Isikhathi sokuba ndawonye
Izinkinga zezezimali, imibono noma izihlobo ezingokwenkolo zithinta isinqumo ngesiphetho somshado njengeqiniso lokuba nezingane ezivamile. Ngokwezibalo, u-71% wezakhamuzi zakithi azihlukaniswanga ngenxa yengane.
Kodwa, ungazivumeli ngisho ucabange ngenkululeko yokubopha izibopho zomshado, ngoba ukhulela izingane ezivamile, phendula ngokungaqondile umbuzo: ingabe imbangela yenzalo kuphela? Ukumnakekelwa kwengane ngokuvamile kuyisembozo esivumelanayo sokwesaba abesifazane nokuqondakalayo - ukwesaba ushintsho, ukwesaba isizungu, ukwesaba ubuphofu, ukwesaba ukubheka okubi emehlweni abantu. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe izihlobo, kubalulekile ukubhekana nalezi zinkondo, ngoba ziphelile ngokuphelele.
Ukwesaba isizungu. Naphezu kwemibono eqinisekisiwe yokuthi "akekho ofuna ukuphakamisa insimu yomunye" nokuthi "Angidingi noma ubani onogada," abesifazane nabantwana abahlukanisile bafumana umngane omusha lula futhi kulula kunabo abangenabantwana nabangashadile nabo. Futhi lokhu kuyaqondakala: kakade banesipiliyoni sokwakha ubudlelwano phakathi kwabo futhi bazi kangcono ukuthi yini engayilindela emshadweni; baqonde ingqondo yabantu (kubandakanya amadoda ashadile) futhi angathumela amandla oshade naye ngamandla ngendlela efanele.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, umshado nowesifazane usuvele unezingane, amadoda ahlolisiswa njengesiqiniseko esithile sokukwazi kwakhe ukuzala. Uma esenomntwana oyedwa, ngeke kube yinkinga yokuthi aqhubeke.
Imishado ephindaphindiwe, njengombuso, ihlala isikhathi eside ngaphezu kokuqala. Phela, le nyunyana ayixhunyiwe ngothando oluphambene nokukhathazeka kwentsha, ayikho ilukuluku noma isifiso sokuqeda ukunakekelwa kwabazali, kodwa lakhiwe ngokuvumelana nomqondo ovamile futhi isekelwe ebuhlotsheni kanye nokusizana ngokubambisana endleleni yokugcina umndeni uqinile futhi ubumbene. Lena umshado olinganayo, obambisene. Kubalulekile ukugcina isikhashana ngemva kokuhlukanisa, ngokufanele - cishe ngonyaka.
Ukwesaba ukucindezeleka kwezezimali. Ngokuvamile imbangela yangempela yesizathu isahlukaniso.
Kwezinye izimo, ukulondoloza umndeni kuzoholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu kunengane.
1 Udlame lwasekhaya, ngokomzimba noma ngokuziphatha.
2 Ukuphuza ngokweqile, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukugembula komunye wabazali,
3 Indlela yokuphila ephathekayo yokuphila komunye wabazali,
Kunezizathu eziningana zokulondoloza umndeni:
Uthando oludlulile ludlulile, kepha phakathi kwakho kukhona inhlonipho nokuqonda okubili.
Isinqumo sokuba umzali sazi, nonke nifuna ingane.
Unesithakazelo esivamile, imbangela evamile.
Unesifiso esinamandla namandla okusebenza wena kanye nobuhlobo bakho.
Ulungele ukushintsha wena nombono wakho wesimo. Imindeni emibili ibangela ukushayeka.
Ukuhlunga ngokuqondile izinzuzo nezindleko zokuphila ngokwehlukana, uthola ukuthi kunezondo eziningi futhi awukwazi ukubhekana nabo.
Uqonda ngokucacile ukuthi impilo yakho ngaphandle komlingani izoshintsha ngokubi kakhulu - kokubili wena nezingane.
Ukulondeka komndeni ukuxhomekeka kwezezimali kumlingani wakho. Maye, isixazululo sombuzo wezezimali uma isehlukaniso siwela emahlombe owesifazane. Ngisho no-alimony akuvamile ukusiza ingane ukuba ikhule kahle.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunezindleko ezimbalwa, uma nje kungenasidingo "inyama yomuntu" kwimenyu yansuku zonke. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, lo wesifazane angakwazi ukuhlela isabelomali ngokwakhe, ngaphandle kokubika imali.
Ukwesaba ukulahlwa kwabanye kungendlela yokugcina umndeni uqinile futhi ubumbene. Umbono wabakhulukazi emnyango kufanele ube nesithakazelo sokugcina, ikakhulukazi ngoba ukungazi ukuthi "umama ongashadile" no "ntandane" baphoqelelwa kancane kancane emphakathini.
Ukwesaba ukuvimbela ingane. Ukukhulisa ingane ehlanjululwe kahle emndenini ongaphelele akuyona umsebenzi olula, kodwa kungenzeka. Futhi isimo esiyinhloko salokhu ukulahla noma yimuphi umcabango mayelana nephutha lakho siqu nokuthi umntwana okhulela nomama onothando, obalulekile, ojabulayo futhi othulile, angase angajabuli. Ngokufanelekile, emva kokuhlukanisana nomyeni wakhe ngendlela enokuthula, owesifazane angakwazi ukuxhumana phakathi kwengane noyise wakhe. Uma kungenjalo, ihlombe likababa lingatholakala endaweni ye-laze ngaphandle kobuhlobo obusha: indima yendoda esemqoka empilweni yomntwana ingadlala umzalwane omdala, umkhulu, umngane womndeni, njll.
Thatha isinyathelo
Kwezinye izimo, kungukuthi isehlukaniso esenza isinyathelo esifanele, esenzelwe ingane.
Phila nabazali bobabili, abahlala behlambalaza, ngoba ingane igcwele izinkinga. Uhlu lwazo alufinyeleleki kakhulu: kusukela ebusuku ukungahambi kahle komchamo kanye nokuqothulwa kobuhlungu ukugubha, ukukhuluma, ukuthuthukiswa ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.
Izingane ezineminyaka engaphansi kwezingane zasenkulisa futhi ikakhulukazi "izingane ezingenangqondo" zinezinzwa ezibucayi kakhulu - zizozwa ubuqotho ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabazali. Kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu kuzozibonakalisa kumyalo wengane, ukuxhumana nabanye ngisho nasenhlalakahleni yengane. Mhlawumbe ngisho nokuvela kwezinkinga zempilo yangempela - ngakho ingane ingabhekana nokubhekana nesimo esibucayi, ishintshe ngokwakho.
Isisulu esinenjabulo yakhe "egameni lomntwana" singabi yize: inzalo yakho ayikwazi ukuyiqonda, ngisho nangemva kokukhula. Kodwa ukumenza abe nomuzwa wokuthi unecala uqobo ngempela. Ikakhulukazi uma sigcizelela ukuthi ngenxa yakhe kuphela, abazali abangajabulelana, baphoqeleka ukuba bahlale ndawonye.
Ukwehliswa, ukwesaba, ukuhlukumezeka, okujwayelekile emindenini lapho abashade bahlupheka khona, kuyothinta ingane. Ukuchithwa okungalungile okwenziwe kubudlova, ukuziphatha okubonisa, kwenza umntwana angathintana naye, ivaliwe. Kungenxa yezingane ezivela emindenini enjalo, eziphephile kuphela, futhi zithi: "Umndeni awukho ngaphandle kokubi."
Ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukuthi ingane ibone uyise kanye ngesonto - kodwa inomusa futhi ilinakekile, kunokucabangela nsuku zonke ubuso bukayise, obugcotshwe kwi-TV noma kwikhompyutha.
Isibonelo sobudlelwano bobulili bobulili, okuyinto ingane etholakala ebuhlotsheni babazali, kungaba kakhulu amathuba okudluliselwa empilweni yomuntu siqu. Ukungena kanye nokubandisa, ukubusa emndenini "ogcwele", kubangela ukuthi kusukela ingane ikhula umuntu omdala ongenandaba, engakwazi ukuzwa imizwa yangempela, noma eyinkimbinkimbi futhi engaqiniseki komuntu olahlekile.