Kungani konke kuhamba kahle? Futhi ungayichaza kanjani isimo ngokujwayelekile? Ingabe kusho ukuthi ubuhlobo bukhona ekuhlukaniseni isiteji, noma ingabe i-hitch encane kuphela? Konke lokhu kwenzeka, noma lokhu kungakalungi kakhulu kithi? Indlela yokubuyisela imizwa yentombazane ngomfana - funda kuphela esihlokweni sethu.
Ungesabi. Lokhu kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu. Kulungile, cishe wonke umuntu. Futhi uyamxosha - kukho konke into encane. Yena, isibonelo, uphonsa izinto, futhi uhlale uxoxa naye, noma efonini nezintombi eziningi. Unomthamo wezinhlamvu ze-biceps ezilingana nomthamo wesandla sakho, futhi awuhambanga neze ama-curls amakhemikhali. Uhlala ecaphuna u-Nietzsche (hhayi ngisho nokusola ukuthi empeleni nguRozanov), futhi wena, okwamanje, ungazi ukuthi ungafisa kanjani inyama ... Yikuphi okuphawulekayo, cishe unyaka nesigamu esidlule, njengoba nje edidekile izazi zefilosofi futhi waphonsa amabhulukwe akhe ngombala , futhi wawungakhulumi ngendlela engafanele futhi uphekwe kabi, kodwa wonke umuntu wayejabule futhi ujabule. Ukuthukuthela ngokushesha noma kamuva kwenzeka kunoma yikuphi ukubili. Lesi yisigaba esivamile, lapho umusi othanda ukuthandana naye uhlakazeka, i-oxytocin yayeka ukuthulukisa ubuchopho futhi yabuyisela ikhono lokucabanga ngokugxilile. I-hormonal factor is super -posed and psychology ehlanzekile. Eqinisweni, isiteji sokucasula empilweni ehlangene kuyisigaba sokulindela okukhubazekile. Yebo, wayazi ukuthi ucaphune, wahlakazeka futhi mhlawumbe uyakuthola endlebeni yakhe. Kodwa wawufuna ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo wayekholelwa ukuthi amaphutha amancane angalungiswa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Waye nethemba elifanayo lamakhono akho okucubungula kanye ne-oratorical ... Futhi manje isikhathi sesidlulile, futhi awuzange ulungiswe. Yeka ukuthi ungenzani lapha! Kuye ngokuthi uhlobo lomlingiswa, ukukhuliswa kanye nesipiliyoni sangaphambilini, uzobonisa ukucasula kwakho ngokucacile noma ngokucacile.
Singasiza kanjani?
Zama ukushintsha noma ukunciphisa into okuthandayo ethinta kakhulu. Ekugcineni, kungani ungakhulumi kahle futhi ufunde ukupheka okungenani izitsha zakhe ezithandayo? Qonda, ekugcineni, yikuphi ngempela okukucasula kakhulu-ingabe yena noma izinto ezihlakazekile ezungeze kuye? Izinto zingahlanzwa kakhulu. Futhi usulungele ukumkhipha empilweni yakho? Mayelana nokunganeliseki ngemikhuba ethile - ukukhuluma ngefilosofi yaseJalimane eqembu le-pop, ukubhema ekamelweni futhi ugweme amaqembu empilo - ungasho kahle ukuthi: "Ngiyakuthanda, kodwa, ungiqonde kahle, yilokho okwangikhathaza." Ekugcineni, uyakuthanda, okusho ukuthi uzama ukufanisa ukuhleleka kwakho (uma, ufunda ukupheka nokuyeka ukwenza imakhemikhali kumuntu wezinwele zesifunda). Nakuba kungase kuvele ukuthi uhlaselwa omunye nomunye ngezimfanelo ezingenakugwema: ubukhulu bezindebe noma ukuma kwamehlo. Noma iphunga. Noma i-timbre yezwi. Ukukhula, umbala nokuqina kwezinwele, ukwakheka jikelele kanye nenani le-moles. Futhi futhi kuthuthuka, ubuvila nokungakhethi ekuxhumaneni (ukuxosha, ukugubha, ukukhathazeka nokuntuleka kokuphepha) ... Ngamanye amazwi, iqoqo lezimfanelo zakhe azihambisani neze nemibono yakho ngomuntu ofanelekayo - lapho injabulo ebangelwa ngokocansi yaqala ukwehla, kwaba sobala. Yiqiniso, okulungile akutholaki. Kodwa ngokuyisisekelo, usenesikhathi sokuthola okuthile okude kakhulu nakwejwayelekile.
Akukho lutho oluhluphayo kimi
Ukuze kufezeke lokhu cishe kufana nenjabulo. Yena, njengangaphambili, ebuya ekhaya evela emsebenzini, uphonsa ijazi lakhe futhi ubophe ngqo embhedeni. Futhi awunami. Ubeka izingubo zakhe ekamelweni lokulala futhi uzizwe ngesikhathi esifanayo ujabule kakhulu. Kodwa wafunda ngokucophelela ukuba athande inyama yakhe (ngisho nenhlanzi) - hhayi wonke amantombazane awazi ukupheka. Kunoma ikuphi, uyazi ngokugcwele ukuthi lezi zinto ezincane azifaneleki izingxabano zakho. Kuyini - uthando lokuthethelela noma i-pofigizm ephelele? Zombili izinketho zikhona ngokulinganayo. Futhi, ngokujwayelekile, isifo sengqondo esingathí sina siyadingeka ukuze sikwazi ukuhlukanisa omunye komunye: uma uthanda umuntu kanye nakho konke ukushiyeka kwakhe (ongacabangi ukusilela), uzizwa. Futhi uma ungazizwa, awukhathaleli. Uma ubuhlobo bakho buphelile ngokuphelele ukucasuka, lokhu kuyisignali esesabekayo. Yiqiniso, impilo nge-inertia iyisisekelo esingaba khona sokuhlanganyela. Akekho ovimbela noma ubani. Ensimini eyodwa kukhona abantu ababili, ngamunye nompilo yakhe, nezwe lakhe. Kodwa umndeni akufanele ukhulume. Wena, kunalokho omakhelwane abalungile. Ukukhathazeka: uma umthanda, gwema ukuthethelelwa. Yiqiniso, uNkulunkulu unabo, nge-slippers ehlanjululwa eceleni komgudu. Ngokuntuleka okuphelele kwezindlebe zomculo nezemfundo yabantu. Futhi ngisho nokulibaziseka okuphakade. Kodwa-ke, uma ukhuthaza noma uthethelela imikhuba nezenzo ezilimaza ngokucacile umlingani wakho, khona-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi imizwa iyancipha. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzovuma, isibonelo, isifiso somuntu othandekayo ngempela ukucindezela ukucindezeleka ngeziphuzo ezidakayo ezinamandla. Njengentombazane enothando, ungathinteka ukuzungezwa okungeziweko nokuthobeka okwaluthola ngenkathi ehlala nawe. Kodwa njengowesifazane othembekile kufanele uvume ngaphandle kokuncoma okungadingekile ukuthi amakhilogremu engeziwe kumuntu akulungile. Uke wayeka umsebenzi wakhe ngolunye usuku ngemuva kokuphikisana nenhloko? Futhi ngokuvamile ufunga futhi uhlale ungasebenzi? Uma unesabelomali esivamile, cishe ngeke ukhathalele. Kunezinto ezimkhathazayo kuphela, kodwa zikhona ezithinta umndeni. Manje, uma bengakuphazamisi, ke-ke, ngokungaqondi, awusekho kulo mndeni. Lokhu akuyona inhlekelele, kodwa ukuzivuma wena akusizi ngalutho.
Babevame ukukhuluma nokukhuluma, kodwa manje akukho lutho olungakusho komunye nomunye. Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi sesiba abangabazi? Noma ingabe kusho ukuthi sesivele siseduze kakhulu kangangokuthi amagama ayadingeki? Esikhathini sokuqala sobudlelwane, konke okukhulumayo akulona ukulinganisa: emva kwakho konke, indlela yokukhuluma yokudlulisela ulwazi iyona eyinhloko ye-homo sapiens. Sifuna ukutshelana ngamaphupho ethu nezinkanuko zethu, sabelane ngezinkumbulo zobuntwana, sithola abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo kanye nezithakazelo ezivamile ... Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, inqubo yokuxhumana kwansuku zonke ingancishiswa. Isidingo esiyinhloko solwazi sanelisekile. Uyazi kakade kahle ngokwanele ukuqagela okuningi futhi uvame ukuqonda ngaphandle kwamagama. Ukuvuma okunamandla sekuvele kwenzeke, ubudlelwane buphelele buye kwacaciswa. Futhi ukukhulumisana ngamazwi kungakwazi ukubuyela emuva ngemuva. Lena inqubo evamile yokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane basekhaya. Kuncike ekutheni umuntu ukhona kanjani, ngendlela ebonakala ngayo emhlabeni. Kukhona labo abangakwazi ukuchitha amahora bekhuluma ngesimo sezulu noma imininingwane yohambo olulandelayo, ukuze bafeze isidingo sabo sokuxhumana. Lezi zilaleli ezicacile. Futhi kukhona labo abathanda ukukhala ngokuthula, behlezi embhedeni (kinestetiki). Futhi mhlawumbe unezinhlobo ezahlukene zokubona: ukhuluma ngokungaphezi, futhi ekubukeka ngokuthula, njengoWinnie the Pooh ebhodweni lobusi, uzwa, uyabonwa, kodwa unothando. Eqinisweni, emva kweminyaka engu-2-3 yokuphila okuhlanganyelwe, cishe wonke umbhangqwana unciphisa uhla lwezokukhulumisana ngamazwi, ngaphandle uma beqhuba ibhizinisi elihlangene noma babhala ingqungquthela ndawonye. Kodwa-ke, ukuthula kungabangelwa ukunganakwa (okuhlanganyene noma owodwa): ukhathele ukubeka imibono njalo, futhi akakuboni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuxoxa nodaba oluphakeme nawe.
Singasiza kanjani?
Uma isizathu sokuthula phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho kungukuntuleka kwezingqikithi ezivamile (lokhu kwenzeka kaningi), khona-ke i-aerobatics futhi cishe indlela yokuphumelela ukuqonda izintshisekelo zomunye nomunye. Uma ethanda ibhola, amahhashi nokudoba, futhi uyisipiliyoni sokudlala, kufanele ulungise ukuxuba. Qala ndawonye ndawonye enkundleni, ke - ukuya emidlalo yaseshashalazini. Khona-ke uzohlale unesihloko sokuxhumana okugcwele. Ungakha izithakazelo ezivamile kusukela ekuqaleni. Noma ngisho nezinkinga ezivamile. Uma unomntwana noma uhlela ukwakha i-dacha - lokho kuyokwanela ingxoxo isikhathi eside. Uma umngane wakho, ngokuyinhloko, engakhulumi ngokukhethekile - ungazami ukubeka indlela yakho yokukhulumisana naye - iyaphuza. Yilokho, wena-ke, ungakwazi ukuveza yonke imicabango yakho nemizwa yakho, ngoba kunesidingo, kodwa ungalindeli impendulo ecacile, eningiliziwe kuwo wonke amazwi. Nikeza ithuba komunye ukuthula kuze kube sekupheleni. Mhlawumbe ukhathele emsebenzini, isimo esibi noma into ebuhlungu. Uma impendulo kwisiphakamiso ingalungile, ayikho iphuzu ekukhuphukeni neminye imibuzo. Ngokushesha konke kuzocaca. Uma ungayitholi leyo engxoxweni, futhi isidingo sokuxhumana ngomlomo ukhuluma-ngothando. Akudingekile ukukwenza nge-pathos. Amahlaya, amacebo, izithombe ezingokwemvelo ... Ungakhulumi ngokuvuma okungaqondile - amandla, amathalenta, ukubaluleka komuntu empilweni yakho.
Lapho imizwelo, ehlushwa igciwane lothando, lizolile, bobabili niqala ukubuyela emikhubeni endala, emilenzeni ende. Ukuphakama emva konyaka wokuhlala ndawonye, isidingo sokuba phakathi kwezingalo zomzimba sinciphile ngokwanele ukuba wonke umuntu akhumbule ngesithuba sakhe somuntu siqu. Vala abantu ngezinye izikhathi kufanele baphumule komunye nomunye, sebenzisa isikhathi ngokuhlukile. Njalo konke okumele kwenziwe ndawonye kuyingozi ebuhlotsheni. Umuntu ngamunye udinga isikhala sakhe, ukuze iso lingabi yisepha. Kuhle ukukhathazeka omunye nomunye. Kufana nesilingo: unesizungu - lokho kusho ukuthi uyayithanda. Ukuhlukanisana kusiza ukuba uzizwe usondelene. Udinga ukuthatha kalula. Kodwa-ke, uma isifiso esivuthayo sokuhlala ngezinye izikhathi ngaphandle komunye kufana nokwehluleka ukuba nomunye nomunye - lokhu kuyisizathu esiyinkimbinkimbi sokucabanga ngaso futhi sibheke leso sizathu.
Kukhona okumele kwenziwe uma izidingo zakho zokuhlukanisa zingahambisani. Ufuna ukuba yedwa, kodwa ngeke akuvumele uhambe. Noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, unethemba lokuhlala naye, futhi ubalekela njalo. Into engcono kunazo zonke (futhi eningi kakhulu) ongayenza kule nkinga ukuletha inkinga kwingxoxo. Noma: "Ngidlala, ngikukhumbula." Noma: "Ngithande, ngiqonde kahle, ngifuna ngezinye izikhathi ukukhuluma namantombazane ngaphandle kwakho." Uma inkinga ingaxoxwa ngakho, akuyona inkinga yakho enkulu. Mhlawumbe nawe uyeke ukukhuluma esikhathini esidlule? Noma ingabe ucasulayo? Noma ingabe konke kuyafana nawe? Phinda ubuyekeze lesi sihloko futhi - ngokuzumayo esinye seziqephu sizoba sakho.