Isimo somlingani oshintshiwe.
Ngemva kokuphinga, umuntu unomqondo oqinile wokudideka nokuhlupheka. Kulo mhlaba, angenza izenzo ezahlukene: angaqala ukuphindiselela, zama ukuqonda isimo, thola ubuhlobo. Futhi lokhu kuyimvelo: sonke sifuna ukuqeda ubuhlungu ngokushesha, ngokwenza isinqumo sendlela yokuphila. Ngokuvamile kunalokho, isinqumo esinjalo ukuhlukana kobudlelwane. Kodwa-ke, izazi zengqondo ezibhekana nezinkinga ze-psychology yokukhaphela, zeluleka esimeni sithintekayo ukuba singenzi ukunyakaza okubukhali. Ukuze wenze isinqumo sendlela yokuqhubeka, kufanele kuthathe isikhathi eside kuze kube mzuzu. Umuntu ngalesi sikhathi uzokwazi ukuzola futhi enze isinqumo esifanele.
Kulokhu akuyona into elula kungase kube nokuphuma okuningi nokuhlukana ubudlelwane - hhayi kuphela indlela yokuphuma. Ukuze wenze isinqumo esifanele ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekani okufanayo, okokuqala, udinga ukuziletha esimweni esihle sokucabanga kwengqondo, okuyinto enzima kakhulu.
Ngenxa yalokhu, izingxoxo nomqondo wezengqondo oziqonda izinkinga ze-psychology zokuphinga, umsebenzi, ukuhamba, ezemidlalo zingasiza. Ngemuva kokuthola ibhalansi yangaphakathi, zama ukuthatha ukubukeka okunengqondo nokucabangela isimo.
Kunezizathu ezahlukene zokushintsha. Sibala ezinye zazo.
Izizathu zokushintsha.
1. Ukuhlukumezeka kuyisignali yothando olungapheliyo. Ezingqondweni, ukuhlubuka kuyisizathu sokuqala. Kulesi simo, udinga ukucacisa ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho futhi uthole isibindi sokuphumula ukuthula. Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho wayengenayo inhliziyo yokutshela iqiniso, kodwa ungamgxeka nje ngalokhu, hhayi ngenxa yokuthi akanalo uthando ngawe.
2. Ukuphinga kuyisignali yenkinga ebuhlotsheni. Esikhathini isakhiwo se-psychology yokukhaphela, lokhu kungesizathu sesibili. Uma unenkinga ebuhlotsheni - lokhu akusho ukuthi uthando seluhambe. Kunalokho, ngokuphambene nalokho, ukukhwabanisa kubonisa ukuthi umlingani wakho ngale ndlela ufuna ukuxazulula inkinga futhi abuyisele uthando. Ngokwesibonelo, uma umyeni ezwa ukuthi umkakhe uhlukanisile naye, kungenzeka ukuthi uthande unobhala ngokungazelelwe. Kodwa isisekelo salokhu okukhanga akuyona uthando kumbhali, kodwa umzamo wokubhekana nomzwelo wokucindezeleka. Lokhu kungukuthi, kunokuba anikeze umkakhe icala, umyeni ngokungazi uzama ukulungisa lesi simo ngokuhlukumezeka. Izazi zengqondo ngokuvamile zithi ukuhlubuka ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube ukuqiniswa ebuhlotsheni. Ngokuvamile abantu abaye baphila ngokuphinga bagcina bekhunjulwa njengesifundo esihle, bafundise ukuphatha umlingani wabo ngokucophelela, ngesihawu esikhulu nokuqonda, bafundiswe ukuphana, ukubekezela, ukusiza.
3. Ukuhlambalaza kuyisiginali sokuthi umuntu unenkinga yangaphakathi. Esikhathini sokwakheka kwengqondo yokuhlukumezeka, lokhu kuyisizathu esivamile. Kungaba nezinkinga eziningi ezinjalo. Isibonelo, umuntu akalungele ubuhlobo obunzima. Uma umuntu eqonda ukuthi ubuhlobo nomlingani kakade buqala ukushintshela ezingeni elihlukile, ukwesaba kwangaphakathi kuyamcindezela ukuba amkhaphele. Kulokhu, umuntu ngokwakhe uhluphekile kakhulu. Phela, enye ingxenye yakhe ifuna ubudlelwane obunzima, kodwa ukwesaba okunye futhi kumqhube umuntu ekujuleni.
Enye inkinga yangaphakathi ukuziphendulela. Umuntu uvame ukukhulisa ukuzethemba kwakhe ngenani elikhulu lobuhlobo bobulili. Ngakho ufuna ukuzibonakalisa yena kanye nezwe lonke ukuthi ungumkhulukazi noma superman, ukuthi uyinkosi yezidumbu nemiphefumulo kanye nomnqobi. Futhi njengoba ukungavikeleki ngokwalo kuyinkinga yangaphakathi ejulile kakhulu engakwazi ukuxazululwa ngale ndlela, umuntu uhlala, njengangaphambili, ngokunganeliseki nokungaqiniseki kwakhe.
Izazi zengqondo zihlukanisa inkinga eyodwa. Bachaza le nkinga ngezinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zezinkolelo, okungukuthi, lokhu okulandelayo ukungabi nokuzethemba ekulandeleni lezi zinkolelo. Isibonelo, lesi sithombe sivamile, ukuthi indoda yangempela kumele ibe nomfazi kanye nenkosikazi. Noma, isibonelo, kuvame ukushiwo ukuthi ukuthembela okuthile kubangela ukwethembeka kumlingani oyedwa, futhi ukuze ugweme lokhu kuncika umuntu okhuphuka ngezindlela ezahlukene.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze?
Kunezinye izizathu, kunoma yikuphi, hhayi kuzo zonke izimo kungaba khona ukucabangela ukusabela ngokuhlukana ngokuphelele kobudlelwane. Phela, uma kwenzeka ukukhwabanisa komuntu, izinkinga zakhe zangaphakathi zimholela kuye, isinqumo esifanele futhi esifanelekayo salezi zinkinga singasiza ekubuyiseleni ubuhlobo kuphela, kodwa futhi ukwenza lobu buhlobo bube buqotho futhi bujulile, obungabhekene nobunzima obungokwengqondo. Yiqiniso, lokhu kungenzeka kuphela uma ubuhlobo buyabiza.
Mhlawumbe umuntu onothando obhekene neqiniso lokuhlubuka, esikhundleni sokuhlala emuva futhi ehlushwa intukuthelo, emicabangweni emibi, ngokuzihawukela, umuntu kumele azame ukubheka isimo ngokuhlukile? Isibonelo, vele ubone ukuthi kulesi simo, laba ababili bahlupheka. Ukuze ubone ukuthi ukuphila kuyinkimbinkimbi. Ukuze uqaphele ukuthi esinye isizathu sihlale siphoqele uphenyo, futhi leso sizathu singase singasazi kithi noma singasiqondisi kahle. Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlukumezeka kuyisiginali nje kuphela, kepha uma uqonda kahle lesi signali, awukwazi ukubhubhisa, kodwa uthuthukise futhi ubuyekeze ubuhlobo.
Futhi ekuphetheni, lapho ukhuluma ngokuhlubuka, kufanele kuthiwa ukukhwabanisa kungaba kokubili kokuqala nokuphela, nokuthi ubuhlobo buphela kanjani, kuphela okumelwe sikhethe.