Bangaki abantwana okufanele babe nabesifazane?

Kulo mbuzo "bangaki abantwana okufanele babe nabesifazane?", Ososayensi bebefuna impendulo iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-37. Ngisho nesifundo senziwa, lapho abesifazane abayizinkulungwane ezingu-45, abaneminyaka yobudala ehlukene, bezizwe kanye nesimo sezezimali babamba iqhaza.

Lolu cwaningo lubekwe ngokucacile ubuhlobo phakathi kwenani labantwana nobude bompilo yabesifazane. Ngakho-ke, kutholakale ukuthi ingozi encane yokufa kwangaphambi kobulili obuhle kakhulu yabeletha izingane ezilodwa kuphela, ezintathu ezibangelwa ukushona okukhulu ngenxa yokulimala komama osakhulile izingane ezingaphezu kwezingu-5. Isizathu sokuthi umzimba wesifazane ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa nokubeletha kuthwala umthwalo, ngokuvamile ukulahleka kwegazi okuphawulekayo, izinqubo zokuvuvukala, ukwehlisa amandla okuzivikela, ukuphazamiseka kwe-hormonal. Kunoma yikuphi, ukulungiswa kabusha kokubuyiswa kokubeletha nokuvuselelwa kuyadingeka, okuthatha isikhathi, kodwa emndenini omkhulu lokhu akunakwenzeka. Futhi-ke, ukuhlanganisa umndeni, ikhaya nomsebenzi akulula ukwenza. Uma sicabangela isimo samanje emhlabeni mayelana nempilo yabesifazane, imvelo kanye nesimo sokuphila emazweni amaningi, singasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi ukuzalwa akusho ngaphandle kwemiphumela, futhi konke kuxhomeke ekuziphatheni komzimba wesifazane. Ngakho yini eyenza abesifazane babelethe kanye kanye, noma bahambe ngalokhu ngokuphindwe kaningi? Ake sibone.

Ungakanani okudingayo?

Kulungile, kubhekwa ukuthi isizwe sethu asiqali ngokufa kancane futhi ngokuzethemba, owesifazane kufanele abe nezingane ezintathu. Kodwa lokhu kuyimbono kanye nezibalo kuphela, kodwa kanjani-ke konke okuyokuba khona ngempela.

Manje sekumukelwe ukuthi izingane ezintathu ziningi. Nakuba ekuphileni okuvamile inani "abathathu" alibanga imbangela enjalo nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ngakho-ke, abazali bekusasa sebebekwa ekuqaleni ukuthi "izingane eziningi" azifuni. Eqinisweni, umndeni omkhulu ngempela, singacabangela umndeni, oletha okungenani amahlanu. Kodwa manje kungcono kakhulu kunomthetho.

Ngokuvamile kunzima ukuzalwa kokuqala kanye nezimo zezempilo kumisa owesifazane ngenzondelelo yakhe yangaphambili ukuba abe nomndeni omkhulu, ngezinye izikhathi kubangela izinkinga zezezimali, noma zombili umyeni nomfazi banquma.

Kwenzeka ukuthi imindeni enjalo isenquma ngesibini. Kodwa ngaphambi kwalokhu, bacabanga isikhathi eside, babuyekeze amathuba abo okubheka izinto, baxazulule izinkinga ngenkinga yezindlu futhi bahlele ukuziphatha. Umcabango wengane yesithathu, uma kunjalo, ayihlali isikhathi eside. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ungakhulumi wonke umuntu ohlonishwayo, owenza futhi ithonya lawo kithi. Futhi ngokuvamile abazali abafuna ukuba nabantwana abathathu noma ngaphezulu bavame ukutholwa ukuthi ayinakwanele ngokuphelele. Phela, akubona wonke umuntu ongabaziqhenya ngesimo esihle sezezimali, futhi ngaphandle kwezinkinga ezikhethekile zokukhula, ukuphakamisa nokufunda zonke izingane. Umphumela uba owodwa - inani lemindeni emikhulu edingekayo linciphisa.

Ufuna okungakanani?

Ososayensi baye bafaka phambili esinye isizathu esithakazelisayo kakhulu. Okuyinhloko yukuthi owesifazane oyedwa kuphela ovame ukufunwa yowesifazane othanda ukuhaha. Futhi njengoba kwenzeka, lesi sici somlingiswa sivame ukuqhubeka uma singenalo ifa, bese sibazali abafundelayo. Kuphela ngikucela ukuba uqaphele ngokushesha ukuthi lo ngumndeni lapho bazinquma ngamabomu ukuzibophezela kwengane eyodwa, futhi abazange benze kanjalo ngenxa yesimo sabo sezempilo kanye nezinye izimo ezibalulekile. Ingabe lokhu kunjalo ngempela? Nakhu ubufakazi obuqondile.

Ngakho-ke, into yokuqala esiyizwa kubazali abanomntwana munye: "Singakwazi ukuhlinzeka ingane eyodwa / intsha / ukukhula / eyodwa kuphela. Kulungile, kubonakala sengathi akukho okukhononda ngakho. Wonke umuntu ubala ngamathuba abo. Kodwa njengoba umkhuba ubonisa, kanye nokutshalwa kwezimali kuzo zonke izindlela zabo, amandla, kanye nezinzwa ezisuka kwengane ziqala ukufuna ukubuyiselwa okuphezulu. Abazali bafuna eyodwa, ehlakaniphile kunazo zonke, enhle, enamandla, ephumelelayo, njalo njalo. futhi m. ingane. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukunakekelwa okuncane kuvame ukukhokhelwa amakhono nezifiso zomntwana uqobo lwakhe. Yebo, futhi ingane ayinaso isidingo esinjalo, into yokunquma nokufisa, ngoba wonke umuntu ulungele ukuyenza. Abazali bazama ukuqaphela konke ngokusebenzisa ingane abangenakuyenza yedwa ngokwabo.

Awuzange uqaphele, kaningi amacala lapho owesifazane esevele esekhulile, ekwazi ukwenza umsebenzi othile wesilisa kahle, noma esebenzelana nento noma ithuluzi, ngokungaziwayo engaziwa nokudabuka ngezwi lakhe izimpendulo: "Ngangifuna umfana, futhi ngazalwa" . Nasi isibonelo esicacile sezithakazelo ezibekwe ngabazali. Kulesi simo, abazali bavame ukugxeka kakhulu ukwehluleka kwengane, futhi abakwazi ukwamukela umqondo wokuthi ingane yabo ayiyona ingane engumntwana noma iqhawe le-Olympic, kodwa ingane ejwayelekile.

Inani.

Lapho "ukubala" inombolo efunwa yezingane owesifazane okufanele abe nayo ngaphezu kwazo zonke izici okukhulunywe ngenhla, kufanele futhi ihlolwe ukuthi ngabe ufuna ukuzinikela isikhathi esithile noma cha. Uma kunjalo, kufanele kube khona okungenani izingane ezimbili. Phela, ingane idinga ukuxhumana njalo, kanye nokunakekelwa. Uma eseyedwa - into okuzofuna ukuba kugcwaliseke kuzo zonke izidingo zakhe, kuzoba nabazali. Uma izingane zingambili, ngakho-ke isikhathi esiningi bazozidlala ndawonye, ​​zikuvumela, uthathe amaminithi ambalwa ukwenza lokho okufunayo noma okudingayo. Kuyoba okufanayo uma kunezingane ezintathu noma ezine emndenini. Ngokuvamile, uma kubonakala okwesihlanu, isimo asiguquki kakhulu, njengoba owokuqala uzokhula kuze kube manje, futhi uzoba ngumsizi ogcwele kuwe. Kumele futhi kubhekiswe ukuthi izingane ezivela emindenini emikhulu zikhuthele, ziphethe futhi esikhathini esizayo azizesabi izinkinga zokuphila.

Futhi uma ungahlolisisi kuzo zonke izinhlobo zokuqapha, empeleni, akukhathaleki ukuthi zingakanani izingane owesifazane ozokuba nazo, into eyinhloko ukuthi bonke kufanele bafiswe futhi bathande. Izinkinga zomzimba bezilokhu zikhona, ukuxazulula izindlu kuzoxazululwa iminyaka eminingi, kodwa injabulo izingane eziletha ekuqhathaniseni nezinkinga kuthatha isikhathi esifushane kakhulu. Dlulisa isikhathi ngalesi sikhathi, futhi ungesabi ukulondoloza. Futhi ungakhohlwa ukuthi izingane ziyikusasa lakho, ngakho-ke unethuba lokuzikhanyisa.