Ukuthukwa kungabhekwa njengokuzithandela kokuzithandela ngokwakho inkululeko. Kufana nejele, lapho iziboshwa zithathwa ilungelo lokukhuluma inkululeko, inkululeko yokuxhumana, njll. Abantu abaningi, indlela eyodwa noma enye, bazizwa bevinjelwe. Kuyinto idivayisi evikelayo yemvelo evumela ukuthi uhlole imiphumela engenzeka ngaphambi kokuzibophezela. Ngokuvamile amahloni ezinganeni ahambisana nokuzithoba. Ngisho nangaphandle kokuthi izingane ezinamahloni ziyakwazi ukuqonda ezinye zezimfanelo noma amakhono abo, ikakhulukazi zizigxeka. Esinye sezizathu zokuzihlonipha okuphansi yizidingo eziphakeme kakhulu kuwe. Zonke isikhathi zingaphansi kwezinga abazifunayo ngokwazo.
Ubuhlobo obuhle babazali nezingane kufanele buhlakulele ngabanye abantwana bezingane zasenkulisa, ukuzethemba okuqinile ngokwabo. Uma uthando lunikelwa ngaphandle kokukhululeka, uma lunikezwa ngokushintshanisa okuthile, isibonelo, ukulungisa "ukulungisa", ingane iyozicindezela yona kanye nokuzethemba kwayo yonke isenzo sakhe. Umlayezo wobudlelwane obunjalo nengane ubonakala: ulungile nje njengoba izimpumelelo zakho ziphawulekayo, futhi ngeke uphume ngaphezu kwekhanda lakho nganoma yini. Yileyo ndlela imizwa yothando, ukwamukelwa nokuqashelwa yenziwa yizimpahla zabathengi ezingahle zinikezwe ukushintshaniswa "ngokuziphatha okuhle." Futhi into ehlukumezeka kakhulu yukuthi ukuziphatha okungalungile okungapheli ungawalahleka. Futhi umuntu ongenamahloni, onamahloni uyabona lokhu kulandelana kwezinto ngokujwayelekile: yena uthi akafanelanga kangcono. Ngenkathi umuntu anikezwa uthando olungenasisekelo, ngisho nangemva kokuhluleka okuncane, akalahlekelwa ukholo ngokubaluleka kwawo okuyinhloko.
Imithombo yobuthakathaka ezinganeni zasenkulisa
Abanye ososayensi bezengqondo bakholelwa ukuthi amahloni anesimo sezakhi zofuzo. Sekuvele emasontweni okuqala okuphila, izingane zihlukile ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye: ezinye zikhala ngaphezulu, zijwayele ukushintshwa kwemizwa. Ngaphezu kwakho konke lokhu, izingane ekuqaleni zihluke ngokweqile ekutheni isimo nesimo sidinga ukuxhumana nabo. Kamuva, lezi zici zingahluma bese ziphenduka amaphethini azinzile zokuziphatha. Izingane ezinesimiso sezinzwa ezingavamile kakhulu ziyayithinta. Ngakho-ke, indlela yokuqapha yonke into ithuthukiswe futhi izimisele njalo ukuhamba.
Ukuthola okuhlangenwe nakho kwezenhlalakahle kwenza kube lula ukwakha izinhlobo eziningi zokuziphatha ezihlolwe ngokofuzo. Izingane ezithanda ukumomotheka, zivame ukumomotheka ngokubuyisela. Bavame ukugqoka ezingalweni zabo kunokuba babhekane nezingane ezinomsindo noma ezithule. Kunezizathu eziningi zokuqala zokuthuthukiswa kwamahloni, okubangelwa imizwelo yabantwana, kanye nokuthi lezi zimzwelo zibonwa kanjani umuntu othize. Uma abazali bengazi ukuthi bafundise kanjani izingane ukuba bajabulele, cishe bazokhula benamahloni.
Ucwaningo lubonise ukuthi izwe elinamahloni kakhulu kanye namahloni phakathi kwabantwana bangaphambi kwesikole yiJapane, lapho abantu abangama-60% abaphendulayo bazibona benamahloni. Umqondo wehlazo usetshenziselwa ukulungisa ukuziphatha kwabantu ngabanye ngokuvumelana nemikhuba yokuziphatha evumayo. AmaJapane akhula ngokuqiniseka ukuthi abanalo ilungelo lokungcolisa umndeni wabo okungenani. EJapane, wonke umthwalo wemfanelo wokuhluleka uhlala kuphela emahlombe wengane uqobo, kodwa impumelelo ngenxa yabazali, othisha nomqeqeshi. Uhlelo olunjalo lwezindinganiso lugxila kumuntu ukukhiqizwa kwamabhizinisi kanye nesinyathelo. E-Israyeli, isibonelo, izingane zikhuliswe ngendlela ehlukile. Noma yiziphi izimpumelelo zithathwa kuphela ngamakhono wengane, ngesikhathi esifanayo nokuhluleka kuthathwa ngemfundo engalungile, imfundo engasebenzi, ukungabi nabulungisa, njll. Ngamanye amazwi, izenzo ziyakhuthazwa futhi zikhuthazwe, futhi ukwehluleka akujeziswa kakhulu. Izingane zase-Israyeli azilahlekelwa lutho ngenxa yokunqotshwa, futhi ngenxa yempumelelo zithola umvuzo. Ngakho kungani ungazami? Izingane zaseJapane, ngokuphambene nalokho, ngeke zithole lutho, kodwa zingalahlekelwa okuningi. Ngakho-ke, bayangabaza ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi bazame ukungenzi izingozi.
Izizathu eziyinhloko zokwenza amahloni
Kunezizathu eziningi ezenza kube namahloni kanye namahloni, njengoba kunezimo eziningi eziqondile ezibangela ukucindezeleka njengendlela yokusabela esimweni esithile. Ngezansi uhlu lwezigaba zabantu nezimo ezingabangela ukusabela okunjalo.
Abantu abangela amahloni:
1. Ongajwayelekile
Abantu abanegunya (ngokusebenzisa ulwazi lwabo)
3. Abamele bobulili obuhlukile
Abantu abanegunya (ngokusebenzisa isikhundla sabo)
5. Izihlobo nabangaphandle
6. Abantu abadala
7. Abangane
8. Abazali
9. Abafowethu nodadewethu (abavamile kakhulu)
Ngokuvamile, amahloni ezinganeni zasenkulisa yasenkulisa kubangelwa abantu abahlukana nabo, ngezimiso ezithile, babe namandla, ukulawula ukugeleza kwezidingo ezidingekayo. Noma bangabantu abaseduze kangangokuthi bangakwazi ukugxekwa.
Izimo ezibangela amahloni:
- Ukuba phakathi kokubheka iqembu elikhulu labantu, ngokwesibonelo, ukwenza emasini
- Isimo esincane kunabanye
- Izimo ezidinga ukuzethemba
- Izimo ezintsha
- Izimo ezidinga ukuhlolwa
- Ukuntuleka, isidingo sosizo
- Hlala ubuso nobuso nobulili obuhlukile
- Ingxoxo yezwe
- Ukuthola ukugxila kweqembu elincane labantu
- Isidingo semisebenzi kwinani elinganiselwe labantu
Izingane ezinamahloni zihlale zikhathazeka kakhulu uma ziphoqelelwe ukwenza ezinye izenzo ezimweni ezingajwayelekile, lapho kunamazwi abalulekile abanye abantu abafuna ukukhungatheka futhi banethonya ngokungadingekile.
Ungasiza kanjani ingane enamahloni?
Izazi zengqondo zikhuluma ngezinhlobo ezintathu eziyisisekelo zokuziphatha "zabazali". Zichazwa kanje:
isibonelo somdwebo okhululekile - ingane ithola inkululeko enkulu njengoba iyakwazi ukwamukela;
isibonelo somodeli wobukhosi - inkululeko yengane inqunyelwe, inzuzo enkulu ukulalela;
isibonelo semodeli yokugunyaza - kukhona ukuphathwa okuphelele komsebenzi wengane ngabazali, kodwa kuphela ehlakeni elizwakalayo nelakhayo.
Imiphumela yocwaningo ibonisa ukuthi imodeli yokugunyaza iyadingeka futhi iphumelela kakhulu. Ikhuthaza ukuzethemba ngokwezingane ezinganeni zasenkulisa, okusho ukuthi kuyindlela ephumelela kakhulu ekuphulukiseni amahloni anganezingane. Naphezu kwemibono ejwayelekile, ukusebenzisa ukukhululeka okucacile ekukhuliseni akuyikuzethemba. Abazali baseLiberal bavame ukuphawula ingane ngokungenakulinganiswa, ababoni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuthuthukisa imigqa eyisisekelo yokuziphatha kwakhe. Bavame "ukwenza isono" ngokungavumelani emfundweni, ngenxa yalokhu, izingane zingaba nomuzwa wokuthi abazali abanandaba nemicabango yabo nezinkinga zabo, ukuthi abadingi abazali nhlobo.
Okunye okukhathazeka ngokweqile kuyisibonelo sokugunyaza sokukhuliswa. Abazali abakhetha lo modeli futhi abanandaba kakhulu nezingane uma kusho uthando nokukhathalela okungenasisekelo. Zinganiselwe kuphela ukwaneliseka kwazo zonke izidingo zomzimba. Ngokuyinhloko bakhathazekile ngezici ezinjengokukhuliswa nokuqondiswa, kodwa abazikhathaleli ngempilo engokomzwelo yezingane zasenkulisa. Abazali bezigunyazo kubalulekile ukucabanga ukuthi izingane zabo zikhiqiza kubantu abazungezile. Kubo, lokhu kubaluleke nakakhulu kunobungane bomndeni. Bayiqiniseka ngokuphelele ukuthi bakha "indoda yangempela" kusukela kwengane, bengazi ukuthi bafika okuphambene nalokho.
Ukuziqhenya komfanekiso ohloniphekile wokukhuliswa wukuthi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukhona khona ukulawulwa kwabazali, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingane iqala njengomuntu. Abazali abanjalo banombono ocacile walokho ingane ikwazi ukukwenza, ngokuvamile babamba izingxoxo eziyimfihlo futhi balalele lokho ingane enesibopho. Labazali abesabi ukushintsha imithetho yomdlalo, lapho isimo esisha sibashukumisela ukuba benze ngendlela ehlukile.
Ngaphambi kokubuyela ekuchazeni indlela yokulwa namahloni abantwana abengaphambi kwesikole nokufundisa izingane ezivulekile, ezomzwelo futhi ngaleyo ndlela zingenabantwana abamahloni, ngifuna ukuphawula okukodwa. Mhlawumbe wena, njengabazali, uzophoqeleka ukuba uzishintshe ngokwakho kuqala. Kungase kudingeke ushintshe ngokuphelele umkhathi endlini, ukuze kungabi negalelo ekuthuthukiseni amahloni kwengane.
Ukuxhumana okuthinta
Njengoba nje ukuxhumana phakathi kwamahloni nokungavikeleki kusobala, omunye naye akanakuhluleka ukuphawula ukuxhomeka kokuthinta komqondo wokuphepha nokuthula. Ngisho noma ungazange wenze lokhu ngaphambili, qala ukuchitha izingane zakho manje. Basha, bonisa uthando lwakho. Bathinte ngesineke, uhlaselwe ekhanda, ugibele.
Inkulumo enenhliziyo kuya kwenhliziyo
Kwafakazelwa ukuthi abantwana baqala ukukhuluma kahle futhi ngokucophelela, uma umama ekhuluma nabo kusukela ekuqaleni. Izingane, omama babo abenza imisebenzi yabo buthule, bakhulume kabi, banolwazi oluncane. Uma ngisho nomncane wakho omncane kakhulu ukuba angaqondi lutho - ukukhuluma naye. Ngakho ubeka inqubo ethile yokuxhumana. Lapho ingane iqala ukukhuluma yedwa, isifiso sakhe sokuxhumana siyoxhomeka ekutheni ulalela kangakanani futhi uyiphendule.
Vumela ingane ikhulume ngokukhululekile imicabango nemizwa yabo. Makukhulume ngokukhululekile ngalokho akufunayo, lokho akuthandayo nalokho akushoyo. Ngivumele ngezinye izikhathi ngidlulise intukuthelo yami. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu, ngoba empeleni abantu abanamahloni abazi ukuthi baziphathe kahle kanjani ngesikhathi sokuthukuthela. Ungavumeli ingane ukuba iqoqe imizwelo ngaphakathi kwayo, masifunde ukuvikela amalungelo akhe. Mfundise ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngokuqondile, isibonelo: "Ngidabukile" noma "Ngizizwa kahle," njll. Khuthaza ingane ukuba ikhulume, kodwa ungaphoqele ukuba uhlanganyele kuzo.
Uthando olungenasimo
Udinga ukuthatha ngokungathí sina amagama asezinzikhukhukhukhuthi abakholelwa ukuthi uma ungajabuli nokuziphatha kwengane, kufanele njalo umtshele ukuthi awukhathali ingane, kodwa ngezenzo zakhe. Ngamanye amazwi, kubalulekile ukuba ingane ikwazi ukuthi iyathandwa, futhi lolu thando aluncike kunoma yini, luhlala luhlala njalo futhi lungaguquki, okungukuthi, okungenamthetho.
Ukuyala ngothando nokuqonda
Isiyalo esiningi ngokweqile singathinta ukuthuthukiswa kwamahloni ezinganeni zasenkulisa ngezizathu ezilandelayo:
- Isiyalo kaningi sisekelwe ekungalungeni kokuqala kwengane, ngokufakazela ukuthi kufanele ukuthi ushintshe ngempela. Lokhu kuholela ekwehleni kokuzethemba.
- Igunya elesabekayo labazali lingakhula libe yinkimbinkimbi enkulu, lapho ingane izozwa khona ukwesaba noma yimuphi umuntu ogunyaziwe. Ukuthungathwa kuleli cala akuyona ukubonakaliswa kokuhlonishwa, kubonakaliswa kokwesaba kwamandla.
- Umqondo oyinhloko wesiyalo ukulawula. Izingane ezilawulwa ngokweqile zikhulela ukwesaba ukuthi zizolahlekelwa ukulawulwa noma ukuthi zizokwazi ukulawula isimo esinzima.
- Into yokujeziswa ngumuntu, hhayi izimo. Futhi kaningi isizathu sokuziphatha sisemkhathini noma ukuziphatha kwabanye abantu. Ngaphambi kokuba ujezise ingane, qiniseka ukuthi ubuze ukuthi kungani ephule imithetho yakho eyodwa.
Isiyalo akufanele sibe sesidlangalaleni. Hlonipha isithunzi somntanakho. Izikhalo zomphakathi namahloni, okuhlangenwe nakho kwengane ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungandisa ukwesaba kwakhe. Zama ukuqaphela okungalungile ingane kuphela, kodwa futhi ukuqaphela ukuziphatha okuhle.
Fundisa ingane yokubekezelelana
Isibonelo sethu kuphela esingasifundisa izingane ukuba zizwele. Bavumele bafune imbangela yokuhluleka kuqala kokubili ezimweni, hhayi kubantu abazungezile. Khuluma ukuthi kungani lo muntu noma lowo muntu enza izenzo ezithile ezingenangqondo, noma yini eyayingathinta ushintsho ekuziphatheni kwakhe.
Ungabi umntwana ingane
Uma nje ufuna ukutshela ingane into engathandeki, khumbula ukuxhumana okude phakathi kokuzethemba kwengane kanye namahloni. Lokhu kungakusiza ukunqoba umfutho. Kubalulekile ukuba ingane ihlolisise kahle.
Ithemba
Fundisa ingane yakho ngaphezulu ukuthemba abantu. Ngenxa yalokhu, kubalulekile kubazali ukuthi babe nobuhlobo obuseduze kakhulu nengane. Mtshele ukuthi uyamthanda futhi uyamthanda njengoba enjalo. Futhi ukuthi kukhona abanye abantu abangakwazi futhi bayamhlonipha uma esondela kubo. Yiqiniso, kuyohlale kukhona labo abakhohlisayo noma abaphambanisayo, kodwa, okokuqala, kukhona okungaphansi kwalokho, futhi okwesibili, bazokwenziwa ngokushesha noma kamuva.
Nakani izingane
Zama ukunciphisa isikhathi osichitha ngokuhlukile kumntwana futhi njalo umxwayise uma ungakwazi ukumnaka. Ngisho nemzuzu encane yenkulumo efudumele nehloniphayo nengane ibaluleke kakhulu kunosuku lonke, lapho uhlezi nxazonke, kodwa uhlale umatasa ngezindaba zabo siqu.