifihla kuwe futhi ungaziqhenya ngalokho oyikho? Ukuze uphakamise ngaphakathi kwakho, udinga ukufunda ukuthi uletha kanjani ihlazo empilweni yakho. Isibonelo, empikiswaneni nabangani bakho, akudingeki wesabe ukuvikela iphuzu lokubuka ukuthi akekho osekela ngaphandle kwakho. Noma, ngemva kokufunda indaba oyithandayo kulo magazini, ungasheshi ukuvula ikhasi, kodwa zibuze ukuthi ucabangani ngakho.
Isigaba sesine: ukuveza imizwa ngamazwi.
Ukubhala phansi imicabango yakho ephepheni kuyinto ewusizo. Thatha inkathazo ukubhala incwadi yothando. Khombisa ukuthi yini eyenza wena ube mnandi kakhulu futhi ubuhle. Ngokuqinisekile uzothola izikhathi ezingaphezu kweshumi nambili. Ngendlela, mayelana nokungaphumeleli okuncane okukwenza uhluke kwabanye, udinga ukukusho futhi. Vele ubhale ngalokho oyikho, hhayi ngalokho okwenzayo. Ngenxa yalokhu kuvivinya, kulula ukuqonda lokho owesifazane akufanele, noma kunalokho, wena ngokwakho futhi uguqule ukuhluleka kwakho kube yizinzuzo.
Isinyathelo sesihlanu: nikeza izipho.
Ukuthi njengezipho ezingabonakali ngokuphefumlelwa kungakhulisa ukuzihlonipha kowesifazane. Into eyinhloko ukuthi lezi zipho akufanele kube yinduduzo, kodwa nje injabulo. Qala usuku ngalunye ngombono walokho okumangalisa okumnandi, ofuna ukuzenza namuhla nokuthi ungazijabulisa kanjani wena.
Isigaba sesithupha: umuzwa wokujabula.
Umzimba wakho ulangazelela ukuthandwa - isikhumba esivumayo noma izinwele ezinethezeka. Kodwa amentimitha engeziwe namakhilogremu lapha awadlali noma iyiphi indima - nephuzu. Zikwamukele wena nomzimba wakho, uma wenza lokho okuthandayo: balalela umculo owuthandayo, udansa. Yenza ngokuhlakanipha, uzizwe umculo ngenhliziyo yakho. Khumbula ukuthi njengokuya ocansini, uqale uzame ukubona umzimba wakho, bese uzwa ngemizwa oba nayo usondelene kakhulu. Kuphela ngale ndlela, ngokwazi ngokwakho nokwamukela isimo sakho njengoba kunjalo, ngokuqinisekile uyophakamisa ukuzethemba kwakho futhi uqale ukuzihlonipha.
Isigaba sesishiyagalombili: wena ngokwakho.
Vele uhlale, zithanda wena ngokujulile futhi isikhathi eside, futhi uthole injabulo enkulu kuwo! Ngikholelwa, ufanelekile kakhulu, ngakho-ke usebenzise njalo. Vele ukwazi ukuhlola kahle izimfanelo zakho namakhono akho! Inhlanhla!