Indlela yokufakazela kumyeni ukuthi akulungile

Emlandweni wesintu, sekuyisikhathi eside abesifazane bebophezelekile ukuba balalele abayeni babo, izenzo zabo zilungile noma cha, futhi akuzange kwenzeke kubo ukuthi babuze ukuthi bangazibonakalisa kanjani kumyeni ukuthi wayephutha.

Kodwa izikhathi zidlulayo futhi ukuziphatha kuyashintsha, manje owesifazane uzimele, unamalungelo afanayo nemisebenzi njengamadoda, futhi akathuli uma ephulwa, futhi angakwazi futhi ukukwazi ukuvikela umbono wakhe. Kodwa namanje, ezingeni lezakhi zofuzo, indoda ivame ukuzidumisa phezu kowesifazana, lokho abonisa kukho izenzo zakhe namazwi. Ngakho-ke, zikhona izimo lapho izingxabano zithatha cishe lowo mlingiswa womhlaba wonke, futhi kule mpi owesifazane kufanele akhiphe, ngoba nje ukufakazela kumyeni wakhe ukuthi uyiphutha kubonakala kungenangqondo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, noma ukukhala, noma ukuhlambalaza, noma ukucela kuyasiza, noma kunjalo umphumela munye - ulungile, futhi iphuzu liyilo.

Kungani?

Yiqiniso, ngemuva kokuzikhandla okunjalo, into yokuqala efika kuwo wonke owesifazane ekhanda ngumbuzo waphakade "kungani?". Ngale ndlela, bavame ukuzama ukuthola impendulo, noma okungenani incazelo encane, isizathu sokuthi umuntu anganquma kanjani izenzo zomyeni, nokuqiniseka kwakhe ngokufaneleka kwabo. Futhi lapho sesifinyelela emininingwaneni, ngokuphindaphindiwe sibheke esimweni esifanayo ekhanda, lapho siqonda ngokwengeziwe ukuthi siqinisile, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ukufaneleka kwethu kunqatshiwe, okuyinto engajabuli kabili.

Lokhu kuziphatha kungachazwa ngezindlela eziningana. Okokuqala uhlamvu. Noma ngabe yini ongayisho, uhlamvu lwenza umuntu ukuthi uyini. Futhi uma uhlobo lwenkani, ukucacisa ubudlelwano nomuntu onjalo kudinga umzamo. Kodwa kukhona futhi ohlangothini oluhle, lo mlingisi angahlala elungiswa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lokhu kudinga ukubekezela, ukusondela nokufisa komnikazi walesi simiso esinenkani kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwesifiso, kulula ukubuyisana, futhi uzokwazi ukuzivumelanisa nokuphila okunjalo.

Indlela yesibili yokuziphatha okunjalo ingase ikopishe umlando wokuphila womndeni wakhe. Uma esendlini, ubaba wayehlale ephethe izwi lokugcina, futhi umama wayephansi kakhulu kwentando yakhe futhi wayecabanga ukuthi kuyinto evamile - kungani umangale. Uma sibheka abazali bethu, siyakubhala ngokucophelela indlela yokuziphatha, okuzobonakala esikhathini esizayo ekuphileni kwethu komndeni. Ngakho-ke, uma kunjalo, unethuba lokufeza imigomo yakho ngokukhuluma, noma uthathe isikhundla sikanina.

Futhi isizathu sesithathu, sidinga ukuzindla nomzamo kuwe. Phela, cishe awuzange ucabange, inketho enjalo lapho ukufaneleka komyeni kuyiqiniso, hhayi nje izithelo zengqondo yakhe. Kule ndaba, esikhundleni sokubonisa umyeni ukuthi akalungile, kungcono ukulalela umbono wakhe, engeza eyakhe, futhi uthole ukulingana.

Wena kimi, futhi mina kuwe.

Phakathi kwabesifazane abaningi kunezinye izinganekwane ezingachazwa ngokomfanekiso ngokuthi "wena kimi, nami ngedwa". Okuyinhloko yukuthi uma umfazi eshaywa umyeni wakhe ngento ethile, ngakho ngenxa yesizathu esingaziwa, uyaqiniseka ukuthi esikhathini esizayo uma ephoqelekile ukuba anikeze kuye. Kusukela ekubukeni kwamadoda, ukuvunyelwa okunjalo akuyona into enkulu futhi akuthwali lutho. Futhi awusuke uhlose ukuzibophezela ngokwakho isibopho sokushiya ngokumelene nentando yakho. Icala eliyingqayizivele lapho umuntu ozithandayo noma engafuni ukungena empikiswaneni uzovuma nomkakhe. Futhi isizathu salokhu kuyoba yisifiso sakhe kuphela, noma uhlobo oluthile lokuzikhandla ngokomoya, kahle, ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ubuvila, kodwa hhayi ukuthi ubuke waziphikisa ohlangothini lwakhe.

Izofunda ukuzwa.

Ezimweni lapho ukuvinjelwa kwesinye, kungabangela ukuthembeka komunye, futhi kukhubeke enkani, kunoma yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa, noma ukuqonda, kuyadingeka. Lokhu kusho ukuthi uma umyeni eqiniseka ukuthi uqinisile, futhi engafuni ukuzwa noma yini enye, umfazi kufanele aphenduke ekuhlakanipheni kwakhe kwabesifazane. Ungathola indlela kunoma yimuphi umuntu, kukhona amacala nje uma kunzima ukukwenza, kodwa kungenzeka. Okokuqala, funda ukuzwa umyeni wakho. Cha, kucacile ukuthi uma uzwa ukuthi wenza kahle, futhi uveza umbono wakho, umyeni wakho, kahle, akazethembi yena ekhaleni. Lapha umqondo wokuzwa usetshenziswa kakhulu, njengokukwazi ukuqonda okushiwo yilokho okukhulunywe ngakho, ikhono lokuqonda umuntu nokuhlola ngokucophelela lokho okuye kwazwakala. Ngokuvamile, ngokusebenza, kubangela ubunzima bokuqala kuqala, ngoba uma uqala ngempela ukungena kumbhalo wonke, kuvela ukuthi okuningi akukabikho okwamanje. Lokhu kwenzeka ikakhulukazi uma umuntu engakhulumi kahle imicabango yakhe futhi ngokuvamile kufanele aqagele umxhumanisi. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuqagela kwakhiwe ngemibono yabo, kodwa "bangaki abantu, imibono eminingi kangaka". Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi idoskazal eyodwa, eyesibili ayiqondakali kahle, ngayinye iyodwa, futhi ngenxa yalokho - isisulu.

Funda ukukhuluma.

Ulimi lwethu lunemiqondo eminingi futhi luhlukile, oluvumela ukuba sikhulume ngemicabango yethu ngendlela ehlukile futhi sihlathulule izenzo ezifanayo. Lokhu kwenza inkulumo evamile ibe eyomile, enezela imibala yezwi. Kodwa kulokhu kwenzeka kukhona ohlangothini olubi. Amathuba anjalo avumela abantu ababili ukuba bakhulume ngento eyodwa futhi bangaqondi ukuthi yini esengozini. Uma ufunde ukuzwa umyeni wakho, futhi ufuna ukukuzwa - funda ukukhuluma kahle. Veza imicabango yakho ngokuzethemba, futhi ukuze ungaqondi kahle. Izwi elikhuni nelithembekile lokubiza amagama lizokwenza ukuthi i-interlocutor ethule futhi alalele. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzophinde ulalele, bese umbuzo wokuthi ungamfakazela kanjani umyeni wakho ukuthi ukhona okungalungile usufile.

Yiqiniso, kunezimo lapho zonke izindlela zingasebenzi futhi abantu abakwazi ukufinyelelwa. Isizathu salokhu singase sibe: ukuzibamba ngokweqile, ukuvinjelwa okukhulu, ukungafuni ukuzwa konke okunye, nokuqinisekiswa okufanayo okuyi-100% kokufaneleka komuntu. Uma unecala elinjalo, uyazi ukuthi inkinga ijulile kakhulu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi idinga usizo lochwepheshe. Ungazama nje ngokuzithoba, thonya lowo muntu, wamukele okungalungile kwakho, futhi ube nesineke. Ngezinye izikhathi lesi simo senza abesifazane bacabange ukuthi bazokwazi yini ukuphila impilo lapho "I" yabo kuzodingeka iphoqelelwe khona eceleni kwepulani lesibili noma sonke isikhathi sokufakazela kumyeni ukuthi akalungile. Okumele ukhethe kufike kuwe.