Ukuqala kuphi
Thatha iphepha kanye namakholomu amabili (ushiya isikhala esanele phakathi kwabo) bhala izici zakho ezingu-12 eziphendula imibuzo ethi "Ungubani mina?" futhi "Ngingubani?" Isici esisodwa yizwi elilodwa, okungukuthi, amagama ayisithupha kufanele avele kukholomu yokuqala, futhi ngezichasiselo zesibili - eziyisithupha. Njengoba lokhu kungukuzimela, kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngalezo zici ezibonakala zikhangayo kuwe, kanye nalabo, nakuba bengaphelele, bakhuthuka ngokuzikhandla ngawe.
Isibonelo, isethi ingaba: "umlutha", "sissy", "onenhloso" njalo njalo. Kodwa uma umcabango ukunikeza izincazelo eziningi ezingacabangi, ungamelani. Uhlu lungabonakala kanje: "Amazon", "flying", "waterfall" njalonjalo. Ngokulandela isici ngasinye kusuka kokubili izinhlu kubhala okuphambene nakho. Akukhona ngokubusa kwemifuziselo yohlu oluthi "olubandayo" oluye lwaphoqelelwa esikoleni, kodwa mayelana nokuthi ubona kanjani i-antipode yalesi sici. Ungasheshi. Zilalele wena. Isibonelo, okuphambene ne "sissies" kungenzeka kube "ibhonasi yebhizinisi", futhi mhlawumbe "martin". Isichazamazwi "imvula yamanzi" umuntu uyoba ne "puddle", futhi othile - "olwandle". Futhi kunesithakazelo ngokukhethekile ukuthi iyophikisa i- "Amazon". Mhlawumbe "inkukhu"?
Kwavela? Kuhle! Esikhathini esisele esikhaleni esihlanzekile phakathi kwamakholomu, inombolo yezimbili, kuye ngokubaluleka kwesici kuwe. Inombolo eyodwa kufanele ibe yinto ebaluleke kakhulu, kusukela ekubukeni kwakho, inombolo ye-line 12 - okungenani efanele okwamanje. Manje ungathumela ikhophi yokuzithokozisa okuphumela ekutheni angaziwa muntu-makangifunde. Futhi waphendukela kuye.
Okulandelayo
Ungathatha izici eziyisihlanu kuphela zabaholi ukuze zihlaziywe, kodwa ungangena kulo lonke uhlu bese ubhala labo okuqaliswa kwakho okukudala ukudumazeka okukhulu. Bhala izici ezikhethiwe echasini labo elihlukile ngokuphikisa kwazo ukuze ukwazi ukudweba umugqa phakathi kwezibili. Phendula ngokucabangisisa, ngokwethembeka nangcono ekubhaleleni imibuzo elandelayo:
Ngubani othi (angasho ukuthi angasho) ukuthi kubalulekile - ukuba kube njengoba kuchazwe isici esikhethiwe? Khumbula konke oyokukhumbula: umama, isoka, i-psychoanalyst, uCarrie Bradshaw, upapa, omagazini abakhazimulayo, amazwi aphulile ekhanda - noma ubani.
Yikuphi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, okuhlangenwe nakho, okuqinisekisile ukubaluleka kwalesi sici ekuphileni kwakho? Okukhethwa kukho "umama nesoka ukuthi kuvunyelwe ukuhlanzeka kwami" akuhambisani. Thembela emizweni yakho. Kubalulekile ukuthi lezi zimo ngawe nokuthi uyazuza futhi ujabulele.
Phinda ubheke lesi sici. Ingabe ufuna ukushiya njengento ewusizo kuwe? Uma u-yebo, khona-ke emgqeni odwetshiwe phakathi kweziphikisanayo, phawula iphuzu ozizwa ngalo namuhla futhi manje, bese ukhetha igama lakhe. Isibonelo: emgqeni phakathi kwe "waterfall" kanye "nama-puddles" kungenzeka kube nephuzu elingakabi yi-waterfall, kodwa hhayi i-puddle. Mhlawumbe igama lakhe ngumfula? Noma umfula? Kungaba ngumfula? Khetha okukhethwa kukho, ukuthembela emizweni yabo siqu, kodwa ungavumeli ukuhamba nomgxeki wangaphakathi.
Kusukela ohlwini lwabantu obakho oxhumana nabo kuloluphawu kubaluleke kakhulu, khetha eyodwa. Akudingekile ukuthi uhlanganyele enkulumweni yezinkhulumomphendvulwano nobuningi obusabekayo futhi obuqine kakhulu, khetha lowo ongayiphendukela. Futhi ubhale incwadi. Kungaba mfushane njengenothi, kodwa kufanele kufaka amaphuzu alandelayo:
- Ukubonga ngomlingisi wokubamba iqhaza kwakhe ekugcineni kwakho ("ngiyabonga, umakhelwane, ukuthi unake impilo yami");
- Ukwamukela isimo samanje ("Manje ngingumfudlana, futhi angimelene nalo");
- Ukubeka isikhundla esisebenzayo ("ngokushesha nje uma ngizwa amandla nesifiso sokushintsha, ngizokwenza, futhi lokhu kuzoba yisifiso sami nokukhetha kwami").
Futhi kuthiwani?
Okuhlangenwe nakho okufihla ngemuva kwekhono "njengesiwula!" Kuhambisana nokungahambisani kwakho nezindinganiso ezithile, uhlu olufakwa ngokuzenzakalelayo ekhanda ezimweni ezinengqondo. Lezi zindinganiso zivame ukuphelela ekuziphenduleleni, kepha azizona ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe, kodwa ngokuphakanyiswa okuqhubekayo kwezibalo ezigunyazayo ezivela emvelweni (ngoba othile ungumama, futhi kumuntu - ibhulogi edumile). Ngakho-ke, ekuphishekeleni amaphethini afanelekayo, silahlekelwa yibo, silahlekelwa ikhono kanye nethuba ngothando lokuziphatheka ngokwethu, samukele ngokwethu njengathi. Kodwa ngokuhlukumeza okukhulu, sizibeka phakathi kokubili okuhlangene (ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuvamile okuhlazozayo ekupheleni okuphambene), ukuhlela uhlobo oluthile lombhede we-Procrustean. Yiqiniso, uma siqhathanisa nesifiso esihle, siyohlale sidumala. Kodwa ukuzishaya ibhizinisi elingenathemba, kunezindlela ezithandekayo zokuletha izinzwa ngokuvumelana. Ngemuva kokuqedela ukuvivinya umzimba okuhlongozwayo, wena, isibonelo, usuvele uthathe izinyathelo ezimbalwa kude neurosis futhi ngandlela-thile - ekutholeni ubunikazi bakho. Ukuze uqinise impumelelo, buyela ohlwini, uphinde uphinde ubenze kuzo izici eziphawulekayo kanye nalabo abasha abathola igama, bheka indawo yakho phakathi kokuphikisana okunzima. Angiphakamisi ukuyeka izinhloso nhlobo - yingakho encwadini owabheka abagxekayo bakho, kukhona isithembiso sokushintsha, kodwa kuphela lapho kufika isikhathi. Kodwa-ke, ngifakazela ukuthi ukhetho "lokuba, hhayi ukubonakala" linciphisa ingozi yokudumazeka, lunikeza inkululeko yokukhuluma nenjabulo kuyo, ngisho nalapho kungapheleli ukuphelela ukunikeza.