Ngakho lezi zikhumbuzo zivelaphi futhi ziqala kuphi? Futhi konke kuqala ngomcabango owodwa omncane, okuncane kakhulu, okungawunaki. Kodwa ekugcineni ungena kuwo unobtrusively, futhi iqala ukukhula, njengebhola le-snowball kanye nayo yonke ukucwiliswa kuyo, iba yanda kakhulu, iqoqa imizwelo, imizwa nokukhathazeka. Kodwa izinkumbulo zobudlelwano obudlulile zikhethekile, zihlushwa kakhulu enkumbulweni, futhi ukukhohlwa ngabo ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu. Ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekuhlukaneni nomuntu othandekayo. Kodwa lesi sikhathi yisivivinyo esinzima kakhulu kumuntu. Ngokwezibalo eziningi ze-psychologists, abantu abafuni ukuhlukanisana, ngisho noma babe nobuhlobo obubi kakhulu, ngoba besaba ukubuyela ebuntwaneni. Kufana nokuhlukana nabazali bakho kabusha.
Kubuye kwenzeke nokuthi ukuhlukana kuhlala isikhathi eside ngenxa yezinto ezingenalutho nezingenalutho, okuvela kuwo kuphela. Kulo mzuzu, ukucindezeleka, ukudabuka nezinye imizwelo emibi zihambisana nazo zonke amandla abo. Futhi akukho kulokhu kuphila akuletha injabulo, futhi awufuni ukwenza noma yini. Ngokuvamile kunezimo lapho izinkinga ezingaguquki zidala umqondo webhizinisi elingapheli. Kulesi simo, kufanele ukhulume nomuntu owayengumthandi (isithandwa sami) ngethoni ezolile futhi kanye nonke uhlele wonke amaphuzu phezu kwami ebuhlotsheni bakho.
Kodwa nokho ungasusa kanjani izinkumbulo zobungane obudlule? Ngokuvamile izikhalazo ezifihliwe etilongweni ngemizwa yazo, isikhathi eside. Kodwa ngisho noma ucabanga ukuthi umhlukumezi (owephula umthetho) uthethelelwe (athethelelwe), intukuthelo isakwazi ukubuyela emuva ezinsukwini ezimbalwa noma ezinyangeni ezimbalwa. Kodwa njengoba leli zwi liya, liphilisa wonke amanxeba, kufanelekile ukulinda. Umbuzo owodwa kuphela: kungakanani? Futhi impendulo iwukuthi: wonke umuntu unendlela ehlukile. Omunye ulungele ukukhohlwa konke emva kwesonto, futhi omunye uzodinga iminyaka. Izici eziqakathekile lapha zikhona ubude bobuhlobo nobuntu bomuntu. I-TIME ingenye yezindlela zokukhohlwa ngobuhlobo obudlule futhi ulahle izinkumbulo kanye nhlobo.
Enye indlela yokwenza isenzo sokufanisa. Isibonelo: thatha ijeba futhi likhulu futhi ulilahle kude, ucabange ukuthi nazo zonke izinkumbulo zesikhathi esidlule ziyahamba kanjani. Noma ukukhanyisa ikhandlela futhi uyibheke, cabanga ukuthi, kanye ne-wax encibilikile, imizwa edlule nayo ifihliwe. Umphumela omuhle umonakalo wezithombe ezivamile: ukuphumula, ukushisa, noma ukuphonsela ku-urn.
Kukhona elinye ithuba lokukhohlwa ubudlelwano obudlule. Kumele sizame ukwenza kanjalo ukuthi endaweni yakhe akukho okukhumbuza umuntu owayengumthandi. Okokuqala, susa izinto zakhe, bonke oxhumana naye ocingweni nakukhompyutha, izithombe, izipho. Zama ukugwema izindawo zokuchitha isikhathi esivamile. Futhi, ekuhloliseni kokugcina, ukunciphisa ukuxhumana nomuntu wokuhlukanisa. Futhi kungcono ukuthatha isikhathi esithile ukuze wenze okuthile okumele ukwenze. Kungaba kuhle ukwenza uhlobo oluthile lwezemidlalo, njengoba ukuvivinya umzimba kusiza ukukhulula ubuchopho obuvele bugcwele futhi uthuthukise isimo sengqondo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukubonakala okusha nokuzijwayeza kuqinisekisiwe ukuphazamisa izinkumbulo ezedlule.
Phakathi kwezengqondo zengqondo kukhona iqiniso elithakazelisayo kakhulu: kusuka kunoma imuphi umkhuba omubi noma ukuthembela ongaqeda izinsuku ezingu-21! Ngesikhathi esiningi njengoba beqinisekisa, ubuchopho kudingeka buyakhelwe kabusha kwindlela entsha yokusebenza. Ungamsiza kulokhu, ugweme imicabango engafanele njengokuthi: "Angidingi muntu (ngidinga)," "akekho ozongithanda." Ngokuphambene nalokho, kubalulekile ukucabanga ngendlela enhle ngangokunokwenzeka, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ibukeka kanjani. Futhi ucabange kanje: "Ngizohlangana ngokushesha nomuntu othandekayo!". Emva kwakho konke, njengoba wazi, imicabango ingakwazi ukugcwalisa, futhi mhlawumbe, ngosuku olulandelayo, injabulo ifika kuwe. Udinga ukuvuleka futhi ungaphuthelwa nanoma iyiphi ithuba elisha.
Ebudlelwaneni obusha, zama ukungazidela yonke into, futhi ugcine ukuzihlonipha, ngaphandle kwalokho lokhu kungabethusa kuphela okhethiweyo wakho (okhethiwe) futhi ulahlekelwe yizo zimfanelo ezinhle ayezikhanga. Kodwa, njengomthetho, lokhu kusebenza kwabesifazane, ngenxa yemvelo yabo. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu: akumelwe neze uzisole ngezinto ezedlule, ungayeki umcabango wokuthi lo nguyena kanye umuntu engangikufuna ukuphila kuyo yonke impilo yami. Futhi ngizivumelanise nomqondo wokuthi konke kusengaphambili.
Umuntu ngamunye unquma indlela yokususa izinkumbulo zakhe zobuhlobo obudlule. Kuyoba nesifiso, kodwa isixazululo sizotholakala ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi akukhathaleki ukuthi iyiphi indlela ayithandayo, into eyinhloko ukuthi uyisize. Futhi khumbula into eyodwa: okwedlule kuphezu kwalo nakusedlule, ukushiya ngemuva, noma ngabe kuhle, futhi uma kubi, nakakhulu kunjalo, baphile okwamanje futhi bakholwe esikhathini esizayo esicacile!