Imithetho yombuthano.
Awunakwazi ngempela ukuthi kungani kungimi, intombazane enomusa futhi enhle, angitholi ulimi oluvamile nabangani bami besoka? Futhi ngokuvamile, bathi, kungani kufanele 'ngifanele' nomuntu futhi 'ngithole ulimi oluvamile' nomunye umuntu?
Okokuqala, kuyadingeka ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane bakho. Ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, ngokuba nobulili obuqinile, imvelo yokukhulumisana kwayo kubalulekile kakhulu: yilapho eyazi khona njengomuntu futhi uthola isiqinisekiso sokuzihlonipha kwakhe nesimo sakhe. Futhi ngisho nonke uthando lwakho alukwazi ukukhokhela ubuhlobo "obubandayo" nabangane abaseduze ukuthi awusondelene emoyeni.
Okwesibili, ukulungisa nokubuka izindlela zokuthola "ulimi oluvamile", kukuwe. Khumbula ukuthi noma yimuphi umbuthano unamandla kunengqondo kunanoma yimuphi umuntu. Ngendlela, umuntu ozimele ngokwengeziwe, kunzima ngokwengeziwe, ngoba kuzo zonke izingqungquthela ezivele zakhiwe khona kakade unomholi ohlale eqaphele mayelana nalabo abasanda kufika abashadile. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ekutholeni ulimi oluvamile, awulahlekelwa amaphuzu akho abalulekile.
Inkathi enzima kunazo zonke ukuze uthole ukuqonda yimasonto amabili kokuqala kokuxhumana. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, abantu abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo bafundela intuitively rally futhi bahlale benesimo sengqondo sokulinda, futhi ujwayele ukwahlulela yonke into ngesimo esisodwa "Angikuthandi." Kubaluleke kakhulu kulezi zinsuku zokuqala ukungabhubhisi ubuhlobo ngokuqinisekisiwe ngezitatimende ezinzima nezigaba. Into encane engafandeki noma ihlaya lingalimaza idumela lakho, futhi ukungaboni kahle okushoyo ukushayisana ngxabano.
Uhlala phakathi kwabo.
Ukwakha uhlelo lokukhulumisana okuphumelelayo (awusakutholi ubungane obuhle, kunjalo?) Ngabangane bendoda - inqubo ngezinye izikhathi iyinde futhi idle isikhathi. Yingakho kudingekile ukuqala ibhizinisi eliyinkinga kuphela uma isikhuthazo sinamandla kakhulu. Isibonelo somshado, isibonelo.
Khumbula ukuthi kuwo wonke umbuthano imithetho yakho nokujwayele nabo kuzokusiza ekutholeni ulimi oluvamile.
"Imali nemisebenzi ikhetha konke."
Laba bangani, njengombuso, banamandla, bagxile ekukhuleni komsebenzi kanye nenhlalakahle yezezimali. Awunakho okuningi ngokufanayo nawo, ngaphandle kwakhe, owodwa kuphela.
Kungani ulinde? Emibuthanweni yebhizinisi, ukuzimela, ithemba, ukuzethemba nokukwazi ukuvikela imibono yomuntu bayakwazisa. Isitayela sokuxhumana nalabo abathandekayo sithandwa njalo futhi kunzima.
Indlela yokuziphatha? Laba bantu benza izahlulelo ngokushesha futhi abafuni ukuwabuyekeza. Ngakho-ke, kungcono nje ubazise ukuthi uzoba kulowo wonke umuntu "olwa", ngeke ukwazi ukufihla ngemuva kokuthandayo futhi ugweme ukuhlangana nabo. Khuluma ngokucacile izimo zengqondo zakho futhi wamukele ngokuvunywa. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi esikhathini esizayo esiseduze uzokwazi ukuthola "ukhiye wenhliziyo yabo".
Nini ukuthi "Yeka!". Uma uqhutshelwa obala ngasemuva ngabangane bomngane wakho, ungesabi ukulwa futhi ubonise "I" yakho. Emva kwalokho, ngokuqinisekile uzoba owodwa!
"Izizukulwane zabahloniphekile."
Uhlobo olungavamile lwabangani, kodwa lukhona. Laba bangani, njengombuso, bahloniphekile, bazikhukhumeza, bafundiswa futhi bahloniphekile. Isimemo esihle sokuba nekhefu letiyi liza ngokugcwele, futhi ngendlela efanele ukuziphatha etafuleni kuyisifiso sokwenza kusengaphambili.
Kungani ulinde? Laba bantu bakhuthazeke kakhulu ubuxoki nokuziphatha okungabonakali. Ngaphambili, bafaka ubuqotho nobuhle ekuziphatheni nasebudlelwaneni.
Indlela yokuziphatha? Ukuzijabulisa, ikhono lokugcina ingxoxo enhle yezenhlalo, i-charm, i-erudition - nalezi zimfanelo uzothola ukunqoba nokuthola okunembile kolwazi oluvamile ekukhulumisaneni. Ngendlela, ungahambi kakhulu nge-label futhi ungaphumuli ngaphambi kwesikhathi: kuwe uzobe esibheke kakhulu futhi ngenxa yephutha elikhulu "bazosuswa ohlwini lwabangani".
Nini ukuthi "Yeka!". Ngesikhathi lapho ifomu lizoqala ukunqoba phezu kokuqukethwe (kumbuthano onjalo akuvamile). Uma uqala esikoleni, chaza abangani besoka lakho ukuthi awulungele izinsizakalo.
"Ubukhosi bokudala".
Bangabantu abaphakanyisiwe kakhulu, abantu bokuqala nabangasoleki. Izingxoxo zabo ezingapheli zihlala ziphathelene nempumelelo yabo (umculo omusha, isithombe, ivesi). Ziyizinkolelo zomusa wazo futhi zivame kakhulu ukubonakala.
Kungani ulinde? Embuthanweni onjalo kungokwezifiso ukushintsha "abangane" ngokushesha kakhulu. Yingakho wena, cishe, uzothola ngokukhathazeka, kodwa uhlakazekile. Kodwa, futhi uma ungakwazi ukuqonda, isibonelo, "umculo wamagama," futhi awunathemba isihe. Futhi lapha futhi manje uzozwa konke ukufutheka kwabo. Abantu abakudala bahle kakhulu esiphiweni sokusho konke abakucabangayo "esweni," hhayi ukuhlazeka yizinkulumo.
Indlela yokuziphatha? Ukuze uthole abangani bakho abathandekayo ukuqonda, baqinisekise, umngane oseduze umngane wabo futhi ulungele ukuhlanganyela nabo emibuthanweni yabo yokudala. Khumbula ukuthi kulo mbuthano bayakwazisa ukuhluka komuntu siqu kanye nesifiso sokwakha. Izifanekiso lapha azisebenzi nhlobo, kodwa imibono engekho-template iyakwazisa kakhulu. Bonisa isifiso sakho sobuhle, ngisho noma ude nobuciko. Futhi ubufakazi balokhu ukuthi isoka lakho ngumuntu ohloniphekile kulo mbuthano.
Nini ukuthi "Yeka!". Uma uqaphele ukuthi imvelo yomuntu okhethiweyo uzama ukumfaka umqondo wokuthi kuwe "ukukhanya akuzange kuhlangane nomgqa". Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi abantu bokudala baseshasheni oluqhubekayo, kodwa lokhu akuyona inkomba yokonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho.
"Isikhulu sosayensi".
Ukuqapha, wonke umuntu emhlabeni uyazi futhi unikeza iseluleko kukho konke.
Kungani ulinde? Akufanelekele labahlobo abathandekayo, ukuba bazijwayele ngazo zonke izinhlelo zabo, kungenjalo uzozizwa uzihlanjalazwa. Ukubheka okukhulu kuzo kuzokwenza ukuthi uqaphele kulokhu noma kuleso sigaba.
Indlela yokuziphatha? Naphezu kwesizathu sabo, laba bantu bathembela kakhulu futhi bavulekile. Kuwe bafuna ukubona i-interlocutor ezolile futhi elinganiselayo ezobe ethi: "Ngiyakwazi ukukuqonda!".
Nini ukuthi "Yeka!". Uma uqaphela ukuthi "ucindezelekile" ngokweqile futhi ubonise ukuthi awufanelanga ukuxhumana nabo.
Yilapho ukujwayelana okujulile nabangane bakho abathandekayo kubonakala sengathi, kufanele uqhubeke usinda futhi ungene endaweni yabo, uqinisekise ukuthi ungumngane wakho okudingayo!